Do any of you parents out their feel guilty about your cruise?

Save your guilt for when you do something illegal or immoral. You have earned your lifestyle. Your adult children will earn their lifestyle, whatever it may be. When they reach the age you are now, they will have the standard of living that they have earned.

Just know sometimes there are mitigating circumstances sometimes. We have a child and their child has ongoing critical illnesses. Their “standard of living and lifestyle” isn’t what their salaries would indicate since there’s some out of pocket with the grandchild. That’s why we pay for all every other year and we all have a trip together. Otherwise, they likely couldn’t go.

Enjoy your “honeymoon.” You will love it! My DH and I have been married over 40 years (we got married very young:)) and still love every moment we get to be together just the two of us....and we love being empty nesters!!!:hearteyes:

We also got married very young. I was 16 to be exact. We absolutely cherish every moment together as well. I am so looking forward to the empty nest !!! Lol. Love my kids big but that man I married still makes my heart flutter after all these years. I absolutely can’t wait to take this vacation with him. I am afraid it will start something and we are gonna be doing this often lol. I do have adult children that my 13 year old can stay with while we are gone. Lol ;p It’s nice to know you all still are happy after 40 years!!!

Save your guilt for when you do something illegal or immoral. You have earned your lifestyle. Your adult children will earn their lifestyle, whatever it may be. When they reach the age you are now, they will have the standard of living that they have earned.

Right ON...so well said!!!!! Just as our parents gave us our wings to fly, we need to let our children fly as high as they can. They, like us, will then appreciate their achievements:):hearteyes:

We also got married very young. I was 16 to be exact. We absolutely cherish every moment together as well. I am so looking forward to the empty nest !!! Lol. Love my kids big but that man I married still makes my heart flutter after all these years. I absolutely can’t wait to take this vacation with him. I am afraid it will start something and we are gonna be doing this often lol. I do have adult children that my 13 year old can stay with while we are gone. Lol ;p It’s nice to know you all still are happy after 40 years!!!

OMG...it’s so nice to have someone share my same feelings! I had my eye on my husband since I was 10...no joke! We did wait until we were 21 to marry, but oh how I wish we could have married sooner! He is my everything!!!:hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:

Really I’m sure that others share their happiness for you and your DH that you finally get your well deserved honeymoon...and on a cruise! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

We took ours with us when they were young.

They are delighted we still enjoy cruising. :D

Just know sometimes there are mitigating circumstances sometimes. We have a child and their child has ongoing critical illnesses. Their “standard of living and lifestyle” isn’t what their salaries would indicate since there’s some out of pocket with the grandchild. That’s why we pay for all every other year and we all have a trip together. Otherwise, they likely couldn’t go.

You are very kind and generous and your family is so fortunate to have you in their lives. I’m so sorry to hear that your grandchild has ongoing critical illnesses....all the more reason to share happy, memorable, times with your family.

Having gotten our children through college debt free - and helped a bit with home down payments - we do not feel guilty about our occasional travels — and they would be furious with us if we did. We do not travel first class - or as frequently as they urge - because we want to be sure not to become a burden to them — and hopefully leave them something with which they can indulge themselves, while their children build their own lives.

We are 31 and 32 and don't feel guilty towards our parents. Our parents can probably afford to cruise but choose other pursuits. For example, my in-laws spend over £3k on a luxury British break most years instead of going abroad which I think is nuts but each to their own.

I work hard but I am not materialistic which means my money goes on experiences and my rather cheap mortgage (we managed to buy our our house when I was 24 so we do not need to worry about saving for a deposit). My friends can keep their designer shoes and designer sunglasses. I would rather spend money elsewhere.

However, I do really feel for those of my millenial generation that cannot do this. When it comes to my parents generation, while I have no doubt many work and have worked hard theres luck involved too....that Gen X luck. Not many of my generation will be able to afford cruising so much when we get to pension age but I do realise how much my parents and other have helped out their kids. Not being too political but I felt that this point was a bit of an elephant in the room.

You are very kind and generous and your family is so fortunate to have you in their lives. I’m so sorry to hear that your grandchild has ongoing critical illnesses....all the more reason to share happy, memorable, times with your family.

