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A senior citizen         
said to his eighty-year old buddy:          
'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'          
'This woman, is she good looking?'          
'Not really.'          
'Is she a good cook?'          
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'          
'Does she have lots of money?'          
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'          
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'          
'I don't know.'          
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'          
'Because she can still drive!'  
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A man   was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.  
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art..

It's perfect.'          
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'          
'  Twelve thirty..'

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Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.          
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.          
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'          
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''          
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

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A little old man       shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.  
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.          
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'          
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis'          

 
 
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5 hours ago, alibaba1 said:
A senior citizen         
said to his eighty-year old buddy:          
'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'
'Do I know her?
'Nope!'          
'This woman, is she good looking?'          
'Not really.'          
'Is she a good cook?'          
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'          
'Does she have lots of money?'          
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'          
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'          
'I don't know.'          
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'          
'Because she can still drive!'  

One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, Bill bumped into an old friend of his, Rob, from high school. “You look great Bill, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be 60 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” Rob exclaimed. “I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied Bill. “That’s incredible” exclaimed Rob, “Does it run in the family? How old was your dad when he passed?” “Did I say he was dead?” asked Bill. “He’s 81 and is more active then ever. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team!” responded Bill. “Whoa! Well how old was your Grandfather when he died?” “Did I say he died” asked Bill. Rob was amazed. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! He’s actually getting married this week!” “Getting married?!” Rob asked. If he’s 105, why on earth does he want to get married?! Bill looked at Rob and replied, “Did I say he wanted to?”

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