A HAL Buy-Out

[hammybee]

I was going to try to snag May4 as my assistant, after all she can handle sour and cross people, but I bow to you our beloved leader: she is perfect for cruise director - inspired choice.:D

 

Valerie:)

 

Snag her. She's new but has potential and can learn at the side of us savvy cruisers. If she is reluctant, prescribe 4 scotches per hour till she sings the Frim-Fram Sauce song.

[Grampy]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

 

If Hammybee doesn't find a position for you would you cut the cheese while I butcher the meat?;)

[hammybee]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

 

Kakalina: I know you have a heart of gold but there can be no hookers on HAL. I am sorry.

[hammybee]

. Just admit it. You need me on the HammyDam. You need me bad.

 

 

Oh Snorklebear guy, I am sorry that I did not meet your need to be needed.

You are going to do a great job with those cat buckets and I know you are capable of more. So this is what we are going to do. You are now the Executive in Charge of Cabin Door Decorations. This too is a touchy subject for us loyal Mariners so you decide which half of the HammyDam ( God I love the way that sounds) will be decorated, versus not. You may also want to consider color coding the carpet so that those who offend will not interact with offendees. Here are some ideas to get the juices flowing:

[hammybee]

If Hammybee doesn't find a position for you would you cut the cheese while I butcher the meat?;)

 

Grampy:

I am speechless.

[Old As Dirt Mom]

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)

 

 

:eek: Is this still the HAL board? I thought we were all a bunch of "old fogeys" over here?!!

 

Sir John, so kind of you to think of poor old mom here, who never gets out to have any fun, and nominate me as Man Boob Inspector. My life now has meaning and purpose. ;) My outstanding qualifications would be.....what? Married to a color-blind man for twenty years who needs me to buy every stitch of clothing he ever wears, because left to his own devices he would wear plaid pants with a striped shirt?? He wouldn't dare show his man boobs in public with me around. Actually, he doesn't have any man boobs, so I guess I'm not qualified for this job at all.:rolleyes:

 

I think you need to take pity on Kakalina, Hammybee, and let her assist our Mistress of Solicitations (Serendipity, aka Betty) to ensure that only hunks may be shirtless in the Lido. Everyone else, cover up! So I nominate Kakalina as Man Boob Inspector! With the permission of our Executive Director, La Hammybea, of course. :)

 

Middle-Age Mom, who is trying to cook dinner for her hunky husband......

[hammybee]

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)

In the mean time, I will keep a sharp and keen eye out for any inflatable tenders! Your wish is my command, Ma'am!

BTW, will there music in the Disco?

Thank you Copperguy: I have too much respect for the MAM to respond for her. I am thinking that it might be best for you to stick with the inflatables and weapens of mass destruction.

[hammybee]

:eek: Is this still the HAL board? I thought we were all a bunch of "old fogeys" over here?!!

 

Sir John, so kind of you to think of poor old mom here, who never gets out to have any fun, and nominate me as Man Boob Inspector. My life now has meaning and purpose. ;) My outstanding qualifications would be.....what? Married to a color-blind man for twenty years who needs me to buy every stitch of clothing he ever wears, because left to his own devices he would wear plaid pants with a striped shirt?? He wouldn't dare show his man boobs in public with me around. Actually, he doesn't have any man boobs, so I guess I'm not qualified for this job at all.:rolleyes:

 

I think you need to take pity on Kakalina, Hammybee, and let her assist our Mistress of Solicitations (Serendipity, aka Betty) to ensure that only hunks may be shirtless in the Lido. Everyone else, cover up! So I nominate Kakalina as Man Boob Inspector! With the permission of our Executive Director, La Hammybea, of course. :)

 

Middle-Age Mom, who is trying to cook dinner for her hunky husband......

 

Our messages crossed. You are much to valuable to waste your time and energy looking for MBs. I think Kakalina of the "flesh is weak" variety has to decide if she wants to work with Betty and the Hunks or Grampy and the cheese. Decisions. Decisions.

[Grampy]

Grampy:

I am speechless.

 

Captain Hammy, we must never let the crew know that you are speechless. Stand strong.

 

I love the Frim Fram thing. You are quick on your feet.:)

[RuthC]

Captain Hammy, You are quick on your feet.:)

Not to mention her keyboard! :D (Hey, I think I just did. :rolleyes: )

OK, back to our musical interlude.

[happy cruzer]

71 posts and this is the first time the "T" word has surfaced. For the sake of your perpetual job security, should we revert back to the Tipping Optional policy ?

