centurycruiser Posted August 8, 2020 #5976 Share Posted August 8, 2020 People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins, But take a look at me now. I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified. I told my doctor I felt a compulsion to continuously sing “Green Green Grass of Home” and he told me I had “Tom Jones Syndrome.” I asked if it was common and he said “It’s not unusual.” I have an Elton John pun. It's a little bit funny. Everyone at the John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined. Imagine...ALL the people 6 Link to post Share on other sites
grapau27 Posted August 8, 2020 #5977 Share Posted August 8, 2020 10 hours ago, CSHS1979 said: *A Golfing Story...* ⛳🏌♂ Alan who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Chris.⛳🏌♂ So they loaded up Alan's minivan and headed north. ⛳🏌♂ After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.⛳🏌♂ So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.⛳🏌♂ 'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'⛳🏌♂ 'Don't worry,' Alan said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'⛳🏌♂ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.⛳🏌♂ Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.⛳🏌♂ But about nine months later, Alan got an unexpected letter from an attorney.⛳🏌♂ It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.⛳🏌♂ He dropped in on his friend Chris and asked, "Chris, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago ?"⛳🏌♂ 'Yes, I do,' said Chris. ⛳🏌♂ 'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit ?'⛳🏌♂ 'Well, um, yes!,' Chris said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'⛳🏌♂ 'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name ?'⛳🏌♂ Chris's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask ?'⛳🏌♂ 'She just died and left me everything‼️💰🤭😳🤑😱 *And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you*⁉️😂🤣😁 I know you smiled 😊 Now spread that smile😂 Brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5978 Share Posted August 8, 2020 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5981 Share Posted August 8, 2020 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5985 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5986 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Not funny or humorous, but it sure is cute.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5987 Share Posted August 8, 2020 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5988 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5989 Share Posted August 8, 2020 22 hours ago, Lady Chew said: Progressive Insurance just as equal 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5991 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
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PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5993 Share Posted August 8, 2020 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5995 Share Posted August 8, 2020 For those that like it safe 😉 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PompeySailor Posted August 8, 2020 #5996 Share Posted August 8, 2020 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zonacruiser25 Posted August 8, 2020 #5997 Share Posted August 8, 2020 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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PompeySailor Posted August 9, 2020 #6000 Share Posted August 9, 2020 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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