S-and-J Posted July 20, 2020 #4776 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 12:40 AM, PompeySailor said: And Robin Hood That was William Tell, surely? The bint in the pointy hat seems a bit keen. Definitely an early Facebook user, or one of those "Send your fail video for $$$" people. To get back on-topic, I've searched for some Willam Tell jokes, but all those I can find end up with the punchline of a blind or dirty old man recognising the tune from a nude chorus line as bum, titty bum, titty bum bum bum. 🙄 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
island lady Posted July 20, 2020 #4777 Share Posted July 20, 2020 Here ya go: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobmacliberty Posted July 20, 2020 #4778 Share Posted July 20, 2020 This was the point in 2020 where we had given up: 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 20, 2020 #4779 Share Posted July 20, 2020 6 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-and-J Posted July 20, 2020 #4780 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 4:10 PM, John&LaLa said: Noooo, this is the box 2020 came in: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionesss Posted July 20, 2020 #4781 Share Posted July 20, 2020 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionesss Posted July 20, 2020 #4782 Share Posted July 20, 2020 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-and-J Posted July 20, 2020 #4783 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/4/2020 at 11:35 AM, A&L_Ont said: That gives me an excuse to promote my favourite comedy folk group: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-and-J Posted July 20, 2020 #4784 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/7/2020 at 3:00 PM, John&LaLa said: That reminds me of a story on the radio some years ago by some celebrity parking his expensive Range Rover in an inner city. A group of youths were hanging about and came up and said "Look after your car, mister. See it comes to no harm. £10". "That's OK" said the celebrity. "My Alsation is in the back; nobody will steal it with him there." "This Alsation" says the youth. "Put fires out, can he?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-and-J Posted July 20, 2020 #4785 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/8/2020 at 3:59 AM, John&LaLa said: A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.... A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is incandescent with rage now because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.😂 It is rare that I genuinely LOL, but that one did it for me, thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
island lady Posted July 20, 2020 #4786 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/19/2020 at 3:51 PM, Merion_Mom said: Sooo true!! Thanks for posting this!! 🙂 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 20, 2020 #4787 Share Posted July 20, 2020 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSHS1979 Posted July 20, 2020 #4788 Share Posted July 20, 2020 5 hours ago, grapau27 said: Your stories are hilarious. Graham.😂 Prince Charles was driving around his mother’s estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared. "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, " said the Genie" As a reward I shall grant you one wish." "Well, " said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog." They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me..?" the Prince asked. The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like..?" The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana, " said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman called Camilla, " and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Camilla isn’t beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana..?" The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let’s have another look at that dog" !! 5 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSHS1979 Posted July 20, 2020 #4789 Share Posted July 20, 2020 Truth 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zonacruiser25 Posted July 21, 2020 #4790 Share Posted July 21, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centurycruiser Posted July 21, 2020 #4791 Share Posted July 21, 2020 7 hours ago, Dennis#1 said: I went in for my prostate exam today. I asked the doctor "Where should I put my pants?" He said "over there on the chair next to mine." I got out of there fast! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 21, 2020 #4792 Share Posted July 21, 2020 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 21, 2020 #4793 Share Posted July 21, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 21, 2020 #4794 Share Posted July 21, 2020 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSHS1979 Posted July 21, 2020 #4795 Share Posted July 21, 2020 A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husbands temper..The doctor asks, " What's the problem? " The woman says, doctor, I don't know what to do..Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason, it scares me..The doctor says, " I have a cure for that..When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth..Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.." Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn..The woman says, doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water..I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that? The doctor says, " The water itself does nothing..It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.." 🙃 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 21, 2020 #4796 Share Posted July 21, 2020 11 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis#1 Posted July 21, 2020 #4797 Share Posted July 21, 2020 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A&L_Ont Posted July 21, 2020 #4798 Share Posted July 21, 2020 5 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandebeach Posted July 21, 2020 #4799 Share Posted July 21, 2020 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2chiefs Posted July 21, 2020 #4800 Share Posted July 21, 2020 On 7/19/2020 at 6:44 PM, John&LaLa said: I might have a weird sense of humor but I thought this was the funniest post on this thread so far. I was laughing all day! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now