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JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!

cruiseguys2009

By cruiseguys2009,
in Celebrity Cruises

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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The Potty

 

So after our visit with Ruxandra and a couple of her famous Bloody Mary’s, we are walking around a bit, and intended to go back to the stateroom to change, (Why we didn’t is beyond my comprehension, I certainly would have been better off, you‘ll see!) but when my coffee kicks in…....I gotta go Potty.

 

“Look” Jerome says, there’s one….Yes it is, I thought. “Nope, it’s a head on a triangle, that’s the Ladies Room, Dumb ass!”. Hmm, “Let’s just go back to the room, I think I can make it’, I said knowing full well that my coffee was kicking in, you know the feeling, right? “Over here” Jerome says and I head on over to the Port or Starboard….(whatever side) and look up at the sign and say “Yep, sure ‘nuf, It’s The Boy’s Room.”

 

Okay, so I go in the bathroom and I am totally confused. There are three sinks and a locked door. Nor urinals, no potty’s. Just three sinks and a locked door. I try the door so it’s locked. Great. I gotta go! Coffee kicking in. I start pacing back and forth, back and forth. I hear nothing coming from the other side of the locked door, so I knock on the door. Tap, Tap Tap, “Hello? Anybody Home?” Tap,Tap, “Hello?” No answer. I gotta go, Dagnabit!

 

Jerome, I guess heard me knocking and, comes in and says “JW, What are you doing?” (He says that a lot to me!) and I said, “I have been waiting and waiting for this person to finish and come out of the potty and they won’t even acknowledge me.” Jerome looks at me sternly and says “JW are you for real?” “That’s a Handicap toilet.” “You have to press the button on the wall and the door will open.” “If someone was in there that red light would be on”. “Now press the button and hurry up!” I felt like a true dumb ass. Oh, am I a big boob!

 

Okay, Press away I did and the door magically flung open! Tra, La, la, la, la,, Follow the Yellow Brick Road, to Oz I go! So, I tried and tried to close the door but it would not budge. Jerome came back in the bathroom and said “I thought you would be having trouble, JW“. “You have to press the button on the inside to close the door!” “”Oh”, I said with a giggle. I know I have that “Pouting Stupid Me” face going right about now, ‘cause I saw myself in the mirror.

 

As they say in Murano, “Voila” the door started to close, but only half way. I gotta Go! Coffee HAS kicked in! I could have been back to the room by now! I press the button again and it opens and then press it again and nothing. Press it once more and it finally! The door takes it’s gosh dang time to close. COMMON! Whew. Finally. Coffee Kicking in, gotta go, NOW! Get my pants down, sit on the teenie tiny potty (anyone else think that its really tiny and you gotta “tuck” everything in it?)

 

Oh Joy! Success, so here I am, going potty and all the sudden I hear “CLICK”, and the door swings wide open! And there I am on the potty in full view to the whole wide world! This man in a wheelchair came in the bathroom by pushing the button on the outside main door and it swung open and had not closed yet,. Consequently, he pushed the button to the potty and THAT door swung open. JW IS ON THE POTTY AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WALKING BY LOOKING! Oh My Gawd!

 

Mortified is not the word! The poor guy in the wheelchair, well I thought he was just about going to have a heart attack. Jerome is outside laughing hysterically and pointing to everyone passing by saying “Look at that!” “JW you are supposed to LOCK the door!” I shout out from the potty….”OH Yeah? Well I thought it was locked, and I thought it did it automatically!” “Jerome, You said a red light would come on!” By this time I had drawn a crowd with cameras. Cameras! Go Away! “Yes,” Jerome continued, “You press the Lock Button on the wall!” And what made matters worse, the guy in the wheelchair pointed to it then caressed it like he was one of those Price Is Right Models showing off a Brand New Oven control! Geez, All this can be yours If The Potty is Right!

 

“People, can we please continue this show at another time?” I shouted. I am so embarrassed. The man in the wheelchair backed up and the doors closed, needless to say, I did NOT get up to lock the door, and if you know why, even better. I finished my business, washed my hands and then looked at the Lock/Unlock button again. I pressed it Lock, and the red light came on. Unlock, the light went off. I did this a couple of times until I heard the guy in the wheelchair say, “Glad we got that all straightened out!” “Can I please use the facility now?”

 

If any of you have that picture of me on the potty, Ha, Ha, Ha. I get the last laugh. I don’t think the guidelines will allow you to post it.

 

Note to Self: Always Press the Lock Button and make sure the Little Red Light is on.

 

What a way to start the day!

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pxy cda

pxy cda

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Stop the madness. Too funny! I think I peed a little......(in sympathy for sure)

 

Your are HILAR!

 

Cant wait to meet you on Eclipse (I am a hat lady in training:)! Only I have no `work` done - I am an all natural D cup! Order me a cosmo and we will connect, CLINK! and be besties).

