.......idle jottings

[Jim Avery]

what dwarves ?

 

Yes, very similar only they are noisier and smell worse.:eek::D

[Jim Avery]

what dwarves ?

 

Yes, very similar only they are noisier and they smell bad.:eek::D

[ho-hum]

Dear Ho-Hum and other writers on this thread,

 

It has been an utmost pleasure reading your wonderful lines, many thanks from germany in very early and warm spring.

 

Mein lieber Ho-Hum, es war mit äußerstem Vergnügen Ihre wunderbare Zeile zu lesen, vielen Dank aus Deutschland im sehr frühen und warmen Frühling.

 

What lovely sentiments; greatly appreciated.

 

Hopefully you will like the following observation about our respective countrymen (and European colleagues) which was prompted by some observations on another thread disparaging large groups of various nationalities: any large group of any nationality can be a tad trying even for those within the group too !

 

So:

 

In Heaven…

The mechanics are German

The chefs are French

The police are British

The lovers are Italian

And everything is organised by the Swiss.

 

In Hell…

The mechanics are French !

The police are German !

The chefs are British !

The lovers are Swiss !

And everything is organised by the Italians !!!!!! (Greeks might be contenders too).

 

Love to hear anybody else's (gently) humorous observations.

 

 

Was schönen Empfindungen; sehr zu schätzen wissen.

Sie belegen, dass ihre Mitbürger machen Sinn für Humor haben !

Ich hoffe, sie wird wie die folgende Beobachtung hinsichtlich unserer jeweiligen Landsleute (und europäischen Kollegen), die aufgefordert wurde durch einige Bemerkungen zu einem anderen Thread herabsetzende große Gruppen von verschiedenen Nationalitäten.

 

Im Himmel…

Die Mechaniker sind Deutsche

Die Chefs haben französische

Polizisten sind britische

Die Liebenden sind Italienisch und

alles ist organisiert von der Schweizer.

 

In der Hölle…

Die Mechaniker sind Französisch !

Die Polizei ist Deutsch!

Die Köche sind Briten!

Die Liebenden sind Schweizer!

Und alles ist organisiert von der Italiener! ! ! ! ! ! !! (Mit den Griechen möglicherweise Anwärter zu).

[ho-hum]

HO HUM PRODUCTIONS in association with SDYC

 

Are happy to be offer a sumptuous prize to the 4000th viewer of this thread !

 

Simply post on this thread " I claim prize as 4000th viewer" and if you are the 4000th viewer then your prize awaits.

Exclusion Notice

Previous posters on this thread are excluded from this competition.

Posters who are close friends to ho hum have a very good chance of winning.

 

So if you have not posted before, it is easy to set up (takes minutes). You need consent in writing from BOTH parents and a £ 100 donation to "support ho hum".

 

In case of a tie. You will need to answer this question:

 

WHY ARE SEA DREAMERS SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS "SIDE SADDLERS" ?

[gcmv]

So:

 

In Heaven…

The mechanics are German

The chefs are French

The police are British

The lovers are Italian

And everything is organised by the Swiss.

 

In Hell…

The mechanics are French !

The police are German !

The chefs are British !

The lovers are Swiss !

And everything is organised by the Italians !!!!!! (Greeks might be contenders too).

 

I didn't find an American - neither in heaven nor in hell - where are those lovely people???

 

Uuups - I forgot - they are all on SEADREAM ... :D

[Jim Avery]

HO HUM PRODUCTIONS in association with SDYC

 

Are happy to be offer a sumptuous prize to the 4000th viewer of this thread !

 

Simply post on this thread " I claim prize as 4000th viewer" and if you are the 4000th viewer then your prize awaits.

Exclusion Notice

Previous posters on this thread are excluded from this competition.

Posters who are close friends to ho hum have a very good chance of winning.

 

So if you have not posted before, it is easy to set up (takes minutes). You need consent in writing from BOTH parents and a £ 100 donation to "support ho hum".

 

In case of a tie. You will need to answer this question:

 

WHY ARE SEA DREAMERS SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS "SIDE SADDLERS" ?

 

I have been excluded from worse things.:eek: As far as "side saddlers" is that on horses or bar stools? Can I ask the lovely Jane for help?:eek::D

[ho-hum]

...................how on earth will you manage a football match after a bottle of champagne and lunch? Surely you will be letting your team mates down.

Imagine the post match interview w................................cribed him to a 'hangover from hell'.

