To add some humour...

[centurycruiser]

[MrsTravelBug]

[MrsTravelBug]

[MrsTravelBug]

[MrsTravelBug]

[jagsfan]

7 hours ago, MrsTravelBug said:

When I go to WIFI on my Kindle, it lists available passwords of neighbors as well as ours. One of them is FBI Surveillance Van. I assumed one was someone  around us in our quiet condo complex.

I’m floored to see it on a meme!

[centurycruiser]

[sandebeach]

[sandebeach]

[sandebeach]

[sandebeach]

[cruiseguy1016]

6 hours ago, centurycruiser said:

 

I didn't know it.

[Mapleleafforever]

Who let this thread get to page 2???? Fixed

[sid_9169]

[reallyitsmema]

[centurycruiser]

I don't know if this is the plan for entire economy or just to restart cruising??

 

[Host Jazzbeau]

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

 (I sure hope so.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife

And Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works better than a fair trial

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

 

[reallyitsmema]

[reallyitsmema]

[snaefell]

1 hour ago, Host Jazzbeau said:

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

 (I sure hope so.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife

And Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works better than a fair trial

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

 

One quote made me think of an article in a newspaper some years ago,a local amusement park had new owners & they announced that they were to flatten some of the buildings for new development,one of the units being flattened housed a Clairvoyant who was quoted as saying: "I've been here 40 years,I didn't expect this to happen"😂

[la_croisiere_s'amuse]

[reallyitsmema]

[lovelife]

[JamesEM]

8 hours ago, snaefell said:

One quote made me think of an article in a newspaper some years ago,a local amusement park had new owners & they announced that they were to flatten some of the buildings for new development,one of the units being flattened housed a Clairvoyant who was quoted as saying: "I've been here 40 years,I didn't expect this to happen"😂

That is like the the Clairvoyant that had someone knock on the the door and she said "who is there.?

[centurycruiser]

10 hours ago, Host Jazzbeau said:

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

 (I sure hope so.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife

And Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works better than a fair trial

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

 

I have a step ladder. I didn't know my real ladder.