JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!

[BugsyCruiser]

Loving this review JW! You've got me in stitches here :D

[cazzi]

Love the review thanks for making my day:)

[chamima]

Yes, 4 drawers on earlier ships (not sure about Silhouette). Here's a pic from Eclipse:

 

 

And Reflection.

 

 

How come I never saw that Spree brochure before!!

 

 

 

Thanks for the picture from the Eclipse.

We'll be on her (hopefully) next year and 4 drawers divides more evenly for 2 people than 3 would. ;)

(I guess the $10 Celebrity saves on only 3 drawer slides must add up - why else would they have changed it?)

 

 

 

 

JW - Does the hat lady's first name start with S ? As I'm reading your descriptions I keep getting a sinking feeling that it's someone I'm related to? :(

[cruiseguys2009]

Thanks for the picture from the Eclipse.

We'll be on her (hopefully) next year and 4 drawers divides more evenly for 2 people than 3 would. ;)

(I guess the $10 Celebrity saves on only 3 drawer slides must add up - why else would they have changed it?)

 

 

 

 

JW - Does the hat lady's first name start with S ? As I'm reading your descriptions I keep getting a sinking feeling that it's someone I'm related to? :(

 

 

No, Hat Lady's real name starts with an "A".

[chamima]

No, Hat Lady's real name starts with an "A".

 

 

Whew! :D

[Archer0749]

I'm thinking we have all met or know a Hat Lady. Reading this reminded me of one I met in Hawaii long ago.

 

Whew! :D

[librarylady19]

Thanks for the picture from the Eclipse.

We'll be on her (hopefully) next year and 4 drawers divides more evenly for 2 people than 3 would. ;)

(I guess the $10 Celebrity saves on only 3 drawer slides must add up - why else would they have changed it?

Eclipse is a beautiful ship too!

Here's to you JW:

 

 

Here's a link to my photos from our Dec 2011 cruise if you are interested.

 

http://Http://photobucket.com/albums/j322/librarylady19/Celebrity Eclipse

[BugsyCruiser]

Eclipse is a beautiful ship too!

Here's to you JW:

 

 

Here's a link to my photos from our Dec 2011 cruise if you are interested.

 

http://Http://photobucket.com/albums/j322/librarylady19/Celebrity Eclipse

 

Sandi I was curious did you do AQ on Eclipse? I also heard the miami terminal is a lot better for boarding and disembarkation than in Fort Lauderdale?

[librarylady19]

Yes, we were in AQ 1520 - would not recommend that cabin though as it is below the treadmills in the gym (despite reports that say otherwise I can attest that there were definitely treadmills over my head :(). Blu on this ship is actually green!!!!

 

We haven't been out of FLL for a couple of years as our Eclipse and Reflection cruises were out of Miami which was definitely a breeze for both embarkation and disembarkation.

[lawblond7]

Thank you JW for a very informative, unique and hysterical review. I am loving it as are my boys (they are 16,16, & 20) my older one goes - I am on the 1,2, 3 drunk program in July (and yes he can drink as we will be in Europe) and he goes can we bring JW with us too. I was like first NO 1,2, 3 drunk for you only 1 and unfortunately I do not think JW can go with us BUT I would ask - we are doing the Baltics July 7-19th (out of Amsterdam on the Constellation) for my 50th. I will be me, my 3 boys, my partner (his first trip outside the US - other than Canada and Mexico) (YES we are the JAP jewish American princess from NJ -now VA - DAMN STRAIGHT and he is the redneck from VA - but funny thing my nice Jewish mom loves him to death - as after 10 years he has very well learned and adjusted to the country club and $1000 blazers - he loves his - lol) and of course my mom 74 (and NO HAT LADY - she is the one who will be out dancing at the club with my oldest all night and told the boys (who have asked to see a coffee shop and the red light district) that she would take them - see I am the straight up one (you know that legally blonde thing I have going on).

 

As for the 1,2, 3 Drunk promo we have that too - but see 1, 2 and I will be on the floor or dancing on tables as I do not drink very often - you know that type A personality that ALWAYS needs to be in control - but I am so looking forward to two (2) weeks OUT OF THE COUNTRY with no work computer (you know those damn pesky export rules) :D so I will actually get to relax. See my twin boys have already founf they could legally have a drink in many of the countries we are going to but especially Russia so they can actually do the vodka tasting.