 

Hope you had a pleasant flight home after a fabulous cruise. Did the plane spin too, just wondering?:)P

 

With gentlemanly dignity, ho hum shall pass over the sporting goading and with great haste go on to more important matters: Emirates 1st class !!!

 

Will you be on the A380 at any time ?

Well you know you have a limousine service collecting you from your home (or is it mansion !) and taking you to your hotel or YWCA / campsite (ho hum has been asked to go "glamping": still deciding).

 

Ho hum dare not say too much about Emirates. Do you really want to know ? Have pictures too you know.

Because it will be such a treat ! Big time !

DP 2004 !

Caviar with all the trimmings (must have Grey Goose with it tho' !).

Lady travelling with ho-hum had two servings !

Now the flight attendants from Singapore to Dubai were good (not great) but the attendants between Dubai to LHR were quite ordinary (so far New Zealand flight attendants are the best and that was in economy).

The cubicle is so well equipped, the huge TV is fantastic and with an amazing range of entertainment.

Flat bed naturallement.

Shower on A380 in a huge shower-room restricted to two people !

 

Poppy you must be prepared to demand (nicely) everything !

But dont accept the date and Arabic coffee they proffer before take off: it will ruin the Dom Perignon dahhliiinnnggg !

Dont eat beforehand (for a day at least) so you enjoy every meal (which takes a staggering 20 minutes to cook, aka zapping in a m/wave): maybe have three starters, main course, cheeses are wonderful, then deserts (at least three: there are only three).

The cubicles are chintzy, in an Arabic opulent sort of way.

Not ho hum's taste but you cant deny the detail.

And unlike BA, your bags are prioritised (first on carousel: hate waiting for bags when you're last after flying front end ! Flying back with Jet was even better; they collected bags and whisked you thro’ Fast Track ! Best service ever in that regard.).

 

Emirates (1st) lounge in Dubai is huge and long and quite a trek and the transfer was far too short to fully indulge (wines are amazing).

Ho hum loved the lounge but nothing compares to the Virgin Upper Class lounge at LHR however ho hum is not a fan of Virgin's narrow inward facing arranged plane seating.

In the early years the Virgin Upper Class plane layout was great. Met Eve (Richard's ma. By the way he's been on SD you know. Have a great story about that and photo, if you wanna know). She was on a flight once: loves her whisky. What an inspiration. Have a great story about her and Richard too. Also spent a week with him. Nice guy.

And is'nt that what travelling is about ?

 

They say Singapore is best but at a price.

You will love Emirates. Hope its a long flight !

 

 

PS

Saw Miranda (Hart) in Brighton last night. Such fun". She would love Sea Dream. And so much material for her ! Sea Dream give this lady a free ticket. Ideally for the Mumbai to Athens trip which ho hum and Gyro will be on.

 

Ho hum has thoughtfully incorporated a YouTube clip below. The non-Brits out there often say to ho hum how much they love British humour BUT Britain exports the dross of humour. There are so many better comedies in the UK which never go beyond our boundaries.

To all non-Brits: this is exactly how some Brits are. Worrying.

 

[ctbjr1309]

(so far New Zealand flight attendants are the best and that was in economy).

 

I am perplexed. ho hum in economy on NZ? That is most definitely not the ho hum I know. Say it ain't so.....

[Jim Avery]

I am perplexed. ho hum in economy on NZ? That is most definitely not the ho hum I know. Say it ain't so.....

 

Was he lost? Under the influence of SeaDream champagne?

[commodoredave]

With gentlemanly dignity, ho hum shall pass over the sporting goading and with great haste go on to more important matters: Emirates 1st class !!!

 

Will you be on the A380 at any time ?

Well you know you have a limousine service collecting you from your home (or is it mansion !) and taking you to your hotel or YWCA / campsite (ho hum has been asked to go "glamping": still deciding).

 

Ho hum dare not say too much about Emirates. Do you really want to know ? Have pictures too you know.

Because it will be such a treat ! Big time !

DP 2004 !

Caviar with all the trimmings (must have Grey Goose with it tho' !).

Lady travelling with ho-hum had two servings !

Now the flight attendants from Singapore to Dubai were good (not great) but the attendants between Dubai to LHR were quite ordinary (so far New Zealand flight attendants are the best and that was in economy).

The cubicle is so well equipped, the huge TV is fantastic and with an amazing range of entertainment.

