Jump to content
Growlr

Friends of Dorothy

Recommended Posts

hi we are going on the 7 night cruise with P&O Oceana leaving Malta 7th Sept 2017. Was wondering if there is a friends of Dorothy meeting on this cruise or if anyone similar is going and would like to meet up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hi we are going on the 7 night cruise with P&O Oceana leaving Malta 7th Sept 2017. Was wondering if there is a friends of Dorothy meeting on this cruise or if anyone similar is going and would like to meet up.

 

 

 

You can just ask for a meeting time and place to be put into the Horizon newspaper.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On Celebrity they put LGBT meeting in the paper. My daughter wanted to know why the people who make the TVs and the phone company had their own meetings ... bless

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am I very out of touch? I had no idea what the "Friends of Dorothy" was, until Tom Baker's post threw some light on it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Never seen one on any of our P&O cruises.

 

If interested maybe have a word with the entertainment director and see if they can arrange it in the horizon.

 

Cunard do them - non hosted at 5pm on a certain side of the commodore club (crows nest) daily.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Am I very out of touch? I had no idea what the "Friends of Dorothy" was, until Tom Baker's post threw some light on it.

I don't think that you are really out of touch I first came across the term while working in USA. I have rarely heard "Friends of Dorothy" used for LGBT community in the UK but it is widely used in USA and Canada. I don't remember ever seeing Friends of Dorothy meeting advertised in the Horizon on P&O but they are always advertised on American ships.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On Celebrity they put LGBT meeting in the paper. My daughter wanted to know why the people who make the TVs and the phone company had their own meetings ... bless
Not anymore, but there is a card posted on the Community Board near guest relations advising of the time and venue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was on Aurora a couple of years back, I was told P&O doesn't like 'Friends of Dorothy' as it's discriminatory! If you want something in the daily magazine, probably worth asking for LGBT+ instead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hi we are going on the 7 night cruise with P&O Oceana leaving Malta 7th Sept 2017. Was wondering if there is a friends of Dorothy meeting on this cruise or if anyone similar is going and would like to meet up.

 

Have you looked at the Roll Call specific to your cruise. You might get a better response on there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
When I was on Aurora a couple of years back, I was told P&O doesn't like 'Friends of Dorothy' as it's discriminatory! If you want something in the daily magazine, probably worth asking for LGBT+ instead.

 

 

 

Yes I agree, they use LGTB terminology, FOD is a bit dated now.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd image that they have also ditched FoD as LGBT is more commonly known. The younger crowd know LGBT more than FoD and would probably miss the get together.

 

Plus, I wonder over the years how many folk went to these meethings who knew a Dorothy and thought it was about her?

"Whaddya mean Wizard of Oz? I'm on about Dottie who worked in accounting... you know the one with the big perm and those oversized glasses"

;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks everyone for all the advice. I think I will contact cust services and ask them to mention LGBT in the Horizon magazine.

My BF will go mad but hey let's live dangerously.

If anyone is on the same cruise and wants to meet up please let me know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've seen Friends of Dorothy meetings advertised in Horizon, but not for a few years; however there were LGBT meetings advertised on my last cruise so they do happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Not anymore, but there is a card posted on the Community Board near guest relations advising of the time and venue.

 

 

 

Pete, it was listed in the daily newspaper on our Celebrity cruise a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately it's now called the LGBTQ meeting. Usually at the Martini Bar or World Class Bar. I hated to ask but unfortunately found out the Q at the end was for Queer. Apparently the US gays want to take ownership of the Queer term when for us it's already covered by the LGBT term. For us using Queer is a backward step and unnecessary. I long for the days of the friends of Dorothy meetings now. The US ships have the friends of Bill W meetings and yet don't need to spell out that this means Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish the meetings were arranged for 'LGBT and allies' because I'd like to go on the basis that it's usually the source of the best company onboard [emoji2] I might put that add in the Horizon on our next trip!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking as a friend of Dorothy and as a friend of Bill W (I know, I know, friends all over;-)) the reason it's called friends of Bill W rather than just Alcoholics Anonymous is because it's not just for alcoholics. Any of the "anonymous" group members are welcome, narcotics anonymous, overeaters anonymous, gamblers anonymous, sex addicts anonymous and all the other anonymous etc etc are all welcome at a friends of Bill W meeting.

 

Personally I've always understood that cruises were the gay-friendliest type of holiday since way back. Must be something about all those sailors[emoji38]. When I did my first cruise ten years ago I asked a fellow gay friend who had been on one if we would have any trouble as a gay couple on board and his response was something like "oh god no, I've been on the forums and it's really gay friendly, no problems at all".

