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tennboy1981

Unfriendly gays on cruises

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It's ironic that our LGBTQIAA2+ flag is multicolored to reflect the diversity of those people who identify with us, yet that same diversity is cause for judgment and ridicule from some of us. We don't have to all get along. We don't all have to be friends. However, it would help if all of us were just a little more tolerant of the wide spectrum of our assorted flavors. By tolerant, I mean not jumping to labeling people as "less than" us. 

 

I'm certainly not beige, and I hope that doesn't come off as bitchy.

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1 minute ago, misterkevin said:

It's ironic that our LGBTQIAA2+ flag is multicolored to reflect the diversity of those people who identify with us, yet that same diversity is cause for judgment and ridicule from some of us. We don't have to all get along. We don't all have to be friends. However, it would help if all of us were just a little more tolerant of the wide spectrum of our assorted flavors. By tolerant, I mean not jumping to labeling people as "less than" us. 

 

I'm certainly not beige, and I hope that doesn't come off as bitchy.

 

Maybe a little bitchy?  So far I have met more straight people than gay ones.  Some of that is not wanting to push in on people, insisting on having lunch or dinner together for example.

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O.k., so I'll cop to being one of the latest to be a "little bitchy," and the 'offender' is likely right that he and I would not get along...BUT HE STARTED IT!!!😉  

 

I would never exclude a whole nation of people, or a race of people, or an ethnic group as potential cohorts on a cruise.. or in life.  I was a little triggered by his blanket assessment of the LGBTQ community in the US.  While "some of my dearest friends" are Gay Brits, I would never assume that ALL Gay Brits are witty, decent chaps capable of a world view, anymore than I would assume that I'd be friends with EVERY person at a Gay political rally or fundraiser or, yes, once upon a time, Gay bar.  Or on a cruise.

 

 I actually respect his right to select those with whom he wants to be friendly, but his statement came across as the "No fats, no fems, no people of color" statements that we read about(or experience if you're in the modern day dating pool).  Having preferences is fine. Verbalizing them can be rude and offensive. (and one might want to "check" oneself if the root of these preferences stems from bigotry).

 

All is good here, and counting down to my next cruise in 3.5 months!  (It's on Celebrity, on the West Coast, so I think we're safe that there won't be a reenactment of the Crystal Carrington/Alexis Colby cat fight in the wading pool of the ship!)

 

Andrew

 

 

 

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I think you are exaggerating for effect but I don't remember anyone saying  "No fats, no fems, no people of color".  Socializing is so personal.  I can tell in 15 minutes if I like someone.  Sometimes you just don't get along.

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20 minutes ago, Blazerboy said:

O.k., so I'll cop to being one of the latest to be a "little bitchy," and the 'offender' is likely right that he and I would not get along...BUT HE STARTED IT!!!😉  

 

I would never exclude a whole nation of people, or a race of people, or an ethnic group as potential cohorts on a cruise.. or in life.  I was a little triggered by his blanket assessment of the LGBTQ community in the US.  While "some of my dearest friends" are Gay Brits, I would never assume that ALL Gay Brits are witty, decent chaps capable of a world view, anymore than I would assume that I'd be friends with EVERY person at a Gay political rally or fundraiser or, yes, once upon a time, Gay bar.  Or on a cruise.

 

 I actually respect his right to select those with whom he wants to be friendly, but his statement came across as the "No fats, no fems, no people of color" statements that we read about(or experience if you're in the modern day dating pool).  Having preferences is fine. Verbalizing them can be rude and offensive. (and one might want to "check" oneself if the root of these preferences stems from bigotry).

 

All is good here, and counting down to my next cruise in 3.5 months!  (It's on Celebrity, on the West Coast, so I think we're safe that there won't be a reenactment of the Crystal Carrington/Alexis Colby cat fight in the wading pool of the ship!)

 

Andrew

 

 

 

Sorry but I have to call out your BS here as I never said "ALL" as you claim or "EVERY" which you capitalised but never quoted my post because you are just they type of queen who lies and dramatises what other people say to make your invalid point. 

