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Cruisingformetime

Managing Mouthy Travel Companions?

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This is for those of you who have done world / Europe / Middle East / Asia cruises.

 

Have you ever done so with a traveling companion who simply cannot keep their opinions to themselves, on the ship or off of it? Sex, religion, politics, it doesn't matter. How did you deal with this (preferably without the use of duct tape, although duct tape might be an option....)

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3 minutes ago, Cruisingformetime said:

world / Europe / Middle East / Asia cruises.

 

Why just those? And I'd deal with it by not traveling with them.

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9 minutes ago, clo said:

Why just those? And I'd deal with it by not traveling with them.

 

Agree. Why put yourself in the position of “his handler”. 

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OK. Seriously, we chose our travel companions carefully. We don’t voluntarily spend time with someone like to OP described. 
On occasion, small ship or river cruises come to mind, we are tossed into a group with a “bad” traveler. If the ignore button doesn’t work, we will advise our trip leader. Fortunately the trip leader usually is on top of things and proactively deals with the problem child. 

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@Cruisingformetime Are you asking for yourself? If so, more information would be helpful. Is this person a relation, friend, co-worker? Can you change your traveling arrangements? It sounds like you may worried about offending another culture. Could you not sit down with the person before embarkation and calmly voice your concern? Some thing like "Hey ZZZ, I love how outspoken you are. I agree with most of your views and generally admire your willingness to shout them from the rooftop. I was thinking about our trip and how the culture in XYZ is different from home. Have you given any thought to that?"

Edited by JennyB1977

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9 minutes ago, dd likes to cruise said:

 

Agree. Why put yourself in the position of “his handler”. 

 

When it's your twin brother... 🙂

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7 minutes ago, Cruisingformetime said:

 

When it's your twin brother... 🙂

So what? I haven't spoken to my brother in probably ten years. Again, why those specific parts of the world?

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37 minutes ago, Cruisingformetime said:

This is for those of you who have done world / Europe / Middle East / Asia cruises.

 

Have you ever done so with a traveling companion who simply cannot keep their opinions to themselves, on the ship or off of it? Sex, religion, politics, it doesn't matter. How did you deal with this (preferably without the use of duct tape, although duct tape might be an option....)

I would never travel with someone like that, no matter who they were.  Even if I agreed with their opinion

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5 minutes ago, clo said:

So what? I haven't spoken to my brother in probably ten years. Again, why those specific parts of the world?

 

I think "world" might cover all parts.  Just sayin. 😉

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7 minutes ago, ldubs said:

 

I think "world" might cover all parts.  Just sayin. 😉

Yeah. I guess just say "cruise."

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I Would say challenge them if they are saying things that are offensive, just let them know what they are saying is not acceptable in public .

 

For the harmony of the group you will have to let some things go though.

 

I agree with the suggestion of an earlier poster about talking to them before the cruise.

 

People are on holiday and want to get away from the normal everyday issues and don't want to talk about their religion or politics, let him know this two.

 

If the worse comes about then just pretend you don't know him😉

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You can deal with people like that constructively, without cutting them out of your life forever, or even for the length of a cruise. It can be effective to positively but quietly state that you love them but are not comfortable being in their presence when they speak about XYZ——unless they are willing to listen to other opinions. Tell them the confines of a cruise in particular exacerbate the problem and you will walk away if they continue after being asked to stop. Then do it! You might be surprised how effective that can be—-even if you might have to leave the dinner table. It is amazing how much even the thickest of heads notice and change.

Now some of you will ask “why should I have to leave the table”? While that doesn’t exactly seem “fair”, you can’t really expel them and it does work. Miss one dinner or spend the entire cruise, and after, feeling resentful.

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Wouldn't travel with them.

I loved my parents very much, but there were certain social situations that my wife and I would excuse ourselves from.

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10 minutes ago, Cruisingformetime said:

 

When it's your twin brother... 🙂

 

To me that would make it worse.  People may confuse the 2 of you and think YOU are the unfiltered one!  😇

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1 hour ago, Cruisingformetime said:

 

When it's your twin brother... 🙂


Unless you're conjoined there's no reason you must travel together.

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54 minutes ago, clo said:

Yeah. I guess just say "cruise."

 

Haha, you are really hung up over this aren't you.  Let it go Clo!  

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We would deal with it by choosing not to travel with them - relative or not - as IMO there is nothing worse than those types of discussions, particularly while on vacation and likely among other strangers.  

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2 hours ago, Cruisingformetime said:

 

When it's your twin brother... 🙂

 

That just means you have no excuse, because you knew who you were going with and what he is like.

 

But this demonstrates another of my life observations: most misery is self-imposed.

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my sister has the gift of opinionated gab.  A bonafide no filter Felicia, knowing this is half the battle, dealing with it is another.  I have resorted to using body language the she understands. When her inquisition becomes uncomfortable, I turn face her and stare.  That's her cue, and usually works, if not I turn and walk away and since it's usually about her, she excuses herself and follows me.  At the table I'll carefully lean over and whisper " you have something in between your teeth " (code)   she either stops talking or excuses her self from company.  

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1 hour ago, 2wheelin said:

You can deal with people like that constructively, without cutting them out of your life forever, or even for the length of a cruise. It can be effective to positively but quietly state that you love them but are not comfortable being in their presence when they speak about XYZ——unless they are willing to listen to other opinions. Tell them the confines of a cruise in particular exacerbate the problem and you will walk away if they continue after being asked to stop. Then do it! You might be surprised how effective that can be—-even if you might have to leave the dinner table. It is amazing how much even the thickest of heads notice and change.

Now some of you will ask “why should I have to leave the table”? While that doesn’t exactly seem “fair”, you can’t really expel them and it does work. Miss one dinner or spend the entire cruise, and after, feeling resentful.

 

Most of us go on vacation to relax and have a good time, not to try to reform an idiot.

 

"Miss one dinner or spend the entire cruise, and after, feeling resentful."

 

Or do neither by not traveling with them.

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1 minute ago, Toofarfromthesea said:

 

Most of us go on vacation to relax and have a good time, not to try to reform an idiot.

 

"Miss one dinner or spend the entire cruise, and after, feeling resentful."

 

Or do neither by not traveling with them.

And some of us try to solve problems and get along with people. Not just toss them aside. Speak to them before the cruise then.

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2 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

I think "world" might cover all parts.  Just sayin. 😉

I actually was wondering why they didn't include S. America. We've spent a lot of time there and two of our last three cruises were to or through there. But yeah, you're right.

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29 minutes ago, 2wheelin said:

And some of us try to solve problems and get along with people. Not just toss them aside. Speak to them before the cruise then.

 

I live my life and I encourage other people to live their life.  I don't want anyone, other than my wife. reforming me, and I would regard any such effort as offensive.  So, turn it around, and the Confucian version of the Golden Rule applies:  Don't do to others what you don't want done to yourself.

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