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What would you do in the MDR?


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Question, and just a question.

 

Isn't expecting one to dress according to others preferences, rather than their own, not disrespectful of the person who's dress is being assessed? Or does the opinion of the person making the assessment override the assessed persons opinion?:confused:

 

I'm just curious as to whose opinion gets to matter more, the person dressed or the person looking at them.

 

As I said earlier, I don't concern myself with others choice of dress for dining nor do I pay attention to such. But that's just me. YMMV

 

I find it interesting that folks find they have to keep repeating that they don't pay much attention to how someone dresses. You just haven't been presented with your limitation yet. I think the question is more about how you would react when the situation occurs, not what you think of the other victims with different expectations.

 

There was a thread a few years ago from an angry mother who wanted to go strait from the pool area with her two young wet kids to the main dinning room. She was offended the staff wouldn't let her pass. Is that reasonable? Was she crossing the expectations of the average person in eating in the Main Dinning Room?

 

To your question, if everyone in the group considers others of the group before themselves, rarely does anybody get offended.

 

My point is that there are many using the question as an opportunity to be judgmental of those who do have some expectation of décor in the MDR and not enough be judgmental of those who put the group in the situation by making a selfish choice. That you are patient is great, but how will you respond that one day when your table mates chose to be offensive without your consideration. Seems to be a tough question for this crowd.

 

Burt

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I find it interesting that folks find they have to keep repeating that they don't pay much attention to how someone dresses. You just haven't been presented with your limitation yet. I think the question is more about how you would react when the situation occurs, not what you think of the other victims with different expectations.

 

 

 

There was a thread a few years ago from an angry mother who wanted to go strait from the pool area with her two young wet kids to the main dinning room. She was offended the staff wouldn't let her pass. Is that reasonable? Was she crossing the expectations of the average person in eating in the Main Dinning Room?

 

 

 

To your question, if everyone in the group considers others of the group before themselves, rarely does anybody get offended.

 

 

 

My point is that there are many using the question as an opportunity to be judgmental of those who do have some expectation of décor in the MDR and not enough be judgmental of those who put the group in the situation by making a selfish choice. That you are patient is great, but how will you respond that one day when your table mates chose to be offensive without your consideration. Seems to be a tough question for this crowd.

 

 

 

Burt

 

 

 

Well said!

 

 

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I find it interesting that folks find they have to keep repeating that they don't pay much attention to how someone dresses. You just haven't been presented with your limitation yet. I think the question is more about how you would react when the situation occurs, not what you think of the other victims with different expectations.

 

Context is key. When I'm at my place of duty, I very much care how people dress, and will call them on it, because either they're recruits, in which case they need jacking up for the smallest infractions, to drive home the necessity of attention to all details, or they're instructional staff, in which case they (and I) are setting the example for the recruits, and we'd better by God set a perfect one.

 

On a cruise, the context is different. Would I prefer people to dress properly formally for formal nights - men in tuxes or mess kit, ladies in suitable evening gowns or suits? Of course I would. If someone doesn't, though, that's outside my left and right of arc, and it's not my job to jack them up. So I'll keep my opinion to myself and work on the second part, which is to say, setting the best example of formal that I can. Which means my mess kit will as perfect as if I were on a formal parade - lint-free, sharply creased trousers, shoes highly shone, all accoutrements and bright-work gleaming.

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Respect is something you earn.

Respect should be earned just be being a human being -- it should be the default unless and until that person does something to lose your respect. Saying that you only respect people who've earned it tells me that you don't respect people you haven't met and know nothing about......essentially, that you don't have respect for over 99% of the people in the world (because you don't know that they've earned it).

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That is us. We say so what. Each to their own.

 

We are on a cruise to relax. Not to get exited about what someone wears to our table. Too many people minding other people's business. This is an issue for the cruise line. Take it up with them.

 

In the mean time...chill out and focus on all the good things around you. There are thousands of people who would love the opportunity to be on the cruise....even sitting opposite those who they do not think are properly attired.

