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Hyena Snow

Completely terrified of doing another solo cruise.

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I have never cruised alone, but I love traveling alone. I imagine if I cruised alone it would be no different than my pursuits in solo land travels. I don’t solo travel to meet people, make friends, etc.. I solo travel for peace, relaxation,  parasympathetic activities, meditation, etc.. I’ve been on 5 cruises and never really made friends with anyone. I go with my family. I’m not there to make friends. And if I went alone, I wouldnt be there to make friends. I’d want to be left alone. Otherwise it would defeat the entire purpose of going alone. But when I travel alone, I seek out cottages far off the beaten path so as to avoid human contact as much as possible, so a cruise definitely wouldn’t be my choice. 

Edited by amandaepperson21

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On 12/1/2018 at 10:18 PM, Hyena Snow said:

Hello new to the forum been wanting to join for a while and finally did it. Cutting straight to the point  2 solo trips, NCL sky 3 day and Carnival Victory 3 day. Horrible horrible experiences making never want to do cruising again. They all made me feel left out, couldn't connect with anyone so most time was spent in my cabin upset and no one cared. It almost got to the point where I was going to get off the ship at port and not get back on and fly back home. I already have a hard time making friends and I though hmm cruises may be able to open my shell NOPE! just made my depression worse. I even tried the Dr Suess. Character breakfast, sat me down at the table with another group of people who looked like they didn't want me there so I got up and left and never came back, wasn't even there for 2 minutes. I looked through window where the character breakfast was taking place ( I know creepy but I wanted to go back so bad but didn't ) I didn't stay the whole time though. I don't have a lot of money so I feel like the wealthier one's were getting treated better then I was and that just threw fuel in the fire. NCL sky was no different drunk people everywhere because of the open bar thing and I don't drink so what was I doing on that ship? I don't know. It was like cruises didn't want to have nothing to with me. I felt my skin color had lot to do with it too. My personal vacation was trying to encourage me to take another cruise, why? so I sit in my cabin the whole time I'm sorry but not happening I don't know how other solo's do it because they always stories that they met wonderful people and had a great time, where are these wonderful people? because I certainly didn't meet them maybe because I'm not a social butterfly go figure. Wrong cruise lines? traveling wrong time? what is the deal? I expect to have a good time not be miserable and watch others have all the fun. I starting to believe that traveling is not for me or cruises for that matter.  How hard is it for you to say hi? Or ask "do you want to join us? or even acknowledge that I am there? I paid like everyone else. Sorry for for long rant but this is crazy it shouldn't be like this feeling pressured to drink just to have fun. Oh man I am getting upset from writing this but I had to get this off my chest something has to be done about this. 

 

Is this a joke?  I'm serious ... I'm not making fun. There is something out of proportion here. 

 

First I would say is to get OFF of those 3 day cruises.  Those are typically labeled PARTY (drunk) cruises.  7 - 10 day cruises you may find a more appealing group. 

 

I am divorced ... I am not a pretty 20 something twig ... I am a very mature ... Rubenesque woman.  I have been on 3 cruises as a solo.  I have met and talked to and gone on excursions with people ... but I seem to remember it was ME who asked ... "may I share your table" ... "mind if I join you?"  .... I started up a conversation with people just sitting on a bench waiting for the shuttle bus to take us back to the ship!  Me?  I am NOT an extrovert.  But I have found when I wanted to be with people and talk to people ... I am with them ... they talk to me and I talk to them.  When I want to be away from the crowds ... I spend some time in my cabin.  Now ... my first part of a recent B2B cruise was 11 days and I purchased 5 drinks on that 11 day cruise. I drank 4 of them and sent one to the piano player.  SO ... I did not 'get drunk' to have a good time.  Go to the shows, comedian, etc. alone!  I always mentioned to the Maitre'D that I was open to sharing a table. If not possible, I was fine dining alone. 

 

This does seem to be your own personal doing.  Your own creation, to a degree.  

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14 hours ago, NLH Arizona said:

Not for solos who sail in the solo cabins, where there is a lounge and a coordinator who sets up dinners, etc.  Not my style, but a great way if others want to meet folks.

 

I have to say these solo meet ups on my last B2B NCL Gem were fantastic. The coordinator had our dining times all set and we walked past everyone standing in line and were seated.  Danni ... our NCL Coordinator also handed out spa gift certificates, free bingo cards, etc.  It was wonderful to have a place to get caught up with everyone and have a great dinner group.  

