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tennboy1981

Unfriendly gays on cruises

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Try QM2 transatlantic, most evenings 30-40 at LGBT drinks at 5pm in Commodore Club Lounge, Health spa very friendlynin the afternoon and the late disco G32 dominated by gays. People travel on cruises for all sorts of reasons, some couples need me time, we had a lovely FOD group meal in the Veranda resteraunt on the last sea day. Enjoy, Jonathan 

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I think the moral of the story is be nice to each other. If you clock another gay couple then just offer a friendly smile and say hi. If they want to walk on then they’ll walk on, if they want to chat then they’ll chat. That’s exactly what I do on  a cruise whether people are straight or gay. Anyone suffering from a misplaced sense of snobbery is very welcome to jog on as we probably wouldn’t get along anyway, it’s no loss. Anyone friendly I’ll Happily pass the time of day with.

My work involves me meeting, greeting and welcoming people every day, I love it. I Find people fascinating. I can’t imagine doing that every day if I didn’t. I’m certainly not convinced that a cruise is the best place for someone that doesn’t like being around people, but even so manners cost nothing!

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I'm not sure if this is the place for this.

 

I actually had an experience with an overly friendly gay guy about two years ago on a trip to NZ on Ovation of the seas where he placed his hand up the leg of my shorts even though he knew I was in a long term relationship and he had already met my partner.

 

I hope something similar does not happen this December when I am on Ovation again for another trip to NZ. It will be my first solo holiday as my partner (of 8 years now) does not want to cruise anymore due to the calorie consumption.

 

I do hope to meet and socialize with down to earth people (both gay and straight) and hopefully not the kind who are all about money, status, real estate and designer brands or the kind of people who pretend to be someone they are not. If they are not racist that would be a bonus too.

 

I don't mean to offend anyone with all this. Each to their own.

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2 hours ago, Mike From Syd said:

I'm not sure if this is the place for this.

 

I actually had an experience with an overly friendly gay guy about two years ago on a trip to NZ on Ovation of the seas where he placed his hand up the leg of my shorts even though he knew I was in a long term relationship and he had already met my partner.

 

I hope something similar does not happen this December when I am on Ovation again for another trip to NZ. It will be my first solo holiday as my partner (of 8 years now) does not want to cruise anymore due to the calorie consumption.

 

I do hope to meet and socialize with down to earth people (both gay and straight) and hopefully not the kind who are all about money, status, real estate and designer brands or the kind of people who pretend to be someone they are not. If they are not racist that would be a bonus too.

 

I don't mean to offend anyone with all this. Each to their own.

 

Is Ovation a gay cruise line?  I would be upset also.

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I had great time on my first NCL out of Barcelona. Met lost of guys and we traveled together. But my last one a few years ago, still great turnout at cocktail hour but I find if most are coupled, singles are not usually included for dinner, etc.This was from Singapore and lots of Australians coupled.  Better that being payed-out on Atlantic or RSVP

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Hi Zitsky

 

Ovation of the Seas is not a gay cruise line. It is a quantum class Royal Caribbean ship. The guy giving the unwanted attention was somebody we met at the nightly LGBT meetup.

I did not let the incident ruin the cruise and luckily we did not see much of the guy afterwards. I just thought it was disrespectful to the relationship I have with my partner.

 

I do realize it is only a mild incident when you consider all the crap women/girls get put through as portrayed by the news lately - sexual harassment, rape, domestic violence, etc.

 

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It's disappointing to read about some of the experiences that people have had. We are heading on our 4th cruise in a few weeks and in the past have only had minor annoyances about our being gay and a couple. My response was to give these two couples (both as it happens missionaries) every detail about our wedding. I got the sense that they were not expecting that but as they were chatting about their weddings I was sure that they would want to know about ours.

 

Overall we have met great people on our cruises and anticipate the same this time. We might try the LGBT meeting on Princess this time but as I have read here being gay doesn't necessarily mean polite behaviour. It sounds like going to a gay bar at home but with less clothes.

 

Happy cruising everyone!

 

Randy &Gus

 

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I really appreciated this thread, and am coming out of lurking to say my big takeaway is choosing the right cruise and cruise line for what you want to get our of your vacation is supremely important here — about as important as not being lecherous/snobbish/judgmental jerks and not reading too much into people who don't want to socialize or make new friends. 

 

In our case, my husband and I chose to do a TA on Viking (his first) next month because we are freaking exhausted after a heck of a year, needing to force ourselves to disconnect for two weeks. We both have high-contact jobs and a very active social life with our family and friends. We're both in our 40's and happy with the party days that are behind us, and we aren't looking to grow our social network nor are we looking to display any sort of socio-economic status.

 

This is why we gave NCL, Princess, Cunard, the 100% gay cruises and other lines that do great things for other purposes a pass. We just plain want to rest and enjoy each other semi-privately. We will be polite and won't dismiss anyone, but interaction will have its limits so we can get the therapeutic value we paid for. I hope you all do the same careful choosing to get what you want out of your hard-earned vacations. Bon voyage! 