 

I, too, prefer friends of dorothy to LGBT(Q) it's just so lovely and quaint. Personally I think it should be up to the group organising it to decide on which name to use, it shouldn't be dictated by the cruise line. But I suspect as many LGBTQ folk are as happy with either (if we could ever agree that is lol). [emoji6]

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ps I've asked in a couple of places but are there any friends of Bill W on board the 23rd July sailing on Aurora? I know I can just advertise a meeting when I get on board but it would be good to connect if so.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first time I saw it was on a RCI ship and seeing a couple of meetings for different days on notice boards said to my hubby this Dorothy must have a lot of friends must be her birthday or something. I found out afterwards what it was. They have them on Cunard as well but I agree in this day and age they could just say what the meeting is as 99.9% of people I'm sure have no objection. But Friends of Dorothy does sound nice and friendly.

 

They also have Friends of Bill W meetings, which is AA but no idea who Bill was. Anyone?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bill W was the founder of AA (along with a chap called Dr Bob, but Bill was essentially the main founder).

 

Now that the anonymous meetings are broader than AA and include NA, OA, GA etc etc the "friends of Bill W" don't just apply to alcoholics but anyone in a 12 step fellowship as they all sprang from AA which sprang from Bill W (in a very small nutshell). The FOBW meetings I went to on celebrity had people from AA, MA (marijuana anonymous) SAA and OA at them. It was a massive benefit having them on board. There was a room set aside by celebrity every day at 5pm and there were a couple of people who turned up every day and some who came occasionally.

 

Our next cruise is 17 nights so organising something is a must for me.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

 

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

 

David

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

 

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

 

David

The Red Hat Society was named because of the poem "When I am Old" by Jenny Joseph. This is my favourite poem and I have recently realised that I need to do some of the things in it, I have already started to wear purple occasionally so next I have to buy the red hat.:*:*:*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

 

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

 

David

I'm curious, both lines are British, or did you mean that Cunard has more Americans sailing on her?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They are both American as they are owned by American companies.

 

But p&o is an uber British product with all the British sailaways, the Union Jack flags being handed out, the Union Jack livery, all the drinks prices and speciality restaurant etc being in £s, the tipping structure being in £s etc etc

 

Cunard has all the prices in $s, the tips are in $s and are more in line with American lines, you pay sales tax on each purchase in $s plus yes more Americans on board particularly the Queen Mary 2 transatlantics.

 

That's just my understanding.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
They are both American as they are owned by American companies.

 

But p&o is an uber British product with all the British sailaways, the Union Jack flags being handed out, the Union Jack livery, all the drinks prices and speciality restaurant etc being in £s, the tipping structure being in £s etc etc

 

Cunard has all the prices in $s, the tips are in $s and are more in line with American lines, you pay sales tax on each purchase in $s plus yes more Americans on board particularly the Queen Mary 2 transatlantics.

 

That's just my understanding.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

100% correct, well explained.

 

David

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally think of Cunard as British. Although actually an classed as British-American cruise line, founded by a Canadian and a Scot.

 

Anyway, moving on...

 

I think there is still a place for an LGBT meeting, just as any other social gathering. I hope it doesn't just become one of those long forgotten traditions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never seen an FoD/LGBT meeting advertised on P&O and have sailed with them 14 times since 1997. I have however found that there seem to be more LGBT pax these days - especially on my two cruises this year. P&O are usually happy to advertise any general meetings that a passenger wants to host.

 

Cunard 'affect' to be a British Line but the on-board currency is the USD, the menu is tailored to Americans and drinks etc have a 15% gratuity added. Don't get me wrong - I like Cunard - but it really does not feel like a British Line any more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Speaking as a friend of Dorothy and as a friend of Bill W (I know, I know, friends all over;-)) the reason it's called friends of Bill W rather than just Alcoholics Anonymous is because it's not just for alcoholics. Any of the "anonymous" group members are welcome, narcotics anonymous, overeaters anonymous, gamblers anonymous, sex addicts anonymous and all the other anonymous etc etc are all welcome at a friends of Bill W meeting.

 

Personally I've always understood that cruises were the gay-friendliest type of holiday since way back. Must be something about all those sailors[emoji38]. When I did my first cruise ten years ago I asked a fellow gay friend who had been on one if we would have any trouble as a gay couple on board and his response was something like "oh god no, I've been on the forums and it's really gay friendly, no problems at all".

 

I, too, prefer friends of dorothy to LGBT(Q) it's just so lovely and quaint. Personally I think it should be up to the group organising it to decide on which name to use, it shouldn't be dictated by the cruise line. But I suspect as many LGBTQ folk are as happy with either (if we could ever agree that is lol). [emoji6]

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

I'm sure they'd get a lot more interest in a sex addicts meeting if they publicised it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have never seen an FoD/LGBT meeting advertised on P&O and have sailed with them 14 times since 1997. I have however found that there seem to be more LGBT pax these days - especially on my two cruises this year. P&O are usually happy to advertise any general meetings that a passenger wants to host.