 

I love it, I will start practicing my Tipping Explanations:

 

Tipping is Optional

Really tipping is optional

Tipping is really optional

Tipping is optional really.

 

I love the idea of getting to say exactly the same thing over and over and still no one will understand.:)

 

Then in a couple of years could we change it again??? hee hee

[AAAAmerican]

AAAAmerican:

This is a private placement so we don't have to answer to the public about anything.

 

Yikes your P P may have trouble to muster the need accredited invstors on A Reg A filing.. even Reg B is now in the public comment period.

 

Proposed Rule: S7-23-99

AGENCY: Securities and Exchange Commission ACTION: Proposed rule SUMMARY: The Commission will publishing for comment proposed amendments to certain exemptive rules under the Investment Company Act..And Reg T we all have to follow...

 

The papers were sent with the Dock fees and Secuity Ship Taxes... a Wire was recieved by them as they sent us a confirm of the funds into ther account.

 

Having a Debt issue which we will discuss in depth, this may still be the easiest method of raising the next 219 million for us once your P P closes which we shall need before the first launch of the HammyDam:D

 

 

 

On another note: well a B Flat...

 

The selling group may need a larger overallotment as they asked again for a multiple.

[AAAAmerican]

The Secretary needs more again now:

 

Please send it to me here and I will review the material:

Princeton University Woodrow Wilson School Princeton,NJ 08544

 

Jonathan G. Katz Secretary,Securitiesand Exchange Commission 450 Fifth Street, NW.,Washington, DC 20459-0609 R

[YankeeCruiser]

Having said this, anyone who can put "whilst" and "snarky" in the same paragraph has the proven communicaton skills to confuse teens so you own the Teen CLub from Hell-o.

 

How delightful. I shall teach those little cretins the meaning of the word "veneratio" - among many others.

 

A policeman's lot is not a 'appy one...

[elmorejj]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

 

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

 

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

 

My check is in the mail.

 

Valerie:D

 

 

Valerie, one J&B with a splash, coming your way. Just let me know when you need a refill

[kakalina]

MAM thanks for your support. Hammybee Betty and the hunks please. That sounds like the name of our entertainment group.

AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ; THE NEW HAL LINE PROUDLY PRESENTS BETTY AND THE THE HUNKS. Sounds of applause and whistles

[Preacher's Kid]

I just found this thread this morning, and had to catch up. Whew!

 

I noticed, however, that there is no-one who has volunteered to be the dance inspector - no, no, not the stage shows. I'm talking about the inappropriate dancing in the disco. THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!!!

 

Also, we want to ensure that there is a sufficient quantity of Gentlemen Hosts to dance with the unaccompanied females. Otherwise, they end up dancing with each other, and we all know how uncontrolled that can be. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm channeling my former cruisemate who has found a new cruisemate (of the male persuasion) to replace me.

 

And let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained. I remember my last Mexican cruise when the pool band seemed to know only about three songs - Besame Mucho was played about every 15 minutes. They would have walked the plank if we'd had the Enforcer on board.

 

Karenlynne

[RuthC]

IAnd let's make sure that the bands - pool band' date=' disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained.[/quote']

I'll happily volunteer for this assignment. Along with quality control (chocolate division) I can handle the job.

 

I know several hundred songs (maybe a few thousand :confused: ) and can put prospective musicians to quite a test. :)

Besides, playing Stump the Musician is always a fun game. :D

[Copper10-8]

You haven't lived until you've done the Macarena 1200 times on your way to Mexico:eek:

[patwell]

Thank goodness I'm not the only delusional person left in the world!!! Where do I sign up?? I can volunteer a Certified Therapy Dog to help raise the "happy quotient" on board...he's a wonder with aging folks...always guaranteed to bring a smile to their faces. I of course have to accompany him but I have lots of formal wear, don't worry.

 

Man, You're on to something here...citizens of the world, take back what is your right!! I'm a Cunarder, but this idea is too good to pass on if you'll have me!

Cheers, Penny

[SDHALFAN]

I just found this thread this morning' date=' and had to catch up. Whew!

 

I noticed, however, that there is no-one who has volunteered to be the dance inspector - no, no, not the stage shows. I'm talking about the inappropriate dancing in the disco. THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!!!

 

Also, we want to ensure that there is a sufficient quantity of Gentlemen Hosts to dance with the unaccompanied females. Otherwise, they end up dancing with each other, and we all know how uncontrolled that can be. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm channeling my former cruisemate who has found a new cruisemate (of the male persuasion) to replace me.