Edited by mizezslo

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16 minutes ago, mizezslo said:

I really appreciated this thread, and am coming out of lurking to say my big takeaway is choosing the right cruise and cruise line for what you want to get our of your vacation is supremely important here — about as important as not being a lecherous/snobbish/judgmental jerks and not reading too much into people who don't want to socialize or make new friends. 

 

In our case, my husband and I chose to do a TA on Viking (his first) next month because we are freaking exhausted after a heck of a year, needing to force ourselves to disconnect for two weeks. We both have high-contact jobs and a very active social life with our family and friends. We're both in our 40's and happy with the party days that are behind us, and we aren't looking to grow our social network nor are we looking to display any sort of socio-economic status.

 

This is why we gave NCL, Princess, Cunard, the 100% gay cruises and other lines that do great things for other purposes a pass. We just plain want to rest and enjoy each other semi-privately. We will be polite and won't dismiss anyone, but interaction will have its limits so we can get the therapeutic value we paid for. I hope you all do the same careful choosing to get what you want out of your hard-earned vacations. Bon voyage! 

 

I think your approach is pretty common based on my recent experience on NCL.  We met a few people but many seemed to want to stay in their existing social circle.  They would be polite when you ran into them.  But you would not see them otherwise.  Maybe a wave or short conversation in the restaurant.  That's about it.

 

Now our next trip is on Viking but I wouldn't expect it to be very different.  On two river cruises we met maybe 1 couple but didn't get very far in getting to know them.  I think Viking Ocean will be the same, people staying in their comfort zone.

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24 minutes ago, mizezslo said:

I really appreciated this thread, and am coming out of lurking to say my big takeaway is choosing the right cruise and cruise line for what you want to get our of your vacation is supremely important here — about as important as not being lecherous/snobbish/judgmental jerks and not reading too much into people who don't want to socialize or make new friends. 

 

In our case, my husband and I chose to do a TA on Viking (his first) next month because we are freaking exhausted after a heck of a year, needing to force ourselves to disconnect for two weeks. We both have high-contact jobs and a very active social life with our family and friends. We're both in our 40's and happy with the party days that are behind us, and we aren't looking to grow our social network nor are we looking to display any sort of socio-economic status.

 

This is why we gave NCL, Princess, Cunard, the 100% gay cruises and other lines that do great things for other purposes a pass. We just plain want to rest and enjoy each other semi-privately. We will be polite and won't dismiss anyone, but interaction will have its limits so we can get the therapeutic value we paid for. I hope you all do the same careful choosing to get what you want out of your hard-earned vacations. Bon voyage! 

I agree with what you said.  I have experienced NCL only and had a positive experience for the most part.  One NCL cruise was great to meet people and we hung out the entire trip.  The second trip LGBT meet and greet  on NCL was only couples which were not interested in including any solo travelers.  That was unfortunate.  Hit or miss.But I like that the cocktail meeting was out in the main part of the ship and not off to another part hidden away.

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21 minutes ago, DocRonPS said:

I agree with what you said.  I have experienced NCL only and had a positive experience for the most part.  One NCL cruise was great to meet people and we hung out the entire trip.  The second trip LGBT meet and greet  on NCL was only couples which were not interested in including any solo travelers.  That was unfortunate.  Hit or miss.But I like that the cocktail meeting was out in the main part of the ship and not off to another part hidden away.

 

My NCL Sun meetups were at the Champagne Bar.  You didn't see many people after the first few days (2 week cruise).  I think people made friends and formed groups right away, and stayed in them the rest of the cruise.

 

NCL was quite a few couples.  

Edited by zitsky

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14 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

My NCL Sun meetups were at the Champagne Bar.  You didn't see many people after the first few days (2 week cruise).  I think people made friends and formed groups right away, and stayed in them the rest of the cruise.

 

NCL was quite a few couples.  

Just got to put yourself out there and see.  I realized that I just needed to introduce myself and see what happens.  Hit or miss.   I would see the usual people at 530 each night...but most had speciality dinner reservations which is difficult to include other.  Have fun on Viking.  Very upscale.

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On 2/14/2019 at 1:17 PM, DocRonPS said:

Just got to put yourself out there and see.  I realized that I just needed to introduce myself and see what happens.  Hit or miss.   I would see the usual people at 530 each night...but most had speciality dinner reservations which is difficult to include other.  Have fun on Viking.  Very upscale.

It's the "just put yourself out there..." that terrifies me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Especially as a solo cruiser, each cruise I start with the best intentions, I'll just "put myself out there..." but each time I get to the bar and all the cliques have already formed, and the circles have already closed. I don't really expect other people's crusie experiences to be about my insecurities, but certainly there must be a better way to stage a meet up.

 

 

 

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23 minutes ago, Tom.Kitten said:

It's the "just put yourself out there..." that terrifies me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Especially as a solo cruiser, each cruise I start with the best intentions, I'll just "put myself out there..." but each time I get to the bar and all the cliques have already formed, and the circles have already closed. I don't really expect other people's crusie experiences to be about my insecurities, but certainly there must be a better way to stage a meet up.

