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adjustment to sailing solo

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I have scanned these posts and didn't see where anyone recommended getting involved with the roll calls for cruises you're going solo on. I did my first solo TA Celebrity cruise last spring and a group of solo women cruisers met up onboard and agreed to meet at the select dining room entrance at 6p.m. every evening if we wished to dine with each other. This worked well and our group numbered from 2 to 12 each evening. Four of us will all be travelling solo on Eclipse next spring and plan to do the same thing. We are working on excursions together too.

 

Thanks for the tip. Yes I have already joined the roll call for my cruise. So far there are no solo travellers on our roll call. The cruise is 90 days out, so we will probably have a lot more joiners closer to cruise date.

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Thank you for posting this. I am in the same "boat" (no pun intended.) My husband passed away 2 days ago, and we loved cruising together. My fondest memories of our time together were when we were travelling. I am devastated now; we were inseparable. We were supposed to cruise in a week together. Not only did I not cancel it, I booked another cruise next month, because it is absolutely unbearable for me to be in this house where he died. I am absolutely desperate to get away from here. I am sure I won't be able to have "fun" the way I used to, and it won't erase my pain. But I'm hoping the cruises will provide enough distraction to give me at least a little bit of relief. I wonder if it has helped others? I'm also a little worried about people being judgmental - but I don't think they understand the agony of being in the house where your cherished spouse died just dwelling and crying and the need to escape.

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Thank you for posting this. I am in the same "boat" (no pun intended.) My husband passed away 2 days ago, and we loved cruising together. My fondest memories of our time together were when we were travelling. I am devastated now; we were inseparable. We were supposed to cruise in a week together. Not only did I not cancel it, I booked another cruise next month, because it is absolutely unbearable for me to be in this house where he died. I am absolutely desperate to get away from here. I am sure I won't be able to have "fun" the way I used to, and it won't erase my pain. But I'm hoping the cruises will provide enough distraction to give me at least a little bit of relief. I wonder if it has helped others? I'm also a little worried about people being judgmental - but I don't think they understand the agony of being in the house where your cherished spouse died just dwelling and crying and the need to escape.

May I offer condolences on your very recent loss, and may you find some solace during your cruise next week. In my book, a little escapism and deferrence of acceptance is allowed. Everyone has their way of handling grief.

 

I might suggest that you not be specific as to when your husband passed - just a 'I lost my husband recently' is suffice. In fact, no explanation is required at all as to why you are not traveling as a partner.

 

As to long term, eventually you will have to face the future. May I suggest grief counselling either via a professional, or your chosen religious institution? And nothing says you need to keep the house if it only causes pain. Good luck.

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There's nothing wrong with traveling solo, other than missing the good times you used to have with that person. Your significant other would want you to go and have fun and relax.

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NelleS-

I, too, am widowed for almost 3 years and I have cruised since my DH's passing, but always with a group or someone on board that I knew. Until yesterday, when I booked a cruise where I will be completely alone. Scary, yes! But I am determined to do this.

 

Good luck to you in making this decision, It took me some time but I am looking forward to this independent journey.

 

Gee, central Florida,,,,me too by way of NJ

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Thank you for posting this. I am in the same "boat" (no pun intended.) My husband passed away 2 days ago, and we loved cruising together. My fondest memories of our time together were when we were travelling. I am devastated now; we were inseparable. We were supposed to cruise in a week together. Not only did I not cancel it, I booked another cruise next month, because it is absolutely unbearable for me to be in this house where he died. I am absolutely desperate to get away from here. I am sure I won't be able to have "fun" the way I used to, and it won't erase my pain. But I'm hoping the cruises will provide enough distraction to give me at least a little bit of relief. I wonder if it has helped others? I'm also a little worried about people being judgmental - but I don't think they understand the agony of being in the house where your cherished spouse died just dwelling and crying and the need to escape.

 

 

My condolences to you........