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Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

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1 hour ago, Hyena Snow said:

 I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

 Good start.  Now join your roll call to start dialog with others who will be on the ship.  Plan excursions to get you off the ship with others.  Ask for traditional dining so you have the same table mates the  whole cruise.

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4 hours ago, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

Glad you found something that you think will fit.  I hope it goes much more smoothly for you.

I do caution about writing off an entire cruise line from a 3 day experience, however. 

I am a pretty picky traveler but was very happy with my NCL Dawn cruise recently.  Granted, I am most likely some decades older than you, but I went for rest and relaxation.  A balcony was affordable so I took it.  The ship was only at about 65% capacity so there was lots of space, I didn't see anyone drunk, felt no need to hang out at the bar or casino. I enjoyed numerous shows.  I joined both the Cruise Critic and FB roll call for the cruise and there were a lot of solo travelers on it...because the price was great.  It was a 9 days repositioning cruise which isn't appealing to a number of folks who may be out for an easy to reach party cruise.

I did join in a couple of things, or met with other solo people from my roll call; and they were really happy with their solo get togethers for the opportunity to eat together at dinner.  Me - I could care less. 

I am not one to become a cheer leader for any specific cruise line, hotel chain etc, but NCL is very popular with solo travelers so perhaps keep an open mind and base decisions on a specific ship or itinerary rather than an entire cruise line.

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4 hours ago, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

 

I have taken many cruises with others and solo. For me NCL is preferable to RCL mainly because the food on RCL is not at all to my liking. Although I always meet people I enjoy talking to if I go solo I plan to enjoy being alone. There are always singles meet ups but I have never been interested in that. On RCL you can choose to at an assigned table, I find that I usually end up with 2 or 3 married couples. That’s ok but maybe not what you are hoping for. For solo trips to meet people I would suggest a land tour with a company like Gate1. Being with the same group of for 8-14 days fosters an environment for long term friendships. I have traveled again with many new friends that I have met on these tours, it’s great!. 

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On 12/3/2018 at 4:11 AM, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

Not sure why you say NCL should not even be in operation.  They are a successful cruise line and appeal to many people.  There are pluses and minuses to every cruise line. 

 

I hope you enjoy the Oasis of the Seas and RCCL but don't think that everything will be perfect.  You're setting yourself up for disappointment. 

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Dr Seuss character breakfast???  How old are you?  What sort of people did you expect to find there at this type of thing?  Stayed in your cabin?? STOP  Get your but out and about and just talk to people.  You don't have to drink to sit at the bar, go to a comedy show, participate in the various ship activities.  If someone doesn't want to chat with you, no big deal just move on to someone else. The whole "because of my skin color" is NONSENSE.   I'm a 47 year old single male and will chat with just about anybody.  (avoiding children for obvious reasons and chatting up women who are there with their hubby/boyfriend (don't really want my arse kicked haha))    Drop the whole "who is me" attitude and just enjoy life and don't count on others bending over backwards to make you happy. 

 

I'm sure there will be a few that don't like my reply because i didn't have sympathy for the OP, and to those i say too bad. Life is tough, suck it up and don't count on others to make you happy.

Edited by TruckerDave

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41 minutes ago, TruckerDave said:

Dr Seuss character breakfast???  How old are you?  What sort of people did you expect to find there at this type of thing?  Stayed in your cabin?? STOP  Get your but out and about and just talk to people.  You don't have to drink to sit at the bar, go to a comedy show, participate in the various ship activities.  If someone doesn't want to chat with you, no big deal just move on to someone else. The whole "because of my skin color" is NONSENSE.   I'm a 47 year old single male and will chat with just about anybody.  (avoiding children for obvious reasons and chatting up women who are there with their hubby/boyfriend (don't really want my arse kicked haha))    Drop the whole "who is me" attitude and just enjoy life and don't count on others bending over backwards to make you happy. 

 

I'm sure there will be a few that don't like my reply because i didn't have sympathy for the OP, and to those i say too bad. Life is tough, suck it up and don't count on others to make you happy.

 

I too said much the same thing.  And truly, I started travelling alone in 2015 and found myself talking to people and making friends ... some  friends to this day ... and being an extrovert is not my natural habitat.  

