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Breakup on ship


Ms02
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So I'm currently in the wonderful situation where I've found out my sorta boyfriend/cruise date and one of the people i trust the most has been seriously seeing someone else and not told me about it, so I'm trying to figure out what to do the last two days of this trip. I am heart broken, but i want to try and enjoy. Also he doesn't at the moment know that i know, I'm curious if he's planning on telling me. So any tips of how to keep myself busy on the ship away from him? I'm a bit tempted to ask guest relations if there is any chance of getting another room for the last two nights, but i have a feeling it's no point and that this situation is not their problem (which of course it isn't). Anyway i can't think clearly right now...

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6 minutes ago, Ms02 said:

So I'm currently in the wonderful situation where I've found out my sorta boyfriend/cruise date and one of the people i trust the most has been seriously seeing someone else and not told me about it, so I'm trying to figure out what to do the last two days of this trip. I am heart broken, but i want to try and enjoy. Also he doesn't at the moment know that i know, I'm curious if he's planning on telling me. So any tips of how to keep myself busy on the ship away from him? I'm a bit tempted to ask guest relations if there is any chance of getting another room for the last two nights, but i have a feeling it's no point and that this situation is not their problem (which of course it isn't). Anyway i can't think clearly right now...

This will not be the first or last situation and ships have the solutions. Ask for a private meeting with the Manager of GS in their office, they will fully support you

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Just now, PORT ROYAL said:

This will not be the first or last situation and ships have the solutions. Ask for a private meeting with the Manager of GS in their office, they will fully support you

Oh really? Thank you I'll consider that. Let's see how the next few hours go 

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12 minutes ago, Ms02 said:

sorta boyfriend/cruise date

Eh.... This doesn't sound very concrete which sounds like the reason he felt he had wiggle room (obviously it's wrong but people justify pretty much anything when they want something).  Why blow things up?  Your stuff is already in the room, you probably are traveling back with him, yeah?

 

What I would do is say that I know about it, I thought things were different and would've appreciated a heads-up but it's alright and we'll just be friends from here on out and then enjoy the rest of the cruise.

 

 

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8 minutes ago, ProblemCruiser said:

Eh.... This doesn't sound very concrete which sounds like the reason he felt he had wiggle room (obviously it's wrong but people justify pretty much anything when they want something).  Why blow things up?  Your stuff is already in the room, you probably are traveling back with him, yeah?

 

What I would do is say that I know about it, I thought things were different and would've appreciated a heads-up but it's alright and we'll just be friends from here on out and then enjoy the rest of the cruise.

 

 

Even though our situation is not completely defined, certain parameters are, and he definitely has completely broken my trust and heart (he knew very well my feelings).

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14 minutes ago, ProblemCruiser said:

Eh.... This doesn't sound very concrete which sounds like the reason he felt he had wiggle room (obviously it's wrong but people justify pretty much anything when they want something).  Why blow things up?  Your stuff is already in the room, you probably are traveling back with him, yeah?

 

What I would do is say that I know about it, I thought things were different and would've appreciated a heads-up but it's alright and we'll just be friends from here on out and then enjoy the rest of the cruise.

 

 

 

 

Sound like he just wanted the cruise.   But you did describe him as just "sorta boyfriend/cruise date" .. so  .. .

Edited by F27TW
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I sympathize with you, but to put it in perspective: my daughter broke up with her live-in boyfriend in January. The problem was that they were both on the lease and she could not afford to either break the lease or pay the full amount of the rent so she was stuck until the end of the lease--in September.

Just try to get through the next two days!

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14 minutes ago, Ms02 said:

Even though our situation is not completely defined, certain parameters are, and he definitely has completely broken my trust and heart (he knew very well my feelings).

Sorry it happened this way.  Ultimately you're in a situation that looks like it has two options:

 

1.  Don't tell him until after it's over.  (advantage = non-confrontation) (disadvantage = you have to think about it for 2 days).

2.  Tell him now and resolve it one way or another.  Personally I would just be honest and let it go.  There's no real advantage to the alternative which is not letting it go and holding on to resentment which is just basically self-poisoning.