 

As for the charitable work you do - your house is AMAZING and as the mom of three boys who are chorinically ill (yes those 3 above all are chronically ill but I refuse to treat them that way) helping children (an animals is great). We drive to my moms in Boca every year and one of my closest friends lives on the intercostal in Stuart so we will have try to make a detour to your house to see all the decorations - my boys would be in heaven. We did our first cruise me and the boys August 2011 - the Eastern Med for one of the twins Make A Wish Trip and decided then that our big vacations would now be cruises as they are great for us. The boys have their space, they ships accommodate their medical needs, etc.

 

We all would love to cruise with you one day - maybe I can convince my mom we need to cruise just her and I

 

Sharon

[akwilson12]

Sandi I was curious did you do AQ on Eclipse? I also heard the miami terminal is a lot better for boarding and disembarkation than in Fort Lauderdale?

 

We have been out of both ports and I would compare them similarly; however, on our recent disembarkation of Reflection in Miami, it was very bad. I don't fault the cruise line though. I fault the government on recent cuts to Homeland Security and the reduction of custom agents available to get people off the ship. I only saw 4 agents to offload that many passengers, there could have been more, but I only counted 4. As a result, we waited in line for customs for an hour and had our return flight home not been delayed, we would have missed it.

 

After 10+ cruises, I really prefer Port Canaveral for the ease of their process for disembarkation and wish Celebrity would put some ships there. In Port Canaveral, when you disembark, you go through customs first, then go get your luggage which makes more sense to me. I also think it helps porters make more money as there were several porters having to stand in line with folks waiting to go through customs. This obviously slowed them down to make more money by assisting other passengers.

[cruiseguys2009]

We have been out of both ports and I would compare them similarly; however, on our recent disembarkation of Reflection in Miami, it was very bad. I don't fault the cruise line though. I fault the government on recent cuts to Homeland Security and the reduction of custom agents available to get people off the ship. I only saw 4 agents to offload that many passengers, there could have been more, but I only counted 4. As a result, we waited in line for customs for an hour and had our return flight home not been delayed, we would have missed it.

 

After 10+ cruises, I really prefer Port Canaveral for the ease of their process for disembarkation and wish Celebrity would put some ships there. In Port Canaveral, when you disembark, you go through customs first, then go get your luggage which makes more sense to me. I also think it helps porters make more money as there were several porters having to stand in line with folks waiting to go through customs. This obviously slowed them down to make more money by assisting other passengers.

 

I agree, Port Canaveral is the Best, followed by Miami, then Fort Lauderdale and the least popular is the Port of Palm Beach.

[cruiseguys2009]

Thank you JW for a very informative, unique and hysterical review. I am loving it as are my boys (they are 16,16, & 20) my older one goes - I am on the 1,2, 3 drunk program in July (and yes he can drink as we will be in Europe) and he goes can we bring JW with us too. I was like first NO 1,2, 3 drunk for you only 1 and unfortunately I do not think JW can go with us BUT I would ask - we are doing the Baltics July 7-19th (out of Amsterdam on the Constellation) for my 50th. I will be me, my 3 boys, my partner (his first trip outside the US - other than Canada and Mexico) (YES we are the JAP jewish American princess from NJ -now VA - DAMN STRAIGHT and he is the redneck from VA - but funny thing my nice Jewish mom loves him to death - as after 10 years he has very well learned and adjusted to the country club and $1000 blazers - he loves his - lol) and of course my mom 74 (and NO HAT LADY - she is the one who will be out dancing at the club with my oldest all night and told the boys (who have asked to see a coffee shop and the red light district) that she would take them - see I am the straight up one (you know that legally blonde thing I have going on).

 

As for the 1,2, 3 Drunk promo we have that too - but see 1, 2 and I will be on the floor or dancing on tables as I do not drink very often - you know that type A personality that ALWAYS needs to be in control - but I am so looking forward to two (2) weeks OUT OF THE COUNTRY with no work computer (you know those damn pesky export rules) :D so I will actually get to relax. See my twin boys have already founf they could legally have a drink in many of the countries we are going to but especially Russia so they can actually do the vodka tasting.

