JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!

[Illinisue]

I've read since the beginning and JW, you are fabulous! Love the YouTube video...so well done. My only disappointment is that we will be on the Reflection in November, but the week after you. We just hope there's enough vodka for your cruise and ours!

[VirginiaNoles]

Oh Jayyyy Dubbbbyouuuu....we are waiting for the rest of the review. First thing I did after dinner was fix a cocktail and get on CC. Your storytelling is my Internet "crack". Not bad for a Cane (from a Nole).

 

Cheers!

Peter

[cruiseguys2009]

Saint Martin Pics: Told you I had to wait for Jerome! So now I have to backtrack, as I am going to do St Martin first, then San Juan.....

 

Here we go, only 5 per post.....

 

 

This is on the Boardwalk in Phillipsburg, and you see right in the center is St. Martin De Poures Catholic Church. It's a quaint Island Catholic Church but there are Church Ladies there too, and if you go and try to take a picture, they will try to solicit money from you....don't give them the money, take the picture. The money they collect is for "Their" Personal Charity and does not go to the church.

 

You can also see the various properties begin to set up their beach chairs for the Hawkers to sell.....

 

 

 

 

 

This is a shot taken from the beach looking at the "Blue Bitch Bar". It's the building with the red angled roof.

 

 

 

This is the Luxurious Haddon House Hotel, which is where Jerome and I have rented the chairs and umbrellas from the Australian God's and also you can tap into their free wi-fi from the bar and lounge. Great Showers and Bathrooms.

 

 

 

The Blue Bitch Bar, The Place To Chill When You're In Heat! Meow!

 

 

 

I've had one already, look how crossed my eyes are. One I am happy and two I am naked! Get me to the boat!

 

[joyhannah]

This is the best review ever!!!! so much fun. I will be on this boat 11/16

when will you be there? Thank you so much for sharing

Joy

[FRMPEI]

then all of the sudden waking me from my slumber “YOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!’’ “Jay Double Yoooo HOOOOO!” Cripes, it’s Hat lady!

 

Jerome says to me “Oh, here we go!”

 

LOL! Can't wait for the followup on this.

"Jay Double Yoooo HOOOOO" would make for a great screen name on CC.

 

Extremely enjoyed your video. Well Done!

 

Regards,

Kevin Reid

[cruiseguys2009]

This is the entertainment in front of the Blue Bitch Bar overlooking the Boardwalk and Beach. Truly a Lazy Man/Woman's day.

 

 

 

LIPSTICK!!!! And no, I don't get a commission for mentioning them. I personally recommend them because they have taken care of me for over 20 years. They are fabulous!

 

 

 

Here is Miss Mavis' Pink Christmas Tree at Lipstick. And ya'all know how much I love Christmas! If you go before I do, just tell her that you saw the tree on Cruise Critic!

 

 

 

Now, I did forget to tell you about one other "Special Store"! This Guy at Whiskey Paradise has the best prices for Single Malt Aged Scotch, The Blue, Green, Red, Black and Gold kind, and some of the greatest, most rare bottles you can imagine. If you are a "Whiskey-ite", and for some that's a Religion, in and of itself, this is a place you want to stop in at. It's also on Front Street, towards the Court House. Great selection of authentic Cuban Cigars, which of course, are illegal to bring back home to the USA, but not illegal to smoke on international waters.

 

 

 

Ahhh, we Love Saint Martin! Topless women Drink For Free....Hey, somebody ought to tell them that EVERYONE drinks for free with their clothes on, if they are part of the 1,2,3, Drunk Promo!

 

[cruiseguys2009]

This is the best review ever!!!! so much fun. I will be on this boat 11/16

when will you be there? Thank you so much for sharing

Joy

 

 

You are sailing with Jerome and I! Join our roll call!!!!!!

[cruiseguys2009]

Luxury Chaise Lounges at Haddon House Beach...

