What about trans cruising?

[unseemlygamer]

I am a 24y/o transgender woman, but I was a male when I took my last cruise in 2018. While I don't know when I would like to take my next one, I'm kind of curious about what it's like to cruise when trans. I don't hear about the concept a lot compared to gay cruising. 

 

Assuming I don't get around to legally changing my name by the time I'm on my next cruise, I believe it would still be present on my room key, documents etc. and I'd still have to use it when going through customs and stuff like that.

 

Whatever the case may be, what about the experience onboard the ship and in ports of call? (I consider myself Loyal to Royal so I'll most likely be cruising with Royal Caribbean next)

I would like to be able to safely present as female without subjecting myself to discrimination, harassment or making anybody uncomfortable. I'm a bit worried that might happen if my cruise goes out of a state where a number of people tend not to accept us, let alone mind their business. I have zero tolerance for transphobic behavior. 

 

I'm not flashy or loud or anything. I just sometimes unintentionally get in the way of other people when I take pictures and stuff during these cruises. Other than that, I'm a very chill, fun-loving person. I keep to myself a lot, but there are times when I'm sociable and fun to be around. 

 

When I say I don't hear much about the concept of trans cruising, I'm mainly talking about those meetups. Do we have those of our own, or are we included in the typical LGBTQ+ gatherings? 

[geoherb]

We had a trans woman come to the LGBT meeting on one cruise. She was traveling with a gay friend. If I remember correctly, it was a large gathering with a diverse group. It was the first time I had been to such a meeting when each of the 4 letters was represented plus some straight allies. It also ranged in age from 17 to 80+. The 17-year-old was traveling with his mother. She was great. The bisexual guy was with his girlfriend.

 

The original meeting space was in the Adagio Bar (Princess ship). The daily schedule kept moving the meeting place around and changing up the time--but we all decided to keep it there at 6. 

[cruiseny4life]

I'm a gay white male so my experience may not (probably won't) be similar to yours. We all have different stories, but I felt very welcomed on the cruise my husband and I went on. We're not into PDA, dancing, partying so didn't chill with that crowd. Having said that, we saw several other gay (mostly white male) couples on board. I don't recall seeing anyone else from our alphabet soup gang actually. 

 

I write this to say that I don't believe anyone will care about you one way or another - at least I would sure hope not! So long as you are respectful and not obnoxious then who's to judge? We did sail out of NYC during spring break so there were a ton of what I assume are very welcoming NY, CT, NJ families. I think most of the judgmental waste of spacers won't cruise right now, because the vaccine is required.

 

We'll let you know our next cruise and you're welcome to hang out with us! We'll slap around any of those that are rude and condescending. 

[Vibe]

I hope that you book your next cruise soon and go and enjoy yourself.  Attend the LGBTQ+ meetings and make some new friends. I doubt that you will encounter transphobic behavior on a Royal Caribbean ship especially on a cruise 7 days or longer.

 

If you cruise out of Florida, cruises leaving from South Florida (Fort Lauderdale and Miami) usually attract a hipper and more open-minded crowd.

 

The only caution is some Caribbean islands are not known to be welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community. If you plan to go there, I think that the better choice would be the eastern Caribbean (San Juan, St. Thomas, St Maarten) over the western Caribbean (Jamacia, Belize, Roatan)

 

Enjoy, be proud and make happy memories.😄

Edited June 23, 2022 by Vibe
To add more info

[cruiseny4life]

Vibe does bring up a good point. Apparently Bermuda can qualify as an unfriendly place for our kind as well. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed Bermuda and the friendliness of the people. Finding out that Bermuda was potentially not a friendly place after the cruise made me sweat a little. I will definitely research the potential ports of call in the future! 

 

Also, apparently some island nations don't approve of camouflage clothing - the husband decided to wear a camouflage mask with him so I was a little worried about that. Thankfully nothing happened - why he wore camouflage still has me scratching my nearly bald head!

 

Have one heck of a fun cruise when you go! 