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2 minutes ago, CruiseGal999 said:

 

I too said much the same thing.  And truly, I started travelling alone in 2015 and found myself talking to people and making friends ... some  friends to this day ... and being an extrovert is not my natural habitat.  

Me either.  By my screen name one can tell what i do, so I am in a new place everyday and meeting new folks all the time. I have met some really interesting folks over the years doing this job. (The most interesting was a guy from Bosnia(I think it was)  who was a soldier during the war and he had some interesting stories about that time., But I digress).   I have always thought that having a working knowledge of world events, sports and just general stuff helps break the ice and helps being able to make small talk with just about any one.  If they are form another country and like to talk, even better as I love learning about other places. I just avoid politics, religion and social issues. Unless one is just such in introvert they can't/won't talk then there is no reason to stay in their cabin alone. 

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On ‎12‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 1:38 AM, CruiseGal999 said:

 

Is this a joke?  I'm serious ... I'm not making fun. There is something out of proportion here. 

This does seem to be your own personal doing.  Your own creation, to a degree.  

but OP is simply surrounded by wealthy drunk racists on the cruise, who are getting much better treatment... It's not her fault she is not enjoying the cruise.

 

Something is definitely amiss with that original post.

 

P.S. You couldn't find a bigger introvert than my mom. She is painfully shy, even though she is approaching 70. She was with us on the cruise sans dad (he couldn't join us) on a failed Norwegian Jade cruise 2 weeks ago, and even though we met with her for dinner and shows only, I saw her on the ship having a ton of fun on sea days: doing group dances on the pool deck, reading a book by the pool, going to dance classes, roaming about the ship to take pictures, she even went to some seminar in the morning, even though she doesn't speak English.

 

Last year it was the same on Princess: even though my dad joined us, he couldn't leave their stateroom much because he was in a debilitating pain at the time, so my mom did all sorts of fun things on the ship by herself.

It's all about your attitude.

Edited by Itchy&Scratchy

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On 12/2/2018 at 11:48 AM, NLH Arizona said:

I think a lot has to do with the OP wanting people to make the first move in introducing themselves or talking to her and if they don't, then the victim card for her skin color comes to her mind, instead of her thinking that it might be her that is sabotaging her from meeting people.  I don't think anyone cares what color her skin is or whether she has as much money as they do, but they do care if she looks and acts like she wants to meet other people.

 

Aw, c'mon, she gave those people 2 whole minutes.

I knew this was a bunch of nonsense the moment I saw 'Terrified' in the thread title.

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On 12/3/2018 at 2:11 AM, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   


It won't be any better if your attitude doesn't change.

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On 12/3/2018 at 4:11 AM, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

Don’t miss the ice show and the Aqua show. 

I’m not much for cruise entertainment, but I never miss these two. 

You can have breakfast free at Johnny Rockets and at Wipeout. They’re a nice change for the dining room and the buffet. 

Please do greet people with a big smile and they’ll smile back. 

No one in a cruise knows how much money you have and as far as ethnicity, black, white or purple, most people are happy to be cruising and willing to chat with anyone. 

Remember the big smile and please come back and tell us how your Oasis cruise goes🤗

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On 12/9/2018 at 2:56 PM, jagsfan said:

Don’t miss the ice show and the Aqua show. 

I’m not much for cruise entertainment, but I never miss these two. 

You can have breakfast free at Johnny Rockets and at Wipeout. They’re a nice change for the dining room and the buffet. 

Please do greet people with a big smile and they’ll smile back. 

No one in a cruise knows how much money you have and as far as ethnicity, black, white or purple, most people are happy to be cruising and willing to chat with anyone. 

Remember the big smile and please come back and tell us how your Oasis cruise goes🤗

 

 

 

Nice post.  A pleasure to read.

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I agree with some of the advice of previous posters. The problem isn't with the cruise ship, cruise line or passengers. You didn't have a good time because you didn't do what you needed to do to have a good time.  I encourage you to take the advice you've read here to heart.  One of my favorite quotes is, "Wherever you go, there you are." Whenever you travel, you take your own quirks with you, good or bad.  So if you have introvert tendencies, you can either push out of your comfort zone a bit and reach out to folks, or stay within the comfort zone and maybe end up having negative experiences like you had.

