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Standards dropping or simply changing times?


AchileLauro
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On a recent cruise we joined a table for dinner one evening and when we arrived at the table there was already another family seated. The "father" of this family a man of around 35-40 was playing a game on his mobile phone when we arrived at the table, and he continued to play with his phone almost non stop through dinner even eating one handed "American style" to do so.

 

On another day and at lunch there was a young couple on an adjoining table. The lady appeared quite smartly dressed however her partner sitting opposite her was wearing a baseball cap and tee shirt with some sort of rude message across the back. He never removed his cap and he too played constantly on his phone all the time that we were in the restaurant. I then noticed that the lady had become bored with him, probably because of the lack of conversation as he was totally engrossed in his phone, and decided to pick her nails with a toothpick while sat at the table and awaiting her desert course.

 

I'm constantly being told by my children that I need to get with the times, that I'm not very tolerant of other people and that I should adopt an attitude of "different strokes for different folk".

I've suddenly realised that I've become a snob and need to adjust my attitude if little things like this annoy me. Perhaps it should be my new year resolution.

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Using phones at anything but the most informal meals is plain rude, and my 20-something kids say exactly the same, Similarly, insisting on wearing scruffy clothes in a smart environment is just plain ignorant. I'm tired of people asking on CC boards what they can get away with. You can't legislate for behaviour like phone-use, but you can for dress codes. The problem is that cruise lines rarely enforce the codes consistently. It's a shame that people who like a setting with a nice ambience don't seem to realise that what they wear and how they behave affects that ambience for others. Or, perhaps, they're oblivious to such things.

 

I share your concern, and will not apologise for it!

 

Stuart

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Hi....definitely a sign of the times this "anything goes" approach. Not my times but unfortunately as it is going more and more. It's happening all over this phone addiction...the other week we were in a "classy" restaurant and the family of four....parents and two teenage children ....were all on their individual phones....absolutely no conversation between them. Whatever was happening on their phones was of more importance than interacting with the family.... Its very very sad.... In time the only form of actual "talking" will be at a grunting level.....a level that I thought we had evolved from long ago.

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My husband and I both leave our phones on silent when we go to eat as we both like to chat while we are eating, that said, neither of us play games, use Faceache or any other social media on our phones. I do think that it is sad that more and more couples and families no longer use the dinner table to interact.

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My husband and I both leave our phones on silent when we go to eat as we both like to chat while we are eating, that said, neither of us play games, use Faceache or any other social media on our phones. I do think that it is sad that more and more couples and families no longer use the dinner table to interact.

We are exactly the same, nice table for two in select dining, lots of interaction between the two of us and indeed the waiters. Always enjoy dressing for dinner and long may it last. It is such bad manners of folk to spend dinner grunting at each other, ignoring the rest of their table and indeed their waiters while playing games on their 'phone. Ah well

Bal

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Hi AL,

 

> I've become a snob and need to adjust my attitude if little things like this annoy me.

 

No, you haven't.

 

These people are what Russians call nekulturny.

 

It's not that they don't know any better, it is because they relish being boorish louts.

 

Ira

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It isn't you at all --- am mid 50s and was told from an early age that it was just rude to read at the table when eating so it was banned. Bad enough for a couple but when you are sharing a table - just plain rude.

 

We have so many children growing up in the UK with delayed speech and language problems because no one talks to them anymore ........ a sad society when people just can't turn the phone off.

 

Am going to turn the laptop off now to spend some quality time with family now ................

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Welcome to the singlet, tattoo, and elbows on table brigade, in terms of appearance. Perhaps, we are moving to an era where men wear hats indoors, not their women. The probable reason is that they have not learnt what to do with their headgear if they take it off.

May I suggest that the Head Waiters, standing by the entrances, offer to take their hat/cap/baseball cap etc and return it on departure. Some HW training needed here I suspect.

Regards mobile phone use, they must be racking up a fine bill for someone, considering P&O's charges.

 

49 cruises 17 ships 3 liners

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I'm in my early 30s, but think playing/ texting/ using social media on your phone at the table is very bad manners! I was bought up to have good table manners (although I do have the odd slip up) and we always ate our meals at a table with our parents when we were younger. (Even now when I live on my own I still eat at a dining table).