[unseemlygamer]

On 6/22/2022 at 10:13 PM, Vibe said:

If you cruise out of Florida, cruises leaving from South Florida (Fort Lauderdale and Miami) usually attract a hipper and more open-minded crowd.

 

The only caution is some Caribbean islands are not known to be welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community. If you plan to go there, I think that the better choice would be the eastern Caribbean (San Juan, St. Thomas, St Maarten) over the western Caribbean (Jamacia, Belize, Roatan)

 

What about Nassau and Coco Cay, or Cozumel?

[unseemlygamer]

On 6/23/2022 at 9:29 AM, cruiseny4life said:

Vibe does bring up a good point. Apparently Bermuda can qualify as an unfriendly place for our kind as well. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed Bermuda and the friendliness of the people. Finding out that Bermuda was potentially not a friendly place after the cruise made me sweat a little.

 

...What do you mean?

[cruiseny4life]

17 minutes ago, unseemlygamer said:

 

...What do you mean?

Apparently Bermuda has a history of being homophobic, even though laws have been passed making discrimination of LGBT+ illegal. I didn't feel any discomfort in Bermuda at all, but when I got home I realized I should have done some research. I did and it seems it can be unfriendly. Thankfully that wasn't my experience and I'm sure plenty of us have a wonderful time there.

 

My main point is just research the location(s) you're going so you know what to expect. Obviously there could be a hater anywhere, even in the most chill, friendly place ever. It's too bad we can't ever let our guard down, but eh, that's the world we live in. 

[Vibe]

5 hours ago, unseemlygamer said:

 

What about Nassau and Coco Cay, or Cozumel?

There have been safety warnings about Nassau in general, not necessarily for LGBTQ+  We have been staying on and enjoying a less full ship when the cruise stops there.

 

Coco Cay is awesome, run by Royal Caribbean.  It's our favorite place.

 

Cozumel is fun; we usually hang out in populated areas. 

Edited June 25, 2022 by Vibe

[unseemlygamer]

15 minutes ago, Vibe said:

There have been safety warnings about Nassau in general, not necessarily for LGBTQ+  We have been staying on and enjoying a less full ship when the cruise stops there.

 

Coco Cay is awesome, run by Royal Caribbean.  It's our favorite place.

 

Cozumel is fun; we usually hang out in populated areas. 

I’ve never had issues when visiting Nassau, but it’s one of those ports worth getting off the ship three times at most and that’s it.

[LGW59]

On 6/19/2022 at 4:28 PM, unseemlygamer said:

I am a 24y/o transgender woman, but I was a male when I took my last cruise in 2018. While I don't know when I would like to take my next one, I'm kind of curious about what it's like to cruise when trans. I don't hear about the concept a lot compared to gay cruising. 

 

Assuming I don't get around to legally changing my name by the time I'm on my next cruise, I believe it would still be present on my room key, documents etc. and I'd still have to use it when going through customs and stuff like that.

 

Whatever the case may be, what about the experience onboard the ship and in ports of call? (I consider myself Loyal to Royal so I'll most likely be cruising with Royal Caribbean next)

I would like to be able to safely present as female without subjecting myself to discrimination, harassment or making anybody uncomfortable. I'm a bit worried that might happen if my cruise goes out of a state where a number of people tend not to accept us, let alone mind their business. I have zero tolerance for transphobic behavior. 

 

I'm not flashy or loud or anything. I just sometimes unintentionally get in the way of other people when I take pictures and stuff during these cruises. Other than that, I'm a very chill, fun-loving person. I keep to myself a lot, but there are times when I'm sociable and fun to be around. 

 

When I say I don't hear much about the concept of trans cruising, I'm mainly talking about those meetups. Do we have those of our own, or are we included in the typical LGBTQ+ gatherings? 

I am a gay white male and my husband is an Asian male, while we have been together for quite a few years, we do have a considerable and noticeable age difference.  This does not bother us one single iota.  While I can say we have never been "bothered" by anyone about this, though we have gotten the taken aback looks when I introduce him as my husband, or the one time someone said, "did you say he was your husband?"  Had to laugh out loud at that one and we did not take offence, I simply said, "yes you heard me correctly."  My advice to you is be yourself, you are who you are, if anyone does not like it, that is THEIR problem, not yours, go and just have a great cruise/vacation!  Life is far to short to not live as who we are.  

