Advice to Overseas Cruisers coming to Australia

[Bpos]

Why is she punishing you for the other persons remark.:confused:

 

Thank you for your concern

 

My wife took the key away for my own wellbeing - but she also emptied the beer fridge and replaced the contents with non alcoholic beverages - and my favourite Aussie Rules football team is winning in Melbourne as we speak

 

OMG it is no wonder I am what I am

 

I will be seeking your help shortly - more about that later

Edited June 4, 2016 by Bpos
spelling

[Adidas4fun]

Am I invisible?

[GUT2407]

.

What is this "misting" of which you speak gut? :confused:

 

Is it only allowed in RH car seats?

 

What have I been missing, is it a form of "play misty for me" on the old eight track, cassette player, RCA in-car phonograph on board that Stutz Bearcat of yours?

 

Does Mrs gut still have to walk out front of the vehicle waving a red flag? :eek:

 

Cheers r

 

:cool:

 

.

 

 

Sorry "sitting".

 

And of course Mrs Gut doesn't walk out in front, what rubbish is that?

 

She knows her place and walks behind like an obedient little creature, I wish she was.

 

Then I wake up.

[mrs and mrs]

Am I invisible?

 

No but you will get used to people shunning you at times,it hurts i know but,when you fall back in favour,you will feel wonderful.;);)

 

Now back to the Cunard threads

Edited June 4, 2016 by mrs and mrs
spelling

[GUT2407]

Thank you for your concern

 

My wife took the key away for my own wellbeing - but she also emptied the beer fridge and replaced the contents with non alcoholic beverages - and my favourite Aussie Rules football team is winning in Melbourne as we speak

 

OMG it is no wonder I am what I am

 

I will be seeking your help shortly - more about that later

 

Which team, the mighty Blues?

[GUT2407]

Am I invisible?

 

Yep.

Edited June 4, 2016 by GUT2407

[Adidas4fun]

[QUOyep.TE=Adidas4fun;50162000]Am I invisible?

 

Ah, I see. Hmm, not sure what I see. Must be "where the [CC expletive removed by over bearing moderator] are you ?!"

[MicCanberra]

Thank you for your concern

 

My wife took the key away for my own wellbeing - but she also emptied the beer fridge and replaced the contents with non alcoholic beverages - and my favourite Aussie Rules football team is winning in Melbourne as we speak

 

OMG it is no wonder I am what I am

 

I will be seeking your help shortly - more about that later

 

No worries.:D

[MicCanberra]

Which team, the mighty Blues?

 

I would have thought the OPs team was the eagles or the dockers but wonders will never cease. Could be Blues or Hawks as they both won today.

Edited June 4, 2016 by MicCanberra

[Bpos]

Which team, the mighty Blues?

 

This forum is about cruising so I prefer not to disclose and inflict (well not at the current time) very deep and personal matters affecting my life on our valued overseas cruising visitors.

 

Indeed next you will be asking me details about my ongoing Hemorrhoids problems

[GUT2407]

I would have thought the OPs team was the eagles or the dockers but wonders will never cease. Could be Blues or Hawks as they both won today.

 

But they said winning in Melbourne so I think that only leaves Hawthorn or Carlton.

[GUT2407]

 

Ah, I see. Hmm, not sure what I see. Must be "where the [CC expletive removed by over bearing moderator] are you ?!"

 

Sorry, I fixed it, but you're still invisible.

[GUT2407]

This forum is about cruising so I prefer not to disclose and inflict (well not at the current time) very deep and personal matters affecting my life on our valued overseas cruising visitors.

 

Indeed next you will be asking me details about my ongoing Hemorrhoids problems

 

I've got a Yank mate (born and bred) who possibly knows more about Aussie rules than most Aussies, except he's a lions man. Small wager on today's game.

Edited June 4, 2016 by GUT2407

[Adidas4fun]

Ah, I see. Hmm, not sure what I see. Must be "where the [CC expletive removed by over bearing moderator] are you ?!"

 

Sorry, I fixed it, but you're still invisible.

 

I checked with my interior decorator. Apparently the colour suits me.