 

As for the charitable work you do - your house is AMAZING and as the mom of three boys who are chorinically ill (yes those 3 above all are chronically ill but I refuse to treat them that way) helping children (an animals is great). We drive to my moms in Boca every year and one of my closest friends lives on the intercostal in Stuart so we will have try to make a detour to your house to see all the decorations - my boys would be in heaven. We did our first cruise me and the boys August 2011 - the Eastern Med for one of the twins Make A Wish Trip and decided then that our big vacations would now be cruises as they are great for us. The boys have their space, they ships accommodate their medical needs, etc.

 

We all would love to cruise with you one day - maybe I can convince my mom we need to cruise just her and I

 

Sharon

 

I feel honored and you made my day! I love the fact that your kids are enjoying the review as much as I am re-telling it! After a brief departure last night, I am back and will be posting about Gozdea, The Tuscan Godzilla. Thank you so much for your kind remarks, and I would love to see you at the House this year! Hello to mom! Sounds like she needs to travel with ME!

[cruiseguys2009]

Eclipse is a beautiful ship too!

Here's to you JW:

 

 

Here's a link to my photos from our Dec 2011 cruise if you are interested.

 

http://Http://photobucket.com/albums/j322/librarylady19/Celebrity Eclipse

 

 

Now you've done it Sandi! I have to post one just like this again for our April 2014 sailing! Have you sailed Equinox yet? I had to submit the post, go back and see your cruise listing and crap, you have. I bet you have one of these pics for that too. Seems I will be paying tribute to Sandi at each sailing! Love it!

 

I would love to sail with you and meet up at the same time at embarkation so we can take that pic together....now that would be rockin'!

[Bundles917]

“YOUUUUU HOOOOO!” “JayDoubleYooooo HOOOO!”

 

Jerome says “Oh here we go” “Oh Lordy, Here She Comes” I say to Jerome (With my eyes camouflaged behind my sunglasses). “She woke me up!” ‘I was sound asleep and this Bi…” Jerome interrupted, saying “JW” “Be Nice!” He continued talking as she made her way with her glass of champagne in her hand towards us….”What’s she got on?” Jerome asked, I said, the classic old lady retort ....“I dunno, but it sure needs ironing!”

 

At this point Hat Lady was upon us and her coochie was at eye level to me, winking at me. I could not move and the last thing I want to see that afternoon was an old coochie winking at me, in a saggy, satin white bikini. Her bikini top was trying to hold in the newly inserted tata's, unsuccessfully I might add. And the bottom, well, the bottom was loose as a goose! I mean, I could not reach for my cocktail as my hand would have been coochiefied. I need a good stiff one to deal with the writing of this story, pardon me while I sip on my Martini as I write this. And how amazing, MY SAVIOR, Roger, gorgeous Roger appeared…..he knew the drill, Hat Lady wanted a bucket of ice, another glass of Chandon Champagne and what ever else. I just wanted a good stiff drink as the retna of my eye was compromised because of a 73 year old coochie in my face. Gay men and coochies just don't sit well with each other. Buh!

 

“How ya doin‘ darling?” Hat Coochie, err, I mean Hat Lady asked me? “I was asleep until a few minutes ago“, I said. “You can’t sleep either on this ship?” “I mean to tell you,” as she went on and on, “I have not slept since we boarded!” “Maybe I need to drink more!" she continued with, “I just love all my Gaybies, You Guys are so much fun, and we girls get to have fun with out all the BS and Sex and stuff” “Ya Know what I mean?”

 

Ahhh, she finally shut up. She needs to go to that Twelve Step program for Over Talkers Anonymous, it’s called “And On and On and On!”

 

How can I concentrate with a coochie in my face. I had to be uncouth…“Dear”, I politely begged, “Can you please move that Vajayjay over there?”….Pointing to the other side of my chaise, “It’s blocking my sun!”

 

“Oh You!" "Jay Double You!", "Have some Champagne!” She said, “I have been drinking it since we got up this morning”. Of course she has. Does she know what a syllable is? Nelson, Gorgeous Nelson, then materialized with more Chandon and both Jerome and I needed a good stiff one after seeing that old cooter, ugh, coochie!

 

I got up to go into the pool, as Hat Lady settled into Her Chaise Lounge. Oh, the water was refreshing. Fresh Water too. That’s a first for me, a fresh water pool on a ship.

