Just for fun!

[Martita B.]

What is the funniest or most ridculous complaint you'd heard while aboard a Seabourn ship?

Here's mine........on one sailing (Pride ) there was a couple who every morning around 11 would stomp thru' the Sky Bar door ~"march" up to the bar with a long handwritten list of complaints ~the woman, in a loud voice, would start going down her list to the bartender ~as if he was in charge of complaints. One morning she came in extra peeved and mad......"what are you going to do about our bath towels??......they are way TOO short!!" Without blinking an eye the bartender sweetly said, "oh I am so terribly sorry Mrs X,.....I'll call David, the laundry master and ask him to add more terrycloth to your towels." Sitting with friends at a nearby table we couldn't contain ourselves and all burst out laughing.......then I had to say, "Oh Bob you tell the funniest JOKES!

Would love to hear your story?

Happy sailing

Martita B

[rl787]

Over the years most of us have heard many unreasonable complaints however one event that happened on Silverseas was memorable.

We had noticed that this particular mature couple had been complaining about a few things generally, but one pre dinner evening they fumed to the bartender about how stale the cashew nuts were at the bars all round the ships. They demanded to discuss this with the Bar Manager. A lovely young chap was brought up to talk to them and he politely listened to this couples tirade. The outcome was that the Bar Manager would arrange for them to have freshly fried cashew nuts at which ever bar they wanted at their appointed time every day........... The following day they attended trivia...at the end of trivia everyone got up......except this poor chap, who sat still.......sadly he had had a stroke and the ship had to divert for him to be hospitalised. Luckily he survived.......and I enjoyed his freshly fried cashew nuts.........

[PBfromDC]

Overheard at the Observation Bar on an Odyssey crossing "there was no caffeine-free Diet Pepsi in our cabin refrigerator. It's ruined the whole trip." So that's all it takes to ruin a trip?

[Martita B.]

Thanks for the laughs! Made my day ~~:p

MB

[FKGirl]

Overheard at the Observation Bar on an Odyssey crossing "there was no caffeine-free Diet Pepsi in our cabin refrigerator. It's ruined the whole trip." So that's all it takes to ruin a trip?

 

That is just sad.

[Flamin_June]

The complaint was probably justified, however the response was outrageous:

 

MDR, Dinner, somewhere in the Atlantic

 

Asst. MD: "And how is everything tonight? How is your Dover Sole?

Passenger: "I'm afraid it's not too good. There are lots of bones."

Asst. MD: "Oh!. Shall I bring you some tweezers?"

[Martita B.]

Another great true saga......once on a Transatlantic Crossing a couple staying in Suite 02 complained and complained about the ocean being so rough and that it was hard for them to get dressed......the husband finally went up to the Bridge and demanded that Capt. TT "do something about it!" :confused: Capt. Toenis just let the man rave and rave......then said, "Sir, if I could do something about the rough Atlantic Ocean I wouldn't be a Master of a ship!" The story was related to me by TT so I know it actually happened.

Mr & Mrs "X" were seasoned Seabournites and should have known the bow Owners Suites are not reliable on a TA Crossing ~too rock and roll.

MB

[MrsWaldo]

Mine is a Silversea one too...

 

Communal seating and one lady at our table complained to the waiter...

 

Her fish tasted.... "Fishy"

 

The waiter stood there awhile and looked awkward, to which Mr Waldo piped up

"and my chicken tastes fowl"

 

Silence and then as it dawned

 

Most of the table erupted into laughter and the waiter removed the fish.... needless to say she wasn't very happy with Mr Waldo....

 

but seriously, what did she want fish to taste like

[sfocruiser]

Mine is a Silversea one too...

 

Communal seating and one lady at our table complained to the waiter...

 

Her fish tasted.... "Fishy"

 

The waiter stood there awhile and looked awkward, to which Mr Waldo piped up

"and my chicken tastes fowl"

 

Silence and then as it dawned

 

Most of the table erupted into laughter and the waiter removed the fish.... needless to say she wasn't very happy with Mr Waldo....

 

but seriously, what did she want fish to taste like

 

Fresh fish should never taste "fishy"

[MrsWaldo]

well if it doesn't taste like fish....what should it taste like?

 

All fish tastes fishy to me, and if it tastes like chicken then i am worried!

 

IMHO her fishy was a bad choice of word.... not right etc, extremely strong...

[clarky]

My complaint story is also a Silverseas story.

 

I passed the British CD and noticed him looking very bemused. I asked him how he was this morning. He replied "I have just had a very strange complaint" "Oh, what was it" A certain lady passenger just came in and complained to me that there were far too many Australians on board the ship and what was I going to do about it"

 

I'm Australian myself and could just not believe a passenger would make a complaint like this. I mentioned it to some other Australians on board and we all had a good laugh about it. About two nights later one of the Australians I mentioned it to told me that he was at a hosted dinner where he mentioned to the people at the table that a passenger had complained about there being too many Australians on board. Before anyone could make a comment a lady at the table said "that was me" she then threw her napkin on the table and stormed off.

 

Now everyone knew who she was.

[MrsWaldo]

Over a period of time I've heard some doozies in hotels

 

1. There is sand on the beach and the tide goes out.

2. Too many birds (hmmm it's called HERON island)

3. The sun was too bright on the beach (and yes there were umbrellas)

4. The view from the room is lovely but could you please make sure the lights outside are turned off so we can sleep. (and yes, they were referring to an Opera House View so they wanted the city lights extinguished) The poor concierge suggested closing the curtains. reply was... but then we wont be able to see the Opera house when we wake up :rolleyes:

5. There is no dial on the microwave (it was a built in flat screen TV, not a microwave)

[sfocruiser]

well if it doesn't taste like fish....what should it taste like?

