Burial at sea

[serendipity1499]

After attending my Dear Sister-in-law's 2 day funeral in N.Y. last week, I emphasized to my family that I do not want any one to visit me.. It would be OK to have a memorial service later.. But when I leave this world, I want to be immediately cremated & would like my family to eventually take a nice long cruise on HAL & bury me at sea..

It was so terribly sad for my DH & me to see his Brother, who is not doing well physically & mentally at all.. The one thing which comforts us, is that my Brother-in-law has six wonderful kids all married & 12 Grandchildren/great grandchildren who are very attentive & will keep him company & will try to keep him healthy in his home..Two of the girls are Nurses & most of the kids were there when their Mother passed away..

Have already pulled up & printed Indycal's thread when she buried her Mom at Sea on the Oosterdam & also the TSA rules of traveling (by Air) with crematory remains for our family, just in case they have to fly.. Just in doing some research it gives me comfort that the HAL crew will be good to my family & help them send me out to sea..

Have also been looking for biodegradable urns & think it might be wise to order one, so they would not have to experience what my Sister-in-Law's kids had to go through with picking out the casket, flowers, & having a full day/evening viewing in a funeral parlor before the church service..

Betty

[Krazy Kruizers]

You are wise in settling your funeral arrangements now so that everyone knows your wishes and there won't be any guessing as to what you want or any foul ups.

There is just the 2 of us and we have our final plans all in place.

Hopefully no one in your family has to think anytime soon about fulfilling your final plans.

[sail7seas]

I know for sure HAL permits creamated ashes to be spread at sea but, of course, prior arrangments must be made.

 

I have read/heard of very sensitive, beautiful services conducted for the purpose of burial at sea of ashes.

 

[RuthC]

My sympathies to your family. Remember that time is a great healer.

You are wise to want your plans set in place, and to do as much as you can in advance. I do understand the thought of being laid to rest at sea, and know that HAL will do a respectful final service for you.

[DFD!]

Serendipity, I completely agree with the thoughts you express in your first paragraph. I too have already made my arrangements, written them down and given given copies to those who will be in charge.

 

Biodegradble containers are easily found on the internet.

 

I'm just sorry that I'll miss the cruise and the celebration. It should be fun.

[kakalina]

We have done this with HAL and they are extremely accommodating.

[Vict0riann]

It evidently also happens frequently on our ferries - the ferry will stop en route for the family to spread ashes overboard.

 

A very good idea.

[Boytjie]

HAL did a wonderful job when we scattered friend's ashes on an RSVP charter. That's what I want too.

[durangoscots]

Actually, I have been looking at the reef cremation. That is your cremated remains are made into a reef. These reefs are been placed into a number of places where reefs have been damaged or destroyed. May as well do something useful with myself.

 

Susan

[Keith1010]

It is smart to decide what you want for your funeral and leaving written instructions for others.

 

Keith

[1of4]

I think your plans show thoughfulness and great love for your family.

 

A word of experience as all jurisdictions are different. My grandmother had made all arrangements through a funeral home and when she passed away at 94.5 years of age all my mother had to do was call the funeral parlor and everything was done. So my father "thought" he had made the same arrangements but he was in a different province and apparently the arrangements he made were with the crematoria and not the funeral parlor which were in the same physical location but different from an administration point of view where they lived at the time. So there was my mother in 2007 after dad died very quickly of lung cancer having to make all the funeral arrangements when she thought it was already done. I stepped in and did it for her but it was a very expensive lesson. Since dad had made arrangements for both he and mum I knew what to expect when mum died on December 21 last year.

 

I am just sharing my experience so you are aware. It is a wonderful idea, but double check to ensure that everything is covered in your arrangements or your family will be left to make the decisions you thought had been made.

 

I thought this very poor of the facility that dad had chosen. They should have made it clear that the funeral (service, embalming, casket or urn, etc.) were seperate from the plot, headstone and lettering that he pre-paid. All I could think of was how horribly upset dad would have been knowing he put mum through that when he thought he had taken care of it. It helped that I was part of writing the legislation for the province of Ontario that funeral parlors must follow. I knew the rules where mum and my sister were lost and I felt the funeral home stepped over the line and were bordering on inappropriate.

 

I am currently selecting photos and music, and writing down all my wishes so my family will not find themselves in the same situation. I will have made my wishes very clear...now they may not choose to follow them but that is a different story! :rolleyes:

[sapper1]

Knowing a loved one's ashes have been scattered at sea is so much more comforting than thinking of them in the ground.

When my first husband died in the winter we waited until spring and then the children and I were taken by friends in their sailboat out to the Deer Island/ Campobello area. We scattered my husband's ashes and followed that with a floral spray. We then cracked a bottle of wine and had a toast to good times past.

 

I know the OP will find the scattering of ashes to be a very peaceful tribute, especially when it is done at a later date.

 

My very best wishes to you.

[PatsyAnne]

I think your plans show thoughfulness and great love for your family.

 

A word of experience as all jurisdictions are different. ...