 

On the + side, better you found out now rather than later.

Edited by ProblemCruiser
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Well, I know someone who thought she was with her life partner for 16 years, but he thought he was with a friend for 16 years....and then he met someone else. 

 

With that being said, is the source of your information 100% reliable?  I'd wait until you finish the cruise to bring it up. 

 

You still have 2 days to "enjoy"...and I assume they are sea days.  Do somethng that doesn't include him.  You can always meet new people to chit chat with at certain venues (buffet, bar, casino).  Just look for people who are sitting alone.

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Been there and understand completely, mine was a husband of 28 years.  I kept myself busy with shore excursions and activities on the ship.  I was beyond heartbroken but was going to try and enjoy Alaska anyway.  It was very awkward at night but I just went to sleep and ignored him.  I was able to change my seat on the flight home.  After being divorced now for 12 years I look back and still enjoyed my cruise in Alaska and the good memories I made myself.  

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4 minutes ago, TSUmom said:

Been there and understand completely, mine was a husband of 28 years.  I kept myself busy with shore excursions and activities on the ship.  I was beyond heartbroken but was going to try and enjoy Alaska anyway.  It was very awkward at night but I just went to sleep and ignored him.  I was able to change my seat on the flight home.  After being divorced now for 12 years I look back and still enjoyed my cruise in Alaska and the good memories I made myself.  

Wow, that's crazy. Glad this is at least a bit easier than your situation, but glad you enjoyed your cruise anyway. I've had a really nice cruise this far and I'll do my best to keep enjoying. 

Still haven't decided which of the possibilities @ProblemCruiser suggested I'm gonna go for, but i think he's already noticed that something is weird even though I'm a good actress.

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1 hour ago, Ms02 said:

So I'm currently in the wonderful situation where I've found out my sorta boyfriend/cruise date and one of the people i trust the most has been seriously seeing someone else and not told me about it, so I'm trying to figure out what to do the last two days of this trip. I am heart broken, but i want to try and enjoy. Also he doesn't at the moment know that i know, I'm curious if he's planning on telling me. So any tips of how to keep myself busy on the ship away from him? I'm a bit tempted to ask guest relations if there is any chance of getting another room for the last two nights, but i have a feeling it's no point and that this situation is not their problem (which of course it isn't). Anyway i can't think clearly right now...

If he cheated on you why don't you tell Him to find another cabin. 

 

Long story short, when my wife and I were on the BA I did a video tour of the Thermal Spa. I had talked to the manager and she said I was more than welcome to. She said I should arrive about 6am, that way their won't be anyone in there. So I did, the door was unlocked and I went in. Walking down the hall I ran into another guy. He had been sleeping in the mens locker room for the past 3 nights. He and his GF broke up a few days into the cruise. I didn't ask how he managed not to get caught. I guess since they don't have cameras in the locker rooms nobody saw him

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Oh, I may sound negative but:

A "sorta boyfriend/cruise date" is not a committed relationship.....sounds more like a friend with benefits.

 

Originally I said don't tell him and do your own thing.  But I see the majority disagree with me.

 

Maybe have a discussion about "what your relationship exactly is".

 

You didn't tell us the source of your information.  Is it possible that person is misinformed?

Instead of being in  limbo....ask him to define your relationship and if necessary, defend himself.

 

Since he's a "sorta boyfriend" I wouldn't be surprised if he's had many other "relationships".

 

Again...you and he need to define your relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The question that matters is: who’s credit card is on the onboard account? :classic_ohmy:

 

on topic; it must be awkward and raise suspicion if you “suddenly” part ways the last days and traveling home. Any obvious move will probably start trouble..  As others said: confront and settle? Good luck!

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If it's at all possible to get away from him into your own separate room, that might be best to help clear your head and give you some space and perspective.  I'm personally a big fan of "pulling the bandaid off fast" and clearing the air so you can get started on healing.  Keeping it to yourself for 2 days sounds toxic, but different strokes for different folks.  Being honest and bringing it into the sunlight sounds like the best recipe for having a good last couple of days and moving on... at least it would for me.

