Managing Mental Illness on First Cruise?

Hi all! I'm new to cruising and have never been on a boat/ship for more than a few hours at a time. To say that I'm terrified is an understatement. I am agoraphobic and claustrophobic and I have social anxiety. My husband and wife (we're poly) booked this cruise without my input for husband's birthday. We are also planning on doing our vows together since we haven't gotten around to it and it seems we'll never actually have the wedding and we've been married (as far as we're concerned) for a few years now. I don't want to go on this cruise. I want them to be able to go and have a great time! Without me. Unfortunately, my husband would rather just cancel the whole trip, but my wife is so excited! And she should be! I'm just so not. The thought of being away from land freaks me out. And only having my tiny cabin to retreat to away from people doesn't help at all! It's a Carnival Cruise and I have yet to see anything that looks like fun for me. I don't drink, I don't do casinos, I don't do group activities (with the one exception of my crossfit classes at my home gym), and I sunburn in shade. I'm also terrified of sharing a table with strangers at dinner! Yes, it is amazing that I'm still alive, and I barely cope at home as it is. How do I get through this "vacation" without completely ruining it for my husband and wife??? I'm ready to vomit from the anxiety and fear that on the cruise I'll be somewhere between bored and catatonic!

Hi all! I'm new to cruising and have never been on a boat/ship for more than a few hours at a time. To say that I'm terrified is an understatement. I am agoraphobic and claustrophobic and I have social anxiety. My husband and wife (we're poly) booked this cruise without my input for husband's birthday. We are also planning on doing our vows together since we haven't gotten around to it and it seems we'll never actually have the wedding and we've been married (as far as we're concerned) for a few years now. I don't want to go on this cruise. I want them to be able to go and have a great time! Without me. Unfortunately, my husband would rather just cancel the whole trip, but my wife is so excited! And she should be! I'm just so not. The thought of being away from land freaks me out. And only having my tiny cabin to retreat to away from people doesn't help at all! It's a Carnival Cruise and I have yet to see anything that looks like fun for me. I don't drink, I don't do casinos, I don't do group activities (with the one exception of my crossfit classes at my home gym), and I sunburn in shade. I'm also terrified of sharing a table with strangers at dinner! Yes, it is amazing that I'm still alive, and I barely cope at home as it is. How do I get through this "vacation" without completely ruining it for my husband and wife??? I'm ready to vomit from the anxiety and fear that on the cruise I'll be somewhere between bored and catatonic!

Stay home.

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You are very brave to post your question here. There are many nasty hateful people who are going to flame you like crazy. Please ignore them.

I was afraid that I would find the rooms too small, I am also claustrophobic. If you have a room with a window (oceanview) you will not find it claustrophobic, the rooms are a decent size. It will be like being in your own bedroom.

You do not have to eat with other people. You can eat in the buffet, out by the pool (they have a great hamburger and cantina near the pool) Or room service.

I agree about the activities, I found I was often bored. Download some videos from Netflix, bring some extra books and bunk in your room when it gets too overwhelming. Valiums are also a nice thing, try to bring some :) will help the anxiety.

Try to go with an open mind and attitude, right now you are freaking out, but I think you will find it is not as bad as you think it will be.

Stay home.

 

 

 

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Agreed. Just stay home. Let 'them' go and have a fun trip.

Hi all! I'm new to cruising and have never been on a boat/ship for more than a few hours at a time. To say that I'm terrified is an understatement. I am agoraphobic and claustrophobic and I have social anxiety. My husband and wife (we're poly) booked this cruise without my input for husband's birthday. We are also planning on doing our vows together since we haven't gotten around to it and it seems we'll never actually have the wedding and we've been married (as far as we're concerned) for a few years now. I don't want to go on this cruise. I want them to be able to go and have a great time! Without me. Unfortunately, my husband would rather just cancel the whole trip, but my wife is so excited! And she should be! I'm just so not. The thought of being away from land freaks me out. And only having my tiny cabin to retreat to away from people doesn't help at all! It's a Carnival Cruise and I have yet to see anything that looks like fun for me. I don't drink, I don't do casinos, I don't do group activities (with the one exception of my crossfit classes at my home gym), and I sunburn in shade. I'm also terrified of sharing a table with strangers at dinner! Yes, it is amazing that I'm still alive, and I barely cope at home as it is. How do I get through this "vacation" without completely ruining it for my husband and wife??? I'm ready to vomit from the anxiety and fear that on the cruise I'll be somewhere between bored and catatonic!