 

 

 

I walk up and start a conversation to find out about the person...and sit down with them all.  If you look afraid to meet, then you will not be approachable. That being said, and I am able to get into the group, after the meet and greet, some just go off on already made plans and they don't want a single..sad.  I had that on my last one and go really stuck with a curmudgeon.  LOL  The RSPV and Atlantis are a not for me anymore...too much gaydom!!  I have tried with CC to get a roll call for LGBT TRAVELERS  but not sure where to post.  Have fun and you cannot control others.  Also, dont arrive late.  sounds like everyone is already there..so get there a few min prior to start time.  

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When I would get just the briefest hellos on my cruise, I would wonder if I said something online or in person to offend someone.  My sense of humor is rather dry and sarcastic but i try to tone that down in person.

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On 2/14/2019 at 12:12 PM, mizezslo said:

I really appreciated this thread, and am coming out of lurking to say my big takeaway is choosing the right cruise and cruise line for what you want to get our of your vacation is supremely important here — about as important as not being lecherous/snobbish/judgmental jerks and not reading too much into people who don't want to socialize or make new friends. 

 

In our case, my husband and I chose to do a TA on Viking (his first) next month because we are freaking exhausted after a heck of a year, needing to force ourselves to disconnect for two weeks. We both have high-contact jobs and a very active social life with our family and friends. We're both in our 40's and happy with the party days that are behind us, and we aren't looking to grow our social network nor are we looking to display any sort of socio-economic status.

 

This is why we gave NCL, Princess, Cunard, the 100% gay cruises and other lines that do great things for other purposes a pass. We just plain want to rest and enjoy each other semi-privately. We will be polite and won't dismiss anyone, but interaction will have its limits so we can get the therapeutic value we paid for. I hope you all do the same careful choosing to get what you want out of your hard-earned vacations. Bon voyage! 

 

Brilliant post!  

 

I got off NCL Epic a couple weeks ago. Found a great deal on a 10 day W. Carib. leaving the next day.  I had been on many cruises but never NCL.  Outside of the gym, I barely spoke to anyone.  I sat by myself with the tablet and Bose QC35 headphones.  Every night the hostess would ask if I wanted to join someone.  I always declined. 

 

I also have to interact a lot in day-to-day life.  It's nice to give it a rest sometimes.  I'm leaving on a TA in 25 days.  We have a very active roll call. I'm not sure if there are any other gay people or not, but that doesn't really matter.

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Posted (edited)

I don't know, we've been on several Carnival cruises, 12 cruises under my belt, and I can say that Carnival does have  a "Friends of Dorothy" get together on every cruise.  This is so that LGBT+ individuals are able to meet and greet each other, which is in their "Fun Times" that the passengers receive daily.

As for the "unfriendly gays on cruises", I can say that my fiance and I have a few times interacted with other LGBT+ individuals on our cruises.  What I can say is that many individuals we have come across usually act inappropriate (i.e. flirt, touchy, ask how big we are, ask if we have an open relationship, etc.).  This I feel is the reason why we are more apprehensive on talking to other LGBT+ individuals, because of the boundary/impulse control issues.  Now I obviously am not speaking for all but just our own personal experience, which hasn't been good. 

Edited by Cusp79

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That is too  bad for you both to experience that.  Might as well be on an Atlantis cruise is where you find that behavior.  My first NCL "Friends of Dorothy" was fantastic.  We all went to meals and excursions. More adult age. The last one only couples of young/newbies that tend to exclude solos and others outside their group. But we all had fund and Meet and Greet.  I don't go on cruises for that. Did that with RSVP/Atlantis.  I just go and meet all sorts of people....gay/straight. Open up around others.  Are you soon to cruise?

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I've had a few bad experiences but it doesn't stop me from socializing. 

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Agree.  Don't have to always socialize with LGBT people only.   If you are not into socializing, they do a land tour alone! 

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45 minutes ago, DocRonPS said:

Agree.  Don't have to always socialize with LGBT people only.   If you are not into socializing, they do a land tour alone! 

 

We met one lesbian couple on a river cruise.  More people on our first ocean cruise.  But we would smile and wave.  That was about it.

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Have meet lots of fun folks. Mostly men and coupled but as a single lesbian it was always a fun group  

rarely see other=single women 

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Maybe we don't need "community" as much as we once did but I think we need to re-discover it.  Not just because of the times we are living in but for the young people coming behind us.  They still need us so lets be stewards for them.  If it's just a twink looking for a hook up, just let them be.  We may still have purpose for those coming behind us.  

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btw,  we are Cruising Princess (first time Princes) to Hawaii December 3rd.  15 nights!   If you are on board, would love to meet you! 

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8 minutes ago, MishelleMcc said:

Maybe we don't need "community" as much as we once did but I think we need to re-discover it.  Not just because of the times we are living in but for the young people coming behind us.  They still need us so lets be stewards for them.  If it's just a twink looking for a hook up, just let them be.  We may still have purpose for those coming behind us.  

 

There's the typical "problem" of young people wanting to hang out with other young people (which I understand) not older folks like me.

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