 

And speaking of Hat Lady. No one ever dared touch her lounge for the entire week. Everyone knew that this Chaise was Her Throne. So, as I was in the pool, there, Roger appeared with her standard order of a Bucket of Ice and no sooner than delivered than......Whoosh! Her signature ice pour all over her body. I heard Jerome say “Oh Lord” and I just ducked my head under the cool water of the Fresh Water Pool, and came up laughing so hard, I drank the water.

 

I came out of the refreshing pool and asked Hat Lady why she poured Ice all over herself several times each day. She replied “Honey, because what the Doctor didn’t tighten up for Ten Grand, the ICE will, …..Temporarily!” “Oh Lord”, again I heard Jerome say.

 

Personally, I have to say that from the front, Hat Lady (and we do know her real name) looked fabulous. But honey, if you wanted to tighten up something, then flip over and throw ice on your Derrière! Your bathing suit sagged down to the floor! Especially the White One. Which is the one she had on today, along with the formal night sombrero.

 

“Oh Lord” Jerome said again as she stood up to Spray Coppertone all over her body, especially the BACK side!. When she turned around, it looked like her bottom of her bathing suit had fallen out! “Oh Lord” Jerome said again, “JW, we gotta get out of here", he whispered to me.

 

“Jerome, I am hungry!” “Let’s have a late lunch in the "OV"! Our reservations for Tuscan aren’t until 8:30 tonight.” “I need something to tide me over.” “Buh Bye Now, see you at the Tini Bar tonight!” We both said as we waved goodbye to Hat Lady. “Did you see her derrière come right out of her bathing suit?” Jerome said to me. "Derriere?" I said, "What about her coochie?" I continued, "And she said she had it waxed in the Spa!" "How would you liked to have been the person who had THAT job!" We laughed all thru lunch and nearly choked on our food multiple times.

 

The Internet does exist within a vacuum…

 

JW, your lust for life is admirable and fun to observe. I cannot but wonder how much fun this recounting would be for ‘Hat Lady’ should she discover the public mocking of her by acquaintances she believed kind to her, and the strangers who add comment. What memories would she now carry from what was probably an enjoyable retreat? I don’t think any of us would bear well the weight public ridicule.

 

 

Your humor is wonderful. But having been verbally beaten by others while growing up for differences of who I am, I find laughter at the expense of someone's eccentricities... difficult.

[cruiseguys2009]

The Internet does exist within a vacuum…

 

JW, your lust for life is admirable and fun to observe. I cannot but wonder how much fun this recounting would be for ‘Hat Lady’ should she discover the public mocking of her by acquaintances she believed kind to her, and the strangers who add comment. What memories would she now carry from what was probably an enjoyable retreat? I don’t think any of us would bear well the weight public ridicule.

 

 

Your humor is wonderful. But having been verbally beaten by others while growing up for differences of who I am, I find laughter at the expense of someone's eccentricities... difficult.

 

Paul, thank you and point well taken, however, I too grew up with considerable chastisement and humiliation and what now would be called bullying. Hat Lady is reading this review and she, tho not an active participant on Cruise Critic, to quote her directly, told me last night "It's the God's Honest Truth!" We've talked on the phone a dozen times since our sailing and I run everything I mention about her, by her first. So I'm not telling tales out of school. I am however, creating a caricature of an experience that was so real and so funny, that I am merely expressing what everyone else thought. Taking that in stride, along with a nod to Don Rickles, thank you for continuing to enjoy the review.

 

By the way, Hat Lady has made an appointment for her 46th Plastic Surgery Operation. Her Derriere!

[k9x8]

This answers the question about the cost for this cruise.

It's all about supply and demand, and you guys are a big draw. :D

 

 

 

Originally Posted by joyhannah

This is the best review ever!!!! so much fun. I will be on this boat 11/16

when will you be there? Thank you so much for sharing

Joy

 

You are sailing with Jerome and I! Join our roll call!!!!!!

[Bundles917]

Paul, thank you and point well taken, however, I too grew up with considerable chastisement and humiliation and what now would be called bullying. Hat Lady is reading this review and she, tho not an active participant on Cruise Critic, to quote her directly, told me last night "It's the God's Honest Truth!" We've talked on the phone a dozen times since our sailing and I run everything I mention about her, by her first. So I'm not telling tales out of school. I am however, creating a caricature of an experience that was so real and so funny, that I am merely expressing what everyone else thought. Taking that in stride, along with a nod to Don Rickles, thank you for continuing to enjoy the review.

