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To add some humour...

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From forces aircrew:

"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil, for I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." At the entrance to the old SR71 operating base Kadena, Japan
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." From an old carrier pilot.
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter and therefore, unsafe."

"When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies."
"Never trade luck for skill."
"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."
"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot): "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum."

Jon McBride, astronaut:"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."

Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot):  
"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?"
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot )

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On 5/6/2020 at 11:21 PM, sandebeach said:



I thought that must be fake, but apparently not.  It is the vast, semi-submersible, heavy lift ship MV Blue Marlin:








Description: https://www.shiplilly.com/blog/blue-marlin-ship-ships-shipping-ships/


Some technical blurb: https://www.msc.navy.mil/publications/pressrel/press00/press22.htm


Discussion: https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/23913/is-this-a-ship-shipping-ship-shipping-shipping-ships


Sorry to be off-topic, but the original post was such a jaw-dropping photo.  Imagine seeing something like that as your cruise ship comes into port.  Nobody would ever believe you.


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15 hours ago, John&LaLa said:

Just got unfriended and blocked on Facebook by a French guy. We were talking about sports history and he asked me who won the first Tour de France. 
Apparently the 5th Panzer Division was the wrong answer! 😂


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  OMG,  thanks for that.  Made my day.

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13 hours ago, vettprincess said:

HI to you. Yes quite bad. I have an app on my phone that gives me all the crime and police calls near you and me and other neighborhoods. I look at it before I leave the house. Even the news said that crime is up a lot. I am "glad" that my beagle has passed almost a month ago. She would not have taken the heat and not going for her walks and being stuck inside all the time.


How are you? Thinking about cruises? My daughter and I look and dream of going again. We want the Odyssey when is sails sometime.

Are you taking cover from the possible tornadoes tonight or severe storms?

The app for a cell phone is called CITIZEN and download for free and no personal information.

The word is there are more riots coming to Minneapolis.

Be safe.




A humor thread is perhaps not the best place for this conversation?  

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On 5/11/2020 at 8:48 PM, Sheal said:



OMG.  This reminds me of when my 8 year old son asked his aunt to send in the paperwork to register his Koosa (you  also score more points if you remember what they were).  Apparently she transposed the letters spelling the creature's name wrong and the birth certificate said "Brain".  Oh, boy was he upset when he opened the mail that day! 


I had to look up the name since it was so long ago.  Apparently those things were out for years  before he got one.  He wasn't even born when they first showed up.  Then again, I was never one of those parents who waited in lines for days for some new toy to come out.  Guess that makes me a "mom from back then".


Aged about 8 we had to do a picture from a book we had read.  Mine was from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  I was very proud of my painting but the teacher, my parents and my brothers all reacted very oddly, with a poker face and strange comments like "Don't react" and "Don't say anything, he'll only ask what it means".


Under the main character I had written his name, Willy Wanka.


For some reason that one did not go on the 'fridge.  But it did reappear some years later when I started dating girls and took one home.  😳  😡

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On 5/13/2020 at 12:22 AM, John&LaLa said:





No pre-breakfast?  (Overnight hot chocolate and biscuits on CMV.)  No cake and cocktail for elevenses?  No cheeky pizza?  No high tea?  No actual dinner?  No bar nibbles?  No midnight buffet?  Amateur!


One day on a BBC Radio 2 early breakfast show (the one with Bubbles Latrine before she got sacked), the presenter read out an email with thing something like: "This is how dumb people on cruises are - I heard someone ask what time's the midnight buffet?"


The show was inundated for days with emails and letters from people about why the midnight buffet is sometimes scheduled early or late, about 24x7 buffets and all-night pizzerias, evening dining sittings and all the other eating options.  When someone asked whether there was anything else to do on cruises besides eat, it just turned into a show about cruising.


I wonder if there's a demand for a 24x7 Zoom chat room about cruises?

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  • read2learn changed the title to To add some Humour

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