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tennboy1981

Unfriendly gays on cruises

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I haven't had that issue with Royal Caribbean. Matter of fact, I've made some great friends and we were inseparable throughout the cruise.

 

I don't want this to sound like a rant, but it kinda sorta is. Has anyone noticed the influx of unfriendly gay couples on cruises? I mean I can sort of understand why a lot of gay couples are unfriendly or maybe dismissive. Maybe they are on a honeymoon, or just want a vacation together without any other men in the way, but it just sucks when you try to interact with other gay men on a "straight" cruise, and they just put their nose in the air at you.

 

Maybe it has to do with the cruise line? I was on a Carnival cruise about 2 weeks a go out of Jacksonville, FL. I saw very few gay couples, but the ones I did see, they were just all snobbish and dismissive. I just thought to myself "Umm guys this is a Carnival cruise, don't know where the snobbish attitude is coming from". Who knows, maybe I booked the cruise for insecure gay couples? Maybe Carnival specializes in a different type of gay? It was a shame. The LGBT get together, NO ONE showed up except me and one other gay man. Of course we were both single and we chatted for a while, but he turned out to be a weirdo....Im guessing there just isnt a lot of gay men who travel with Carnival....and of course its easy to figure out why.....

 

I went on a Norwegian cruise in 2015 and I met the coolest group of gay people. We had a group of us who got together every night, a couple times for dinner, it was the coolest thing ever. No one felt insecure or stuck up....it was awesome....but idk, this last cruise, just was bad.

 

So I'm probably going to be told its Carnival...and Im sure thats a big reason why.

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Have had no issues meeting courteous gay folk on any cruise line, gay guys on Carnival are as friendly as any. Assuming that they've heard you, people who don't respond to hello with "hello" are just rude, has nothing to do with anything else.

 

I came out in 1975. Even then I knew that being gay, by itself, wasn't enough reason to be friends with someone - to be part of a community, yes, but that's something different.

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Funny, Partner and I are about to depart on our 19 ad 20th cruise (combining 2 on this trip) We have always met several other gays on each ship to hang around with. Thinking back on Windstar in Europe as small 144 passenger ship. First night everyone was at tables for 2. Our last night in Monte Carol was a table of 14 all gays we met on board, plus half the others gathered around our table as it was our last night together Last cruise a riverboat we met 5 and did dinner and tours. Hawaii Princes crews I think we met 25+. Never in all our trips have we not met several fun people. Don't be shy, DON'T be afraid to say HI...you might have fun, We always do.

Sad that many lines no longer have FOD get to gathers.

Edited by AAB760
va

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What does a “Carnival Gay” look like?

 

Beyond us, never seen one

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I have been cruising over the last 40 years since I was 24 years old. Been on at least 80 cruises. When I was in my twenties and thirties it was so easy to meet other gay men on cruises. Guess they found me attractive and if was always fun to meet new people. I am 64 now and my husband is 60. We have found most other gay men we meet on cruises are just plain unfriendly. Perhaps it is because we are now gay seniors, but many of them are too. Ironically most of the nice people we meet are straight couples of all ages. Made quite a few nice straight friends who we are still in touch with and sometimes have even cruised together again. Not sure what the problem is with the gays we have encountered. I guess it is just part the gay culture to reject older gay men.

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I have been cruising over the last 40 years since I was 24 years old. Been on at least 80 cruises. When I was in my twenties and thirties it was so easy to meet other gay men on cruises. Guess they found me attractive and if was always fun to meet new people. I am 64 now and my husband is 60. We have found most other gay men we meet on cruises are just plain unfriendly. Perhaps it is because we are now gay seniors, but many of them are too. Ironically most of the nice people we meet are straight couples of all ages. Made quite a few nice straight friends who we are still in touch with and sometimes have even cruised together again. Not sure what the problem is with the gays we have encountered. I guess it is just part the gay culture to reject older gay men.
They will regret it.Wait until they get old.I was always nice to seniors when I was younger.Now that I am aging,wish it was reciprocal. Edited by garsny
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"They will regret it.Wait until they get old.I was always nice to seniors when I was younger.Now that I am aging,wish it was reciprocal."

 

It's their loss. You demonstrated that you were a quality guy in your youth and a gentleman now in your prime. The dismissive individuals will never have the privilege of that honorific or the benefits that such conduct affords. You can only try to lead by example and hope for the best.

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It's not that surprising that young people like other young people. When I was younger and someone older struck up a conversation, I had to tell if they wanted to chat or wanted something more. I remember the experience of going to bars and being the fresh meat.