 

By the way, Hat Lady has made an appointment for her 46th Plastic Surgery Operation. Her Derriere!

 

:) (I literally did smile reading that Hat Lady was reading this. Can I borrow some of her cojones?)

[Archer0749]

Again well said.

Paul, thank you and point well taken, however, I too grew up with considerable chastisement and humiliation and what now would be called bullying. Hat Lady is reading this review and she, tho not an active participant on Cruise Critic, to quote her directly, told me last night "It's the God's Honest Truth!" We've talked on the phone a dozen times since our sailing and I run everything I mention about her, by her first. So I'm not telling tales out of school. I am however, creating a caricature of an experience that was so real and so funny, that I am merely expressing what everyone else thought. Taking that in stride, along with a nod to Don Rickles, thank you for continuing to enjoy the review.

 

By the way, Hat Lady has made an appointment for her 46th Plastic Surgery Operation. Her Derriere!

[wallie5446]

Now that the 'footnotes' and ** are taken care of :D

[lawblond7]

I feel honored and you made my day! I love the fact that your kids are enjoying the review as much as I am re-telling it! After a brief departure last night, I am back and will be posting about Gozdea, The Tuscan Godzilla. Thank you so much for your kind remarks, and I would love to see you at the House this year! Hello to mom! Sounds like she needs to travel with ME!

 

My boys get along with everyone and as one has spent ALOT of time in and out of hospitals (knock wood he has been very stable the last few years) and they have been exposed to all types of people so that helps. My best friend since HS has been married to her wife for almost 20 years - 10 years longer than I was married. They love all people and you are just cracking up and they go mom we need to sail with JW - because at their age they I am sure say a lot of the same things you say or think :eek: But also on the other hand they have excellent manners (when they want to or have to) for example on our last cruise we had dinenr with the captain and 4 other "ADULT" couples and after 3 hours everyone complimented me and them on how well they behaved. BUT they also - luckily like to get dressed up - and the twins each have such specific taste in clothes that hard for me to go shopping without them. Cole likes the hollister type surf look where as Clay who is very skinny likes the H & M loook skinny jeans, vneck shirts and cardigans. And they love their suits and ties and yes they each pick out their own button down shirts and Ties. Cole likes the pink and purple shirts (he has always liked that color since he was young even had a t-shirt real men wear pink). So we need to arrange to cruise with you maybe next summer as I prefer NOT to go during spring break, etc. While I love my kids I do prefer not to have tons of little kids namely my kids are onl enoguh I do not need to watch them 24/7 - oldest is an adult and the twins can roam ship so I relax. One of reasons we chose Celebrity this time as it will cover both me and Roger and my mom and the boys - so everyone is happy - and my boys love to travel and wanted to go back to Europe and I am turning 50 so lets party.

 

And we will make it a plan to stop at your house in December. My mom is in Boca so we may have to pick her up and take her too - she hates to miss our on the fun.

 

My mom is still cool at 74. Goes back to her youth (rolls eyes) her and my dad had tickets to woodstock and I was a mere 5(or 6 years old but old enough i would have remembered) and they decided against taking us (me and my brother) cause of the MUD. She has partied with the best of them and to this day still loves rock and roll and to dance. Watching her and my oldest on the dance floor is a how in and of itself. AND she LOVES her chocolate martinis. She will clearly be on the 1,2, 3 drunk program so I will have to take the keys to her scooter to ensure there is no DUI. She can walk but has some issues with distance so then it would be 1,2, 3 FLOOR

 

me I am the light weight - see one drink and I start to dance on tables (VEGAS in younger days) so I have learned but . . tequilla does make my clothes fall off and I love a good frozen margarita.

[joyhannah]

You are sailing with Jerome and I! Join our roll call!!!!!!

 

I will be looking for you... I have the 123 also and cant wait to get started....see ya at the cc party

[cruiseguys2009]

Prior to our sailing I did so much research on the Specialty Dining Restaurants that were on the Reflection. I scoured the Cruise Critic Boards, I memorized the menu’s from The Celebrity Website, we were, to say the least, most excited to dine in Tuscan. Jerome and I knew exactly what we were going to order too. We had written it down, and we used to goad each other, with our own Personal Cruise Countdown with “Twelve More Days Until We Have Steak Tartare In Tuscan!” “This time tomorrow we will be having Beef Carpaccio in Tuscan!” Which brings me, at this point of the cruise, I had to Tinkle with excitement because today was THE DAY WE EAT IN TUSCAN!.