[LGW59]

On 6/24/2022 at 3:50 PM, cruiseny4life said:

Apparently Bermuda has a history of being homophobic, even though laws have been passed making discrimination of LGBT+ illegal. I didn't feel any discomfort in Bermuda at all, but when I got home I realized I should have done some research. I did and it seems it can be unfriendly. Thankfully that wasn't my experience and I'm sure plenty of us have a wonderful time there.

 

My main point is just research the location(s) you're going so you know what to expect. Obviously there could be a hater anywhere, even in the most chill, friendly place ever. It's too bad we can't ever let our guard down, but eh, that's the world we live in. 

Bermuda has a long history of being homophobic.  The Supreme Court made gay marriage legal, then rescinded, then re-instated and the rescinded again early this year.  Transgender people have no legal protections in Bermuda and many on the island find PDA offensive, this includes holding hands 🙄 Over the years have been there 2x, never again, my hard earned $$$ goes where me and my husband are welcome LEGALLY!  Ireland still remains the only country that has legalized gay marriage by a popular vote of the people, not a court.  We are returning to Ireland (for the 3rd time) this year for two weeks and are happy to spend our $$$ in such a beautiful and welcoming country!

[TheOldBear]

I have a few answers from the trans [crossdresser] perspective and a dinner conversation with Cunard's QM2 Security Chief.

 

Cunard is a bit old fashioned, and lists the LGBT meetup as 'Friends of Dorothy" on the daily schedule.

 

You will not be the first trans person the crew [stewards, waiters, bartenders, technical & navigation, officers ...] will have encountered on the ship.

 

The name on your passport needs to match the ship's manifest - but does not need to be the name that comes up on the ship's terminal when the card is scanned. On QM2 at least there was the option of having two cards, one for 'M' and one for 'F' that would bring up the appropriate name & photo. This is useful for part timers and transitioning folks.

 

Note that at some ports you will need an official ID to get to the location where the ship's ID is scanned - and that ID needs to match [or be close enough] to your presentation.

 

At Customs/Immigration or other passport control - you need to use your passport and the name in the passport - no substitutions there. For long range planning see about documented name & gender marker changes so your passport matches you.

 

Onboard ship [seven days in a row for transatlantic crossings] for me daytime is mostly in 'guy mode' - and its 100% guy mode for pools and spa. [Maybe not 100% if you count gel nails. I would expect folks who are pre-op to avoid non private changing facilities]. Cunard still has a dress code, so I bring formal gowns for the 'gala' nights, and less formal dresses or separates for the other evenings [and sometimes during the day as well].  Formal nights have included a portrait photo with the Captain at a pre-dinner reception.

 

Our cruises have taken us to New England, Canada and Europe [Southampton, Hamburg, Normandy - and soon Norway].  I would not expect difficulties in any of these ports. [I have little interest in 'closed loop' cruises visiting hot places like the Caribbean - no matter how I am dressed].

 

So far, all excursions / port visits have been in 'guy mode'  - I will make a port by port decision on how to dress for our upcoming cool weather [November above the arctic circle] sailing. An advantage of being local to the port is being able to pack for multiple contingencies.

[cruiseny4life]

Welp the husband went ahead and booked us a cruise....to Bermuda. So I suppose we're taking our money to that nation again. I'm just so thankful the people are very friendly there! *cue the hypocritical charges* which I'm guilty of.

[jenn117]

On 6/30/2022 at 3:20 PM, TheOldBear said:

I have a few answers from the trans [crossdresser] perspective and a dinner conversation with Cunard's QM2 Security Chief.

 

Cunard is a bit old fashioned, and lists the LGBT meetup as 'Friends of Dorothy" on the daily schedule.

 

You will not be the first trans person the crew [stewards, waiters, bartenders, technical & navigation, officers ...] will have encountered on the ship.