 

Just hoping this little tid bit may help........I have sailed solo for many years and most folks are too busy

enjoying themselves and I have not found many judgmental at all........(a few here or there but it is their

problem, not yours).

I hope you are able to find some peace overlooking the wake..........it can be really calming.

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I know my 2 biggest fears are:

dining alone on a freestyle dining ship (I have the upgraded dining package for 3 nights but nobody to go to the restaurant with (this will be very strange for me to sit in a restaurant alone, I haven't even tried this on land yet, I feel very awkward). I could bring a book, but that seems very tacky in an upscale restaurant and people watching would be very rude.

 

If it helps, think of it this way - on your previous trips, how much time did you spend thinking about people who were dining alone? Because they were there, I'm sure -- you just didn't notice!

 

I've done a couple of solo trips, but also dined alone for one reason or another when cruising with others. If anybody does notice, they won't know that you're traveling alone -- your partner could be asleep or watching a ball game back in the room, up in the casino, etc.

 

You can start practicing on land. Take a book (kindles are easier) to a fast food place. Then try a chain restaurant. You will notice that nobody notices! I've never felt out of place at the specialties on NCL ships - I order, read and depending on what I'm eating, might even keep reading while I'm eating. You may also be placed at a table by the window or somewhere else with a view.

 

Enjoy! You can do it!

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May I offer condolences on your very recent loss, and may you find some solace during your cruise next week. In my book, a little escapism and deferrence of acceptance is allowed. Everyone has their way of handling grief.

 

 

 

I might suggest that you not be specific as to when your husband passed - just a 'I lost my husband recently' is suffice. In fact, no explanation is required at all as to why you are not traveling as a partner.

 

 

 

As to long term, eventually you will have to face the future. May I suggest grief counselling either via a professional, or your chosen religious institution? And nothing says you need to keep the house if it only causes pain. Good luck.

 

 

 

I lost my husband last year and agree with everything just posted but for one thing. Yes being in the house is hard but I was given very wise advice: make NO huge decisions for at least a year. I have changed my mind almost every month about moving and so glad I didn't act impulsively. And when the crying jags hit, just let them. Anytime, any place. I had one in lobby of Zaandam a few days ago after hearing singer singing " our song". This too shall pass.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

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I am thankful for finding this thread and thankful for all the tips from recently widowed ladies. I too lost my husband in March 2017 and adjusting to living alone has been a struggle so terrified of cruising or travelling alone.

I had always wanted to do a Baltic cruise but my husband after being in the Navy had no desire, his passion was the Caribbean either by cruise or resort. I did book this cruise for August 2018 but I also paid including air for 2 of my adult kids to come so I didn't have to go alone. Needless to say I can't do that every time I want to travel.

 

Would love to do a trans Atlantic so maybe I'll get my feet wet on a short cruise, perhaps to Cuba solo, and see how it goes.

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njkate,

I lost my wife of 46 years about 1 1/2 years ago and since then I have taken 4 cruises with family.

My own experience taking grandchildren on cruises has given me confidence to take a solo cruise later this year.

Teenagers want to do very little in my company. As a result, I have already eaten about half to 3/4 of my meals alone and found I can do quite well left to my own devices. I really want to cruise without needing to check on the people cruising with me.

If you can't face travel alone yet, cruise with someone independent and each go your own way. I'm sure you'll find you can make it just fine.

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I too lost my husband suddenly in June 2010, a few days after he turned 51, He loved all kinds of travel, especially cruising and the Caribbean. My first trip after he passed was to take his ashes to St. John, USVI to our favorite beach. I then spent a week there in our same house that we'd been going to for about 15 years. That was probably the hardest trip of all even though I knew so many people from the years we'd gone together.

 

I've done 12 cruises since then and the first solo was a little scary but there was something nice about not having to worry about anyone but myself. I've done different dining times and have come to prefer early dining at my own table and then having the evening free to do whatever I choose. I can stay in the casino all day if I want..LOL.

