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Artemis908

How did you feel on your wedding day?

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We're approaching our 2nd year anniversary and I have been thinking back to our wedding, re-read the review I did when I got back. I feel like after watching so many tv shows and movies I had been conditioned to believe weddings are suppose to be this whimsical and romantic occasions and that when you see that other person down the aisle from you, you're suppose to have fireworks. I didn't feel that way and after going to two of my friends' weddings over the course of the past few years, I don't feel like they did either.

 

My husband and I had been together for three years at that point and living together for two of those years. In the end the wedding and the marriage just gave me a new name and a certificate. We already owned a house together and he was and still is my best friend. We both love each other and make sure we both know it every day.

 

But, when I stood at the doors with my father and peaked over to see my now husband waiting for me to come down the aisle. I wasn't really flooded with emotion, though my dad was crying which almost got me started. :P And when we said our vows and took our first day, I mostly felt uncomfortable to have everyone staring at me. I honestly just wanted to have fun and be with my husband and our friends. In fact, my fondest memories are of the night before when the two of us did karaoke with about 12 of our closest friends. It was probably the most fun I had my entire life and the last time we were all together.

 

Right after we got married, I did feel like I wish we had eloped. I loved my wedding, don't get me wrong and I especially loved planning it. But I think I would have had more fun running to Vegas with those 12 close friends, spending the money on a big suite for all of us, and getting married by Elvis. Problem was our families would have been pissed, so that wasn't really an option.

 

I don't know though if I could have done anything to get myself more in that romantic state of mind on the wedding day. Maybe if I had gone a week without seeing him, but I don't even know if that would have been possible.

 

Feeling this way made me feel guilty, like my wedding, my relationship, my marriage wasn't good enough. But I think I've realized that it's not me, it's what we've been conditioned to think. I am sure some couples are fortunate to have these whimsical moments and weddings, and it was or will be the most romantic days of their lives and they'll sweep each other off their feet. But I think for some of us, it wasn't or won't be like that, but that doesn't make our wedding days any less important or special. It's okay if it's not a movie moment.

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I think you are right that it has more to do with the expectations of what is supposed to happen and how we are supposed to feel. These expectations can hinder our ability to just be in the moment. Nobody can tell you how to feel.

 

While reading your story, I was moved by the complete sense of connection you have to your husband. It sounds like you share common goals and ideals as well as a wonderful sense of fun. Take pride in and appreciate that you have something that is more lasting than the fleeting romantic notions we see in movies.

 

I also share your feelings about everyone watching you. I have to remind myself that they are not "watching" as much as sharing and supporting us on life's journey.

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I also share your feelings about everyone watching you. I have to remind myself that they are not "watching" as much as sharing and supporting us on life's journey.

 

 

You are totally right, especially when I look at my wedding video and can see how emotional certain people got. I would have to say the most touching moment was watching the wedding video and hearing what my MIL said to my husband. His mic was left on while he danced with her and she said she knew her mother was looking down at them from heaven and how she loved us both so much, it made me burst into tears when I watched it! I had no idea she said such wonderful things to him.

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Actually, I got very depressed in the weeks following the wedding. I did not feel like things went the way I wanted them to and actually had quite a few complaints with the way it was handled by the cruise line. Now, nearly a year later I realize that none of that matters because I get to come home to my husband every night and wake up in his arms every morning which is far more satisfying than that one day could have ever been.

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