 

The name on your passport needs to match the ship's manifest - but does not need to be the name that comes up on the ship's terminal when the card is scanned. On QM2 at least there was the option of having two cards, one for 'M' and one for 'F' that would bring up the appropriate name & photo. This is useful for part timers and transitioning folks.

 

Note that at some ports you will need an official ID to get to the location where the ship's ID is scanned - and that ID needs to match [or be close enough] to your presentation.

 

At Customs/Immigration or other passport control - you need to use your passport and the name in the passport - no substitutions there. For long range planning see about documented name & gender marker changes so your passport matches you.

 

Onboard ship [seven days in a row for transatlantic crossings] for me daytime is mostly in 'guy mode' - and its 100% guy mode for pools and spa. [Maybe not 100% if you count gel nails. I would expect folks who are pre-op to avoid non private changing facilities]. Cunard still has a dress code, so I bring formal gowns for the 'gala' nights, and less formal dresses or separates for the other evenings [and sometimes during the day as well].  Formal nights have included a portrait photo with the Captain at a pre-dinner reception.

 

Our cruises have taken us to New England, Canada and Europe [Southampton, Hamburg, Normandy - and soon Norway].  I would not expect difficulties in any of these ports. [I have little interest in 'closed loop' cruises visiting hot places like the Caribbean - no matter how I am dressed].

 

So far, all excursions / port visits have been in 'guy mode'  - I will make a port by port decision on how to dress for our upcoming cool weather [November above the arctic circle] sailing. An advantage of being local to the port is being able to pack for multiple contingencies.

I am cruising to Bermuda in November on NCL Joy with both of my adult children, including my oldest, a 27 yr old transman.  As their passport still says their birth name, I didn't realize they could get a ship's ID with their chosen name on it.  Is this something we'd just arrange at check-in when boarding?

They are pretty quiet and introverted and won't want to rock the boat, but as the mama bear to two amazing human beings in the "alphabet soup" community I will do whatever I need to  - ahead of time or at embarkation - to have them be more comfortable and not cringe every time they hear their birth name. Less important, but it may be helpful to staff as well since they look like a "Jay" and not a "Chelsea" for sure.

[TheOldBear]

2 minutes ago, jenn117 said:

I am cruising to Bermuda in November on NCL Joy with both of my adult children, including my oldest, a 27 yr old transman.  As their passport still says their birth name, I didn't realize they could get a ship's ID with their chosen name on it.  Is this something we'd just arrange at check-in when boarding?

They are pretty quiet and introverted and won't want to rock the boat, but as the mama bear to two amazing human beings in the "alphabet soup" community I will do whatever I need to  - ahead of time or at embarkation - to have them be more comfortable and not cringe every time they hear their birth name. Less important, but it may be helpful to staff as well since they look like a "Jay" and not a "Chelsea" for sure.

 

I am only familiar with Cunard's policy [as related by the head of Security] - and cannot speak for NCL.

You may want to check with their 'special needs' contact and see if an alternate card/name is possible without changes to the government issued ID [passport].

[jenn117]

Thanks TheOldBear.  I'll look into this "special needs" contact for NCL before boarding.  I need to confirm what the line needs for advance notice for dining for my Celiac youngest daughter anyway.

 

[jamie717]

On 8/10/2022 at 7:38 AM, jenn117 said:

They are pretty quiet and introverted and won't want to rock the boat, but as the mama bear to two amazing human beings in the "alphabet soup" community I will do whatever I need to  - ahead of time or at embarkation - to have them be more comfortable and not cringe every time they hear their birth name. Less important, but it may be helpful to staff as well since they look like a "Jay" and not a "Chelsea" for sure.

We are cruising Carnival in February with our teenage trans son.  This will be our first cruise since transitioning and if you have any info to share I would appreciate it.  My biggest concern is the sign and sail card that will be printed with a very feminine birth name, did NCL print a second card with preferred name?  I know Carnival is LGBTQ+ friendly and I hope I'm worrying for no reason.  Thank you, from one mama bear to another.                         

