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Fake, Made Up and Completely Impossible Virtual Cruise Trip Report

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I have a fever but it isn't from COVID-19.  I have cruise fever and an itch I can't scratch.   

So why not join me for a wild and impossible cruise itinerary involving teleporting between cabins, ships and continents? 


The Captains have gone crazy and with the newly installed warp drives I'll be having dinner in the Northern hemisphere and eating breakfast in the Southern hemisphere.   From the Oasis Lagoon at CocoCay to an Alaskan glacier the next day.  From the zip line at Labadee through the Panama Canal down under to the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the blink of an eye, this is going to be a wild ride.  


Cruise Itinerary:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.
Cruise Length:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.
Leaving from:  Haven't decided yet, we'll see how this plays out.
With a special waiver from the CDC (Cruise Denying Consulate) no ships or crew will be harmed or exposed in the making up of this fake cruise.   


Sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride.  🙂


Time to spin the hand sanitizer bottle and see where to begin this journey...

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Since it's August as I write this I've decided to start this cruise in Alaska.  I'll be flying to Anchorage and taking the train to Seward.  


Fortunately the flights are near empty and I scored an upgrade to Presidential Class.




The Cruise Denying Consulate (CDC) initially denied the plan I submitted but after the 443rd revision they not only approved my plan but they were so impressed with my protocols they offered to fly me to Anchorage and they came to the airport to see me off:




Apparently the plane was available briefly between jaunts to the golf course so I jumped at the chance to fly this beauty.

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It was a great day for flying and while my airplane cabin had windows on both sides the best views were on the right side of plane as we approached Anchorage.






It's so nice flying private without the hassle of the TSA or waiting for luggage.  I'll have to book this class more often from now on.

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Smooth flight, meal service was typical airline food so, meh.  The plane had really fast WiFi though so that was nice.   


I jumped in an Uber to the train terminal and boarded the train from Anchorage to Seward.










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Alaska is beautiful just in case you didn't know.












Social distancing from the people in the other train...


"Can I have your number?"  Drat.  I don't think she heard me.






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The Captain was so impressed with me that he said I could skip muster.  Not!




Ugh.  No one is wearing a mask.  The Cruise Denying Consulate is not going to be impressed.  Look CDC... a pretty rainbow!

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A new fake feature is the Royal Transporter.  I dropped by just in time to see some new guests arriving from another ship.



📷 :CBS/Paramount



For $79.95* (plus 18% gratuity) you can be transported to another ship.  For a discounted rate of $39.95* (plus 18% gratuity) they will transport you to a random ship they choose.  Finally a heavily discounted rate is offered at $19.95* (plus 18% gratuity) but it will transport you to a different cruise line.  This is a one way trip as the Royal Transporter is only available on Royal Caribbean ships.   


* Crown And Anchor Society discounts apply.  Gold 10% off.  Platinum 15% off.  Emerald 20% off.  Diamond and Diamond Plus 30% off.  Pinnacle who have been cranky get a free transport to another ship, otherwise Pinnacle get a 50% discount.


I packed my bags and used some of my OBC for the $39.95 transport.  I'm not sure where I'll be on day two, but at least I'll be on a Royal Caribbean ship.  

Edited by twangster
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Following along on your Virtual Cruise, twangster!  I've been enjoying your first day of travel, and look forward to accompanying you for the remainder of your trip.  I knew it would be outstanding, especially due to your posts on your many previous trips, always accompanied by your stunning pictures.  I will sit back and enjoy!  You've had me smiling since you began this trip!!  Thank you!!!!!!🙂



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4 hours ago, JBSteelerfan said:

I can't find the transporter option in my cruise planner!!  What to do??


I think it's only an option for those that purchase "The Key"

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