My dad just died, advice needed.

[Gizzy02]

Hello,

 

I am very sorry to hear of your Dad passing away! It's so hard! It's crazy reading this as a very similar thing happened with me back in Feb 2010.

 

My Mom passed away from liver cancer 6 days before we (my, hubby & 2 boys) were about to go go Mexico for 7 nights. We had the trip planned for along time as we don't get to go every year somewhere like that. We had the funeral on that Wed & drove down to the City where we flew out of the next morning.

 

I also had insurance, so we could of cancelled too. My Husband and I talked about it and decided to go ahead and go. My Mom would of wanted me to go...I knew that.

 

We had a good time...it just felt different...just knowing what we had been through. Your Dad will want you to be happy and enjoy life w/your family.

 

Good luck w/your decision.

Take Care!

 

Linda

[barbaragrace]

So very sorry for your loss. I'm sure your heart is breaking.

Last year, the day before we had plans for a cruise, we had to put our first dog to sleep. It was a hard decision but we went. We did a lot of crying and did NOT sit with anyone at dinner time. Please don't think that I am comparing your loss of your father with what we went through last year. But I feel that it helped by getting away for a little while.

<<prayers>>

[Gig103]

I'm sorry for your loss, that is a hard decision and I hope that you find peace with whatever you choose. Personally, and I can't say it with conviction, I'd probably go on the trip even knowing I'd be in the doldrums. So long as you are with your family, grieving at home isn't very different from on the ship, and maybe the lively environment will help. And if not, you can always retreat to the cabin.

 

:(

[RN4Nsy]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you should go on your trip. Your dad would want you to go. You will probably find many moments that remind you of him and there will be tearful times. I am glad you posted this question. My Dad is in failing health and we are leaving in January. I have asked myself this question as well. Let us know how the trip went.

[Paul65]

We have contacted Royal Caribbean and they are allowing us to bring his ashes onboard in a biodegradable urn to have a burial at sea. I think my dad would have LOVED that, he was all about meaningful things. I read about it here, or I never would have known about it.

 

Thank you again to all the wonderful cruise critic'ers! :)

 

That sounds like a nice thing, but don't rush into it. I assume there are other family members who will not be with you on this cruise. Don't rush to do this, if it could cause hard feeling with other family members. There is not rush to do a such a ceremony with the ashes. (Or, another option may be to take just a portion with you on this trip.)

 

It sounded great at first read, then I started thinking about how you said you were leaving for port the same day as the funeral/memorial service.

[jcc1025]

I agree with many who have posted. This is a difficult decision. First bless your dad and your family.

What do you think you dad would want you to do? While it is hard to say I suspect he would not want you to greave but to celebrate the time you had together. To remember the good times and to have a good life. That is what I would wish for my family. To have a special time in his memory and to hold a celebration, as someone mentioned, in his honor on board. Toast him, have a dance for him, throw a flower overboard and know he is watching over you and smiling on you.

Bess wished to you and your family, whatever you decide to do will be the right decision.

[babyher]

My condolences to the OP and all the posters here that have suffered losses. I agree with many others here, you will know what is best.

 

I also would go, We all grieve in our own way, we all handle it in our own way.

 

I think about my dad everyday since he passed away many many years ago. But years can go by between visits to his grave

 

My Mom and one of my sisters go all the time, his birthday, anniversaries, holidays . God forbid there isn't a flower or something on his grave, they have to get there , it will look like no one cares .

 

There is no right or wrong way to mourn.

 

God bless you and your family at this time and enjoy your cruise.

[lovn2liv]

This is such an emotional time and the end of a long hard battle I'm sure for all of you.

 

My Mom passed right before Christmas. She loved Christmas and my family's tradition was always to get together on Christmas Eve.

 

We all really weren't sure what we wanted to do, for it was a difficult time for everyone.

 

We decided to continue on with our tradition and we just didn't know what to expect. Well it was a wonderful wonderful night and our Mom was there in spirit, healthy and not suffering any longer.

 

Your father will be joining you on that cruise in spirit and loving the fact that you are taking care of your family. It's time to decompress.

 

Best wishes.

[abridalmaven]

Sorry for your loss.

 

We cruised three weeks after our 19 year old daughter Jess was killed in a fatal car accident. Just a week after her funeral.

 

We thought long and hard whether we should go taking in consideration we live in the UK and the cruise was on the Voyager around New Zealand.

 

We chose to have a table for two as the question of do you have children nearly always comes up. We felt we didn't want to put any one in a uncomfortable position. Jess often cruised with us which I guess made it harder especially when we looked at the menus and saw things like soufflé which Jess always change how you pronounced it. I can remember seeing it and my husband and I just looked at each other and made a quick exit.

 

I would also recommend making sure you have a min of a balcony cabin. It will give each of you to have that moment in time!!! and there will be many.

 

 

Nearly a year on do I regret going on that cruise soon afterwards? No, we don't

It gave us time together, and moments to escape reality which is so so important.

 

We now buy something from each cruise to hang on Jess's memory tree in our garden in her memory.

 

I hope you go and enjoy your cruise and do special things on it in memory of your dad

 

So very true. I felt our cruise was very healing for us. It brought is closer together and away from everyone we know. We did share a table with others who actually made our trip a delight. Talking to strangers is easier in many ways. No judgments.

 

 

 

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[welldone60]

Hi all. :(

 

My dad passed away this morning, he was in what should have been a fatal car accident 5/25/12, had a traumatic brain injury and they brought him back. He has been in a long term care facility since and has really suffered.

 

Anyway, we leave Sunday on our cruise. We have trip insurance, so we could cancel, but I don't know if I should. We're going to have the memorial service on Saturday, so we can still drive down to Port Canaveral Saturday night.

 

Has anyone ever cruised that soon after losing someone they loved?

 

I'm worried I won't have a good time. WORSE, I'm worried I WILL have a good time, and what kind of daughter would that make me??

 

But I'm trying to think of my husband and kids as well....we have planned and planned and looked forward to this since January. We were going to spend a couple of days at Disney beforehand, but I did go ahead and cancel that.

 

Thoughts welcome. My brother said, "Daddy would want you to go on your trip" and I laughed and said, "No he wouldn't!" :p

 

I just want to do the right thing by everyone, although my husband says I should do the right thing by me. But what me wants to do is just go to bed for several days, so I'm probably not thinking rationally right now.

 

 

Sorry for your loss.

 

Not a cruise, but we did have a short vacation planned when our 20 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver. After going through all the trying times of the funeral and such, we were glad to just get away by ourselves. Not that we enjoyed the vacation (we didn't) just the fact that we did not have to deal with all the well wishes, questions etc. Some thought it was strange for us to get away, but for us, it was the best thing.

 

Only you can decide what is best for you.