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The word is "Etiquette." Unfortunately, this is a term ignored and not understood by many folks these days. Once you take manners out of civilization you have a society with little to no civility. When folks do not dress appropriately, they are simply showing disrespect to others. Personally, we have no desire to be around such folks (or share their table) which is simply our own preference.

 

Hank

Edited by Hlitner
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The word is "Etiquette." Unfortunately, this is a term ignored and not understood by many folks these days. Once you take manners out of civilization you have a society with little to no civility. When folks do not dress appropriately, they are simply showing disrespect to others. Personally, we have no desire to be around such folks (or share their table) which is simply our own preference.

 

Hank

 

 

Has there ever been a generation that didn't believe the subsequent generations weren't going to cause collapse of society? With every generation, things change. Yet millennia later, the world still turns.

 

My daughter isn't me. I'm not my parents and they weren't theirs. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

 

 

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I guess people have forgotton but for me, I'm naked beneath my clothes! We ran into judgemental people in Ca when buying our rings. We were dressed in shorts, it was in the 90s and went to the Jewelry district in LA, the 1st three jewelers pushed us to the $300 end of the counter. We went to Pasadena to a mall and the lady said "I have rings from 350 to 300,000, however we keep the high dollar ones in the safe. If you want to look at them just ask." We bought a really nice set with Marquise Rubies and diamonds. Went back to the other jewelers where we had a layaway and when he saw them I thought he would pass out. We aren't show offs and my wife drives a Prius, I have a pickup. People are so judgemental.

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When I was in my teens there were some people that thought long hair and sideburns would lead to the end of society. Some bible thumpers actually preached that it was the work of the devil.

 

Society did not unravel. The Digital age was ushered in and nurtured by that generation. They have left a very positive impact on society.

I can so remember my father going on about long hair and lack of respect all in the same sentence.

 

I still say...chill out, MYOB, and enjoy your cruise. Let others enjoy their cruise. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Edited by iancal
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I guess people have forgotton but for me, I'm naked beneath my clothes! We ran into judgemental people in Ca when buying our rings. We were dressed in shorts, it was in the 90s and went to the Jewelry district in LA, the 1st three jewelers pushed us to the $300 end of the counter. We went to Pasadena to a mall and the lady said "I have rings from 350 to 300,000, however we keep the high dollar ones in the safe. If you want to look at them just ask." We bought a really nice set with Marquise Rubies and diamonds. Went back to the other jewelers where we had a layaway and when he saw them I thought he would pass out. We aren't show offs and my wife drives a Prius, I have a pickup. People are so judgemental.
When I lived in Minneapolis, I built a new house and furnished the whole house at the Home Store belonging to a major department store there. One day about 4 months later on a snowy day, I went to the department stores designer sections and picked out a skirt and top. Now, I was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and I stood at the counter, while the two sales clerks talk with each other. In comes a woman in a fur coat and one of the clerks actually pushed me to get to her. She was making a return and I was trying to make a $500 purchase. Finally after the one clerk took care of the fur clad lady, she asked me rudely what I wanted and I said I wanted to speak with a Manager. A manager came down and I told her what happened and handed her the outfit and walked upstairs and paid off my account, which was very large after furnishing my house, and told them to close it, as I would never walk in their store again and I never did. They lost years of designer clothes sales to me and I didn't lose a darn thing. The store also lost on the lady wearing the fur coat, because the dress she was return had obviously been worn.
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If you are sitting at a communal table and the maitre D' sits a couple/group/or family at the table that you think is dressed inappropriately, what would you do about it? Anything?

 

I see no point in living and do my best to commit suicide using the butter knife.

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I see no point in living and do my best to commit suicide using the butter knife.

Hear hear. My cruise would be totally ruined, I wouldn't be able to enjoy any activities. I would sit in my room all the next day pondering the great question if why those people came to dinner dressed like that. OR I could do a Queen Elza and let it go. Lol

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