 

As for you likening my post to "No fats, no fems, no people of color" again you are showing you lack reading comprehension as I didn't use your "ALL" or "EVERY" that line is just you trying to equate what I said to something which is of no equivalence but is yet a personal attack, my post wasn't a personal attack you just took offence because as they say if the cap fits. 

 

You post just validates mine even more so thanks for that. 

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1 hour ago, zitsky said:

I think you are exaggerating for effect but I don't remember anyone saying  "No fats, no fems, no people of color".  Socializing is so personal.  I can tell in 15 minutes if I like someone.  Sometimes you just don't get along.

Yes, that was my intention- to exaggerate for effect.  The compassion is valid, though, as it's not about the types of people you are attracted to, either socially or physically, but about verbalizing those in a way that offends.  He offended me, I have now offended him.  And he has offended me again.  Not much point in continuing the discussion.   As I don't travel on either Disney or Norwegian,  we both are fairly assured of not meeting.  And easy enough to ignore here.

 

Andrew

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One thing I've learned is that some people will never like your way of communicating.  Too serious, too sarcastic, too bitchy, too condescending. On and on....

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Heavens... What a thread! 🙂

 

I have sailed a few times, Cunard each time, and have gone to the FoD meeting (not that I think its called that now, maybe someone got offended 🙄 ) and have met a couple of friendly people... I have also met people in varying places all over the ship and got on with people for whatever reason, or not for other reasons, and take people as I find them. 

 

Possibly sometimes I come across as a bit quiet and unapproachable to some, but I work in a very people intensive job, and when I am onboard, I quite like my own time and enjoy peace and quiet, maybe why I like TAs on QM2, but each to their own I suppose. 

 

Life is odd, and if we were all the same, liked the same things, people and hobbies, life would go from odd and interesting, to boring as hell. 

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5 minutes ago, T5LHR said:

Heavens... What a thread! 🙂

 

I have sailed a few times, Cunard each time, and have gone to the FoD meeting (not that I think its called that now, maybe someone got offended 🙄 ) and have met a couple of friendly people... I have also met people in varying places all over the ship and got on with people for whatever reason, or not for other reasons, and take people as I find them. 

 

Possibly sometimes I come across as a bit quiet and unapproachable to some, but I work in a very people intensive job, and when I am onboard, I quite like my own time and enjoy peace and quiet, maybe why I like TAs on QM2, but each to their own I suppose. 

 

Life is odd, and if we were all the same, liked the same things, people and hobbies, life would go from odd and interesting, to boring as hell. 

 

Do you travel alone, or with someone?  QM2 sounds very nice.  I've wanted to do a transatlantic but partner is not keen, needs more activity (walking, fitness center).  Maybe he will try it when he is older.

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Just now, zitsky said:

 

Do you travel alone, or with someone?  QM2 sounds very nice.  I've wanted to do a transatlantic but partner is not keen, needs more activity (walking, fitness center).  Maybe he will try it when he is older.

 

I travel alone, and on my first TA, completely alone without knowing anyone onboard. Other TAs, I have known a few people onboard, and on another it was a big group of friends traveling... So, it has become more varied. 

 

For me, personally, QM2 is my type of ship. Big ship, with not as many people on as something of a similar size with other lines, plenty of quiet places to sit and relax, watch the world go by or have a cup of tea or something to eat... There is a very well equipped fitness centre, and deck 7 promenade deck is complete on one level, so walking/jogging is a very popular thing onboard for many, including myself. 

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2 hours ago, T5LHR said:

Heavens... What a thread! 🙂

 

I have sailed a few times, Cunard each time, and have gone to the FoD meeting (not that I think its called that now, maybe someone got offended 🙄 ) and have met a couple of friendly people... I have also met people in varying places all over the ship and got on with people for whatever reason, or not for other reasons, and take people as I find them. 

 

Possibly sometimes I come across as a bit quiet and unapproachable to some, but I work in a very people intensive job, and when I am onboard, I quite like my own time and enjoy peace and quiet, maybe why I like TAs on QM2, but each to their own I suppose. 

