Would you defend the waitstaff? How?

Another thread inspired me to ask. Scenario: Dining Room, tablemates that were assigned to sit with you. One (or more) of these people decides to be rude, demanding and demeaning to the waitstaff. How would you as a kind, human being react and what would you say to the get the arrogant guest to shut up, leave or be respectful? Would you also say something encouraging to your waitstaff?

If I was seated with people like that, I would leave the table and speak to the staff and ask for a new seating assignment going forward. I would not intervene on behalf of the staff, and I wouldn't call someone out I don't know on something like that. The staff is professional and has a stable leadership system. If I had a customer mistreating a member of my staff, I would never expect a fellow customer to intervene on my staff members behalf. That's not the customer's responsibility, it's mine. If the guest was being abusive, it's up to RCI to deal with it, not their paying customers.

We were sitted at a table with a wife that could make a sailor blush. She belittled the waiter with her vocabulary complaining about everything from her fork to the ice in her water glass. By night two the rest of the table could take no more. We complained to the matri’d and the next night they were sitting alone at a table for two with a different waiter.

There are so many parameters that would come into effect for me to make a decision. Exactly how the table mate was rude. What happened to cause it or if nothing happened to cause it. My relationship to that table mate.

I would probably address it indirectly by starting a new subject along the lines of have you ever thought of how tough their job is here? In about four hours time they serve something like 2000 people in two seatings. This is also not their only job, I saw this man working at afternoon tea earlier today and that man was serving burgers on the lido this afternoon. Did you hear they also work seven days a week without a single day off and pretty much only work for tips? Hopefully some introspection would kick in and the person would feel like a heel.

I would simply get up and leave.

On our second Celebrity cruise in 2002 we chose open seating and on the first night we had a table of 8.

At the very start of the meal a woman seated to my left picked up a soup spoon and held it over her shoulder. The assistant waiter was pouring water and he didn't appear to see this gesture from someone who thought she was the Lady of the Manor in Downtown Abbey and went to the next table when she rudely called out, loud enough for the tables around us to turn their heads and look over. When the assistant walked back to her she scolded him saying "Do you expect me to dine with this?"

The spoon she held out was not dirty at all but did have water stains left over from washing as did my dinner knife.

She continued to complain about the poor training "these people" get and before the appetizer plates were cleared my wife and I got up excused ourselves and left, stopping at the podium where a head waiter was stationed. We explained to him that the silverware was not dirty and we changed to a two top for the rest of that cruise and have never again scheduled open seating.

bosco

On our second Celebrity cruise in 2002 we chose open seating and on the first night we had a table of 8.

 

At the very start of the meal a woman seated to my left picked up a soup spoon and held it over her shoulder. The assistant waiter was pouring water and he didn't appear to see this gesture from someone who thought she was the Lady of the Manor in Downtown Abbey and went to the next table when she rudely called out, loud enough for the tables around us to turn their heads and look over. When the assistant walked back to her she scolded him saying "Do you expect me to dine with this?"

 

The spoon she held out was not dirty at all but did have water stains left over from washing as did my dinner knife.

 

She continued to complain about the poor training "these people" get and before the appetizer plates were cleared my wife and I got up excused ourselves and left, stopping at the podium where a head waiter was stationed. We explained to him that the silverware was not dirty and we changed to a two top for the rest of that cruise and have never again scheduled open seating.

 

bosco

Dinner and entertainment. I am not sure I could give that table up. What happens next.

If I was seated with people like that, I would leave the table and speak to the staff and ask for a new seating assignment going forward. I would not intervene on behalf of the staff, and I wouldn't call someone out I don't know on something like that. The staff is professional and has a stable leadership system. If I had a customer mistreating a member of my staff, I would never expect a fellow customer to intervene on my staff members behalf. That's not the customer's responsibility, it's mine. If the guest was being abusive, it's up to RCI to deal with it, not their paying customers.

We always get a table for 2 but if we were put on a table with people like that I would make sure I avoided sitting with them again.

Watched a grumpy old man berate the staff at the deli counter of my local grocery store because he was not waited on in what he felt was a timely manner. I did what I would do in the situation mentioned above - made sure that their boss knew that they did nothing wrong. A complaint on the RC survey could cost the waiter his job so I would make sure that the waiter's innocence was known.

Another thread inspired me to ask. Scenario: Dining Room, tablemates that were assigned to sit with you. One (or more) of these people decides to be rude, demanding and demeaning to the waitstaff. How would you as a kind, human being react and what would you say to the get the arrogant guest to shut up, leave or be respectful? Would you also say something encouraging to your waitstaff?

I would set an example by being the kind human being. The waiters are very smart and they will get the picture pretty quick, they deal with this all the time.

I would be very vocal and defend the staff. I am not silent in the face of injustice.

I would be very vocal and defend the staff. I am not silent in the face of injustice.

Sometimes helping isn't helping. In doing so, you have now potentially given an irrational person another perceived target for his or her ire. This rarely helps to calm the situation.

The only think I would do is to tell the server that they were doing a great job and to ignore the rude diner.