 

 

 

St Martin De Poures Catholic Church. Boy did the Church Lady get mad at me when I put the money in the Poor Box and not in her pocket!

 

 

 

Bottles are Two Bucks......still, two bucks?

 

[cruiseguys2009]

Now Onto San Juan......

 

 

"Martini's Make My Clothes Fall Off" Tee Shirt and My Baby...The Reflection! in the Port of San Juan.

 

 

 

San Juan Old City/Towne from our Balcony...

 

 

 

What's New Old San Juan?????? I am like Evita Peron on the Steps! Hola!

 

 

MEGA MARSHALL'S! SAN JUAN!!!!!

 

 

 

The beautiful Park at the back end of the Cathedral. Gorgeous. I felt I was in Europe, not in the USA and on an Island.

 

[cruiseguys2009]

Wherever you go, whatever you do, there will always be a Walgreen's at the corner of Happy and Healthy.

 

 

 

Cathedral Spire

 

 

The Door that Jerome got locked out of

 

 

 

 

 

The magnificent San Juan Cathedral. Breathtaking!

 

 

 

 

Cathedral Kitty!

 

[cruiseguys2009]

Now can I please get back to my review and finish my Martini!

 

[wallie5446]

Yes::D

[librarylady19]

I knew the safe had been moved to over the frig from the Solstice configuration but I think I noticed two other differences. Does the closet go all the way to the floor on the left where there used to be the three shelves and didn't there used to be 4 drawers next to the frig? (In the video he mentioned only 3)

 

Yes, 4 drawers on earlier ships (not sure about Silhouette). Here's a pic from Eclipse:

 

 

And Reflection.

 

 

How come I never saw that Spree brochure before!!

[pxy cda]

Now Onto San Juan......

 

 

"Martini's Make My Clothes Fall Off" Tee Shirt and My Baby...The Reflection! in the Port of San Juan.

 

 

 

The beautiful Park at the back end of the Cathedral. Gorgeous. I felt I was in Europe, not in the USA and on an Island.

 

 

JW - if you ever cruise out of SJ, stay at El Convento - its the yellow building to the right in this picture - its an old convent and is now a gorgeous boutique hotel - we had a fabulous stay with a Juliet balcony overlooking this square. It is a great port to stay for a night or two prior to sail.;)

[cruiseguys2009]

“YOUUUUU HOOOOO!” “JayDoubleYooooo HOOOO!”

 

Jerome says “Oh here we go” “Oh Lordy, Here She Comes” I say to Jerome (With my eyes camouflaged behind my sunglasses). “She woke me up!” ‘I was sound asleep and this Bi…” Jerome interrupted, saying “JW” “Be Nice!” He continued talking as she made her way with her glass of champagne in her hand towards us….”What’s she got on?” Jerome asked, I said, the classic old lady retort ....“I dunno, but it sure needs ironing!”

 

At this point Hat Lady was upon us and her coochie was at eye level to me, winking at me. I could not move and the last thing I want to see that afternoon was an old coochie winking at me, in a saggy, satin white bikini. Her bikini top was trying to hold in the newly inserted tata's, unsuccessfully I might add. And the bottom, well, the bottom was loose as a goose! I mean, I could not reach for my cocktail as my hand would have been coochiefied. I need a good stiff one to deal with the writing of this story, pardon me while I sip on my Martini as I write this. And how amazing, MY SAVIOR, Roger, gorgeous Roger appeared…..he knew the drill, Hat Lady wanted a bucket of ice, another glass of Chandon Champagne and what ever else. I just wanted a good stiff drink as the retna of my eye was compromised because of a 73 year old coochie in my face. Gay men and coochies just don't sit well with each other. Buh!

 

“How ya doin‘ darling?” Hat Coochie, err, I mean Hat Lady asked me? “I was asleep until a few minutes ago“, I said. “You can’t sleep either on this ship?” “I mean to tell you,” as she went on and on, “I have not slept since we boarded!” “Maybe I need to drink more!" she continued with, “I just love all my Gaybies, You Guys are so much fun, and we girls get to have fun with out all the BS and Sex and stuff” “Ya Know what I mean?”

