Rare DamianG Posted August 1, 2020 Author #126 Share Posted August 1, 2020 Synopsis If we had actually sailed the above fantasy account is pretty much what we would have expected. Some of it is made up and other parts are simply recalling things that happened on our past cruises. It’s taken a bit of effort but I’ll enjoy looking back at it in the future and if we all get back cruising again it will remind us what our plans would have been (in particular that grand tour in Palma). I really hope that we do (get back cruising) as next year we have a fabulous cruise booked (B118) with three new ports for us (Villefranche, Alicante and Ibiza) and a final stop in Lisbon. It’s almost perfect (just missing Kyle’s favourite port Civitavecchia!). Thanks to everyone who has read this and in particular all those who commented. I’ve enjoyed reading all the comments but I think my favourite is Andrew’s “Pizza sans fromage? Sacré bleu mon ami!” as I imagined this was the cry from the chef at Kyle’s tomato pizza request. I have to say that I’m gutted that no-one commented on my subtle Chesney Hawkes joke (maybe you didn’t notice it or is it that you were all far too polite to tell me how corny it was?). I also thought that someone would have a go at the crossword clue “There’s no life in these boring cruise ships” (9 letters). The answer, by the way, is “Flatliners.” I’ll sign off with the (cast) closing credits just in case anyone wants to pay me some royalties and turn this into a movie. In no particular order: Captain Derek Gray (as Himself) Captain Neil Oliver (as Himself) Entertainment Manager Ben Fernandes (as Himself) Food & Beverage Manager Sachin Tendulkar MDR Waiter Virat Kohli MDR Waiter Sunil Gavaskar Butler Kapil Dev Cabin Steward Virender Sehwag MDR Sommelier Anil Kumble MDR Waiter Yuvraj Singh MDR Waiter Mahendra Singh Dhoni Epicurean Waiter Zaheer Khan Epicurean Waiter Mohammed Nissar MDR Manager Javagal Srinath Stealthy Caribbean Tier Lunch Sommelier Thanks again & bye for now. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Selbourne Posted August 1, 2020 #127 Share Posted August 1, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, DamianG said: Saturday 1st August 2020 Southampton I briefly woke in the early hours as Britannia docked in Southampton but for once I managed to get back to sleep. At 7:30am we got Kyle up and had an early breakfast in the Horizon for a change then went back to the cabin to gather our belongings. We managed to catch Kapil before we left and gave him a small tip in an envelope. We were out of the cabin before 8am as requested and we soon met the in-laws in the Atrium. We had an early disembarkation time slot and they had booked assistance so we were in the terminal by 8:30am. We found all our cases instantly (this is still fantasy remember) and after a steady stroll we had the car loaded and were on the road for 8:50am. The roads were kind to us so with just one stop we were home by 2pm. Welcome home Damian (I see that Yorkshire is a few hours ahead of the rest of the U.K. 😉). Thanks again for a very enjoyable diversion with your fantastic fantasy cruise blog, which was superbly written throughout. I see what you cleverly did with your last post - a tipping reference to prompt a new debate. Now that we don’t have your blog to look forward to, I can’t think of anything more stimulating than a tipping thread. Any takers? 😂 Edited August 1, 2020 by Selbourne 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britboys Posted August 1, 2020 #128 Share Posted August 1, 2020 Many thanks for all the entertainment you have provided me - it has been great fun to read. I must say that the Chesney Hawkes references went way over my head. Obviously I have heard of him but would struggle to name more than one of his songs 😄. Also good to see there is life after sport for veteran cricketers too! I hope you get to go on your booked cruise next year. Villefranche is a lovely little town in its own right but is also well-placed for an easy train ride into Nice too. I have very vivid memories of Villefranche when I visited on Oriana. The wind got up considerably early afternoon and our tender (plus all those following) were turned back to the tiny little harbour. The Harbour Master then ordered Oriana out of the bay as she was dragging her anchor. We eventually got back on board about 10pm! P&O were great and really looked after us though. I was due to call at Alicante and Ibiza on my cancelled Aurora cruise in October. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare DamianG Posted August 1, 2020 Author #129 Share Posted August 1, 2020 8 minutes ago, Selbourne said: Welcome home Damian (I see that Yorkshire is a few hours ahead of the rest of the U.K. 😉). Thanks again for a very enjoyable diversion with your fantastic fantasy cruise blog, which was superbly written throughout. I see what you cleverly did with your last post - a tipping reference to prompt a new debate. Now that we don’t have your blog to look forward to, I can’t think of anything more stimulating than a tipping thread. Any takers? 😂 Tipping thread? No thanks!!! I was just keeping it realistic and if we do hand out envelopes these days they usually contain a very modest amount so it's just a token gesture really. 😃 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dermotsgirl Posted August 1, 2020 #130 Share Posted August 1, 2020 6 minutes ago, Selbourne said: Welcome home Damian (I see that Yorkshire is a few hours ahead of the rest of the U.K. 😉). Thanks again for a very enjoyable diversion with your fantastic fantasy cruise blog, which was superbly written throughout. I see what you cleverly did with your last post - a tipping reference to prompt a new debate. Now that we don’t have your blog to look forward to, I can’t think of anything more stimulating than a tipping thread. Any takers? 😂 If not a tipping debate, we could have a dress code discussion 😂 I went on my last cruise in September last year, and I’m planning a ‘This time last year’ thread, and intend to post some photos from each day of the cruise, which hopefully will be of interest to some. I enjoyed Damian’s fantasy blog. I think he conveyed the best thing about cruising as we knew it - the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Hopefully, that freedom will return one day 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare DamianG Posted August 1, 2020 Author #131 Share Posted August 1, 2020 5 minutes ago, Britboys said: Many thanks for all the entertainment you have provided me - it has been great fun to read. I must say that the Chesney Hawkes references went way over my head. Obviously I have heard of him but would struggle to name more than one of his songs 😄. Also good to see there is life after sport for veteran cricketers too! I hope you get to go on your booked cruise next year. Villefranche is a lovely little town in its own right but is also well-placed for an easy train ride into Nice too. I have very vivid memories of Villefranche when I visited on Oriana. The wind got up considerably early afternoon and our tender (plus all those following) were turned back to the tiny little harbour. The Harbour Master then ordered Oriana out of the bay as she was dragging her anchor. We eventually got back on board about 10pm! P&O were great and really looked after us though. I was due to call at Alicante and Ibiza on my cancelled Aurora cruise in October. Thanks Andrew, not sure if we'll stick around in Villefranche or take the train to Nice (which we've done before). We're lucky enough to have been all over Spain via cruises and a 2 week coach tour so to have 2 (new to us) Spanish ports is a real bonus. 🤞 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Eddie99 Posted August 1, 2020 #132 Share Posted August 1, 2020 That was lovely! Anyone fancy documenting The Cruise From Hell? I can think of some ideas but don’t have the skill to weave a good story or the perseverance to keep it up? Imagine - cabin problems - lazy steward - moaning table companions - high seas - early hours helivac/alarm through ship - tenders from hell - missed port(s) - off key Headliners - drugs search - IT problems with re-embarkation at ports - low/exhausted bar stocks etc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare DamianG Posted August 1, 2020 Author #133 Share Posted August 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Dermotsgirl said: If not a tipping debate, we could have a dress code discussion 😂 I went on my last cruise in September last year, and I’m planning a ‘This time last year’ thread, and intend to post some photos from each day of the cruise, which hopefully will be of interest to some. I enjoyed Damian’s fantasy blog. I think he conveyed the best thing about cruising as we knew it - the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Hopefully, that freedom will return one day "This Time Last Year" sounds like a great idea, especially if there are photos! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Selbourne Posted August 1, 2020 #134 Share Posted August 1, 2020 3 minutes ago, Eddie99 said: That was lovely! Anyone fancy documenting The Cruise From Hell? I can think of some ideas but don’t have the skill to weave a good story or the perseverance to keep it up? Imagine - cabin problems - lazy steward - moaning table companions - high seas - early hours helivac/alarm through ship - tenders from hell - missed port(s) - off key Headliners - drugs search - IT problems with re-embarkation at ports - low/exhausted bar stocks etc We have experienced all of those things, and more, so if I wrote it then it wouldn’t be a fantasy blog - other than the fact that they didn’t all occur on the same cruise! I’m tempted but I’m not sure that I have the time or inclination either 😂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dermotsgirl Posted August 1, 2020 #135 Share Posted August 1, 2020 10 minutes ago, DamianG said: "This Time Last Year" sounds like a great idea, especially if there are photos! If I remember correctly, I think we sailed on 2nd September, so make a note in your diary😂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare DamianG Posted August 1, 2020 Author #136 Share Posted August 1, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, Eddie99 said: That was lovely! Anyone fancy documenting The Cruise From Hell? I can think of some ideas but don’t have the skill to weave a good story or the perseverance to keep it up? Imagine - cabin problems - lazy steward - moaning table companions - high seas - early hours helivac/alarm through ship - tenders from hell - missed port(s) - off key Headliners - drugs search - IT problems with re-embarkation at ports - low/exhausted bar stocks etc Thanks Eddie! "The Cruise From Hell" is another great idea: Off the top of my head... Imagine - cabin problems creaking cabin on Aurora, fixed with engineer spraying WD40 on the joins - lazy steward son (when very young) wet the bed, steward sighed, rolled his eyes, tutted...happened again a few days later so we washed the bedding ourselves - moaning table companions had the misfortune to share a table with an ex-miner from Yorkshire with the biggest chip on his shoulder ever. He called all the staff "lazy" and said they'd never done a proper day's work in their life. He was so downright rude we just stopped talking so that we could eat faster and get away from his non-stop diatribe. I daren't tell him that I worked for a bank and we couldn't get out of there quick enough. - high seas 10 metre swells sailing home on Oriana after New Year's day 2012. I've not been sea sick since (touch wood) - early hours helivac/alarm through ship Ventura last year, air evac 2am 1st evening, medical emergency 4am 2nd evening - tenders from hell Ventura / La Spezia 2010 - missed port(s) Plenty...I'll choose Oriana 2011 where we missed Cadiz and Valletta - off key Headliners Can't think of a specific show but do think some of them sing (shout) too loud - drugs search Pass on that one!!! - IT problems with re-embarkation at ports Not P&O but once got stuck in Puerto Rico where they had no arrangements for already registered passengers wanting to get back onboard so we had to queue with hundreds who were embarking for the 1st time. - low/exhausted bar stocks Pass on that one too! Edited August 1, 2020 by DamianG 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
po go Posted August 1, 2020 #137 Share Posted August 1, 2020 THE ONE and only chesney hawkes and your all time indian cricket team as serving staff , as a fantasy you could have captain sunill and kapil for entertainment and geoff (boycott) as butler and fred (trueman ) as waiter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britboys Posted August 1, 2020 #138 Share Posted August 1, 2020 14 minutes ago, po go said: THE ONE and only chesney hawkes and your all time indian cricket team as serving staff , as a fantasy you could have captain sunill and kapil for entertainment and geoff (boycott) as butler and fred (trueman ) as waiter Boycott & Trueman as Butler and Waiter 😱. Definitely cruise from hell as opposed to fantasy cruise 😂. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare SarahHben Posted August 1, 2020 #139 Share Posted August 1, 2020 2 hours ago, Dermotsgirl said: If not a tipping debate, we could have a dress code discussion 😂 I went on my last cruise in September last year, and I’m planning a ‘This time last year’ thread, and intend to post some photos from each day of the cruise, which hopefully will be of interest to some. I enjoyed Damian’s fantasy blog. I think he conveyed the best thing about cruising as we knew it - the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Hopefully, that freedom will return one day 'This time last year' sounds like a good idea, I shall look forward to seeing the photos 🙂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare SarahHben Posted August 1, 2020 #140 Share Posted August 1, 2020 3 hours ago, DamianG said: Synopsis If we had actually sailed the above fantasy account is pretty much what we would have expected. Some of it is made up and other parts are simply recalling things that happened on our past cruises. It’s taken a bit of effort but I’ll enjoy looking back at it in the future and if we all get back cruising again it will remind us what our plans would have been (in particular that grand tour in Palma). I really hope that we do (get back cruising) as next year we have a fabulous cruise booked (B118) with three new ports for us (Villefranche, Alicante and Ibiza) and a final stop in Lisbon. It’s almost perfect (just missing Kyle’s favourite port Civitavecchia!). Thanks to everyone who has read this and in particular all those who commented. I’ve enjoyed reading all the comments but I think my favourite is Andrew’s “Pizza sans fromage? Sacré bleu mon ami!” as I imagined this was the cry from the chef at Kyle’s tomato pizza request. I have to say that I’m gutted that no-one commented on my subtle Chesney Hawkes joke (maybe you didn’t notice it or is it that you were all far too polite to tell me how corny it was?). I also thought that someone would have a go at the crossword clue “There’s no life in these boring cruise ships” (9 letters). The answer, by the way, is “Flatliners.” I’ll sign off with the (cast) closing credits just in case anyone wants to pay me some royalties and turn this into a movie. In no particular order: Captain Derek Gray (as Himself) Captain Neil Oliver (as Himself) Entertainment Manager Ben Fernandes (as Himself) Food & Beverage Manager Sachin Tendulkar MDR Waiter Virat Kohli MDR Waiter Sunil Gavaskar Butler Kapil Dev Cabin Steward Virender Sehwag MDR Sommelier Anil Kumble MDR Waiter Yuvraj Singh MDR Waiter Mahendra Singh Dhoni Epicurean Waiter Zaheer Khan Epicurean Waiter Mohammed Nissar MDR Manager Javagal Srinath Stealthy Caribbean Tier Lunch Sommelier Thanks again & bye for now. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your fantasy cruise blog Damian. Thank you for all your time & effort! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyMichelle Posted August 1, 2020 #141 Share Posted August 1, 2020 It's been a great read Damian, very entertaining and it was nice to (virtually) meet Michelle and Kyle. Thank you for taking the time and effort. Andy 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 1, 2020 #142 Share Posted August 1, 2020 9 hours ago, DamianG said: Tipping thread? No thanks!!! I was just keeping it realistic and if we do hand out envelopes these days they usually contain a very modest amount so it's just a token gesture really. 😃 I really enjoyed reading your fantasy cruise. Excellent photos and written like a professional. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 1, 2020 #143 Share Posted August 1, 2020 6 hours ago, AndyMichelle said: It's been a great read Damian, very entertaining and it was nice to (virtually) meet Michelle and Kyle. Thank you for taking the time and effort. Andy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaJane Posted August 1, 2020 #144 Share Posted August 1, 2020 I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your fantasy blog Damian. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it - really brings back so many memories of cruising 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare DamianG Posted August 2, 2020 Author #145 Share Posted August 2, 2020 12 hours ago, grapau27 said: I really enjoyed reading your fantasy cruise. Excellent photos and written like a professional. Kind words, thanks Graham. I'm enjoying your Northern Britain tour photos too! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 2, 2020 #146 Share Posted August 2, 2020 50 minutes ago, DamianG said: Kind words, thanks Graham. I'm enjoying your Northern Britain tour photos too! Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now