I guess it must just one of those random things. They either do them or they don't. I've seen the FoD/LGBT meetings advertised/held at least 60% of the cruises I've been on. Probably only on the last two has there not been any.

 

They had a former crewmembers (of a ship I can't remember the name of) get together a couple of times on the last one I was on. Guess both that and LGBT do come down to people requesting or setting up a meeting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have sailed with P&O over 20 times, during which I have seen a FoD meeting advertised only once. It was hosted by two gay employees, an officer and a member of the entertainments team, who explained that P&O only organised one if requested to do so by a passenger. This happened infrequently. This contrasted with my sailings with Celebrity where FoDs were invited to meet daily before dinner in - where else - the martini bar.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Funny when you think, you could have 45 LGBT passengers on a cruise but ithere'll be no FoD if none of them ask. Likewise there could be only 4 on another they end up with two or three meetings. Just the luck 'o the draw.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just off Arcadia, and there were no LGBT meetings on that particular cruise. I kept and eagle-eye on the Horizon, but there was nothing. There were at least three couples on board, so i know I wasn't the only one.

 

I was actually contemplating going to a meeting if there was one. (Admittedly I didn't ask for one to be added/created).

 

C'est la vie I guess.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.

 

Just goes to show how inconsistent it is. In your 17 years you have seen them on every cruise and in my twenty, I have never seen one. I may have missed a Bill W entry in Horizon but I would have certainly noticed an FoD or LGBT meet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.

 

 

 

Nope never seen a FOD or Bill W meeting on any of our P&O cruises and I scrutinise the Horizon every day. How come everyone else has missed these meetings? I have Horizons here from 3 of our P&O trips and have re-examined them and there are no meetings shown in those.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just goes to show how inconsistent it is. In your 17 years you have seen them on every cruise and in my twenty, I have never seen one. I may have missed a Bill W entry in Horizon but I would have certainly noticed an FoD or LGBT meet.

 

I have seen both meetings along with Masonic ones on both Azura and Ventura but I can't remember for the Britannia. I'm sure they are arranged if passengers request them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pete, it was listed in the daily newspaper on our Celebrity cruise a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately it's now called the LGBTQ meeting. Usually at the Martini Bar or World Class Bar. I hated to ask but unfortunately found out the Q at the end was for Queer. Apparently the US gays want to take ownership of the Queer term when for us it's already covered by the LGBT term. For us using Queer is a backward step and unnecessary. I long for the days of the friends of Dorothy meetings now. The US ships have the friends of Bill W meetings and yet don't need to spell out that this means Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Interesting, I'll keep my eyes out on our upcoming TA on Eclipse.

 

Apparently the 'proper' terminology is now LGBTQ+ according the those a lot younger than I.

 

I also object to the term 'Queer' because 40 years ago it was definitely a derogatory term and led to many cases of abuse. However, the young LGBTQ+ 'set' don't know about that period and I doubt want to know.

 

Btw the 'Q' is supposed to be used for those who do not fit into either gender and consider themselves 'non binary', '+' on the other hand identifies those who are pan sexual, asexual, gender fluid, two spirit etc apparently. :eek:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Interesting, I'll keep my eyes out on our upcoming TA on Eclipse.

 

Apparently the 'proper' terminology is now LGBTQ+ according the those a lot younger than I.

 

I also object to the term 'Queer' because 40 years ago it was definitely a derogatory term and led to many cases of abuse. However, the young LGBTQ+ 'set' don't know about that period and I doubt want to know.

 

Btw the 'Q' is supposed to be used for those who do not fit into either gender and consider themselves 'non binary', '+' on the other hand identifies those who are pan sexual, asexual, gender fluid, two spirit etc apparently. :eek:

 

It was my understanding that the current terminology is LGBTQI, where the I stands for In-between or similar, but I suppose the + is a better option as it then suggests there is no need for any more letters of the alphabet to be coined.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I must be old fashioned then, as I only use LGBT. Maybe + on occaisons.

 

Whilst we have already discussed that FoD is 'outdated' and was a descreet code for like minded passengers, you'll find that some people (not of the community) don't know what it represents anyway.

I have to resist saying its the new BLT.... 'Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato'. ;) (all in good humour of course).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I must be old fashioned then, as I only use LGBT. Maybe + on occaisons.

 

Whilst we have already discussed that FoD is 'outdated' and was a descreet code for like minded passengers, you'll find that some people (not of the community) don't know what it represents anyway.

I have to resist saying its the new BLT.... 'Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato'. ;) (all in good humour of course).

 

Exactly that is why they use the term "Friends of Dorothy" discretion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×