 

Ran and Jerome (aka the quiet rational ones) can smirk at us and share their derisive stories while we have 123 - - FUN!!!!!

 

Cant wait for the next installment......

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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Whew, glad that ordeal was finally over, Geez! Jerome and I made our way back up the elevator, “Look at that Tree! How does it get water?” and tromped to our stateroom. Magically our stateroom had been transformed into a setting as if we just arrived yesterday! Corazon and Edmond (I learned his name today, he is Corazon’s amazing Assistant)) restored our stateroom back to as if we had never slept in it! And they DID remake the bed that I already made…..“Well!”

 

Jerome and I changed to our “Deck Wear” outfits for the day and grabbed our sun tan lotions and potions and proceeded to go on deck. It was around 11 AM and we thought that there would be a deck chair for us…..somewhere…..WE THOUGHT WRONG!

 

Up on Deck 14, we entered the pool deck and Oh My! It was like a Roman Orgy of writhing greasy bodies milling everywhere. Honey, I am no prize to look at but really, this was a sight for sore eyes. “Oh My Gawd!” “Jerome, There’s Hat Lady at the Pool Bar!” “Don’t Look!” “Keep walking,,,,,Did She see us?" "OH YOOOO HOOOO! OH BOYS! YOU HOO JAYDOUBLEYOU HOO!!!!” She SAW US! Frick-en-Frack. “Why Hellooo Miss Missy” Jerome says, his classic line. Out of my pie hole came “Good morning my loveliness, how art thou?” “Trolling for Pool Boys?” I said. Hat Lady goes, “Honey, turn around and look in the pool.” “There in not a single one I would let see my tata’s”. (She just let half the boat see them last night at the Martini Bar!) I turned around and looked in the pool and it was a sea of Manatees. The water was VERY cloudy, which is a big Uh Oh, and there were about 50 “Man’s” and Lots of “Tee Tee’s” in the pool, hence the phrase Man-a -Tee (Tee).

 

“Honey, this is Roger. Roger, these are my very good friends. What did you say your name’s were again?” (Hmm very good firends indeed) Jerome and I said hello to Roger. Roger was a handsome, rugged, sexy man with black, wavy hair and gorgeous eyes beyond those dark sunglasses he always wore. Roger turned out to be the Best of the Best of Pool Service Bar Attendants and always kept our hands full with a new glass of champagne for me or beer for Jerome. Roger is gorgeous and hails from Colombia. I loved Roger. More on him later. Hat Lady called him “Yummy”. Okay, I did too. I might have coined that name for him first and then she may have picked up on it. Okay, I called him Yummy right off, and Jerome got mad at me, so every day after, Hat Lady called him Yummy for my benefit. There, truth be told.

 

Roger got me a glass of champagne and Jerome a Bud Light and we chatted with Hat Lady for a few, then Hat Lady left her bar stool at the Pool Bar and went to her Cushioned Chaise Lounge that sits front and center at the Pool Bar and I asked, “What time did you get out here this morning to get this choice spot.?” She said “Seven”. I said “Seven?” She said, “Yes, and then the whole place filled up with Chair Hogs!” We laughed and then as we stood there for a moment taking in the atmosphere, I drinking my champagne and Jerome his beer. Then as were watching Hat Lady basking in the sun, Nelson brought a whole big champagne ice bucket filled with ice and delivered it to Hat Lady, I said “Where’s The Champagne? As the bucket was just filled with ice.” Hat Lady replied “It’s not for champagne, it’s for me!” "???" She then picked up the bucket and dumped the entire bucket of ice all over her and squirmed all over the cushion like Joey Heatherton used to do for the Serta Mattress Commercials in the 1970’s……"OOOHING and AHHING!!!" Did that just happen? ”Jerome, let’s go!” “Buh Bye Now!” After saying our good byes, we began to look for a place to lay out. “Oh My Gawd, is she for real?” I kept looking back and she was STILL squirming…..Oh MY!

 

"Perfect Serta Sleeper, Have a Serta Night For Me"! Oh Baby!

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librarylady19

librarylady19

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OMG....keep it coming JW. My brain hurts from working on the library budget today so it is wonderful to read more of your exploits.

 

Well all of ya's need to re-book with us and JW on the Nov 16 th sailing! It was supposed to be the CC Celebrity Group Cruise date, remember!

 

We can't wait to get on Reflection after reading Sandi's review and now JW's. life has gotten in the way and our last time on X was Dec 2000, we are glad to read that the standards have not lowered like we found on Princess last yr.

 

Type on JW, but don't hit the post button till I get back from TINKLING :D

 

Hmmm,....very tempting! That actually works well with our work schedule. Must consider.

