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People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins, But take a look at me now.

 

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

 

I told my doctor I felt a compulsion to continuously sing “Green Green Grass of Home” and he told me I had “Tom Jones Syndrome.” I asked if it was common and he said “It’s not unusual.”

 

I have an Elton John pun. It's a little bit funny.

 

Everyone at the John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined.
Imagine...ALL the people

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10 hours ago, CSHS1979 said:

*A Golfing Story...*
 🏌‍♂

Alan who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Chris.
🏌‍♂
So they loaded up Alan's minivan and headed north. 
🏌‍♂
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
🏌‍♂
So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
🏌‍♂
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
🏌‍♂
'Don't worry,' Alan said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
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The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
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Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.
🏌‍♂
But about nine months later, Alan got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
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It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.
🏌‍♂
He dropped in on his friend Chris and asked, "Chris, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago ?"
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'Yes, I do,' said Chris.
 🏌‍♂
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit ?'
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'Well, um, yes!,' Chris said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
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'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name ?'
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Chris's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask ?'
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'She just died and left me everything‼️💰🤭😳🤑😱

*And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you*⁉️😂🤣😁
 
I know you smiled 😊

Now spread that smile😂

Brilliant.

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