Flat bed naturallement.

Shower on A380 in a huge shower-room restricted to two people !

 

Poppy you must be prepared to demand (nicely) everything !

But dont accept the date and Arabic coffee they proffer before take off: it will ruin the Dom Perignon dahhliiinnnggg !

Dont eat beforehand (for a day at least) so you enjoy every meal (which takes a staggering 20 minutes to cook, aka zapping in a m/wave): maybe have three starters, main course, cheeses are wonderful, then deserts (at least three: there are only three).

The cubicles are chintzy, in an Arabic opulent sort of way.

Not ho hum's taste but you cant deny the detail.

And unlike BA, your bags are prioritised (first on carousel: hate waiting for bags when you're last after flying front end ! Flying back with Jet was even better; they collected bags and whisked you thro’ Fast Track ! Best service ever in that regard.).

 

Emirates (1st) lounge in Dubai is huge and long and quite a trek and the transfer was far too short to fully indulge (wines are amazing).

Ho hum loved the lounge but nothing compares to the Virgin Upper Class lounge at LHR however ho hum is not a fan of Virgin's narrow inward facing arranged plane seating.

In the early years the Virgin Upper Class plane layout was great. Met Eve (Richard's ma. By the way he's been on SD you know. Have a great story about that and photo, if you wanna know). She was on a flight once: loves her whisky. What an inspiration. Have a great story about her and Richard too. Also spent a week with him. Nice guy.

And is'nt that what travelling is about ?

 

They say Singapore is best but at a price.

You will love Emirates. Hope its a long flight !

 

 

PS

Saw Miranda (Hart) in Brighton last night. Such fun". She would love Sea Dream. And so much material for her ! Sea Dream give this lady a free ticket. Ideally for the Mumbai to Athens trip which ho hum and Gyro will be on.

 

Ho hum has thoughtfully incorporated a YouTube clip below. The non-Brits out there often say to ho hum how much they love British humour BUT Britain exports the dross of humour. There are so many better comedies in the UK which never go beyond our boundaries.

To all non-Brits: this is exactly how some Brits are. Worrying.

 

 

Dave from Toronto here, one of the notorious melons, I mean felons!

DW being English loves Miranda Hart and has converted me to British shows. We would definitely return to SD for a Miranda Cruise. Please advise SD head honcho Bob "I don't understand Norway" Lepisto with your suggestion. He (and the rest of us) will be laughing all the way to the next port.

[ho-hum]

I am perplexed. ho hum in economy on NZ? That is most definitely not the ho hum I know. Say it ain't so.....

 

Haha

 

'tis true..........was a while ago mind

[ho-hum]

Hey everybody !

Ho hum just noticed something. Something amazing. You’ll never guess.

 

A certain gentle man will soon have been a contributor on CC for 10 years: the anniversary of his first post is approaching (16 April, 2004) !

Wow !

He lives in the Valley of the SUN !

Truly he is an “ancient" Aztec God !

 

He even pinched Superman’s lady. What a guy !

 

He has done how many posts ? Over 4350 ! Are you kiddin’ me !

Again WOW !

 

Ho hum just found his first posting.

 

"Well, we be sailing out on the morning tide from the Olde Country to the New Worlde,

Cows, hens, pigs, cheese, biscuits and rum are all onboard.

The crew, press ganged whilst supping in "The Dog and Duck” late last night during lock in, look a miserable bunch.

Except for a few of the ole faithful crew:

Roger the cabin boy

Seaman Staines.

And

Master Bates

Cap'n Bligh will have em licked into shape as he sets his sextant.

 

Our quarters are basic but pooping from the poop deck will be a trial for the wifey (no balance, you see. Especially as she has a wooden leg.).

We have taken our own vittels to fight off the scurvy.

Just seen those snotty, filthy wretched creatures onboard. Someone should write about it !

Spoke to a fellow passenger about a new fandangle piece of equipment called an "engine" !

Wont ever catch on. What if this engine thingy breaks down, then what ?

Stuff a nonsense.

 

Our itinerary is not known. It is an inaugural voyage.

After the end of the world, who knows what we'll discover !

A man from these parts discovered leaves, as if we dont have enough ere ! Just wait til Autumn !

Well he got these leaves, wrapped them in a cut off piece of newspaper.

You'll never guess what he did next ?

No he didnt shove it up his backside !

He put it in his mouth.

No not after he shoved it up his backside.

