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“So a Penguin, a Horse and Polar Bear walk into a bar on the Edge...


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5 minutes ago, alibaba1 said:


I Live in California, and I'm currently at home. During DST, we have the same time as AZ, as AZ doesn't observe DST. However, I'll be in AZ on Saturday night, into Sunday. We will be coming home on Monday. 


I'm pretty sure I have no idea what time it is, or will be. 




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A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender “what’s with the meat?”

The bartender says, “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?”

The man takes another look at the meat, then says, “I think I’ll pass. The steaks are too high.”

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Today's groaner.....


A group of automobile journalists were discussing the Tesla model S and one of them commented that the car was as slow as a snail. The other journalist disagreed so they took a model S to the track just to see if it was really as slow as a snail.  When the car took off like it was shot out of a cannon, all the journalists said "man look at that S car go".

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus one day.

She noticed the man sitting opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time his smile turned into a grin, so she moved seats again.

The man seemed even more amused.

After her third and finally a fourth move, the man bursts out laughing.

The woman complains to the bus driver, who stops the bus and has the man arrested.


After a while the case finally came up in court.

The Judge asked the 20 year old man what he had to say for himself.

”Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice

her condition.

She was sitting under a sign that said, ’The Double Mint Twins are coming’, and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ’Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile.

Next she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ’William's Big Stick did the Trick’ and I could hardly contain myself!

But Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time, and sat under a sign that said,

’Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident!’ I just lost it.”

The Judge, trying not to laugh replied, “Case dismissed!”





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