How to "get rid" of someone????

[phatbachelor]

I'm about to take my first ever solo cruise early next month so I naturally clicked on this topic/thread along with the others. I personally don't fear a situation like this for even a second or ever worry about creating one by sending mixed signals (enabling a creepy stalker - male or female) as communication, confidence, self-awareness and being appropriate/polite enough are all pretty much all in check here.

 

It did get me to wonder though; have any of you ever thought that no matter how well you may limit the time and/or discrete you were that YOU in fact have been (or could be) the creeper in someone else's eyes??? hahahaha I suppose its a tolerance thing and well? Some are freaks themselves and may have super low tolerance + likely horrible judgment/instinct to boot.....lol@myself

 

Gosh, I'd hate to think that I could overstep totally unknowingly. Especially while in fun, fun, fun vacation mode. Sailing at non-peak times (less family with children) might gear one towards assuming you're all like-minded or something silly like that. Damn, now you all have me thinking.....

I hear what your saying....but if you have any kind of "social calibration", meaning, knowing the signs of dis interest from somebody (especially of the opposite sex:D:D), you can see those signs and keep it moving. Like if a lady just gives you short one word answers and keeps looking away like she's looking for someone to rescue her:eek::eek:

Just keep it moving. I GUARANTEE you you will find someone who is genuinely interested in your company eventually:D

[Thoie]

Gosh, I'd hate to think that I could overstep totally unknowingly. Especially while in fun, fun, fun vacation mode. Sailing at non-peak times (less family with children) might gear one towards assuming you're all like-minded or something silly like that. Damn, now you all have me thinking.....

 

I have a few rules for myself to stop me being "that person". Make sure you're the first to part company at least some of the times. If the other person is always the one to excuse themselves, think about it.

 

If you happen across someone you've been getting along well with, ask "May I join you, or would I be interrupting your quiet time?" - make it easy for them to say no without feeling bad. Mention during early conversations that sometimes you need some downtime.

 

Make suggestions along the lines of "I'm thinking of going to X at 11am if you're interested. Listen out for the difference between "No, I'm going to Z instead", "No, I'm going to Z if you fancy coming to that with us instead?", "Sure, I might see you there" and "Yes, that sounds great - I need to run grab something from my cabin, will I meet you back here in 15 minutes?"

 

Given that you're even asking the question, you're probably clued in enough already ;)

[LandlockedCruiser01]

It did get me to wonder though; have any of you ever thought that no matter how well you may limit the time and/or discrete you were that YOU in fact have been (or could be) the creeper in someone else's eyes??? hahahaha I suppose its a tolerance thing and well?

...

Gosh, I'd hate to think that I could overstep totally unknowingly. Especially while in fun, fun, fun vacation mode.

Great point. For a solo cruiser, having someone "adopt" you can make or break a cruise. But there's also a fine line between enjoying the benefit of your new friends' company and abusing the privilege. It's fairly easy to fall into a trap of latching on. Thoie is right: break off from from your new friends periodically. Most likely, you'll end up doing just that. For example, you have your heart set on eating lunch in the MDR, but they may prefer the lido buffet. In those cases, stick with your original plan, and offer to rejoin them later. I've done that multiple times, and never got a negative reaction. Even pre-existing friends (the ones who came on the cruise together) do that amongst themselves, although it seems to be fairly common on cruises and almost non-existent on land vacations.

[terracool]

My first thought was 100% with gxchan - someone finding you on a helicopter pad at night was NOT a coincidence. That would creep me out like no tomorrow. It was not a coincidence, and it was not a good guess, and it was not from having asked anyone. I can't see how that encounter happens unless you were followed. There are two ways you could have been followed: innocently, where someone sees you from a long distance that's too far to call out and starts making his or her way after you - simply intending to catch up but not close enough to call for your attention; or not innocently, where someone lurks in an area where you are likely to turn up and then follows, intentionally not calling out.

 

Either way .... YEESH.

 

This is a good thread. I also thought the same as some above who mention that we could all be "that" person to someone else. Face it - cruisers have a wide variety of styles, and hte likelihood that two people's ideal mix of with and alone times happen to align exactly are pretty slim.

 

I've never had to brush someone off on a cruise, but I have a pretty good idea of how it would go. Early: politely excusing myself, maybe mentioning an obligation or other time-specific thing. After that: Politely excusing myself after mentioning something specific that I wanted to do alone like a book or something. After that: Politely excusing myself and saying I just wanted to wander off (but no mention of anything like reading - just go). Final straw: Just say that I flat out want to enjoy the cruise or activity without conversation.

 

The longer they'd go without "getting it", the less I'm concerned with hurt feelings.

 

 

.

[LittleJeanne]

I'm about to take my first ever solo cruise early next month so I naturally clicked on this topic/thread along with the others. I personally don't fear a situation like this for even a second or ever worry about creating one by sending mixed signals (enabling a creepy stalker - male or female) as communication, confidence, self-awareness and being appropriate/polite enough are all pretty much all in check here.

 

It did get me to wonder though; have any of you ever thought that no matter how well you may limit the time and/or discrete you were that YOU in fact have been (or could be) the creeper in someone else's eyes??? hahahaha I suppose its a tolerance thing and well? Some are freaks themselves and may have super low tolerance + likely horrible judgment/instinct to boot.....lol@myself

 

Gosh, I'd hate to think that I could overstep totally unknowingly. Especially while in fun, fun, fun vacation mode. Sailing at non-peak times (less family with children) might gear one towards assuming you're all like-minded or something silly like that. Damn, now you all have me thinking.....

 

I haven't cruised solo yet. But I think because I do enjoy some time to myself I naturally worry a bit about becoming the person who invites myself along at the wrong time.

 

Last fall when I was supposed to be cruising with my friend and her niece I spent a most of the time on my own. There was a few people that I bumped into from time to time.