 

Life is odd, and if we were all the same, liked the same things, people and hobbies, life would go from odd and interesting, to boring as hell. 

My question to you would be if you go to an LGBT meeting on board, are you going to meet others like yourself or just to be around them and not interact so that you can enjoy your own peace and quiet? 

 

I certainly understand needing peace and quiet. There are so many places on board to relax in solitude. Sometimes being around other people like myself is enough, yet in that sense it's possible to project unapproachability and be that "unfriendly gay" we're discussing here.

 

I think the bottom line is that being gay isn't always enough of a connection to find commonality. It is merely a dimension of my personality like many others. 

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2 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

Do you travel alone, or with someone?  QM2 sounds very nice.  I've wanted to do a transatlantic but partner is not keen, needs more activity (walking, fitness center).  Maybe he will try it when he is older.

A little promotion for the QM2:  I am very active and exercise over an hour each day.  On the QM2 I get plenty of exercise between the fitness center and the promenade deck.  Much better for exercise than some other ships.  It might work for your partner.

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1 hour ago, misterkevin said:

My question to you would be if you go to an LGBT meeting on board, are you going to meet others like yourself or just to be around them and not interact so that you can enjoy your own peace and quiet? 

 

 

I go to meet "people"... Yes, there is a commonality amongst the people who go to the group, but it is not the be all and end all. If there is no one I get along with then I don't go back. Same as if I go to any other gathering or activity onboard. If there is someone that I get along with, and is on the same wavelength, whether I meet them at an LGBT meeting or a coffee (tea) social and we chose to see each other again, then great, but we certainly won't be living in each others pockets for the entire 14 days onboard. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, tv24 said:

A little promotion for the QM2:  I am very active and exercise over an hour each day.  On the QM2 I get plenty of exercise between the fitness center and the promenade deck.  Much better for exercise than some other ships.  It might work for your partner.

 

Me too... All be it I tend to stick to walking around the deck as I am a bit too self conscious to use the fitness centre. I can walk miles and miles without even thinking about it! 

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2 hours ago, tv24 said:

A little promotion for the QM2:  I am very active and exercise over an hour each day.  On the QM2 I get plenty of exercise between the fitness center and the promenade deck.  Much better for exercise than some other ships.  It might work for your partner.

 

Thanks.  I suppose there must be a good video of the fitness center, something I could show my partner?  He likes treadmills, I like ellipticals. 

 

Is there a lap pool or just a soaking tub?

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6 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

Thanks.  I suppose there must be a good video of the fitness center, something I could show my partner?  He likes treadmills, I like ellipticals. 

 

Is there a lap pool or just a soaking tub?

The QM2 fitness center has both ellipticals and tread mills, actually a lot of treadmills.  No lap pool, but an indoor and an outdoor pool suitable for splashing around.

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23 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

Thanks.  I suppose there must be a good video of the fitness center, something I could show my partner?  He likes treadmills, I like ellipticals. 

 

Is there a lap pool or just a soaking tub?

 

"Good video" i struggle to find... The only one which gives a full walk through is a poor quality video from 10 years ago... Gym is still very similar in payout, with updated equipment, but this video gives a good idea of the space and amount of equipment available... 

 

Gym starts at about 40 seconds: 

 

 

 

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They allow children on the QM2?  LOL.

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It truly saddens me that we're so quick to judge/attack someone's opinion instead of trying to understand where they're coming from.   Obobru, I completely understand where you're coming from and respect what you say.  We have had similar experiences and expectations for the individuals we prefer to hang out with.  The issue I've had is that many individuals within the community, from my experience, frown down on you if you have more conservative views on what a friendship should be (also, don't read too much into the word "conservative" everyone).  Many of friends call me "boujie" which I don't see, I just see myself as excepting of others but I do have boundaries that I've had to set up because of so many people try to disrespect them.  