I told you, stop going on about backsides will you.

No, he put it in his mouth and then guess what he did ?

Set light to it.

Yes how did you know ?

Well I thought what is the most stupid thing you can do.

Well its all the rage ere in Blighty"

 

 

AND THE NAME OF THIS SUPER HERO: Jim Avery

 

Thanks for your contribution over the years, Jim. Keep em coming.

 

On a serious note, Jim.

Can you talk a little about the time.

Highs ?

Things you love about SD ?

Lows ?

Things you are not so keen on about SD ?

Chums you made (respecting privacy, naturally) ?

Future of SD ?

Favourite places visited ?

Places you would not care to return ?

Best voyage ?

Worst voyage ?

Favourite crew ?

Worst crew (yes ho hum knows it is almost impossible. No names needed.) ?

 

And ho hum has'nt even got started !

Ho hum's certain a lot of people would be VERY interested.

Take your time: it will be worth the wait.

[ctbjr1309]

Haha

 

'tis true..........was a while ago mind

 

Well, color me shocked and appalled. Not to mention stunned and speechless.

[Jim Avery]

The Dog and Duck. Now that brings back memories. A bit like the TOY Bar but without the ocean and with added ancient timbers. A good place to start a sea voyage though. Whether you want to go or not.:eek: Thanks for the memories Guvnor. Not quite as posh as The Bell in your Posh Part of Olde Blighty.

Edited April 4, 2014 by Jim Avery

[ho-hum]

The Dog and Duck. Now that brings back memories. A bit like the TOY Bar but without the ocean and with added ancient timbers. A good place to start a sea voyage though. Whether you want to go or not.:eek: Thanks for the memories Guvnor. Not quite as posh as The Bell in your Posh Part of Olde Blighty.

 

 

Come on Jim, lets be having your thoughts.

 

Highs ?

Things you love about SD ?

Lows ?

Things you are not so keen on about SD ?

Chums you made (respecting privacy, naturally) ?

Future of SD ?

Favourite places visited ?

Places you would not care to return ?

Best voyage ?

Worst voyage ?

Favourite crew ?

[ho-hum]

Well, color me shocked and appalled. Not to mention stunned and speechless.

 

 

Dont think you have heard the end of this.

 

Witty reply coming as soon as this Burgundy is finished.

[frequent traveler]

Ho-hum,

I'm sure I will trigger some sort of response that I probably deserve but won't like but I swear I don't remember you being near as much fun when Jane and I were . . . Oh well, I shan't say due to the bad example, but we drove poor Enes crazy as he tried to deliver lunch while it "was raining men" at the Toy on a crossing.

FT

[gyroscopic]

Thanks for the clip ho-hum! Miranda is not well known in these parts and I had a few snorts and giggles watching it!

Heading to Mumbai in 10 days on the 380 so getting excited now!

See you there!

 

Cant wait to read Jim Averys thoughts...

[Jim Avery]

Come on Jim, lets be having your thoughts.

 

Highs ?

Things you love about SD ?

Lows ?

Things you are not so keen on about SD ?

Chums you made (respecting privacy, naturally) ?

Future of SD ?

Favourite places visited ?

Places you would not care to return ?

Best voyage ?

Worst voyage ?

Favourite crew ?

 

Ok Mr Hum on the condition that you owe me a pint of best bitter at the Bell. Deal?

Highs. Probably the first voyage last night when we all arrived after dinner at the TOY Bar in our pajamas One fine Texas lady brought a bunch of felt marker pens and we all autographed each others pajamas. Have mine for framing if I ever get that Man Cave.

Things I love about SD. I have to start with the crew. I have never had such good treatment afloat or ashore at any hotel or ship as has been the norm on SD. The food ain't bad either.

Lowest was the cruise with 30 kids. Hands down.:eek:

I am not so keen on the flexible SD policies on kids and large groups. It can really screw up a good thing when they don't stick to the adult couples format.

As far as chums, most post regularly here. What happens on SD stays on SD (mostly). I do have chums I keep in touch with on both sides of the Pond. Never seems to happen on other lines.

I have posted a bit about thoughts of the future of SD. SDI is 30. SD II is 29. Getting long in the tooth for ships that have sailed continually. If SD does not commit to a full refit of the twins, especially engines and below decks equipment, I fear we only have a few years left. A newbuild would necessarily be larger I fear and that would make it something other than "our SeaDream".