All 11 of us cruises in January and we were thankful she was well and we practically had to drag her off the ship. She’d never cruised. We were so thankful all 11 of us got to go. As long as we are able, we are honored to pay for all of us to get to go together. All of us in January 2018 below. Papaw and I have six other cruises this year on our own.

NOPE!

For many years it was a trip for us & then a trip with the kids each year.

We did Disney last year. (they are 23, 20 & 17).

I found an AI in Dominica for $700 with air for 6 nights this summer...I REALLY wanted to take the kids but DD20 has an internship this summer & was already taking a week off for a leadership conference...

SOOOOOOOOO we can't take 2 & not the other, right?

SO CRUISE FOR US INSTEAD!:D:D:)YEAH! (oh, and a week in Vegas this summer too...they did whine a bit about us being gone 2 weeks...)

Travel is what we do--they know that. They, too, travel as much as they can--and we encourage it. They are more likely to visit friends (no hotel, cheaper food) & drive instead of fly, but they get to experience new (or favorite) places.

We know that once they get married & have kids that travel will be more constrained with time & $ as it was for us...such is the stages of life.

We very very very much look forward to retirement within 5 years & amping up our travel!

(have been VERY blessed that my in laws did DCL for the WHOLE family--24 with kids & grandkids! And my parents have given the family a cruise twice for Xmas--only 12 collectively there. But they knew we were heavy in kid raising then. Such memorable trips)

OMG...it’s so nice to have someone share my same feelings! I had my eye on my husband since I was 10...no joke! We did wait until we were 21 to marry, but oh how I wish we could have married sooner! He is my everything!!!:hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:

 

Really I’m sure that others share their happiness for you and your DH that you finally get your well deserved honeymoon...and on a cruise! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!![/quote

 

 

 

So neat to meet you on here !! Yup the moment I met my hubby on our first blind date I looked at my friend and said I am gonna marry him. Lol. :D Neat to know that others have had similar experiences!

Don't feel any guilt whatsoever even if our children were struggling financially.

We travel frequently but we often do not tell DW's family about it unless they ask. They live on the other side of the country from us so it is not an issue.

I don't feel guilty. My oldest is 30 and youngest is 20. 7 years ago we took our first vacation. I work hard and they do to. One has a family, one in the air force, one single. the other two are 20 and 21 and just starting out. We tend to go together when we go on a cruise. Sometimes they save and come with me, they pay their own way and once I paid. I know at some point they will be able to travel as they like as they are all hard workers but now it just doesn't work out for them $ wise. It won't hurt them if they don't get to go, heck my first vacation (besides visiting my sister) was when I was 40. I love going with them but don't feel guilty if they don't get to come, maybe a little sad though.

Not trying to be too morbid- but I know people who put off travel and going "first" class that saved for the old age and never reached it or developed dementia and couldn't enjoy it. While I am not suggesting never save and be reckless- do not deprive yourself of pleasures when you are able to enjoy those pleasures!

We had a friend who worked hard all his life, rarely left the province for a vacation, and saved up so he and his wife could take a driving vacation to Alaska in their retirement. Meanwhile, we would save up money for a trip, take it, have wonderful memories, and endure his well intentioned ribbing when we got home, saying we were wasting our retirement funds. Sadly, our friend retired and less than a year later, succumbed to cancer, never having made that trip to Alaska; a year after that, his wife died. While he was in hospital, he said "I'm glad you guys went where you did; keep on travelling together - look at me, I never went anywhere, and certainly won't now." Lesson learned. We think of him, and raise our glasses to him with every trip we take.

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

I don't feel guilty at all. They are young unmarried well employed young adults with great educations and good incomes so why should I? Lol

They still come with us most of the time anyway. I just tell them what their share will be.

And guess what? They are all girls and they all know when they get married they get a $10,000 check. Done

Do you want to know what would really make me feel guilty?

If they had huge school loans that would do it to me!!!

No loans for any of them...thanks to great scholarships and grants...and mommy and daddy who not only paid the left over tuitions...but made sure they were raised with enough smarts to get scholarships. Lol

Oh and grad school...on their own dime...and via fellowships from the university

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Just don’t do what my in laws do, which is spend their entire travel budget on cruises, leaving them no money to come and see their only grandkids!