 

All fish tastes fishy to me, and if it tastes like chicken then i am worried!

 

IMHO her fishy was a bad choice of word.... not right etc, extremely strong...

 

Yea I agree there is a touch of irony that very fresh fish has no "fishy" taste buttery yes. Having grown up in anchorage you learn the signs.

 

Back on topic I find it hallarious that someone complained about too many Australians. Having several OZ friends I would think that would add some pizazz to the cruise.

 

Cheers!

[MrsWaldo]

Yeah and growing up by the coast in Australia with a fishing mad father I know that different fish have distinctly different flavours and textures. Which why the comment made us go...hmmmm

 

We get lots of fish here that can be described as "fishy" eg a sea mullet (even totally fresh, eaten within 2 hours of catching is very fishy in comparison to a Coral Trout. Our Barra tastes totally different to its farmed cousins from the other hemisphere.

 

 

I overheard a lady in Moscow who was on river cruise complaining that their ship had too many Australians. Didn't they realise they were on a US based tour company and they should stick to Australian lines.

 

LOL she later sat beside us in an Italian restaurant and couldn't translate the menu. I helped her out.... see we convicts ain't all bad ;)

[Flamin_June]

Heard as passengers were coming back on board from an excursion:

 

"I'm fed up with these tours. I want to go somewhere where there aren't any tourists!"

 

Not realising that, being a tourist, they will never be somewhere were there aren't any tourists.

[Martita B.]

Once dining at the Captains hosted table a fellow called our waiter over to the table.....he was quite upset that his desert order was NOT what he ordered. :eek: He exclaimed to the entire group...."Son, I ordered one scoop of vanilla ice cream......you brought me TWO scoops!" We were all in disbelief!

Martita B

[Tothesunset]

Overheard on a bus in Hong Kong, father to British soldier son:

 

''Is there anywhere we can get a proper dinner, it's all foreign rubbish here?''

[stamfordian]

Those who have sailed into/out of Copenhagen will appreciate story told by Captain Erik Saabye on Pride. There is a vast field of electricity-producing wind turbines in the channel between Copenhagen and Malmo. A guest complained of the summer heat on board at the sailaway and, in all sincerity, asked "Gee! Just how hot does it have to get for them to turn the fans on?"!

[Roxburgh]

This was not a complaint but I loved it anyway.

 

91 year old retired doctor at our table was asked by the wine waitress (Jenny) if he would like a glass of wine.

 

His response .... "load me up kid"

 

I want to be like him when I grow up :)

[dalliowner]

Years ago on P&O I was told an elderly lady in one of the top suites was invited to the captain`s table and commented " at the price I am paying I do not expect to eat with the staff":D

[Martita B.]

Aboard a Christmas/New Year's cruise 2 "ladies", seated at Capt. Geir-Arne's hosted New Year's Eve dinner table had over indulged in wine ~they staggered out the back door to smoke before deserts were served. When returning from the back staircase, one of the "ladies" strapless sequinned dress had slipped down almost to her waist:confused::confused::confused: (no bra) Imagine WHAT 2 body items were plainly sticking out for all in the dining room to see??

They, then staggered back to Capt. GA's table and plopped down......(I sure wish I had taken a picture of Geir-Arne's face!) We were at a nearby table and heard him say, "Ohhh my beeper just went off.....excuse me, I have to get up to the Bridge!" And out the back door he ran!! Dining room was totally silent......

After all these years I am still shaking my head!:eek:

Martita B

[Emperor Norton]

well if it doesn't taste like fish....what should it taste like?

 

All fish tastes fishy to me, and if it tastes like chicken then i am worried!

 

IMHO her fishy was a bad choice of word.... not right etc, extremely strong...

 

There's a difference between tasting of the sea (fresh) and fishy (not so fresh). But yes, I think it's more accurate to say 'this doesn't taste fresh' or go into a skit about how related the particular piece of fish is to a certain Norwegian Blue;) As noted however some fish even fresh are fishier than others.

 

----

 

This was from my Oceania cruise:

 

 

The night of one of the Captains receptions I was sitting in Horizons (venue where the reception was being held) speaking with another couple about the cruise. A man jogs up to the bar and starts yelling at one of the bartenders that he hadn't been served his classic martini. It turns out that his version of a classic martini had:

 

• Grey Goose Vodka (sorry, a classic martini uses gin)
  
• Triple shot of the vodka (wrong alcohol and amount)
  
• Raft of onions (that'd be a gibson...)
  
• Raft of olives (thats near dirty, not classic)
  
• Wedge of Orange
  
• Wedge of lemon
  

:confused::eek::rolleyes:

[Flamin_June]

All fish tastes fishy to me, and if it tastes like chicken then i am worried!

 

Though if the chicken tasted of fish I would be REALLY worried.

 

Not on Seabourn, but in expensive Chinese restaurant, young man evidently hoping to impress girlfriend, reaches over to the finger-bowl (tepid water, thin slice of lemon and a few floating petals) and drinks from it. Then calls waiter over and says "This tea is not hot enough and very watery!"

 

This is a true story.

[Jim Avery]

Just a silly observation but most of these complaints noted did not happen on Seabourn ships. After all, when on Seabourn, what is there to complain about???:eek::D

[Martita B.]

Jim

"towels are TOOO long!!" ha ha ha

Happy to see your post!

MB