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13 hours ago, John&LaLa said:

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would
like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the
black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked
his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the
blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs,
but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds
her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe;
the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you
spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the
blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue
suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a
deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly
after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I
asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit
instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

That was just mean!

you made me choke on my bagel! 

6D750DF3-B586-43F3-81BF-B2A3B03134EE.jpeg

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5 hours ago, cruise wizard said:

 

Didn't it feel great to drive into the station and say............give me two dollars worth and it almost filled the tank!!!!!

When I was a teenager, we would pool our money to come up with a dollar for gas. 
That left us a dollar to cruise through our favorite hangout and each get a Coke. 
we were on top of the world back then!

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19 minutes ago, cruise wizard said:

I just went to Publix for some "hurricane watch" supplies - the drive was a bit fun - it is WINDY and the surf is rolling - it is supposed to get worse this evening and lasting effects through Thursday.

I have a friend of a certain age who moved by herself to Key West a couple of years ago. Never lived outside of Missouri. Knowing her, she’s probably throwing her first hurricane party. 
Up here in Jax, we’re being told to expect a little wind and rough seas. 
I think our meteorologists just flip a coin to predict our weather. 

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Regarding gas prices (in the USA), I've got what is possibly an unpopular opinion:

 

Raise the Federal fuel tax by $0.001 per gallon. That 1/10 of one cent may have  meant something when gas was $0.199 per gallon, but at today's prices, it seems a bit silly. A 20 gallon fill-up would go up by 2 cents. That's about a buck a year for those who get gas once a week. We mostly live in a motor home, so we would pay considerably more, but not enough to notice. The offset in lighting up signs and pumps with one fewer digit would likely more than make up for the cost to the consumer, anyway. 

 

At 142,000,000,000 gallons of motor gasoline a year, plus 47,200,000,000 gallons of diesel, That's $1,892,000,000 dollars that could be spent on road infrastructure annually, with minimal impact on the consumer, and those using the roads more than those who use them less. 

 

And to stay on topic:

image.png.7d0f2f579b69721940fca5ff032c01f9.png

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6 minutes ago, MamaFej said:

Regarding gas prices (in the USA), I've got what is possibly an unpopular opinion:

 

Raise the Federal fuel tax by $0.001 per gallon. That 1/10 of one cent may have  meant something when gas was $0.199 per gallon, but at today's prices, it seems a bit silly. A 20 gallon fill-up would go up by 2 cents. That's about a buck a year for those who get gas once a week. We mostly live in a motor home, so we would pay considerably more, but not enough to notice. The offset in lighting up signs and pumps with one fewer digit would likely more than make up for the cost to the consumer, anyway. 

 

At 142,000,000,000 gallons of motor gasoline a year, plus 47,200,000,000 gallons of diesel, That's $1,892,000,000 dollars that could be spent on road infrastructure annually, with minimal impact on the consumer, and those using the roads more than those who use them less. 

 

And to stay on topic:

image.png.7d0f2f579b69721940fca5ff032c01f9.png

Not a bad idea but in Pennsylvania they would get the money and immediately move it to something else then complain they need more money for infrastructure.  It is a never ending cycle of taxes.   

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38 minutes ago, cruiserhal said:

Not a bad idea but in Pennsylvania they would get the money and immediately move it to something else then complain they need more money for infrastructure.  It is a never ending cycle of taxes.   

That's one of the reasons I said Federal tax. I would want it to be specifically earmarked for roads, bridges, tunnels. I absolutely understand your concern, however. PA is not alone in that. 

 

Since prices in every state end in 9/10 of a cent, raising it federally would make all prices end in a whole cent. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, MamaFej said:

That's one of the reasons I said Federal tax. I would want it to be specifically earmarked for roads, bridges, tunnels. I absolutely understand your concern, however. PA is not alone in that. 

 

Since prices in every state end in 9/10 of a cent, raising it federally would make all prices end in a whole cent. 

 

 

Sorry, I missed the Federal comment.  I completely agree with getting rid of the 9/10 of a cent.

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3 hours ago, jagsfan said:

When I was a teenager, we would pool our money to come up with a dollar for gas. 
That left us a dollar to cruise through our favorite hangout and each get a Coke. 
we were on top of the world back then!

The good old days when you could fill up at Taco Bell for fifty cents. 

image.png.2d7fa755fd62e0a263358dba098173fb.png

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Dating myself but does anyone remember 5 cent White Castle hamburgers?  Then they went up to 7 cents. As a kid we always liked to have them deliver to the car with their ‘hook over the car window’ trays because there was no seating inside the one by us. What memories we had as kids and so sad to think of the memories our grandkids will have. 😢

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2 hours ago, taglovestocruise said:

The good old days when you could fill up at Taco Bell for fifty cents. 

image.png.2d7fa755fd62e0a263358dba098173fb.png

Remember the Bellburger. 
I told my friend I didn’t like Mexican  food. Actually, because I had never had any!

She talked me into trying a Bellburger, after which I claimed to love Mexican food.
I had so much to learn! 

Edited by jagsfan
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15 minutes ago, lovemycruisetoo said:

Dating myself but does anyone remember 5 cent White Castle hamburgers?  Then they went up to 7 cents. As a kid we always liked to have them deliver to the car with their ‘hook over the car window’ trays because there was no seating inside the one by us. What memories we had as kids and so sad to think of the memories our grandkids will have. 😢

Steak and Shake here started tray service to cars, but I can’t talk my DH into trying it. I understand Sonic does it, and the Varsity in Atlanta still does. 
Best was A&W where my kids brought their little mugs back for free root beer. 

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In this amazing thread of humor, it seems appropriate to mark the passing of Norm Crosby, 1927-2020.

Although he was best known for malapropisms, here's a quote that's more in the vein of Will Rogers:

 

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. – Norm Crosby

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