 

Our reservations were for 8:30 PM. We had our outfits planned months in advance for this night. All of our clothes we were wearing would be Strictly Italian, right down to our shoes and socks, underwear and tee shirts. We had so much fun pre-planning for this night. It was to be a Grand Event, as we were celebrating Jerome’s Birthday,

 

Jerome and I arrived in the Martini Bar at about 7:30 PM and as usual and right on time, Andreas met me with my Martini and Jerome with his Manhattan. What service! He just knew right when we were about to arrive. I thought, very “James Bond-ish”. Secret Celebrity Agents stalking our hallway, as we exit our room, they radio to Control: “The Queen is Moving, The Queen is Moving!” Then someone else radio’s in : “The Queen is on the Elevator” The Queen is on the Elevator” “And he's all dressed up in Italian Designer Clothing!” “Cue Andreas with the Martini!” “Okay, Ready, Set, Action!” That is exactly what it felt like.

 

Andreas poured the well chilled Grey Goose Vodka into the Martini Glass. He looked at me with those dreamy eyes of his, signaling that I could take the glass. I gently removed the glass from his tray. I took that first glorious sip of that well shaken Grey Goose Martini, lifted the cocktail pick skewered with three olives out of the glass, and popped all three in my mouth at once!. "Ta Da!" I said to Andreas. Andreas just smiled. The best part was, he returned with three more olives on a skewer! What a guy!

 

At the same time, there was one of the fantastic Multiple Martini Demonstrations going on and I heard that familiar voice of the Hat Lady, only this time, she was loud, inaudible and very much imbibed. So much so, that during the Martini Demonstration, she was gathering up little bits of ice on the bar, making mini snow balls, and tossing them at the bartenders. Now that, was over the top! Needless to say, we watched from afar, and watched all of her “Other Boys” scatter quickly when Security came to escort her back to her room. Uh Oh. Hat Lady was a wee bit tipsy and got herself into trouble. The next day, she did not remember a thing. Not at all. 1,2,3, Floor!

 

We ran into Saint’s Thomas and Patrick and we sat in one of the alcoves talking and carrying on. Both our parties had 8:30 reservations, they in BLU and us in Tuscan. I told them how much we were looking forward to dining in Tuscan and Tom thought that I was kooky for doing all the research I had done on the menu. Kooky? This coming from a man who uses a Thong as a Pocket Square…..?!?

 

It was about “That” time, and I wanted to truly Tinkle! It was 8:20 PM and I said “Jerome, Let’s Go!” “I am so excited!” As we all said our temporary goodbyes, to go to our separate restaurants, we agreed to meet up after dinner, compare notes, and then do all the “Deck Dancing and late Night Parties” Planned by the Cruise Director Paul Baya.

 

Here we were, going thru that “Art Room“, I called it the “Ding, Ping, Ting” room, on the way to Tuscan. My take on this room is, well, it’s blue, got lots of flowers, and lots on Dings, Pings, Tings, and a kind of a silver star shaped seat in one corner and drawings of broken Greek or Roman Statues that reminded me of the Grave Yard Scene and Sculptures in the Disney Haunted Mansion Ride. It did not make a whole lot of sense, except, that every time Jerome walked thru the room to either Murano or to Tuscan, he got queasy. He hated walking thru that room. Buh!

 

Ahhhh, we are here! Finally! We arrived at the Front Desk at Tuscan. It was exactly 8:25 PM. Five minutes early, so that’s okay. Not late, just about right on time. In front of us is another couple, and the Maitre D’, her name is Gozde Orkun, was in the process of seating them, however, never acknowledged us with an “I will be with you in one moment”.

 

We watched as the Maitre D’, Gozde, escorted the couple to one table, then to another, then to a third and then back to the first. Jerome and I, at this point were amused at the circus. The restaurant, at what was now 8:35 PM, was not busy. There were many open tables. I had requested a window table, thou I told the reservationist that it was not a priority, as you could not see anything out those windows at night anyway, but it would be nice for Jerome’s Birthday.