 

Just as I adjusted to living alone again, I've adjusted to cruising and travelling solo too! I've met a lot of other solo cruisers as well on almost every trip and find that there is always someone to hang out and chat with just about everywhere on board.

 

Doing it again in September...:D:D:D

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Single gay man here. I didn't lost any spouse, I only broke up with my bf of 10+ years almost 2 years ago. We used to travel together. Last year, i took a cruise to Hawaii, a place I have always wanted to go see. I was worried about walking around alone, eating alone, and doing things alone. As it turned out, everything was fine and good. People know you travel alone, they loved to approach me to take pictures for them and would return the favor right away. People say hi to me the same way as when i was travelling with someone. That to me means that people understand that everyone travels differently with different reasons. I hope you will enjoy the time travelling solo as much as i did....

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I feel so privileged to read what people share here. Such grace through tough life changes. I cruise with my husband, admit that I really fear losing him one day, but hopefully won't quit and just withdraw if widowed in the future. I thank each of you for sharing, and may God gently bless and protect each of you.

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I feel so privileged to read what people share here. Such grace through tough life changes. I cruise with my husband, admit that I really fear losing him one day, but hopefully won't quit and just withdraw if widowed in the future. I thank each of you for sharing, and may God gently bless and protect each of you.

 

What Etta said.

I’ve been single my whole life, but noticed my mother start to withdraw once she was widowed.

Kudos to all of you for maintaining your zest for travel, and I’d be honored if I ever met any of you on a cruise. And hey, I talk to everyone, so it could happen! :cool:

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My wife loved cruising. She painted with oils and loved the colors we encountered. The islands, the waves and especially the sunrises and sunsets captivated her. Now when I cruise and I watch the waves, sunrises or sunsets, I can almost feel her still by my side. After almost 2 years without her, I still find myself wanting to point out some beautiful sight to her as we always did for each other for most of a half century.

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What Etta said.

I’ve been single my whole life, but noticed my mother start to withdraw once she was widowed.

Kudos to all of you for maintaining your zest for travel, and I’d be honored if I ever met any of you on a cruise. And hey, I talk to everyone, so it could happen! :cool:

 

Even with 2 marriages, once divorced. once widowed, I've been single for the greater part of my life too so I'm pretty used to doing things solo!

 

Love to meet and chat with others on cruises and have never had a bad time.

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Recent widow and am taking my first solo cruise in Jan, 2019. What I decided to do is tag along with my nieces group of people (I'll be the lone solo person) just to get the hang of being alone and if any 'issues' come up, I'll have my niece there.

Have my fingers crossed.

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I recently lost my husband last September near the end of our TA and while the daughter will be joining me in March to Hawaii & back and again the following March 2020, Southern Caribbean, I did cruise 1 time Solo right before our Australia trip which was my husbands dream trip so very glad I was able to give him his wish. :) My 1 & only solo cruise was with friends as DH decided he didn't want to go for 7 days. I know if our daughter is unable to cruise, I will cruise solo as I enjoy cruising and seeing new places. I enjoy being with people and meeting new friends which has helped me get through the first year.

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I lost my husband 15 years ago and have traveled with friends or family since then. I recently realized that I can't depend on having a friend or family available to travel with me. As a result, I've booked my first solo trip on NCL Breakaway for April 2019. While I'm apprehensive about traveling solo I also realized that a cruise is the perfect opportunity to be on a vacation while not actually being on my own. Thanks to everyone for great words of advice on this thread, it makes me feel more comfortable about this adventure.

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I'm so glad to have found this thread. It's been two months since I lost my husband, I'm only 59, and I still want to travel someday. I have planned a 3 day Disney cruise and vacation with my kids next fall, but after that there are still a few places I'd like to see. He passed away the day we should have left for our New England Canada cruise, and someday I hope to make this trip. Australia and New Zealand are still on my bucket list, but considering on saving that for retirement so I can make it as long as I'd like, without work constraints. I have felt better about traveling alone after reading some of the posts here, knowing that there are others who go by themselves and have a great time.

