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From my cousin -- not sure how true this is but if it is true, that is very scary folks!

 

It's also sad that it's hilarious. 

 

A co-workers wife is an admin. at a nursing home northeast from here. CDC goes in once a week to get patient info. From last week to this week, here was the conversation ...
CDC - How many covid patients do you have
ADMIN - We have 1 case isolated in the third wing
CDC - How many patients in that wing
ADMIN - 35
CDC - How many staff
ADMIN - 6 and they only work that wing
CDC - So thats 42 total covid cases
ADMIN - NOOO, we had ONE patient test positive
CDC - We have to ASSUME everyone on that wing is covid positive
ADMIN - We test and get tested EVERY WEEK, we have ONE positive
This weeks CDC follow up ...
CDC - How many covid patients do you have
ADMIN - Still just that ONE patient
CDC - So thats one ADDITIONAL CASE
ADMIN - NOOO, it is the same ONE from last week
CDC - So thats another ADDITIONAL 42 positive cases because this is a new week (*****!)
CDC then called the owner of the home & insisted the ADMIN was rude and incompetent & requested she was fired. The owner talked to ADMIN, called CDC back and they verified how they get (add) their weekly totals. The owner said .. This Is All A Lie and If You Continue To Inflate Our Numbers, We Won’t Test Anymore!  CDC said .. Anyone Not Complying With Us YOUR LICENSE WILL BE REVOKED AND YOU WILL BE SHUT DOWN!!!

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4 hours ago, Dennis#1 said:

Dr. Andrews (the one who adapted the lyrics and is "playing" the percussion in this piece) is my daughter's conducting professor and is in charge of vocal music at the University. My daughter loves working with and singing with her and some of the singers in this piece. So much fun!

 

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I finally  got up the courage to ask our Scottish tour guide what was he wearing under his kilt.

Take a peek, ma'am, he said

As soon as I lifted his kilt and caught a glimpse of "it", I screamed:

That's Gruesome!

Take another peek, ma'am, he said.

It gruesome more!

Edited by TMLAalum
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I found that I have been happier now that I have switched from drinking coffee in the morning to orange juice.

 

My doctor explained that it's the Vitamin C and natural sugars, but I really think it's the Vodka.

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Two Jehovah's Witnesses were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut. But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut. Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.
Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."

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