 

We were the only ones standing at the check in desk for some time now, and a cocktail server came up, greeted us and asked, “No one has helped you yet?” “Well, no". She put her tray down and picked up menus, asked our room number and led us to a table. Now I am not one to complain about any table, but it was a deuce, in the middle of the room, near the swinging kitchen door and was in a heavy service traffic pattern. All the tables on the banquets lining the walls nearby, that ran around the room, were unoccupied, and were being set up for a large party, most likely for lunch tomorrow as it was late. I noticed that most of the patrons that were around us, were well into their dining courses. There were three empty tables nearby. A deuce by the window, a four top behind us and another deuce next to our table. Let me stress again, it was not busy, however, as a comparison, Murano was packed and we were treated so differently there.

 

Before I continue, I would like to pose a question to you all. How long of a wait for acknowledgement by a waiter, cocktail server, sommelier, or bus boy is acceptable? Really, How long of a wait before you are greeted once you are seated at a table is acceptable? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? How long are you willing to wait before being upset that you are ignored? No water, no bread, no greeting, and as I said, we were in a heavy service traffic pattern and every single server, bus boy and even the sommelier passed by us more than twice. I would not have had an issue if just one of the throngs of service personnel just stopped by for one second and said “We will Be Right With You”. Didn't happen.

 

How long is acceptable? I know I am on vacation, should not worry, but this is a Specialty Restaurant, it’s Jerome’s birthday, they are not that busy, and Jerome was the one, not me, who was getting really upset. It was now ten minutes to nine PM. We have been seated for fifteen minutes. The table next to us has just gotten sat, the deuce by the window (which should have been our table to begin with) just got sat and the four top behind us got sat. All at the same time. I guess they were on time for their 9PM Reservation time slot.

 

Oh look, finally, a bus boy with water is heading our way. Now we have been sitting there for twenty five minutes, but he by passes our table and goes to the deuce next to us. He serves them water, (and I thought he was then going to turn around and serve us, wrong) he then goes to the window table and pours water there. Bread is now delivered to the table next to us, the four top behind us and then the table by the window. The Sommelier is already at the table by the window, cocktail server at the four top behind us, and it’s at this point, Jerome stands up and says “Let’s Go.” I stand up and begin to walk out, and no one even tries to stop me. But, as I look back, think that Jerome is right behind me, I see that Jerome is surrounded by three waiters, as he puts it “Cornered”. He tells them all, “You’ve all ignored us for the past twenty minutes, and it’s my birthday and I don’t want to eat here anymore!” “Leave me alone, you have ruined my birthday!” Now, understand that Jerome is the “Quiet” one mind you. He never complains or expresses dissatisfaction, I am the one who usually does that. Wow, I was right mighty proud of him.

 

We walk out of Tuscan. I was dumfounded and really, really disappointed and we were on our way directly to Guest Relations when, like Thunder In The Distance, Running thru the Guest Passageway, literally “Chasing” us and screaming “Hold It!” “You, Hold It!”. This person, Gozde, the Maitre D’, was screaming at us like we just robbed the joint. Her behavior and screeching caused the roughly 150 passengers at the Ensemble Bar (The one that's right outside of Murano) to look at immediately at us, as if they would assist her and try and stop us, like we just committed a crime. Everyone’s interest was peaked and she embarrassed us.

 

In her "Outside Voice" she pronounces to us “What is the meaning of dis?” “You do not leave Restaurant!” With her tone of voice being in the most disgraceful tone, I turned to her and said “Excuse Me?” “How dare you speak to me in that tone of voice.!” “Who do you think you are?” She stood firmly and says “I am Gozde, I run Restaurant” “You do”, I said, “You don’t run it very well.” “What chu means by this?” She spits back at me. Jerome then says “We waited for over twenty minutes and no one acknowledged us”. She actually talked to us as if we were subordinates. If she talked to me like that at a job I worked at on the ship, she would be thrown overboard! Disrespectful, mean, nasty and not very nice.

 

“You get back in restaurant now!” She barked. I said to her, “Now wait a minute!” “What is your name?” Reading her name tag aloud, I said “Goes-da” “Is that right?” “Goes-duh”. “No“, she says, and with her Turkish accent it sounded like “Goshzdea”. I said “Godzilla?” “Well that’s fitting!” “Godzilla” I continued “Now you listen to me Godzilla, I am the customer.” “You do not chase me in your high heels, speak to us in an accusatory tone, in front of all these Passengers, and mistreat us like you have.” “No, Godzilla, we will not return to the Restaurant, we are going to Guest Relations!” Godzilla replied, “You go to Guest relations, I call them now!” “I tell them you coming and you do nothing but lie, tell lies about Gozde!” “You see, they no listen to you, Restaurant Manager is Turkish, he take care of Gozde.!”

