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To add some humour...


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1 hour ago, chengkp75 said:

 

We'll have a coupla bugs for you.  Running $5.50/lb right now, and dropping.

 

Wow!!  Heck of a price drop!  Lobsters out there partying with the reprieve of low demand?  

14 Best Jeff Pert! images | Funny, Cartoon, Unlikely friendsimage.jpeg.b982a07f5f12196e8cba34372be175eb.jpeg

 

Edited by island lady
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16 hours ago, jagsfan said:

That’s just cruel to tell us that!!

I’ll  bet the cost of a lobster roll hasn’t dropped, though. 

Rolls are going for about $12.

16 hours ago, island lady said:

 

Wow!!  Heck of a price drop!  Lobsters out there partying with the reprieve of low demand?  

14 Best Jeff Pert! images | Funny, Cartoon, Unlikely friendsimage.jpeg.b982a07f5f12196e8cba34372be175eb.jpeg

 

Not that great a drop, they normally run $5-6 a pound, and were $6 a couple of weeks ago.  We usually buy from lobstermen who sell them from live tanks in their garages, cutting out the middlemen.

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17 hours ago, island lady said:

 

Wow!!  Heck of a price drop!  Lobsters out there partying with the reprieve of low demand?  

14 Best Jeff Pert! images | Funny, Cartoon, Unlikely friendsimage.jpeg.b982a07f5f12196e8cba34372be175eb.jpeg

 

Our cousin in Maine  walks out his back door to the end of his dock with a bucket, hauls up his traps, throws the lobsters in the bucket and carries them to the kitchen. He made my first lobster roll many years ago when his father was a lobsterman and we had all the lobster we could eat.

I sure wish my DH didn’t think Florida to Maine hasn’t gotten to be too far to drive. 

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These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
___________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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  • read2learn changed the title to To add some Humour

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