 

Best of luck with however you choose to handle it... an awful situation to be in.

 

PS  And hopefully you can change your seat on the flight home.

Edited by lgdesign
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Two separate issues, and there's very little you (or the cruise line) can do about it.

 

First, your relationship, or lack thereof.  Cruise lines would rather not get involved with any of that.  Personally, I wouldn't even go into any detail with any cruise line personnel about it.  You're in close quarters and I think your situation may alert them that there could be a "domestic situation" on. board that would give cause for security to follow you both, either together or apart.

 

Probably the best you could hope forms to ask the cabin steward to separate your cabin bed into two twins, apart from each other.  The cruise line may be able to put you in another cabin, but that means you have to get them involved in your dispute, again, something they don't want to do.

 

As far as confronting your kinda/sorta boyfriend, that's up to you.  Is that a conversation you want to have on a cruise ship?  Sounds like there's been a serious disconnect in communication to begin with if you describe him as your "sorta boyfriend".  He may indeed have a different view of your relationship.

 

I think any conversation surrounding those miscommunications would be better dealt with when you return.  Otherwise, either you and/or he  is going to be in a place you can not get away from each other in a limited environment.  Further, if you feel either he, or you, would cause as scene at this "confrontation", it's best to not have that on board the ship.

 

I don't have any sort of relationship advice for you, other than it sounds like the two of you probably view the alleged relationship very differently.  Best to hash that out once you get home, though.

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I would just tough it out at this point. There is only two more days left and it is just going to make things harder if you bring it up. Keep yourself busy with activities. Go for a run on the track, book a spa treatment, go to the cheesy art show, just come up with activities that he is not interested in attending. Mention that you are tired/have a headache and just go to bed early. Deal with this when you get home. As others have mentioned, you should have defined your relationship  before embarking on a trip together.  You don't have all the facts at this point and just try to enjoy yourself and deal with this later. 

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All very good points... it all depends on the personalities and maturity levels of the parties involved. 

 

Please keep us posted as to what you decide and hope you're able to enjoy the rest of your cruise.

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I'm a guy so maybe you shouldn't follow my advice because we're kinda stupid with this. 

 

You're hurt and upset.   However,  "kinda" boyfriend probably means he doesn't think he did anything wrong.  I'm not defending him but pointing out the reality.  Confronting him, even as gently as possible is not going to go well.  He'll think you're nuts because he's convinced himself what he did was OK.  I say you're on vacation.   Go have fun.   What happens on the ship stays on the ship.  Go sing karaoke or do a game show you'd never do on land.  Let yourself be free and enjoy things you might never feel comfortable doing. 

 

When you're home,  deal with the reality and end things. 

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1 hour ago, Laszlo said:

Long story short, when my wife and I were on the BA I did a video tour of the Thermal Spa. I had talked to the manager and she said I was more than welcome to. She said I should arrive about 6am, that way their won't be anyone in there. So I did, the door was unlocked and I went in.

 

I thought that this story was going to go in a completely different direction...

 

1 hour ago, Laszlo said:

Walking down the hall I ran into another guy.

 

...a completely different direction...🤣

 

 

For the OP, my advice mirrors many above. Do your own thing, enjoy your cruise, don't mention that you know what you know, and deal with reality after the cruise. If he requests intimacy, decline. If he becomes aggressive or confrontational, seek help immediately.

 

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25 minutes ago, Two Wheels Only said:

 

I thought that this story was going to go in a completely different direction...

 

 

...a completely different direction...🤣

 

 

😆🤣

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I can’t imagine the pain you must be in right now. My heart goes out to you. You mentioned that he was very aware of your feelings. I feel that it is dishonest of him to keep his feelings to himself. Don’t give him the power to ruin the last couple of days for you. You will heal from this. Ask the steward to separate your beds and find things to do on the ship for yourself. I know it will be hard but get yourself a massage or something that is just for you. Let us know how you are doing. 

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