[MicCanberra]

This forum is about cruising so I prefer not to disclose and inflict (well not at the current time) very deep and personal matters affecting my life on our valued overseas cruising visitors.

 

Indeed next you will be asking me details about my ongoing Hemorrhoids problems

 

No fear of the later happening.

[MicCanberra]

But they said winning in Melbourne so I think that only leaves Hawthorn or Carlton.

 

Correct, :D

[Penelope222]

To see if anything's changed?

 

 

[emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji23][emoji38][emoji23][emoji38][emoji23]

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

[GUT2407]

This forum is about cruising so I prefer not to disclose and inflict (well not at the current time) very deep and personal matters affecting my life on our valued overseas cruising visitors.

 

Indeed next you will be asking me details about my ongoing Hemorrhoids problems

 

How's the 'roids?:eek:

[mrs and mrs]

Have just checked out the tipping threads going back 3/4 years.My word some of you were naughty boys back in your early c/c posting years wernt you.

One cracked me up so much,im to scared to repeat it here,in case i get red-flagged again,but hey it is still up there.lol.:eek::eek:

[Cabansail]

An oldie but a goodie.

 

Questions prior to that stupid sports orgy they had in Sydney (which we are still paying for)

 

 

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

 

A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...

 

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

 

A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...

 

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)

 

A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

 

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

 

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

 

A: And accomplish what?

 

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)

 

A: I'm not touching this one...

 

Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)

 

A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...

 

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

 

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)

 

Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

 

A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...

 

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

 

A: No. Everybody stinks.

 

Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)

 

A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

 

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

 

A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

 

A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.

 

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

 

A: Yes. At Christmas.

 

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)

 

A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.

 

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)

 

A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

 

A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

 

A: Another blonde?

 

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

 

A: I love this one... there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

 

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

 

A: Face North and you should be about right.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

 

A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

 

A: From Liz Taylor, perhaps?

 

Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)

 

A: Yes. Outdoors.

 

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)

 

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)

 

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[to_dee]

First you have to go beyond the black stump ...

 

That was a highlight growing up. .the old Black Stump restaurants so fancy with the corn on the cob with the yellow plastic stick holder :p

 

Marvellous travel tips ;)

[to_dee]

Ha!!! Love the oldies but goodies :D:D

[OzKiwiJJ]

Hmm, I'd forgotten about those.

 

Beyond the Black Stump was a Nevil Shute book, mostly set in the outback of WA.

[MicCanberra]

That was a highlight growing up. .the old Black Stump restaurants so fancy with the corn on the cob with the yellow plastic stick holder :p

 

Marvellous travel tips ;)

 

Yes, and a really decent sized steak or chop.

[Bpos]

Meet and greet functions on cruises are a wonderful way for fellow cruisers to get together and put a name to a face and best of all exchange gifts as a token of friendship and togetherness ( I feel tears coming to my eyes as I write this) .

 

I just want to remind everyone to think carefully in what they give as a gift - I have seen wonderful items given but also some that should not be named on this forum.

 

Try and get something applicable to your home country - Aussies take note and forget used tea towels with a faded Kangaroo paw, and made in China.

 

We are better than that and want to leave a lasting impression on our valued overseas visitors - for example - a voucher for the Dan Murphy's liquor store would probably be very much appreciated by our male overseas tourist at the meet and greet.

 

Cornflower from Spain, who is sailing with me on Solstice (31 Oct 2016) has "exposed" me and called me a "fraud" but is giving me some Cornflower seeds (yes it's true) as my meet and greet gift??? I would have thought a 100 year old Spanish Port would have been more appropriate - but....

 

Anyway, due to strict Australian Quarantine guidelines, I cannot even bring the seeds home so as the Solstice has a lawn on the top deck I have proposed that we dig up some lawn and plant the seeds to cement a new found friendship and improve Australian/Spanish relations. This is true, look at my roll call if your doubt what I say. How fantastic is it that the problem I have has been resolved.

 

I am even going to pack a spade in my check in luggage to dig up the lawn.

 

So there it is - a great solution for me, but please think wisely in choosing your gift for the meet and great - it can make a great difference to international relationships and peace in our time.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Bpos
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