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Thanks for sharing all your stories! It’s really helping to make me feel more comfortable with my choice to go ahead with my cruise. I had booked this trip as a surprise for my mom last Mother’s Day, and we’ve been excitedly planning ever since. Unfortunately my moms health has taken a turn for the worse and she’s not able to come. She’s encouraged me to go ahead, and I’ve been worried how I’ll feel traveling alone for the first time. I’m very hopeful after reading all your stories that I’ll be able to make the most of this trip. Although it will be bittersweet without her.

 

 

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So glad I came upon these posts.  I lost my husband (age 58) 4 months ago and we loved to cruise.   I really want to try a solo cruise in the future, but like others, it seems a bit daunting.  It's weird, I used to travel solo on short trips for work all the time and did fine, but I still texted with my hubby all the time while I was gone.  So, a solo cruise would be really on my own.  You've all given me more courage and I'm going to look at doing it in the future for sure!  Thank you!

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On 8/12/2018 at 4:04 PM, Time^Sense said:

Single gay man here. I didn't lost any spouse, I only broke up with my bf of 10+ years almost 2 years ago. We used to travel together. Last year, i took a cruise to Hawaii, a place I have always wanted to go see. I was worried about walking around alone, eating alone, and doing things alone. As it turned out, everything was fine and good. People know you travel alone, they loved to approach me to take pictures for them and would return the favor right away. People say hi to me the same way as when i was travelling with someone. That to me means that people understand that everyone travels differently with different reasons. I hope you will enjoy the time travelling solo as much as i did....

 

Interesting topic that I just came across while rolling through Cruise Critic.

Single, older gay man here that lost his partner of 26 years to agent orange, December 2016. We had done 29 cruises together. I was his Hospice RN to the very end and he wanted to make sure I kept on traveling.

That was easy to promise at the time but not as easy to follow through with by myself. Most of my other friends are younger, still working, or don't have the funds available.

I've been on three cruises since his passing, one with a friend and two as solo traveler. It takes some major adjusting to being alone when the ships are filled primarily with couples. Best place to start is in the MDR and ask to sit at a table of at least six. I met really nice couples who immediately included me in their evening conversations. I usually skip the speciality restaurants because they sat me by myself when I first went to one alone. Then, just speak to others around the ship and on excursions. I usually take private excursions which allows for much smaller groups and often more friendly.

There are still times I feel alone but, I just get up and move around the ship and enjoy. I have gone to some singles events that have been primarily female passengers and after one lunch together, that's about it. Also gone to some LGBT gatherings but again, the few that attend are usually couples but if they're older, I have been asked to join for dinner or a shore excursion.

Basically I've found you just have to make the best of it and enjoy the cruise, and life.

 

Edited by PROCRUISE

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Your posts reminded me of something my sister talked about with me back when we were in our teen years. She asked me how I could go to a movie alone all the time. I said I preferred it since it let me watch the movie. I asked her how she could go with friends all the time and be constantly interrupted and distracted. 🙂

 

I most always travel alone. I certainly don't feel alone when I'm on a cruise, though. I find folks and interact and talk and do things and eat together or drink together or go to shows. I talk to strangers. They talk to me. But I also sort of do it from the perspective of being fine being alone (well, if being with my Kindle and reading everywhere is truly being "alone.") It's what I know. What I do. How I interact. And honestly I guess I can understand someone coming from the opposite of that, always having been traveling with someone, especially someone close, how then doing things alone would be so very different from what they're used to.

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Add me to the club of recent widow who still wants to cruise/travel.  My parents invited me on a 2020 Cuba cruise with them so I said yes.  Would like to do something in 2019 but not sure what.  Maybe Europe river or Mississippi river?  Maybe an alumni group tour?  We love SilverSea and that's Cuba but I'm thinking I need something vastly different right now.  I've always planned our trips so that's easy.  The hard part is obvious.

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