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2 hours ago, CSHS1979 said:

Wisconsin......

 

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

Being from Wisconsin, we always heard the joke about how Oconomowoc got it's name. I can't remember the whole story but evidently two pioneers were searching for a place to start a new town when one turns to the other and says "Oconomowoc no more". (Sorry, I guess you have to hear the original to appreciate it).

 

 

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3 hours ago, 2chiefs said:

Being from Wisconsin, we always heard the joke about how Oconomowoc got it's name. I can't remember the whole story but evidently two pioneers were searching for a place to start a new town when one turns to the other and says "Oconomowoc no more". (Sorry, I guess you have to hear the original to appreciate it).

 

 

 

My husband grew up in a lead boom town. 

 

Some prospectors were down to their last mine and said Ore or no go.

 

His street was Oronogo 

Edited by CSHS1979
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In honor of prospectors

 

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.

AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.

THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

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22 hours ago, centurycruiser said:

I can think of one way to happily "subtract a beer." I don't understand the fuss.

I’m currently subtracting a Huck It huckleberry blonde ale from Big Sky Brewing Company (Missoula, MT). 
 

not difficult at all. 

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14 hours ago, 2chiefs said:

image.png.0a00a54ac3f81a0aef36fc3f64b56e07.png

Hello,

 

The top left is exactly what I remember. From the top of our office building I could see a storm moving in the distance and in true Tom and Jerry fashion the area before and after the storm pipe was perfectly clear.

 

Thanks for the effort.

 

Regards,

 

Cublet

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17 hours ago, CSHS1979 said:

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband:

"Have you ever seen twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No" said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said, becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:

"Go look in the garage."

You forgot to include a photo of the car in the garage all damaged and crumpled up. Otherwise it is hard to understand the joke.

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2 hours ago, Chloesimon said:

You forgot to include a photo of the car in the garage all damaged and crumpled up. Otherwise it is hard to understand the joke.

I got it immediately but a picture would have been great!!

Great joke!

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