With the fear issues you have I, also, suggest you stay home and not participate in the cruise.

I would love for them to go on the trip without me and have a fantastic time! My husband will not do it. He absolutely will not go without me even with my insistence. My wife is too excited about it for me to break her heart by not going. I am only looking for how to cope. If not going was an option, I would simply not go.

I think what one of the previous posters suggested, book a cabin with a window at least or a balcony would even be better.

Bring books or a tablet loaded with movies and books, eating in the buffet is a great idea for dinner because you can go up there and not have to share a table. Otherwise book "My Time Dining" and you will get a table for 3 (be warned that the tables will be fairly close together).

You do not have to participate in anything!! I sunburn easily too and I usually find a lounger in the shade away from the pool deck and enjoy the breeze and the shade and just read.

I don't understand about being away from land, its not a thing that worries me, but you are really never far from and island in fact you can often see land on the horizon.

I would also speak to an M.D. and request valium or other medication to help get you through your anxiety.

There is room service if you’d prefer not to eat with others.

I would be more concerned that the two people that love you, wouldn’t know you well enough to understand that a cruise wouldn’t be something that you’d enjoy.

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You are very brave to post your question here. There are many nasty hateful people who are going to flame you like crazy. Please ignore them.

 

I was afraid that I would find the rooms too small, I am also claustrophobic. If you have a room with a window (oceanview) you will not find it claustrophobic, the rooms are a decent size. It will be like being in your own bedroom.

 

You do not have to eat with other people. You can eat in the buffet, out by the pool (they have a great hamburger and cantina near the pool) Or room service.

 

I agree about the activities, I found I was often bored. Download some videos from Netflix, bring some extra books and bunk in your room when it gets too overwhelming. Valiums are also a nice thing, try to bring some :) will help the anxiety.

 

Try to go with an open mind and attitude, right now you are freaking out, but I think you will find it is not as bad as you think it will be.

I am certainly not going to "flame" OP. If the post is bona fide, it would be unkind, if it is a scam simply responding would be an exercise in gullibility.

I am however curious about your prescribing valium - have you expertise in treating anxiety?

There is room service if you’d prefer not to eat with others.

 

I would be more concerned that the two people that love you, wouldn’t know you well enough to understand that a cruise wouldn’t be something that you’d enjoy.

 

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I was going to say the same thing. If you love them enough that you don’t want to disappoint them, they should reciprocate and do the same for you and realize the cruise will not be fun for you, and ultimately all of you, in my opinion.

Well I know I couldn’t sail in an inside but a balcony is fine. Around the ship in general I don’t feel claustrophobic but just stand8ng in the doorway of an inside cabin starts to stress me.

Hi all! I'm new to cruising and have never been on a boat/ship for more than a few hours at a time... I'm ready to vomit from the anxiety and fear that on the cruise I'll be somewhere between bored and catatonic!

Search these boards for “claustrophobia “ and similar terms. There have been several discussions. I recall one that went on for several months as the person involved got advice, tried some things, eventually went on a cruise and not only survived but enjoyed. You might find such stories from those who have been there, done that, more useful than lay speculation. My personal advice is to talk to a professional about how to cope. If it seems that the stress will be too great, book a week for the three of you at an all inclusive resort and chill out in peace. And try the cruise idea again in a few years.

Stan

It's a Carnival Cruise and I have yet to see anything that looks like fun for me. I don't drink, I don't do casinos, I don't do group activities (with the one exception of my crossfit classes at my home gym), and I sunburn in shade. I'm also terrified of sharing a table with strangers at dinner!