 

I am currently selecting photos and music, and writing down all my wishes so my family will not find themselves in the same situation. I will have made my wishes very clear...now they may not choose to follow them but that is a different story! :rolleyes:

My parents in Texas also made their arrangements many years ago for a traditional burial. When my dad was in the hospital a couple of years ago, we knew that there was a choice he would have preferred that involved cremation and were prepared to pay the difference. Long story short, Texas requires a change like this to be signed by the person and notarized, and my dad was no longer able to sign. We went with the original plans, both burial and memorial services went well, and the funeral home contract covered everything it should have.

 

This isn't a sad story, just a heads up to make sure you don't have anything on official record that contradicts your current wishes. No bad guys here. Texas was just honoring its request on record from my dad (through his contract with the funeral home) and I respect that.

[sail7seas]

A true HAL Story which occured about 3 or so years ago.......

 

DH and I were returning from HAL cruise and had landed at Boston's Logan Airport. While waiting at the carousel for our luggage, I noticed a senior woman with another woman who looked about the age to be the other's daughter and on their carryons, I saw HAL luggage tags.

 

They appeared to be lovely folks and seeing I was so close, I made comment about the HAL luggage tag and they told me they were returning from a cruise on a 'dam' ship I won't name. We had been on Maasdam and I said so.

 

They told me they had a particularly moving experience by spreading DH/dear dad's ashes at sea and the crew/staff on HAL had been magnificent to them. I was interested and 'all ears'.

 

They told the chaplain made a lovely service, CD, GRM, Events Planner, and some other crew/staff were present and the florist provided a lovely wreath they put overboard. They too made a toast and the Mom and daughter had such a look of peace on their faces I was mesmerized listening to them.

 

She raved on and on about the wonderful GRM who had put this event together and, of course, I asked who it was. The GRM is a very good friend and it didn't surprise me in the least how helpful GRM was.

 

Immediately upon coming home, I e-mailed GRM to tell the story while it was still fresh in his/her mind and he/she would know exactly about whom I was speaking. I wanted them to know what a difference they made in those lives and how hugely appreciative they were.

 

What are the odds I would have been standing beside them at luggage claim, would have noticed the tag, spoken up and been such friends with the GRM and able to let them know they 'did good' for those folks?

 

THAT is the best part of travel IMO....... it's always about the people.

 

[Typhoon1]

We have already pre planned, and the mortuary offered scattering at sea from a private yacht for a surprisingly nominal amount.

[serendipity1499]

You are wise in settling your funeral arrangements now so that everyone knows your wishes and there won't be any guessing as to what you want or any foul ups.

 

There is just the 2 of us and we have our final plans all in place.

 

Hopefully no one in your family has to think anytime soon about fulfilling your final plans.

 

Oh I'm not planning to go just yet & hopefully it will be a long time as have lots more to do...

 

My sympathies to your family. Remember that time is a great healer.

 

You are wise to want your plans set in place, and to do as much as you can in advance. I do understand the thought of being laid to rest at sea, and know that HAL will do a respectful final service for you.

 

Thank you Ruth..

 

Thank you all for your encouragement.. I actually did not make funeral arrangements.. All I did was express my last wishes about my funeral and gave my DH & Executors loose burial instructions.

I advised the Executor(s), to use some of the funds left over to take a cruise on HAL & bury me at sea.. I told them to call HAL to make the arrangements.. Also advised them they could have a memorial service only if it made them feel better..

When DH received the printed instructions from me, he thought I should have left it up to him or the Executor to do what he/they wanted.. He said he wanted to have me stuffed :D:D & I said that I didn't think his next wife would take too kindly to that idea.. He is dead set against me purchasing an Urn now though, & he's also very uncomfortable discussing it..So will have to let the discussion rest..

Have placed the envelope with instructions in our car, my desk & our freezer, not with my will! On our freezer we have a little magnet which reads

" Living wills for XXXX & Betty XXXXX in bottom Freezer front of basket" This was suggested by someone who is in the fire/police department.. I placed my burial instructions with it in the zip lock bag..

 

Betty

[Lovely other]

my condolences to your family .

 

i think it's always prudent to plan your own funeral if you have particular ideas of what your wishes are and also so save your family the upset and stress. After being diagnosed with cancer a few years ago i made all my arrangements (leaving my body to science) and made sure my husband knew my wishes. not being religious i particularly wanted to make sure that any memorial service was not religion based. some people commented that it was a morbid thing to do but for me i need to feel in control of things. luckily i survived but the plans are still in place for when my time comes.

 

having just dealt with my beloved grandmothers funeral and the ensuing fallout from differing views, including disagreements between her children about everything from the coffin to flowers and music, i would encourage everyone to put plans firmly down on paper so there can be no misunderstanding.

 

once again I am sorry for your loss

 

m x

[Himself]

When the time comes for me to part this vale of tears, my mortal remains will rest in St. Joseph Cemetery in Manhattan, Illinois--the garden of the world--until the glorious resurrection on the last day. If the Lord wants me creamated he will see that I die in a firey crash--which I hope does not happen.