Favourite places started with the short lived Mexican itinerary. Even though we have been to both sides of Mexico numerous times, that voyage was fantastic. Anywhere in the BVI and then Portofino.

We would not care to return to Costa Rica for reasons explained in my recent review. Every other stop has been great or has been a "sea day".

Best voyage was our Mexican voyage. 59 passengers, 98 crew, no kids or large groups. As close to perfect as you can get.

Worst voyage was a mere 4 months later. 30 kids and large groups. A real mess. We vowed never to return to SD as you can blow $10k+ just about anywhere and have a better time. Saving grace, we met Frequent Traveler and ZQVOL. Thought FT was going to strangle one of the little darlin's during a talk in the salon during cocktail hour.

Favorite crew is impossible. I did miss the earlier crew of Europeans that seemed to be there for several years. Now, except for a great core of pros, there seems to be a fair amount of turnover at the end of each contract. Just the nature of the business I guess. SD lost a lot of the original Europeans when the dollar began its slide. It has to be difficult living in the Euro zone and being paid in dollars. At least lately.

That's about it. Our next will probably be back in the Caribbean where SD is at its very best. Without beating the dead horse too much and starting a new war, I want to see some solid policy hopefully allowing me to choose not to be on board with kids or large groups. Time will tell.

[ho-hum]

Ok Mr Hum on the condition that you owe me a pint of best bitter at the Bell. Deal?

Highs. Probably the first voyage last night when we all arrived after dinner at the TOY Bar in our for ........d starting a new war, I want to see some solid policy hopefully allowing me to choose not to be on board with kids or large groups. Time will tell.

 

A pint awaits you, old chum.

 

Really appreciated the review. Sure believe others do too.

 

As far as policy change is concerned by SD.

It will never happen and we ALL know why (Emperor's clothes).

[ho-hum]

Ho-hum,

I'm sure I will trigger some sort of response that I probably deserve but won't like but I swear I don't remember you being near as much fun when Jane and I were . . . Oh well, I shan't say due to the bad example, but we drove poor Enes crazy as he tried to deliver lunch while it "was raining men" at the Toy on a crossing.

FT

 

"......some sort of response that I probably deserve but wont like"

 

You bet yeah !

 

Now before ho hum replies, kindly furnish more details about "it's raining men" moment at the TOYB. Was this on a crossing around lunch time about 5 years ago. If so then ho hum has the photos ! Because ho hum took said photos !

 

He has one of an American lady attempting to rip the shirt of a (then) young Enes to gain a closer view of his pecs !

Again said lady dancing on a table !

And those are the ones, one can talk about.

 

So you are right sweetheart, compared to that display, ho hum may have seemed a tad retiring !

 

What have you started ? Which photo will ho hum release first ? So many !

[Jim Avery]

I believe I have seen said American Woman (appropriately sung by The Guess Who) on another voyage. I heard about the "Raining Men" incident. All I can say is it would not be wise to get between her and what she wants.:eek::D

[zqvol]

"......some sort of response that I probably deserve but wont like"

 

You bet yeah !

 

Now before ho hum replies, kindly furnish more details about "it's raining men" moment at the TOYB. Was this on a crossing around lunch time about 5 years ago. If so then ho hum has the photos ! Because ho hum took said photos !

 

He has one of an American lady attempting to rip the shirt of a (then) young Enes to gain a closer view of his pecs !

Again said lady dancing on a table !

And those are the ones, one can talk about.

 

So you are right sweetheart, compared to that display, ho hum may have seemed a tad retiring !

 

What have you started ? Which photo will ho hum release first ? So many !

 

I want the pictures:D:D:D

[Jim Avery]

A pint awaits you, old chum.

 

Really appreciated the review. Sure believe others do too.

 

As far as policy change is concerned by SD.

It will never happen and we ALL know why (Emperor's clothes).

 

Agreed nothing is likely to change as far as kids/groups but I wish I had the choice of opting out near sailing date without the current onerous penalties if they booked kids and/or large groups. Not too much to ask of a billionaire Emperor is it?

[ho-hum]

I want the pictures:D:D:D

 

You betcha zqvol !

 

Unfortunately due to the adult and graphic nature of the photos, they cannot be published on the internet.

 

But send a stamped adressed envelope to:

 

HO HUM, POSH PART, UK

 

With a consent form signed by BOTH parents and they will be sent to you.

 

 

FT: come out, come out, wherever you are.