 

However, I will admit to using my phone at the table to take a photo of the meal I'm about to eat. To me The Cruise is a special holiday and I like to record all the elements of it, including my food, so that I can capture my memories. Surely discreetly using my phone to take a picture is better than getting my larger digital camera out?!

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Did not realise things were getting that violent John :o

 

Bet you meant "They then have to tweet each other so that every one of their 1,209 friends know what they are doing".:D

 

No, I just incorporated a coarse malapropism into my rant to indicate my rejection of this type of modern digital nonsense. People poking each other at the table in the Main Dining Room is another thing we can do without.

 

Incidentally my daughter told me once on a Cunard cruise that the man next to her had punched her at the dinner table. It turned out he was a footballer and he had fist pumped her in the upper arm in a matey way during conversation, as they do. So all went well in the end and she was friendly with the guy and his wife. I do not tend to immediately over react and it all smoothed over.

 

Lol John

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I'm in my early 30s, but think playing/ texting/ using social media on your phone at the table is very bad manners! I was bought up to have good table manners (although I do have the odd slip up) and we always ate our meals at a table with our parents when we were younger. (Even now when I live on my own I still eat at a dining table).

 

However, I will admit to using my phone at the table to take a photo of the meal I'm about to eat. To me The Cruise is a special holiday and I like to record all the elements of it, including my food, so that I can capture my memories. Surely discreetly using my phone to take a picture is better than getting my larger digital camera out?!

 

Maz I fully appreciate what you say about using the camera facility on your phone on occasion and can even understand if guests sitting around the dinner table share photographs that they have taken with fellow diners.

For myself when I embark on a cruise my phone is switched off and is one of the first things to go in the safe only to come out at ports of call and carried for emergency use only.

 

I suppose it indicates manners of a sort and that we should be grateful that the young lady picking her nails at the dinning table was using a toothpick and not one of the forks off the table. LOL.

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Did not realise things were getting that violent John :o

 

Bet you meant "They then have to tweet each other so that every one of their 1,209 friends know what they are doing".

Twatter is often used now in place of Twitter. I first heard it on tv a couple of years ago when watching Paul O'Grady but since then it seems to have become the accepted alternative name for Twitter. ;):rolleyes:

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Did not realise things were getting that violent John :o

 

Bet you meant "They then have to tweet each other so that every one of their 1,209 friends know what they are doing".:D

 

It was no less than David Cameron who said “too many twits make a twat”

 

He did apologise though.

 

David.

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I don’t think many would argue that cruise standards have not fallen, and the longer ago that they took their first the more the falling would be.

 

David

 

Could price also have bearing?

A like for like price of a Caribbean cruise is over £400.00 per couple cheaper today than in 1994.

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Perhaps it’s to do with expectation. I’m fairly new to cruising but to me it’s just a holiday in a hotel that floats. I don’t expect anything other than that.

So no dress codes, set dining times etc., just a bog standard hotel with a new destination every day.

 

I can appreciate that things were different in the old days, much along the lines of dressing up to go on a plane.

 

I’m sure there’s room for all of us to rub along together.

 

Don’t worry, I’ve just forked out £25 on a black suit so I won’t stand out on formal night.

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I find it difficult not to agree with both sides of the formal dress code argument on cruises, especially P&O, however I agree that I do tend to be ambivalent on a number of contentious issues.

Personally I now like wearing a dinner jacket, although initially I thought it to be a bit too fussy, now however I like the look it portrays, so my advice to new cruisers would be to try it, you may also be surprised at how it makes you feel.

As regards perceived bad manners at the dining table, I think these tend to reflect the modern day relaxed attitude of parenting, each generation tends to believe that the younger ones are less polite and have worse manners. I well remember the comments about that awful rock n' roll music and those terrible drainpipe trousers and those weird DA hair dos.

But we survived it, and were none the worse for the experience, and I imagine today's younger generation will have similar views about deteriorating standards as they become the older generation.

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But we survived it, and were none the worse for the experience, and I imagine today's younger generation will have similar views about deteriorating standards as they become the older generation.

