Funeral ceremony

[Chiliburn]

I have heard Royal Caribbean will sometimes do a ceremony and allow the ashes to be spread.

Is this true and has anyone had experience?

We will have 3-4 full suites.

[RobInMN]

Sorry for your loss.

I think this thread from 2 months ago has exactly what you are looking for.

 

 

[ReneeFLL]

Sorry for your loss.

https://www.royalcaribbean.com/faq/questions/what-is-royal-caribbeans-burial-at-sea-policy

Edited July 17, 2021 by ReneeFLL

[Husky1987]

My mom, brother, and I did this with our Dad's ashes on Explorer during an Alaska cruise in 2018.  The Royal folks were extremely considerate the entire time.  They took us down through some employee-only areas and onto one of the platforms near the aft.  No official "ceremony", but they allowed us to be there for as long as we needed and later on during the cruise we received a certificate from the captain with the coordinates where we dropped the ashes.

 

Sorry for your loss.

 

 

[Ashland]

1 hour ago, Chiliburn said:

I have heard Royal Caribbean will sometimes do a ceremony and allow the ashes to be spread.

Is this true and has anyone had experience?

We will have 3-4 full suites.

The info you have been given is correct...however it makes no difference with the category of cabins you have booked...RCI is very helpful in this regard.

[Chiliburn]

It doesn’t sound like our plans would work.

We wanted to do a ceremony while anchored off a coastal town in North Queensland . By the sounds of it has to be at sea in international waters.

 

The last of my parents just died. They moved from Port Douglas to Sydney and always said they wanted to go back to Port Douglas.

We will probably just take the tender and take there ashes into town and do something there.

 

[Ashland]

4 hours ago, Chiliburn said:

It doesn’t sound like our plans would work.

We wanted to do a ceremony while anchored off a coastal town in North Queensland . By the sounds of it has to be at sea in international waters.

 

The last of my parents just died. They moved from Port Douglas to Sydney and always said they wanted to go back to Port Douglas.

We will probably just take the tender and take there ashes into town and do something there.

 

Sorry this hasn't worked out exactly like you would have preferred but I'm sure whatever plan B you decide on will provide the closure and memory you all need. Condolences to you all.

[Chiliburn]

27 minutes ago, Ashland said:

Sorry this hasn't worked out exactly like you would have preferred but I'm sure whatever plan B you decide on will provide the closure and memory you all need. Condolences to you all.

Thanks for all of your condolences but we all die ,it’s part of life.

 

We are more interested in taking our parents back to Port Douglas.
 

 

 

 

[Ashland]

6 minutes ago, Chiliburn said:

Thanks for all of your condolences but we all die ,it’s part of life.

 

We are more interested in taking our parents back to Port Douglas.
 

 

 

 

Yes...we all do die....no alternative right now.

[chengkp75]

9 hours ago, Chiliburn said:

It doesn’t sound like our plans would work.

We wanted to do a ceremony while anchored off a coastal town in North Queensland . By the sounds of it has to be at sea in international waters.

 

The last of my parents just died. They moved from Port Douglas to Sydney and always said they wanted to go back to Port Douglas.

We will probably just take the tender and take there ashes into town and do something there.

 

It really depends on the country involved, and the ship owner.  From what I see here:

https://www.environment.gov.au/marine/marine-pollution/sea-dumping/burial-sea

 

there are very few, if not no, restrictions on scattering ashes at sea in Australia.  You may want to contact the government for verification.  It would then depend on the RCI to decide if they wanted to allow a ceremony at anchor (and having verification from the government would help in this regard).  They would still most likely require a bio-degradable urn, and not a scattering.  Again, depending on local environmental regulations, they may provide a bio-degradable (no wire or plastic) wreath as well.

[death_star]

Perhaps you can contact a local boat to take your group out once you've arrived there. 

[brillohead]

As @chengkp75 said, scattering wouldn't be allowed -- you have to use a little biodegradable urn.

If I were in your shoes, I'd take the ashes ashore myself and find a beach (or private boat excursion/rental) and do it privately. I did something similar with my FIL, who requested his ashes be put in a river near his home.  No fancy ceremony, just some family members and the "bucket of sugar" (as my preschooler called it) getting poured into the water. 

My "surrogate mom" has already made arrangements for me to take part of her ashes on a cruise after her death.  She can't cruise due to several health issues, so she figures this is her way of finally experiencing a cruise with me.  

One word of caution -- be very aware of the wind direction.  VERY aware.

[A&L_Ont]

4 minutes ago, brillohead said:

One word of caution -- be very aware of the wind direction.  VERY aware.

I too have read that as well. 

[brillohead]

2 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

I too have read that as well. 

 

We were on a bridge over the river with my FIL's ashes.... we learned quickly!

Edited July 17, 2021 by brillohead
typo

[A&L_Ont]

13 minutes ago, brillohead said:

 

We were on a bridge over the river with my FIL's ashes.... we learned quickly!

Unfortunately it is a lesson learned once, never to happen again. However, it is a great piece of advice to share with others. 
 

May I ask a question?  Did the act of spreading them give you a feeling of release?  I have never spread any ashes but I feel as though it might give that emotional sense. Returning a loved to a place that brought/found them comfort, seems comforting to me as well. 

[brillohead]

13 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

Unfortunately it is a lesson learned once, never to happen again. However, it is a great piece of advice to share with others. 
 

May I ask a question?  Did the act of spreading them give you a feeling of release?  I have never spread any ashes but I feel as though it might give that emotional sense. Returning a loved to a place that brought/found them comfort, seems comforting to me as well. 