Just don’t do what my in laws do, which is spend their entire travel budget on cruises, leaving them no money to come and see their only grandkids!

My parents were of limited means and we paid their airfare a couple of times a year to visit us. We also flew down to florida once or twice a year also.

Perhaps as a mothers/fathers/holiday/birthday gifts, you might be able to treat them.

My parents were of limited means and we paid their airfare a couple of times a year to visit us. We also flew down to florida once or twice a year also.

 

 

 

Perhaps as a mothers/fathers/holiday/birthday gifts, you might be able to treat them.

If they are spending their entire travel budget on cruises, that infers that they are choosing not to come and visit for some reason. Would they be open to your children coming and visiting them? I’m blessed that all three kids live within 20 minutes of my home. If I didn’t live where our three grands were, some of our travel budget would definitely be spent going for visits or having them come and visit me. I didn’t have grandparents alive and in my life. It’s very important to me.

Oh...here’s a good one...our daughter told us that her friends have asked her how she feels about us spending “her” inheritance on our cruises. Thank goodness she didn’t agree with them because she has seen how hard her dad has worked riding up the corporate ladder.

I’m sorry. WHY would she even repeat that story to you???

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If they are spending their entire travel budget on cruises, that infers that they are choosing not to come and visit for some reason. Would they be open to your children coming and visiting them? I’m blessed that all three kids live within 20 minutes of my home. If I didn’t live where our three grands were, some of our travel budget would definitely be spent going for visits or having them come and visit me. I didn’t have grandparents alive and in my life. It’s very important to me.

Fortunately my children also live close by, but when my parents retired they decided to spend their sunset years in a warm climate. But our kids and my sibs kids also visited them without us. Great memories for our kids. My parents were very happy to spend time with them. But we all paid for them to travel. Never wanted my parents to pay. They spent enough on us when we were kids and sacrificed much. They earned their retirement.

Not even a little bit of guilt.

This is our time to travel and spend as I please. My child may or may not have the same opportunity, dependent ofn her lifestyle. That is for her to decide.

My husband and I got to this point by living frugally, saving a lot and having zero debt and not having or wanting a lot of unnecessary items. That is our choice but grown children make their own choices.

We had a friend who worked hard all his life, rarely left the province for a vacation, and saved up so he and his wife could take a driving vacation to Alaska in their retirement. Meanwhile, we would save up money for a trip, take it, have wonderful memories, and endure his well intentioned ribbing when we got home, saying we were wasting our retirement funds. Sadly, our friend retired and less than a year later, succumbed to cancer, never having made that trip to Alaska; a year after that, his wife died. While he was in hospital, he said "I'm glad you guys went where you did; keep on travelling together - look at me, I never went anywhere, and certainly won't now." Lesson learned. We think of him, and raise our glasses to him with every trip we take.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

Amen to that we had a close friend die in her early 50's to cancer, she did live life to the full but another couple we were very close with worked without holidays waiting for retirement she got MS and even a cruise we went on together was a waste on them they did not get off the ship. Sadly she died 4 years ago with neither of them reaping retirement perks

:(

^ That is exactly the reason why we retired early and spend four or more months a year travelling to places on our bucket list! Lots of spontaneous travel. We can be packed and out the door in no time whatsoever.

Why stay home?

Why in the world should you feel guilty? I swear, I see this all the time at work. Parents on the cusp of retirement giving up and sacrificing for their GROWN children- I just don’t get it

Ditto. My mother will call me and say "I'm spending your inheritance by.." and I say GOOD FOR YOU!!! She earned it. It's not my money. I hate that parents scrimp and save after they've scrimped and saved just so their grown kids won't have to pay the dues that the parents did.

Ditto. My mother will call me and say "I'm spending your inheritance by.." and I say GOOD FOR YOU!!! She earned it. It's not my money. I hate that parents scrimp and save after they've scrimped and saved just so their grown kids won't have to pay the dues that the parents did.

Unfortunately some grown children feel “entitled “ and expect their parents to continue to support them. Fortunately my kids are the opposite. We helped our parents and they witnessed that. They learned a valuable lesson Hope our grandchildren will also be independent.