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"They will regret it.Wait until they get old.I was always nice to seniors when I was younger.Now that I am aging,wish it was reciprocal."

 

It's their loss. You demonstrated that you were a quality guy in your youth and a gentleman now in your prime. The dismissive individuals will never have the privilege of that honorific or the benefits that such conduct affords. You can only try to lead by example and hope for the best.

I love you.

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I think one possible answer outside of the cruise ship is to socialize more and more. Find groups that have a good mix of ages. I can think of one local group that is diverse. And then there are all the meetup groups, gay, straight and mixed.

 

On the cruise, some tend to have an older crowd. So there just may not be too many younger gay men or women onboard.

 

This started about couples. I guess not much you can do if couples are unfriendly. I sometimes see people and am not sure if they are a couple or just friends.

Edited by zitsky

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I travel pretty much exclusively on Cunard, usually Queen Mary 2. I have found the Friends gathering to be pleasant and I have met many new long time friends aboard. I have rarely found other gay people to be very stand offish.

 

One exception was a NYC to LA cruise on Queen Victoria. A group of four guys were in the Commodore at Friends time, but stayed away from the gathering. One evening entering the lift to the Grills lounge and dinning rooms one of them said to me: "you do know this is for Grills customers only don't you? He followed with "I haven't seen you in the Princess Grill" I responded with one word "Queens" and after we reached the deck we went immediately into the Queens Grill. There after they openly avoided us. So you get all kinds of people aboard.

 

There was also an earlier occasion on Queen Mary 2 where we chatted with a husband and wife at the next table at dinner. The following evening they had moved to another table near the dining room door. After a bit of time, the wife came to our table and said that they had enjoyed chatting with us the night before, but asked to be moved to a table closer to the door, as the husband had mobility problems. He had a Segway (in the days, they allowed them) standing outside the dining room door. It was important to her that we knew that we were not the reason they asked to be moved.

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This thread has been very helpful in setting my expectations. I'll smile, say hello, and see what happens. :)

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I love you.

 

well it's easy to do that-I am pretty amazing!;p but actually you are very welcome.

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On 12/16/2017 at 5:25 AM, marymunro said:

I wouldn't do a gay cruise, ads always show shirtless hunks and I am not like that. Maybe people are standoffish because they feel threatened having a stranger talk to their spouse/partner.



Check out r family vacations

I 2nd rFamily.  Much friendlier cruisers.  We met a few people we are still friends with to this day 10+ years later.  

We haven't sailed with rFam again though because of the pricing.  I hate paying more to go on an LGBT cruise when we are perfectly fine meeting LGBT or straights on a mainstream cruise at half the price.  

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I've enjoyed reading this thread.   We have been sailing for about 20 years and have noticed a shift in the friendliness of fellow LGBTQ cruisers.     It may have to do with our first cruises were Gay Group Cruises on Pied Piper.   Even on a Gay Group Cruise the dynamics changed with larger groups as they became very cliquish.   We discontinued traveling with Gay Groups and only travel on our own now. 

 

My own belief is that the dynamics of the Gay Bar's of the past have changed significantly due to acceptance and that the younger generation no longer see the needs we had in the past to live in the Gay Ghetto and exclusively drink and socialize in gay establishments.   I hate to say I can't remember the last time I went to a Gay Bar.   I think that because of acceptance we no longer feel the need to go to exclusively gay establishments to feel welcome and inclusive.  I believe this attitude has also shifted to our cruise experience.  

 

We travel exclusively on Celebrity and have found them to always be very welcoming and acceptance of us as a gay couple and towards all LGBQT guests.   

 

10 years ago we would always attend the FOD gathering, usually at the Martini Bar, but due to many reasons haven't attended any in at least the last 5 years.   I cant say I can explain why, but a couple might be that we now usually have our pre-dinner cocktails in Michael's Club (Exclusive Suite Lounge) and the advent of the Drink Packages.    

 

I'm very friendly and greet everyone onboard the ship with a smile and a greeting when passing in the hallways.   We socialize with both LGBQT and Straight folks but for whatever reason we have a tendency to meet and socialize  more with straight couple.

 

I've come to realize / accept that just because a person shares my orientation doesn't mean we instantly compatible with one another.   

 

On our last cruise we met a number of LGBQT just by greeting one another and chatting in Luminea (suites only dining room).   While most tables are duces they are close enough that greetings and conversations between tables is common.  

 

 

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My partner and I had a very nice, handsome gay couple in the stateroom next door to us on our last cruise.  Who would have thought...two gay couples right next door to each other on a straight cruise?  What luck!  We struck up a conversation on the balcony.  By the end of the day, we had the porter remove the divider between the balcony for us.  We had some good times!