 

Ahhh, she finally shut up. She needs to go to that Twelve Step program for Over Talkers Anonymous, it’s called “And On and On and On!”

 

How can I concentrate with a coochie in my face. I had to be uncouth…“Dear”, I politely begged, “Can you please move that Vajayjay over there?”….Pointing to the other side of my chaise, “It’s blocking my sun!”

 

“Oh You!" "Jay Double You!", "Have some Champagne!” She said, “I have been drinking it since we got up this morning”. Of course she has. Does she know what a syllable is? Nelson, Gorgeous Nelson, then materialized with more Chandon and both Jerome and I needed a good stiff one after seeing that old cooter, ugh, coochie!

 

I got up to go into the pool, as Hat Lady settled into Her Chaise Lounge. Oh, the water was refreshing. Fresh Water too. That’s a first for me, a fresh water pool on a ship.

 

And speaking of Hat Lady. No one ever dared touch her lounge for the entire week. Everyone knew that this Chaise was Her Throne. So, as I was in the pool, there, Roger appeared with her standard order of a Bucket of Ice and no sooner than delivered than......Whoosh! Her signature ice pour all over her body. I heard Jerome say “Oh Lord” and I just ducked my head under the cool water of the Fresh Water Pool, and came up laughing so hard, I drank the water.

 

I came out of the refreshing pool and asked Hat Lady why she poured Ice all over herself several times each day. She replied “Honey, because what the Doctor didn’t tighten up for Ten Grand, the ICE will, …..Temporarily!” “Oh Lord”, again I heard Jerome say.

 

Personally, I have to say that from the front, Hat Lady (and we do know her real name) looked fabulous. But honey, if you wanted to tighten up something, then flip over and throw ice on your Derrière! Your bathing suit sagged down to the floor! Especially the White One. Which is the one she had on today, along with the formal night sombrero.

 

“Oh Lord” Jerome said again as she stood up to Spray Coppertone all over her body, especially the BACK side!. When she turned around, it looked like her bottom of her bathing suit had fallen out! “Oh Lord” Jerome said again, “JW, we gotta get out of here", he whispered to me.

 

“Jerome, I am hungry!” “Let’s have a late lunch in the "OV"! Our reservations for Tuscan aren’t until 8:30 tonight.” “I need something to tide me over.” “Buh Bye Now, see you at the Tini Bar tonight!” We both said as we waved goodbye to Hat Lady. “Did you see her derrière come right out of her bathing suit?” Jerome said to me. "Derriere?" I said, "What about her coochie?" I continued, "And she said she had it waxed in the Spa!" "How would you liked to have been the person who had THAT job!" We laughed all thru lunch and nearly choked on our food multiple times.

[cruiseguys2009]

Yes, 4 drawers on earlier ships (not sure about Silhouette). Here's a pic from Eclipse:

 

 

And Reflection.

 

 

How come I never saw that Spree brochure before!!

 

Either your Housekeeper did not replace it as the previous occupant took their room copy, or....as I did before, I found mine on top of the safe when we arrived in the room.

[jackdiamond]

This is the entertainment in front of the Blue Bitch Bar overlooking the Boardwalk and Beach. Truly a Lazy Man/Woman's day.

 

 

 

LIPSTICK!!!! And no, I don't get a commission for mentioning them. I personally recommend them because they have taken care of me for over 20 years. They are fabulous!

 

 

 

Here is Miss Mavis' Pink Christmas Tree at Lipstick. And ya'all know how much I love Christmas! If you go before I do, just tell her that you saw the tree on Cruise Critic!