Yes, in part because I knew it was what he wanted. But then his death was also a blessing, as it put an end to his suffering and he also made that choice (to stop treatment), so I knew he was at peace with it as well.  Even though I was "only" the daughter-in-law, I was his legal guardian, and I was with him as he made these decisions.  

He was not a religious person, but rather believed in "the circle of life" and returning him to the earth was the completion of his circle.  

 

[A&L_Ont]

13 minutes ago, brillohead said:

Yes, in part because I knew it was what he wanted. But then his death was also a blessing, as it put an end to his suffering and he also made that choice (to stop treatment), so I knew he was at peace with it as well.  Even though I was "only" the daughter-in-law, I was his legal guardian, and I was with him as he made these decisions.  

 

We felt very much the same way when my father and our daughter passed away. Both fought a hard fight, but in the end we’re in a better place and no longer suffering.

 

13 minutes ago, brillohead said:

He was not a religious person, but rather believed in "the circle of life" and returning him to the earth was the completion of his circle.  

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He returned back to earth. Very appropriate for your father in-law, who’s beliefs are similar to mine. Thank-you for sharing.

[brillohead]

37 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

We felt very much the same way when my father and our daughter passed away. Both fought a hard fight, but in the end we’re in a better place and no longer suffering.

 

My condolences on the loss of your daughter.  Even though it ended her suffering, parents shouldn't outlive their children.  I can't even imagine.  

37 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He returned back to earth. Very appropriate for your father in-law, who’s beliefs are similar to mine. Thank-you for sharing.

 

Happy to share my experience.  I'm a nurse, and I've seen a huge shift in the way society views death anymore.  It used to be more accepted that "old people die" as part of the natural order of things, but now the vast majority seem to think that life should be preserved at all costs, with no regard to the quality of that life. 

I see people who are "forced" to live a life of horror rather than being allowed the dignity of death, and it's heartbreaking to see.  Sometimes it's because the family is just afraid of "losing Mama" (even though their mother's dementia is so severe she doesn't even know who they are, and she spends her days fingerpainting with her excrement), and sometimes it's because if Mama dies, they'd lose their free room and board in her house, plus the money the government pays them to "take care" of Mama in her home.  (I had to put "take care" in quotes, because if they were really taking care of Mama, she wouldn't be hospitalized with a UTI and smelling like she hasn't been bathed in over a month.) 

<Side Rant>

It infuriates me that the government will pay a family member WHO LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE to be a "paid chore provider" for a disabled relative.  The government doesn't pay me to shop for my own groceries or vacuum my own floors or cook my own meals or scrub my own toilet, and I don't live rent-free, either!  I can kinda understand getting paid if you live separately and have to make a special trip to go provide these services for someone else (although I do think family should just do it for the sake of helping a loved one, not for the money)... but to get paid to do the chores in your own home?  *****??? 

</Side Rant>

[Ourusualbeach]

2 hours ago, A&L_Ont said:

Unfortunately it is a lesson learned once, never to happen again. However, it is a great piece of advice to share with others. 

Kind of like peeing in the wind

[keyboardjunkie]

Regarding ashes being spread from a Royal ship.  I have done this twice thus far.  Here is what I can share:

 

1.  You must contact Royal and advise them of your intent.  I thought it funny that the request was handled by someone in the RCCL Emergency Contact department but I have a weird sense of humor (apparently someone at Royal does also).  You will need both a cremation certificate and a death certificate.  Contact: gfotravelservices@rccl.com  

2.  Once on the ship, you must notify guest services that this will be occurring.  They will not give you a specific day or time because the captain has to advise them when they are far enough out at sea and the direction the winds are blowing.  We received notice from Guest Services the morning of the burial with the time.

2.  The ashes MUST be in a biodegradable container and that must be certified by a 'legal' funeral director.  Our funeral director had placed the ashes in a lovely decorated box with cornstarch wrapper on the outside.  Very nice......However, when we were on the ship they asked us to open the box to confirm that there was nothing inside that was not biodegradable.  I think that was the hardest part of the entire process.  I will say that this 'activity' was done in privacy in a back office of guest relations with the GSM present.

3.  On one occasion, we were on the Allure for the burial.  What they did was bring us to the back of the ship on the jogging track level.  Two security officers stood on each side of the ship and blocked people from access to the area.  A guest services team member stood behind us at advised that we could take as long as we needed.  The entire box went into the sea (no lose ashes may be scattered).

 

It was all very dignified and peaceful. 

[Ashland]

45 minutes ago, Ourusualbeach said:

Kind of like peeing in the wind

Only if you stand up.

[pegwalker55]

I “buried”my mother and stepfather at see

Our funeral director got us the necessary paperwork and urns

The ceremony was at sunset 

One of the ship’s officers and security accompanied us and radioed the bridge for the coordinates 

The officer said a few words 

We received a certificate with the coordinates and date

Simple and dignified

[Chiliburn]

Thanks all.

All we need now is a funeral home . Half of Australia is in lockdown and only vital services are available.

 Pandemics ,I don’t think I will go to the next one.

[rosiehee]

It's definitely a challenging time with lockdowns affecting so many aspects of life, including arranging funeral services. In such circumstances, it's important to stay patient and flexible.

[rosiehee]

On 11/13/2023 at 5:01 PM, rosiehee said:

It's definitely a challenging time with lockdowns affecting so many aspects of life, including arranging funeral services. In such circumstances, it's important to stay patient and flexible.

And when considering funeral options, you might find water-based cremation to be a unique and eco-conscious choice that aligns with sustainability, should it be available in your area.