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Good times?!  What kind of fun did you have?  Excursions together?  Dinners? LOL

Edited by zitsky

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On 12/6/2017 at 3:26 AM, tennboy1981 said:

I don't want this to sound like a rant, but it kinda sorta is. Has anyone noticed the influx of unfriendly gay couples on cruises?

By chance, have they been married for a couple of years?

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7 hours ago, jlp20 said:

By chance, have they been married for a couple of years?

 

I could understand that.  Maybe they are insecure.  I hope I'm not like that.  I like meeting new people.

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On 10/30/2018 at 4:07 PM, djjamesanthony said:

My partner and I had a very nice, handsome gay couple in the stateroom next door to us on our last cruise.  Who would have thought...two gay couples right next door to each other on a straight cruise?  What luck!  We struck up a conversation on the balcony.  By the end of the day, we had the porter remove the divider between the balcony for us.  We had some good times!

 

I would like to hear more about that trip.  My last trip there were couples but we didn't meet any.  Sad about that.

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I just today discovered this interesting thread.  It makes quite a read, indeed.

 

My partner (now husband) and I have been together more than 44 years and, as one might deduce from the math, are more than mature.  Our couple of dozen cruises have all been on expedition ships or fairly small ships, the largest being about 900 passengers.  Therefore, there are consequently fewer gay couples aboard than would be the case on a large ship.  Nonetheless, on most of our cruises we have met at least one or two simpatico gay couples, several of whom remain good friends and cruising buddies with whom we've shared subsequent cruises.  

 

We have on very rare occasions encountered the sort of snobbish or standoffish gay couples that the OP described; but that has certainly been the exception.   On small ships, the LGBT gatherings tend to be quite small, usually only a few couples, plus one or more members of the staff (usually entertainers or the CD) who are gay.  (There are a lot of gay CD's, most of whom now are not afraid to be perceived as such, in our observation, contrary to 20 years ago, when we began cruising.)

 

Perhaps we have been fortunate; but we've only had a couple of instances of unpleasant encounters with other gay couples on a ship.   One was several years ago on a Regent cruise in Alaska when we met a couple of guys from San Francisco at the LGBT gathering; and one of them gave me the "tickle finger" when we shook hands.   Yikes!   I thought that particularly annoying little device went out about 40 years ago.  It appears that there are obnoxious gay men from other places than NYC, no??

 

The other bizarre encounter at an LGBT gathering was just last month on Seabourn Quest.  One of the couples was Swiss, a bit younger than the other two couples there, and dressed in high fag fashion.  Immediately upon meeting the rest of us, the older of them began to loudly berate other passengers on the ship because their watches were cheap, their clothes were not stylish, or they didn't appear to be buff.   Considering that Seabourn attracts a mature passenger mix, "buff" is not a common term of description on a Seabourn ship, other than to describe the dancers.  The odd aspect of this uncomfortable encounter was that these two guys were flight attendants, who made a living serving drinks and food to the sort of people whom they were ridiculing.   They appeared to be clueless to the fact that in very-status-oriented Switzerland they would be considered only a small step up from servants by the demographic of the passengers on this ship.  Perhaps that is why when outside of Switzerland they felt free to be so snobbish and judgmental??    In any event, although we spent a lot of time with the other couple that we met at the gathering, we pretty much restricted our interactions with Stefan & Marc to saying "Hi" when we passed them in the hallways.

 

Lordie, I apologize for my long-winded post; but I am trying to demonstrate that there are lots of variations in gay couples on cruises, both in terms of personality and in terms of willingness to meet and interact with other male or female couples. 

 

 

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Very nice post Freddie... My husband and I have been together for 27 years and we would hope to meet couples like you and your partner who might give us advice about keeping a relationship going that long.

 

But tickle finger, what is that?  I will google.

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Zitsky - Perhaps I used the wrong term.   It may be called "tickling the palm" while shaking hands, indicating a suggestion of sexual interest.   In either event, it was pretty creepy and not welcome in the slightest.  I hadn't experienced it since the 70's, when it was sometimes quite welcome.   :classic_cool:

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6 minutes ago, freddie said:

Zitsky - Perhaps I used the wrong term.   It may be called "tickling the palm" while shaking hands, indicating a suggestion of sexual interest.   In either event, it was pretty creepy and not welcome in the slightest.  I hadn't experienced it since the 70's, when it was sometimes quite welcome.   :classic_cool:

 

Ok so google was interesting.  I guess I am too young to know that 

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