 

 

 

Now, I did forget to tell you about one other "Special Store"! This Guy at Whiskey Paradise has the best prices for Single Malt Aged Scotch, The Blue, Green, Red, Black and Gold kind, and some of the greatest, most rare bottles you can imagine. If you are a "Whiskey-ite", and for some that's a Religion, in and of itself, this is a place you want to stop in at. It's also on Front Street, towards the Court House. Great selection of authentic Cuban Cigars, which of course, are illegal to bring back home to the USA, but not illegal to smoke on international waters.

 

 

 

Ahhh, we Love Saint Martin! Topless women Drink For Free....Hey, somebody ought to tell them that EVERYONE drinks for free with their clothes on, if they are part of the 1,2,3, Drunk Promo!

 

But, where are the topless women?

[Maligator]

Personally, I have to say that from the front, Hat Lady (and we do know her real name) looked fabulous. But honey, if you wanted to tighten up something, then flip over and throw ice on your Derrière! Your bathing suit sagged down to the floor! Especially the White One. Which is the one she had on today, along with the formal night sombrero.

 

“Oh Lord” Jerome said again as she stood up to Spray Coppertone all over her body, especially the BACK side!. When she turned around, it looked like her bottom of her bathing suit had fallen out! “Oh Lord” Jerome said again, “JW, we gotta get out of here", he whispered to me.

 

 

That being said, please do go on. And not about her droopy posterior.

[jackdiamond]

Luxury Chaise Lounges at Haddon House Beach...

 

 

 

St Martin De Poures Catholic Church. Boy did the Church Lady get mad at me when I put the money in the Poor Box and not in her pocket!

 

Who was the church lady to whom you refer? Was she a nun or someone cleaning the church?

 

Bottles are Two Bucks......still, two bucks?

 

Who was the church lady to whom you refer? Was she a nun or someone else?

[4cats4me]

“YOUUUUU HOOOOO!” “JayDoubleYooooo HOOOO!”

 

Jerome says “Oh here we go” “Oh Lordy, Here She Comes” I say to Jerome (With my eyes camouflaged behind my sunglasses). “She woke me up!” ‘I was sound asleep and this Bi…” Jerome interrupted, saying “JW” “Be Nice!” He continued talking as she made her way with her glass of champagne in her hand towards us….”What’s she got on?” Jerome asked, I said, the classic old lady retort ....“I dunno, but it sure needs ironing!”

 

At this point Hat Lady was upon us and her coochie was at eye level to me, winking at me. I could not move and the last thing I want to see that afternoon was an old coochie winking at me, in a saggy, satin white bikini. Her bikini top was trying to hold in the newly inserted tata's, unsuccessfully I might add. And the bottom, well, the bottom was loose as a goose! I mean, I could not reach for my cocktail as my hand would have been coochiefied. I need a good stiff one to deal with the writing of this story, pardon me while I sip on my Martini as I write this. And how amazing, MY SAVIOR, Roger, gorgeous Roger appeared…..he knew the drill, Hat Lady wanted a bucket of ice, another glass of Chandon Champagne and what ever else. I just wanted a good stiff drink as the retna of my eye was compromised because of a 73 year old coochie in my face. Gay men and coochies just don't sit well with each other. Buh!

 

“How ya doin‘ darling?” Hat Coochie, err, I mean Hat Lady asked me? “I was asleep until a few minutes ago“, I said. “You can’t sleep either on this ship?” “I mean to tell you,” as she went on and on, “I have not slept since we boarded!” “Maybe I need to drink more!" she continued with, “I just love all my Gaybies, You Guys are so much fun, and we girls get to have fun with out all the BS and Sex and stuff” “Ya Know what I mean?”

 

Ahhh, she finally shut up. She needs to go to that Twelve Step program for Over Talkers Anonymous, it’s called “And On and On and On!”

 

How can I concentrate with a coochie in my face. I had to be uncouth…“Dear”, I politely begged, “Can you please move that Vajayjay over there?”….Pointing to the other side of my chaise, “It’s blocking my sun!”