 

 

I agree, I’m only 49 but already find myself recounting how things were! I think the younger generation will have some regrets when they all get RSI though [emoji12]

 

Many passengers irritate me, they come in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages and all have one thing in common - a general lack of etiquette and manners. They might lick their fingers at the buffet, not wash hands, show off at every opportunity, queue jump, go on a trip and cough until the whole coach is infected, hog sun-beds or theatre seats, act like twits in the laundrette, jump in the pool fully clothed, smoke on their balcony, be selfish about lifts, have sex in the lift (I’m only jealous), be rude to staff, have no compassion ... the list goes on.

 

I think it’s got worse these last few years, I certainly don’t remember feeling so allergic to other passengers ten years ago - maybe I’m just getting intolerant [emoji849]

 

As someone once said cruises would be fantastic if it wasn’t for the passengers!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

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I agree, I’m only 49 but already find myself recounting how things were! I think the younger generation will have some regrets when they all get RSI though [emoji12]

 

Many passengers irritate me, they come in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages and all have one thing in common - a general lack of etiquette and manners. They might lick their fingers at the buffet, not wash hands, show off at every opportunity, queue jump, go on a trip and cough until the whole coach is infected, hog sun-beds or theatre seats, act like twits in the laundrette, jump in the pool fully clothed, smoke on their balcony, be selfish about lifts, have sex in the lift (I’m only jealous), be rude to staff, have no compassion ... the list goes on.

 

I think it’s got worse these last few years, I certainly don’t remember feeling so allergic to other passengers ten years ago - maybe I’m just getting intolerant [emoji849]

 

As someone once said cruises would be fantastic if it wasn’t for the passengers!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

To be honest, the things that annoy you about passengers sums up what annoys me about some elements of society generally --- and I'm not that much older than you, despite me now beginning to sound like my late mum when she was in her 80s!

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Twatter is often used now in place of Twitter. I first heard it on tv a couple of years ago when watching Paul O'Grady but since then it seems to have become the accepted alternative name for Twitter. ;):rolleyes:

 

 

 

In the US that word is a coarse name for a female body part. I'd be careful using it in mixed company.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

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I agree, I’m only 49 but already find myself recounting how things were! I think the younger generation will have some regrets when they all get RSI though [emoji12]

 

Many passengers irritate me, they come in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages and all have one thing in common - a general lack of etiquette and manners. They might lick their fingers at the buffet, not wash hands, show off at every opportunity, queue jump, go on a trip and cough until the whole coach is infected, hog sun-beds or theatre seats, act like twits in the laundrette, jump in the pool fully clothed, smoke on their balcony, be selfish about lifts, have sex in the lift (I’m only jealous), be rude to staff, have no compassion ... the list goes on.

 

I think it’s got worse these last few years, I certainly don’t remember feeling so allergic to other passengers ten years ago - maybe I’m just getting intolerant [emoji849]

 

As someone once said cruises would be fantastic if it wasn’t for the passengers!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

 

 

I agree and I’m early 50’s! I think it’s the sign of the times generally. My husband and I often laugh at couples in restaurants who stare constantly at their phones rather than each other [emoji4]

 

I’m no stranger to my phone at all and will take the odd photo of each other at the table but then we talk to each other after the photo is taken.

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I find it difficult not to agree with both sides of the formal dress code argument on cruises, especially P&O, however I agree that I do tend to be ambivalent on a number of contentious issues.

 

Personally I now like wearing a dinner jacket, although initially I thought it to be a bit too fussy, now however I like the look it portrays, so my advice to new cruisers would be to try it, you may also be surprised at how it makes you feel.

 

As regards perceived bad manners at the dining table, I think these tend to reflect the modern day relaxed attitude of parenting, each generation tends to believe that the younger ones are less polite and have worse manners. I well remember the comments about that awful rock n' roll music and those terrible drainpipe trousers and those weird DA hair dos.

 

But we survived it, and were none the worse for the experience, and I imagine today's younger generation will have similar views about deteriorating standards as they become the older generation.

 

 

 

All good points John [emoji4]

 

I’m sure nearly 100% of people will need glasses earlier due to how bright all the screens are, I’m always turning the brightness down on these devices!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

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