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To add some humour...


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Did you hear the one about the guy with no hands that got the town’s bell tower ringer job and would ring the bell with his head…one day unfortunately he was ringing the bell, got caught off-guard and the bell knocked him over and he fell to his death. Passers-by in the town gathered around at the unfortunate scene and someone asked if anyone knew his name…the town cryer spoke up and said, “I can’t remember his name but his face sure rings a bell.”

So, some weeks later, in memory of his lost sibling, his younger brother honorably accepts the job to proudly ring the town’s bell like his brother before him. Well, it wasn’t many days later then when the young man fell victim to the same terrible fate as his brother. In a most unfortunate play of events, while admirably ringing the bells, the rope caught his foot, threw him off balance and well, sadly he fell out of balcony of the tower and like his brother, died instantly. Once again, passers-by gathered in bewilderment around the lifeless soul. Again someone asked, did anyone know his name? “No!…” cried one of the town’s people, “…but he’s a dead ringer for his brother!”

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Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar.
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, “How’s the singing career going?
Stevie replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?”
Woods replies, “Not too bad. I’ve had some problems with my swing but I think I’ve got that right now.”
Stevie: “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then the next time I play, it seems to be all right.”
Surprised, Tiger says, “You play GOLF?!!”
Stevie: “Yes, I’ve been playing for years.”
Tiger: “But ... you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?”
Stevie: “Well, I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddie moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.”
“But, how do you putt?” asks Tiger.
“Well”, says Stevie, “I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.”
Tiger: “What’s your handicap?”
Stevie: “Well, actually I’m a scratch golfer.”
Woods: incredulous says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”
Stevie: “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money. And I never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?”
Woods thinks about it and says, “I can afford that. OK I’m game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”
Stevie: “You pick a night.”
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