If I was seated with people like that, I would leave the table and speak to the staff and ask for a new seating assignment going forward. I would not intervene on behalf of the staff, and I wouldn't call someone out I don't know on something like that. The staff is professional and has a stable leadership system. If I had a customer mistreating a member of my staff, I would never expect a fellow customer to intervene on my staff members behalf. That's not the customer's responsibility, it's mine. If the guest was being abusive, it's up to RCI to deal with it, not their paying customers.

Exactly. It's not the customer's responsibility. However, I would immediately go to the maitre'd and let him know the situation. I would also leave a written note at guest services so the waiter doesn't get negative repercussions. I also would request a table change as I would not want to spend my dinner each evening with these type of people.

Sometimes helping isn't helping. In doing so, you have now potentially given an irrational person another perceived target for his or her ire. This rarely helps to calm the situation.

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In 2006 on the Splendour of the Seas we were on a partial charter that the company I work for where we took about 700 people on a cruise. We were seated at a premier table like the one for the captain’s table. My wife and I were hosting our biggest customers. Fortunately, the first two nights they didn’t show up for dinner, unfortunately on the third night they did. Within 30 minutes my wife left the table in tears because of the way the drunk manager of one of their offices treated the very good waiter. I stayed thru dinner with them, and we removed ourselves from the main dining room for the rest of the cruise. It was HE Double Hockey Sticks for me. To this day if I mention this persons name to my wife she gets livid.

On the upside, it was the first cruise we were platinum, and since there were almost no important C&A members on the cruise, we befriended the staff captain at that meeting and hung out with him for the remaining evenings as he searched us out.

Avoid charters... especially your own is my standard advice.

JC

Being a big guy, am not easily intimidated so at end of dinner would prefer to just stand up, shake waiter and a/w's hands and say "thanks for a great job". Then glare at offending party and walk out. See if they have the nerve to show up for dinner the next night.

We have encountered a similar situation but rather than in the dining room it was on a private excursion.

We had joined in with a group on our roll call and the organizer of this excursion ended up being extremely condescending and rude to our driver/guide.

We interacted all during the tour with the driver/guide and let her know how we felt about this....Very sad situation and what made it worse was the rest of our group opted to say/do nothing. This was the worst experience we have ever had in joining in with a private tour group.

You never know how someone online can present themselves and then end up being so different in person :eek:

It’s not my place to change the behavior of total strangers. I would ask to be seated at another table the next night. I haven’t booked traditional set seating since the cruise lines started to offer my time dining so I would never have this issue.

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I don't know where you folks come upon people like this. I've yet to experience rudeness by anyone to the staff.....to other cruisers, maybe, because folks aren't paying attention...but never deliberate rudeness.

We've always had good tablemates, and we enjoy them! I'm sorry others haven't had such a good experience.

Like a previous poster stated, I am a big guy (former USMC, 6'4 250) so I can intimidate with my size, despite being a big pussycat inside...... But, no. I wouldn't do a thing. It isn't my place and it can only escalate the situation.

This isn't their (waiters, RC management) first rodeo. They can handle it just fine.

I don't know where you folks come upon people like this. I've yet to experience rudeness by anyone to the staff.....to other cruisers, maybe, because folks aren't paying attention...but never deliberate rudeness.

 

We've always had good tablemates, and we enjoy them! I'm sorry others haven't had such a good experience.

Congratulations! We have not been as lucky. We met a single lady who seemed very nice. So we invited her to our table only to find that she was a very abusive alcoholic. She wanted to give me one of her "free" drinks and the waiter tried to explain to her that they were not free. She got louder and louder and more and more abusive to the waiter as the meal continued. I insisted that I really did not care for her free drink and made it a point to tell the waiter what a fine job he was doing.

On another cruise, there was the young lady who went ashore, was very drunk and then seated at our table for dinner.

She proceeded to tell about her drunken adventures all the while slurring, slobbering, and using the most obscene language I had ever heard since I was in the Army. The rest of our table mates were likewise offended and everyone was happy when she finally decided to leave after complaining bitterly about the terrible food.

We enjoy good company and have met many interesting and fascinating people but have since requested a table for two rather than risk sitting with others such as this.

Sometimes helping isn't helping. In doing so, you have now potentially given an irrational person another perceived target for his or her ire. This rarely helps to calm the situation.

There's diplomatic ways of doing it and still being very vocal. I won't apologize for not being complacent.

I would absolutely stand up for the wait staff then and there. People need to understand that that kind of behavior is NOT okay. Honestly, just letting it happen and being indifferent is just as bad, IMO.

If we see dining room waitstaff being unfairly accused of something, we let the head waiter know. Example: a man was complaining that a certain waiter “needed more training” and gave the head waiter his opinion. We did not feel this was justified and told the headwaiter so when we left the dining room. Another time a waiter dropped a full coffee cup on a passenger. The waiter apologized and the passenger was very gracious. However, another waiter, while passing, had banged the arm and the tray of the first waiter. We again let the headwaiter know so that the wrong person was not blamed for something out of his control. I feel that these guys and gals work very hard and don’t need unfair criticism. Katherine