 

And let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained. I remember my last Mexican cruise when the pool band seemed to know only about three songs - Besame Mucho was played about every 15 minutes. They would have walked the plank if we'd had the Enforcer on board.

 

Karenlynne[/quote']

 

 

Hi Karenlynne:

 

Well, I can see that you and I are going to have to hash out some of these ideas whilst on our upcoming cruise (with our beloved leader's permission of course, after all we are talking about the ms HammyDam here).

 

I'm not too sure about your reference to The Enforcer and walking the plank since I have now been reassigned and am in charge of the Whip - oops, I mean the Cat o' Twelvetails (we decided ninetails just wouldn't get the job done), so it could very well be that I am The Enforcer (gee, I love that - beats the heck out of going over all those pathetic comment cards (my former assignment)).

 

Don't forget to send in your $1.00 check which entitles you to a share in the ms HammyDam and includes all kind of wonderful benefits - I seem to remember being promised something like $2.00 per day cabin credit - can't beat that!

 

Valerie:D

 

p.s. Should you be awarded the post of Dance Inspector, thereby being in charge of the "gentlemen hosts", I would like to put in a request that noone under the age of 30 need apply. I can always find some old fart to dance with but that's not exactly my idea of a fun cruise if you know what I mean.;)

[SDHALFAN]

Valerie, one J&B with a splash, coming your way. Just let me know when you need a refill

 

 

Hi dear Jean:

 

You are indeed one classy lady and you know your Scotch. Trust me, when I need a refill you will be the first to know.

 

Valerie:D

[serendipity1499]

MAM thanks for your support. Hammybee Betty and the hunks please. That sounds like the name of our entertainment group.

AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ; THE NEW HAL LINE PROUDLY PRESENTS BETTY AND THE THE HUNKS. Sounds of applause and whistles

 

Oh I like the sound of that..Have always been a Ham (no offense-Capt. Hammy) My pillbox has loosened & I'm getting the Feathers ready for Opening Night... Expect we'll have at least three Curtain Calls..:rolleyes:

 

Kakalina, thanks for agreeing to join up with us...The Hunks are more fun than Cheese...;) We'll be a great team! Let me know if you need feathers too! Expecting many more Hunks to sign up...

 

Capt. Hammy-PatVal & her pooch would be great with "Brandy" (also a Certified Therapy Dog")...Patrolling for "Chair Hogs" is so much more effective with a Certified Therapy Dog Team.. We were at the Hospital today & she is well aware of what she must do..When the Chair Saver Hogs place their purses on the Lounge seats or their towels on the Pool Deck, we can send in the Dogs..Brandy Loves hunting for treats in a purse or sleeping on someones towel or bed..:)She'll even steal Poker Chips if we need $$$ to pay off the Crew.. And if the chair hogs don't go away they will kiss them to death until they give up...However I bow to your good counsel Capt. & await your decision with "bated breath"...

 

Yes, I can see the Press release now:

 

"The Hammy Dam" will be departing the Port of "Chomo Lhari", with Capt. Hammy at the helm, the 30th of February 2007 at 1700 Hrs. for Ports unknown..The gangplank will be raised at exactly 1600 hours on the 29th of February 2007... All Passengers & Crew will be properly dressed & at Parade Rest from that time on until our esteemed Capt. Hammy announces "At Ease" Matey's... All Aboard!!!

 

Goodnight All & Happy Dreaming.;) ..Betty

[hammybee]

I love it, I will start practicing my Tipping Explanations:

 

Tipping is Optional

Really tipping is optional

Tipping is really optional

Tipping is optional really.

 

I love the idea of getting to say exactly the same thing over and over and still no one will understand.:)

 

Then in a couple of years could we change it again??? hee hee

Happy Cruiser: You have the double-talk walk down pat.

[hammybee]

Yikes your P P may have trouble to muster the need accredited invstors on A Reg A filing.. even Reg B is now in the public comment period.

 

Proposed Rule: S7-23-99

AGENCY: Securities and Exchange Commission ACTION: Proposed rule SUMMARY: The Commission will publishing for comment proposed amendments to certain exemptive rules under the Investment Company Act..And Reg T we all have to follow...

 

The papers were sent with the Dock fees and Secuity Ship Taxes... a Wire was recieved by them as they sent us a confirm of the funds into ther account.

 

Having a Debt issue which we will discuss in depth, this may still be the easiest method of raising the next 219 million for us once your P P closes which we shall need before the first launch of the HammyDam:D

 

 

 

On another note: well a B Flat...

 

The selling group may need a larger overallotment as they asked again for a multiple.

 

This is scary. I actually understand this. Forget the nectar. I need scotch.