I don't drink. I don't do casinos. I don't do the group activities I think you're thinking of. I don't burn, but I like sitting out in the sun as much as a vampire. And I love cruising.

Talk to the maitre d about your issues and see if they can put you on a 4 top table by yourselves. Or e-mail access@carnival.com and ask about being in a private table so they can put it in ahead of time. Room service works too. Or get your family to grab food at the buffet and bring it down to the room for you (we do this).

I don't think even Interior cabins are all that small. I've been in smaller hotel rooms in NYC for example. But an ocean view or balcony would help a ton.

Bring a Kindle. Or watch tv in the room. If you can do CrossFit, there's likely a few small group activities you may want to try as well.

I am certainly not going to "flame" OP. If the post is bona fide, it would be unkind, if it is a scam simply responding would be an exercise in gullibility.

 

I am however curious about your prescribing valium - have you expertise in treating anxiety?

I take valium to fly, (claustrophobic) takes the edge off. She should consider talking to her doctor about something to help with the anxiety. I personally like low dose valium.

I would love for them to go on the trip without me and have a fantastic time! My husband will not do it. He absolutely will not go without me even with my insistence. My wife is too excited about it for me to break her heart by not going. I am only looking for how to cope. If not going was an option, I would simply not go.

thats between you and your doctor/therapist.

I'm not sure this is a genuine question.

If it is, suggest you not seek medical advice from total strangers. Make an appointment with your doctor and discuss these fears with them.

Most of Carnival's cabins are a decent size. I would definitely opt for a balcony cabin...that adds to the usable space. You can pick "anytime" dining, where you are seated ONLY with your own party. Sharing tables is uncommon nowadays...and you can request a table for just yourselves.

A ship is so large, you really don't feel "confined"...it's like being at a resort hotel.

I don't think you did your homework before you created this post. To set off debate. Which hasn't happened. You said 'we are planning on doing our vows together'... unless your 'husband' and 'wife' have never had an official wedding either, there are no cruise lines registered in a country that officially permits polygamy. EM

Yes, school break time always means there are some crazy threads started.

I don't think you did your homework before you created this post. To set off debate. Which hasn't happened. You said 'we are planning on doing our vows together'... unless your 'husband' and 'wife' have never had an official wedding either, there are no cruise lines registered in a country that officially permits polygamy. EM

They may not be polygamous, but rather polyamorous. I am tending to think they are the latter since one man having two wives would be bigamy, not polygamy. Not that it matters, though. :)

They may not be polygamous, but rather polyamorous. I am tending to think they are the latter since one man having two wives would be bigamy, not polygamy. Not that it matters, though. :)

They might be polyamorous - that might have to depend on whether they love one another. But to the extent OP used the terms "husband" and "wife" they are, in fact, polygamous , which simply means having more than one spouse.

Of course this whole exercise might be the product of a bored troll, who might be unattached, meaning that neither term would apply.

Perhaps OP has been binging too many "Sister Wives" shows on cable.

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I would love for them to go on the trip without me and have a fantastic time! My husband will not do it. He absolutely will not go without me even with my insistence. My wife is too excited about it for me to break her heart by not going. I am only looking for how to cope. If not going was an option, I would simply not go.

I would think, in a truly loving relationship, each party would allow the other(s) to do what was comfortable for them, and not draw a line in the sand, such as "I won't go, if you don't".

If A, B & C are in a truly loving relationship, and A is just dying to take a cruise, and B just feels it isn't possible, and C says "I won't go, if B doesn't go", there's no true sympathy for each other.

And they have bigger problems than just "let's take a cruise".

What relationship is perfect?

C is trying to be supportive of B. B doesn't want to disappoint A. We haven't heard what A's response is because B doesn't want to put A in that position.

Maybe a conversation could have them come to a compromise, but B loves A enough that she wants to suck it up.

Love can be complicated. Out of all the families you've seen, can you honestly say this relationship is really all that messed up simply because B doesn't want to disappoint A?

Is it possible to be both claustrophobic AND agoraphobic???

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