 

“Oh You!" "Jay Double You!", "Have some Champagne!” She said, “I have been drinking it since we got up this morning”. Of course she has. Does she know what a syllable is? Nelson, Gorgeous Nelson, then materialized with more Chandon and both Jerome and I needed a good stiff one after seeing that old cooter, ugh, coochie!

 

I got up to go into the pool, as Hat Lady settled into Her Chaise Lounge. Oh, the water was refreshing. Fresh Water too. That’s a first for me, a fresh water pool on a ship.

 

And speaking of Hat Lady. No one ever dared touch her lounge for the entire week. Everyone knew that this Chaise was Her Throne. So, as I was in the pool, there, Roger appeared with her standard order of a Bucket of Ice and no sooner than delivered than......Whoosh! Her signature ice pour all over her body. I heard Jerome say “Oh Lord” and I just ducked my head under the cool water of the Fresh Water Pool, and came up laughing so hard, I drank the water.

 

I came out of the refreshing pool and asked Hat Lady why she poured Ice all over herself several times each day. She replied “Honey, because what the Doctor didn’t tighten up for Ten Grand, the ICE will, …..Temporarily!” “Oh Lord”, again I heard Jerome say.

 

Personally, I have to say that from the front, Hat Lady (and we do know her real name) looked fabulous. But honey, if you wanted to tighten up something, then flip over and throw ice on your Derrière! Your bathing suit sagged down to the floor! Especially the White One. Which is the one she had on today, along with the formal night sombrero.

 

“Oh Lord” Jerome said again as she stood up to Spray Coppertone all over her body, especially the BACK side!. When she turned around, it looked like her bottom of her bathing suit had fallen out! “Oh Lord” Jerome said again, “JW, we gotta get out of here", he whispered to me.

 

“Jerome, I am hungry!” “Let’s have a late lunch in the "OV"! Our reservations for Tuscan aren’t until 8:30 tonight.” “I need something to tide me over.” “Buh Bye Now, see you at the Tini Bar tonight!” We both said as we waved goodbye to Hat Lady. “Did you see her derrière come right out of her bathing suit?” Jerome said to me. "Derriere?" I said, "What about her coochie?" I continued, "And she said she had it waxed in the Spa!" "How would you liked to have been the person who had THAT job!" We laughed all thru lunch and nearly choked on our food multiple times.

 

OMG I NEARLY HAD AN ASTHMA ATTACK FROM LAUGHING SO HARD:D

especially that last paragraph!

[cruiseguys2009]

I am not Saint JayDoubleYou The Evangelist, I am just JW, The Martini-ite! Now can I get back to my review?

[cruiseguys2009]

Very well stated

 

 

Thank you!

[Maligator]

On with the show!

[cruiseguys2009]

While Jerome and I were having lunch, I looked up briefly from my plate of delectible’s, and watched a guy walk into the OV. I thought to myself, “I know Him!” “Is he a movie star?” "No." "Did I date him?" “No”, "He's Straight", “But, I know him!” The guy I saw was definitely someone I knew. I pointed him out to Jerome and he seemed to know him too, but where? He could not think of it either.

 

Low and behold, I ran into him a while later, and it hit me. I looked over at him and said “What is your name?” I could tell he did not recognize me, and, OH BOY! He thought that this tired old queen was hitting on him, and before he could tell me his name, it hit me! “Your name is Paul!” “He had that look on his face, as if I was a girl he once may have known, and he could not remember if we dated or not, until I said “Paul, It’s JW!” That’s all I needed to say and, Oh My Gosh! All heck broke loose! We had not seen each other in what, almost 15 years. We had worked together for several years and what fun, on The Celebrity Reflection, to run into someone from your past (the “positive” past mind you) on a cruise ship years later. “Wow!” Imagine that. How is THAT possible? God works in mysterious ways!

[L11]

OMG, JW, your story about the Hat Lady had me laughing so hard that I scared my cat (he is now glaring at me from the floor). I had a crappy day, which you just brightened. Thank you! Wish we could go on November 16 to witness first hand the further adventures of JW and Jerome.

 

Linda