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33 minutes ago, jagsfan said:

So you’re a fan of the Oxford comma, too?

 

One of the few punctuation marks I use

 

Didn't notice it missing when I posted

20210411_122908.thumb.jpg.e9b585f269b165014169c27ab5982f57.jpg

Edited by John&LaLa
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Husband’s phone call to wife:

Sweetheart, do not want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the Office. Paula took me to the hospital. The doctors say that although I hit my head on the road, there should be no permanent damage. They did further tests and examinations as well as x-rays. I have a compound fracture of my left arm, my right leg is broken in two places and in addition to bruises and concussions I may need further surgery to repair the damage to my right foot.

 

Wife’s response:

Who is Paula?

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5 hours ago, cublet said:

Hello,

 

And how to split infinitives.

 

Regards,

 

Cublet

Capitalised A on And?

or

Starting a sentence with And (but would need a full stop (period) after Hello.

 

Your choice...

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19 hours ago, John&LaLa said:

 

One of the few punctuation marks I use

 

Didn't notice it missing when I posted

20210411_122908.thumb.jpg.e9b585f269b165014169c27ab5982f57.jpg

Comma is optional before "and" if I remember correctly so you both may be right....

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Tonight I went to our local American Legion. I was sitting at the bar next to a gentleman that was much older than I was, and we struck up a conversation. He went on to tell me about the wonderful dinner that he and his wife had had that evening at a fantastic restaurant. After he finished telling me about his experience I said I would like to go there as well. I asked him what the name of the restaurant was. He sat and pondered for a moment, and then he asked me, "What is the name of that flower that has thorns on the stem?" I replied, "Rose?"

He said, "Thank you." Then he turned to his left and said, "Rose, what was the name of that restaurant that we had dinner at?"

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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”

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After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one
  evening, when the misses felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he
  hadn't in quite some time.


  It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began
  moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders
  and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just
  over her lower stomach.


  He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past
  the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over
  her buttock and down her leg to her calf.


  Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost
  portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side,
  then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.


  As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving
  voice, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"


  I found the remote," he mumbled.

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My husband was reeling from my mood swings so he bought me a beautiful mood ring. When I was in a good mood, the ring turned green. When I was in a bad mood, it left a red mark on his forehead.

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