 

Also, I'm not into talking about race or ethnicity or politics, but as a person of color (and a hardcore introvert)... I get it. When you know that there are people in the world who think certain ways about you because of your skin color, a whole level of anxiety can be added to social situations where you interact with strangers.  Really, any personal characteristic that is visible can add an anxiety about being judged by others...ethnicity, able-bodiedness, weight, etc. In any case, when I get nervous about stuff like this, and I do, I work hard on my positive self-talk. I think to myself " I've worked hard to be here and I belong here." or "I'm here to have a great vacation and meet new interesting folks." Or maybe, most importantly, " My interactions with these new folks are well-intentioned, and I'm 100% sure their interactions with me are well-intentioned. So I'm going to take a risk,  be extra friendly and see what I get back. If I never fail, that means I've never tried to do anything."

 

In any case, I hope you try cruising again.

 

*For fellow posters who have responded to the OP in negative ways, being sarcastic, dismissive or judgmental, I'm not sure why you take the time to respond. A person reacting differently to something, or being interested in something you might not do doesn't invalidate their experience or feelings.

 

If your intent was to cement the OP's fears about fellow passengers, you've outdone yourself.

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Really sorry it happened to you! I've enjoyed my solo vacations [that being, those comprise almost all my trips, cruising or not].

 

I'm not the most social either, but let me assure you people are far friendlier on a cruise than out in the "real world". Strike up a conversation - you'll go places yet!

 

 

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I always cruise solo and I love it.

 

  Once the complaining starts, I am either picking my book up or finding another spot.  Occasionally I meet other solo cruisers who sound like the OP and I notice they have similar complaints about their non cruising life.  

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You might want to try an escorted tour of some sort.  Cruising is certainly not the be all and end all of travel products.

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If I was traveling solo and looking for someone to talk to, I wouldn't pick a husband and wife couple or a group. I would look for someone sitting by themselves and engage them in conversation. That said, my husband and I have befriended singles on a cruise who we met through CC get-togethers.  One place that is a conversation starter are the bridge viewing rooms. I've started (and so did the other person) lots of conversations that lasted quite a while. 

 

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On 12/3/2018 at 3:11 AM, Hyena Snow said:

Thanks to those who responded but like someone said 3 day cruises is a big no no and I believe I chosen the wrong cruise line plus wrong boat. Carnival didn't suit me, NCL should not even be in operation but I think I found the perfect cruise line and ship. Oasis Of The Seas it has everything I could possibly enjoy. I wanted to do Symphony Of The Seas but they were booked up. It's a little out of my budget but I could make it work I really want to the Oasis. 7 days Southern Caribbean. 7 days should be more then enough.   

Sorry you had such a poor experience on your first two cruises.  I have always sailed solo and have done over 20 cruises, over half of them on NCL.  I sail more for the itinerary than the ship.  We all have things we like and don't like about cruising.  Yes the mega ships have a lot more bells and whistles than the smaller ships, but they all go to the same places over and over again because there are not many ports that can handle that many people.  I would not sail on the mega ships even if it was a free cruise as I would not enjoy that experience at all.  I do not sail for the ship itself, which most mega ship passengers do.  

 

As others have mentioned, go ahead and join the roll call for your next cruise.  It will give you a chance to meet some people before you even sail, and if they have a Meet & Mingle, please attend so you get to meet the other people on your roll call.  Some people are more introverted and some more extroverted than others.  I have never had trouble meeting people on any cruise that I have been on, but I am probably more of an extrovert than anything.  I join in the trivia and other opportunities available aboard ship, and have met some wonderful people that way.  I was on the NCL Jade last week and met some people from South Africa that I played trivia with.  I also met some people from Brazil, Uraguay, and of course the US.  I have sailed on most of the mass market lines and have not had any cruises where I did not enjoy them.  Yes, some more than others, but that is more about me, than the other passengers.  Hope you have better luck on your next cruise.  Smooth Sailing.

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5 hours ago, Markanddonna said:

If I was traveling solo and looking for someone to talk to, I wouldn't pick a husband and wife couple or a group.

 

then you'd miss out on talking to me... :) I can talk for hours and I love it, whereas my hubs won't talk at all. Just because we are sitting together doesn't mean none of us will talk. My DH has had to drag me away from other people many times....

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