 

Maybe this person had not yet grasped the English language. I would give her the benefit of the doubt for her misuse of certain phrases she was trying to get across, but I will not have anyone mistreat myself or Jerome or justify bad behavior, and scream at me. I was looking so forward to having dinner there, it was now approaching 9:30 PM and it looked like we would be going with out dinner after all.

 

We headed down to Guest Relations, and I did not say a word. Jerome did all the talking, and we had the attention of all six of the attendants. In addition, The Turkish Restaurant Manager stood next to me as Jerome described the confrontation and asked each of the Attendants, How long would YOU wait for acknowledgement? All of them said “Two Minutes”.

 

There was no resolution to the matter. The Restaurant Manager two days later came up to me, insisting on having “Coffee” with us to discuss the situation. Jerome politely declined. The Food and Beverage Manager should have addressed the situation with us directly. We were not interested in discussing anything with the person in charge of putting her in that Maitre D’ position in the first place. We were not interested in “Protecting” her position. We were not looking for a Comp. We did not want a Free Meal. We wanted service. Respectful, attentive, professional and proper service that was being provided to everyone else in Tuscan that night. Most important, we wanted The Wonderful Italian Meal We Dreamed About. Instead we got none of the above and were accosted by Godzilla in High Heals in front of other Passengers, as if we were criminals.

 

We were hungry, it was already 9:45 PM after we left Guest Relations, we went up on our own to the OPUS dining room. Knowing that they closed at 9:30, but Johnny (A Real Maitre D’) already knew what happened, brought us in and he had the entire “Select” dining staff take care of us, including fabulous Carlos, our Waiter!. Must have been thirty of them! That, is attentive service,! Jerome and I had quick dinner, as we did not want to keep the staff any longer than was necessary and booked out of OPUS by 10 PM. A quick 45 minute dinner, Happy Birthday Jerome! Johnny, Carlos our waiter and all the others in OPUS redeemed the night for us, though, and we did not go hungry.

 

What this incident did, was take our first cruise and our vacation with Celebrity from One Hundred and Ten Percent Satisfaction, down a notch to One Hundred Percent. Still, one bad apple did not spoil the bunch, but if she behaved like this with us, then she has done it with other Passengers as well.

 

Gozde should be working for Carnival, not Celebrity. And she certainly does not have the people skills or the experience yet, to be a Proper Maitre D’. Later on in the week, Jerome and I saw her berate and belittle two hard working servers in the OV, which I found out she is partly in charge of as well. She was yelling at them and putting them down in front of Guest’s calling them “Stupid” and “I am going to write you up!“ This woman is a real piece of work and should not be allowed to infringe upon our vacation anymore. There are thousands of “Happy” Professional People who are better suited for that position.

 

In November, when we return for Part Two on The Reflection, we finally want to realize our Dream and eat in Tuscan. Only this time it will be for My Birthday! If that Godzilla is still there, we will make other arrangements. Hopefully, Celebrity will recognize the err of this person and place someone as Maitre D’ who is properly trained and rightfully deserves the position.

 

A note to this whole affair. To further aggravate this situation further, We received the standard “Thank You” note for dining in Tuscan, signed by Godzilla herself. That, we feel, was done absolutely deliberately. A further testament that she is a mean, vindictive, inexperienced, and not a very nice person.

 

In all the Japanese “Godzilla” movies, in the end, Godzilla returns to the sea. Hopefully this saga ends the same way.

[wallie5446]

I will be looking for you... I have the 123 also and cant wait to get started....see ya at the cc party

 

Have you signed up yet?

As of 03-May-2013, 40 guests have already signed up for the Celebrity Cruises/Cruise Critic Party for the cruise Celebrity Reflection sailing on 16-Nov-2013

[cruiseguys2009]

Have you signed up yet?

As of 03-May-2013, 40 guests have already signed up for the Celebrity Cruises/Cruise Critic Party for the cruise Celebrity Reflection sailing on 16-Nov-2013

 

 

Yes, Jerome and I will be there!