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wallie5446

wallie5446

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No more mentions of tinkling! I am running out of alcohol!! :D

Chris, we are going to have to find a way to send ya some Black Crack! It is a stout aged in whiskey barrels for 12 months, oh my :) is it great. Oh, I'm sorry, it is a Texas brew:D

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wallie5446

wallie5446

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OMG....keep it coming JW. My brain hurts from working on the library budget today so it is wonderful to read more of your exploits.

 

 

 

Hmmm,....very tempting! That actually works well with our work schedule. Must consider.

Don't dally, hesitate, dawdle! Remember, think long think wrong :D

It would be such a cool week to go to a Meet an Mingle with some of the royalty of current day CC.

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akowilm

akowilm

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Jerome and I arrived at the Murano desk promptly at 8:30 PM and were greeted, most professionally, and whisked to our table. Which was one of the special tables on the Quilted Rotunda. That’s what I call the round furniture piece in the center of the restaurant.

 

We were greeted table side by a multitude of servers, with water, bread, a wine list, a Sommelier, many other hello’s and then, like Moses Parting the Red Sea, our Head Waiter appeared. He introduced himself as Ram… “Hello Ram!” (My little Random Access Memory!) He is gorgeous. But so very Professional and I had my Grown up Pants on tonight so I behaved!

 

Jerome and I were celebrating our Anniversary tonight as well, so we chose as entrees, the Warm Water Lobster Tail and The Chateaubriand for Two. We also chose several glasses of wine, and, as we were on the 1,2,3, Drunk package, the Sommelier was most helpful in keeping our glasses full. And by the way, you have not lived until you have red wine out of these brilliant, astonishing crystal goblets they have in Murano, exclusively, that take up your whole face when you delve into a sip of phenomenal Red Zinfandel or Pino Noir.

 

Oh my gosh, you would have thought that a Ballet had started. Ram had five tables, each in a different level of service at the time were seated. All one needs is a Ballet Score, Violins and and Orchestra, and Voila, as they say in Murano, he was tip toe-ing from table to table, so gracefully and beautifully. From the presentation of Hor d’ourves, to Appetizers to preparing table side our succulent entrees, Ram provided us a Masterful Performance. A performance that is equal to that of something from New York or Milan or Barcelona. Ram made our night, along with our dinner being extraordinary. So much so,, that in all the world where Jerome and I have eaten, our Dinner in Murano ranks in the TOP FIVE, WORLD WIDE. And knocked Le Bernadine in Manhattan to number six. That’s how good it really was.

 

Ram made the experience completely. I highly recommend that you request Ram to exhibit his talents for you. Ttalents from an industry that is fast becoming irrelevant and perhaps obsolete. What an amazing and passionate young man. What skill and determination. Such admiration and attention to a Guest’s satisfaction. Not only to mine, but I watched intently as he pleased every Guest in his station, as part of his Ballet. Request Ram! You will see what I am talking about. Enjoy!

 

We had Ram on night 2 and night 6, and the meticulous detail in which he served us our tableside dishes was AMAZING! I even ordered the same dessert both nights just to watch his preparation!

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akowilm

akowilm

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JW, you sure have the descriptive vein running deep in you. I now have a picture of a tightly lifted very tanned senior lady, with a hat, flashing her "Bought In America" D-cup boobs. I can't even close my eyes to get away from it...its burned forever in my mind. ROFL

 

 

I was there! He describes her to a 'T'!!! She would also hang out at the pool bar in the late afternoon, half drunk with boobies popping out everywhere! Hilarious!

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4cats4me "Live from...." Rare

4cats4me

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I am truly LOL'ing tonight reading this review. The whole bathroom scene hits home as I too was clowned two weeks ago on the Equinox :eek: when I didn't lock the door; only, in my case the lady who opened it on me decided to come into my stall while i was in the middle of business, and proceed to give me a tutorial while I was indisposed:D

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cazzi

cazzi

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I am truly LOL'ing tonight reading this review. The whole bathroom scene hits home as I too was clowned two weeks ago on the Equinox :eek: when I didn't lock the door; only, in my case the lady who opened it on me decided to come into my stall while i was in the middle of business, and proceed to give me a tutorial while I was indisposed:D

 

We sailed on Equinox in march, thank god there was a bathroom attendant that helped me out. At first I was like JW I couldn't figure the darn thing out until she showed me (felt kinda ditzy at that moment) yes I'm blond as well so that didn't help :D. JW loving the review I have some great mental pictures in my head of you descriptions of the hat lady lol

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RoonilWazlib

RoonilWazlib

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Your bathroom story is the second one I've heard of troubles with those doors (the other person got locked inside). I am terrified of these bathrooms now!! Are all the public ones like that?

 

I'm leaving tomorrow, hopefully I will NOT bring home a traumatic Silhouette bathroom story!!

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