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16 minutes ago, Cusp79 said:

It truly saddens me that we're so quick to judge/attack someone's opinion instead of trying to understand where they're coming from.   Obobru, I completely understand where you're coming from and respect what you say.  We have had similar experiences and expectations for the individuals we prefer to hang out with.  The issue I've had is that many individuals within the community, from my experience, frown down on you if you have more conservative views on what a friendship should be (also, don't read too much into the word "conservative" everyone).  Many of friends call me "boujie" which I don't see, I just see myself as excepting of others but I do have boundaries that I've had to set up because of so many people try to disrespect them.  

 

By bougie, I believe you mean snobbish? (Google)

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Zitsky - That is correct, but I don't feel that I am.

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Cunard line is fabulously Gay friendly. They have LGBTI drinks EVERY day, (albeit at an early 5pm) , unlike many  other other cruise lines who may only throw on the occasional offering. Their fleet is pretty gorgeous looking and entertainment outstanding. I’ve been on several cunard cruises and have loved them all. Classy without being snobby (Like Silverseas...yuk!) and the majority of guests mostly gay- friendly in my experience. Those who might not be so accepting would probably go to the buffet. Cunard, in my opinion, is the standout LGBTI friendly cruiseline. 5 rainbows! Lol .🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

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Posted (edited)

Wow, I just re-logged into my account and noticed this thread blew up!  I definitely did not mean to cause offense to anyone and I don't have time to go through to read every reply lol.  I wrote this a bit a go, and have since been on a few cruises.  I love cruising and have since met someone. I totally understand why sometimes you just don't want to be bothered with others.

 

I always tend to meet cool interesting people on each cruise I go on.  I have cruised mainly on Carnival (Its cheap and my friend gets like awesome casino deals) and a few times on Norwegian.  I love how gay friendly the cruise lines are, both Carnival and Norwegian have been very friendly to me.  I have also NEVER ran into an issue with my orientation with other guests.  Everyone is there to have a good time it seems.  Seems most leave their hate and bigotry on shore which is excellent.

 

I did find a cool way though to meet other gay cruisers.  My partner and I were on our first cruise together, on the Norwegian Sun this past June, we have a couple pride coozies we used to keep our drinks cold.  I had a few people come up to me and ask me where i got them, some lesbian couples and a couple gay couples too.  I had a few people say hey and hang out with us....was interesting to see.

 

I am going on another cruise here in 10 days on the Carnival Fantasy and will probably do the same thing.  I am certainly not on a cruise just to meet other gay couples, but its nice to see that we can all enjoy our selves on any cruise, NOT just the gay ones.

 

Cheers to everyone!

 

-Jeffrey

Edited by tennboy1981

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I actually try not to "take offense" to posts about the queer community because my partner and I "pass" I feel like I am talking from a place of privilege so I usually STFU. AND this post feel like you are you coming to take away my lesbian card because I am not "friendly" to other gay people on board? There are about 100 reasons I can think of that people might not want to hang out with other people and none of them are about the cruise line.  Personally, I love curling up with a good book on my balcony and watching the wake of the boat. Mostly I only venture out when I need a coffee refill or to eat something not on the room service menu. I don't understand why because we were born being attracted to the same sex that we should all like each other or be social butterflies. I am not a people person. I am a 48 year old feminist lesbian who lived through both Bushes and now I am old fat and too tired for everyone's "stuff"  We always go to queer meetups on board because it is lovely to be reminded that there are people who love like us all over the world. I don't choose my activities based on if queer people will be there. I choose my activities based on if they are interesting. 

Another thing I was thinking is, what about people who have real life consequences in the world if someone finds out they are gay? Maybe they will lose their job or family or home. Maybe this cruise is the first time they held hands in public or felt safe sharing a room. What a crazy experience might they be having and now we are going to pile on that they also have to be friendly or they aren't gay enough?

If what you are trying to say is that you want a more PRIDE atmosphere or social meetups or something like that I think you should say that. Let's not blame "unfriendly gays" for you not having any fun. 

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On 5/26/2019 at 10:40 PM, tv24 said:

Good evening from a bitchy, sex-obsessed, drag-obsessed, immature. low class, trashy, sleazy gay may from the United States.  Looking forward to meeting you someday.

TV24 you can hang out on my balcony anytime. You sound interesting enough I might actually put on shoes and leave my room for. 

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