[jenn117]

On 11/15/2022 at 2:49 PM, jamie717 said:

We are cruising Carnival in February with our teenage trans son.  This will be our first cruise since transitioning and if you have any info to share I would appreciate it.  My biggest concern is the sign and sail card that will be printed with a very feminine birth name, did NCL print a second card with preferred name?  I know Carnival is LGBTQ+ friendly and I hope I'm worrying for no reason.  Thank you, from one mama bear to another.                         

We leave Saturday but I will let you know how it goes.  I was told to check in with customer service once boarded and they can put a note on the account.

[jamie717]

1 hour ago, jenn117 said:

We leave Saturday but I will let you know how it goes.  I was told to check in with customer service once boarded and they can put a note on the account.

Thank you, I would appreciate it.  I hope you all have a great cruise.

[Obobru]

We were recently on a Disney cruise and while I don't actively look out for trans people I did not a couple over the back to back cruises we did there could have been more. One was an older woman maybe early 60's and didn't seem to have any issues as I saw her in ports in the Caribbean. The other was a teen boy seemed to be running around the ship with all the other teens. 

 

I think most people just don't notice or care from the passengers prospective. Hope you get to enjoy a cruise soon. 

[jenn117]

On 11/16/2022 at 10:05 PM, jamie717 said:

Thank you, I would appreciate it.  I hope you all have a great cruise.

Sorry for the delay but I at least made it back before your cruise.

 

Customer Service onboard seemed a little confused at our request.  I went up with my oldest - even though they are 27 because they don't rock the boat and both of my children told me I was "bold" on this cruise.  Apparently assertive is "bold" to anxious 20 somethings.
They gave us the "card name must match passport" line.  I had to reiterate that we were told pre-cruise to come to the Customer Service Desk once aboard to see what could be done - at least a note on the file so they weren't called Miss Chelsea all the time.  It took persistence but they said they put a note on the file that should have come up whenever their card was scanned.

 

We had hoped for a new card with the non-birth/passport name, but they make them all in advance now so embarkation goes more smoothly/quicker.  We were on their rumored first completely full sailing since COVID and Customer Service was getting slammed so...

People do lose their cards and have to pay to get new ones printed on the ship so it must be possible.  I would have paid for them to print a new card - live and learn I guess.  My oldest was so seasick on this cruise to Bermuda out of NYC in November (my bad but the only time all of us could go) that I doubt they will be cruising again anytime soon and will probably have the name change taken care of by then if they do.

 

We did meet other trans people on the cruise and didn't run into any problems with anyone else on board.  Teens might be a little harder - I know their generation is usually more open minded about these things but...

My youngest had some "Mean Girls" when they tried the teen club years ago. Our cruise was overrun with teenagers and the usual mix I guess - some were little, inconsiderate snots and some were polite but it was easy to get caught up in the crowd mentality (as they traveled in packs on our cruise).

 

Hope you have a great cruise!

 

[jamie717]

jenn117-Thank you for sharing your experience with me/us.  I will definitely go to the service desk first thing and see if Carnival does anything differently.  The more I have looked into it, the more I see that there isn't too much that can be done.  

[fshepinc]

At the very least, know that you and your family are always welcome at the LGBTQ+ meetups. Small comfort, given the potential hassles every time you order a drink at the bar, or want to get on/off the ship, but at least there will be a safe haven to look forward to. 

 

One option that does come to mind is a Mexican Riviera cruise out of Los Angeles or San Diego. Those cruises do not require a passport for US citizens -a photo ID and birth certificate are enough, and getting a new photo ID is usually much easier/faster than getting a new passport. That should also facilitate getting a cruise card with the name to match the ID.

 

Best of luck and happy sailing!

[thegashlycrumb]

On a Carnival cruise a few years back with my wife in mid-transition she needed to board in guy mode to match her documents/legal name and did the same in port in Bermuda.

 

On the ship she presented as her female self. I bought her stickers with her chosen name to put on her card. She introduced herself to the cabin steward and waiter with her chosen name.

 

We had no questions or problems even though she looked different from the pic attached to her card (although since she has striking long blue hair, it was very obviously a picture of the same person)