How many of you really pay attention to what others are wearing??

[lel5344]

Geez...I'm in Oak Park...send me some samples!:D

 

Dave,

 

No samples available, but if you're ever in Evanston, we're the only men's clothing store in Evanston (right in the heart of Downtown Evanston).

 

Is this a shameless plug if I don't mention the name of the Company for which I work?

[caviargal]

I do the same as Dave does and always enjoy heading to the Martini or Champagne Bar before dinner - esp. on formal nights - to watch the fashion parade. I love to see folks dressed up and enjoy those who really take the time to put a great look together and obviously feel great about looking good. I compliment outfits that I really find striking.

 

I also notice when people disregard dress "suggestions" and personally I do assume (judge) that they (1) don't care how they look, (2) don't care that they do not fit in, (3) don't care that on formal nights the ship is trying to make it a special night for passengers and their lack of regard detracts from the overall ambiance.

 

And, yes, I would be unhappy if I was seated with those folks. This is one of the reasons we opt for a table for 2 unless travelling with friends.

[Jane110]

 

Yes, we all look and we all judge.

 

Yup, that's exactly my point. Yet so many people like to think they can look and not form an opinion and it's simply not true. Why deny or think it's bad form?

 

 

But I think we get into trouble when we starting assigning character traits based on appearance. There are threads on these boards where people are assumed to be "classless," "low-rent," "plebian," "dirty," "rude," and a host of other negative things, based solely on how they're dressed.

 

That's a different issue entirely and I agree with you. It's called going overboard. (sorry couldn't resist the cruise pun) and in some cases it's being close minded. Sure I meet many people who might not be as well dressed as I am for many reasons - they don't care about fashion, they can't afford to dress to dress well, etc etc. That wouldn't preclude me from wanting to get to know them or make me think lesser of them. I think that would be judging people very negatively and limiting my opportunity to meet fun and interesting people. I don't need nor want to only interact with people who mirror my own lifestyle - I have way more interests than that.

For DH and me, travel is about interacting with those that are different from us and one way to know who's different is judging by the way they dress. No one could look at me and think I'm a farmer. I know I look like someone who lives in a large cosmopolitan city - that's a judgement others make about me. It's not negative or positive, it just "is".

But the truth is, many of us, and I'll include myself here, feel that people who show up in a dining room in sloppy tee's, ripped shorts and sandals are rude and selfish and have a "me only" attitude. Yup, that's a negative judgement.

What I really don't understand is when people say things like, "Well I'd rather sit next to a nice person in a tee than a not nice person in a tuxedo" as if that's the only choice! It's not! :)

[Happy ks]

Someone else once said, "Judge not." ;)

 

Yes, we all look and we all judge. But I think we get into trouble when we starting assigning character traits based on appearance. There are threads on these boards where people are assumed to be "classless," "low-rent," "plebian," "dirty," "rude," and a host of other negative things, based solely on how they're dressed.

 

 

I have to agree with this statement.

 

I used to be more quick to make assumptions based on clothing choice, but too many individuals have changed my mind :)

 

There definitely are people who fit their clothing style, but as critterchick pointed out, that can go two ways! I've met so many nice people in clothing I've wondered about, I do try to keep my focus on the neck up most of the time.

[Jane110]

dancers.

 

The second reason is an experience we had on a previous cruise. My DH and I were travellling with my 72 yr old mother. On the first evening, our dinner companions arrived- a very well dressed couple and their college age son. They lost no time letting us know that our table location was unsatisfactory and spent a good part of the meal telling us a long story about cruising with their mother/grandmother and what a burden she was the entire trip. By the end of dinner, we were very uncomfortable particularly on my mothers' behalf.

To our pleasure, the next evening they had moved on "to a better neighbourhood" and we were joined by two older ladies who were travelling together. They were not really compliant with the dress code, but they had travelled and worked all over the world and were interesting and very funny.

I did see the other couple and their son several times after that and each time they were beautifully dressed- but well dressed boors are still boors.

 

So are you saying that all well dressed people are ill- mannered boors and those that don't comply with the dress code are generally nicer people? I'll assume you really didn't mean that. ;)

 

Point is unpleasant people come in all styles of dress and pleasant people do as well. But if you point out one family and extend it as a generalization about all well dressed families, I think it is a very big negative judgement that simply isn't true. :)

[45014]

I admit it, I do look at what people wear. When cruise with our best friends, she and I critique and comment on other people's attire. Our motto is, "just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you can wear it." I now it is shallow but, I am probably more trueful than anyone else will admit on this board.

[brenda56]

So are you saying that all well dressed people are ill- mannered boors and those that don't comply with the dress code are generally nicer people? I'll assume you really didn't mean that. ;)

 

Point is unpleasant people come in all styles of dress and pleasant people do as well. But if you point out one family and extend it as a generalization about all well dressed families, I think it is a very big negative judgement that simply isn't true. :)

 

Sorry not to be clear. My story was an attempt to illustrate exactly your point. My reference was to that one cruise only and our experience only. The statement was essentially that at boor is a boor no matter how well dressed; not that all well dressed people are boors. You seem to be generalizing a little yourself:rolleyes: . Also to be honest, I was typing while still under the influence of my reaction to an earlier poster who indicated that they approach people who are not well dressed and ask them if they forgot it is formal night.

[Happy ks]

I admit it, I do look at what people wear. When cruise with our best friends, she and I critique and comment on other people's attire. Our motto is, "just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you can wear it." I now it is shallow but, I am probably more trueful than anyone else will admit on this board.

 

 

 

Are you really truthful or just mean spirited?

 

The thing is that no matter who you are or how you are dressed, there will always be someone critical of your choices. So, would it make you feel good to know the smiling guy checking you out from the other side of the room is not admiring you but thinking "she's way too old/young/skinny/fat/dumpy/clumsy etc.... to be wearing that outfit"!

 

My point being yes, we all do notice, especially when something looks odd to us. But, put yourself in others shoes and please be nice.

[critterchick]

What I really don't understand is when people say things like, "Well I'd rather sit next to a nice person in a tee than a not nice person in a tuxedo" as if that's the only choice! It's not! :)

 

I didn't say it was the only choice, but their attire is not MY choice to make - they're going to show up dressed as they are, and I can't exactly channel my mother and march them back to their rooms to dress properly, now can I?;)

[Kan't Wait]

M'dear, those are judgements, plain and simple judgements about others.

BTW, nothing is bad about judgements, we all do it, all the time.

 

I'm not just directing this to you, but also to all the others who think they "look" but don't "judge".

 

Look at it this way: If you see a woman who is wearing the most beautiful dress you've ever seen and she's glowing with happiness and her husband is smiling at her and you think to yourself "gee, they look like such happy people and she has such great style" You're making a judgement!!! Actually, you're making two - one about her dress and one about their relationship.

 

Got it?

 

I learned from a wonderful psychologist long ago, "people watching is people judging, and we all do it".

(and i think it's a lot of fun!)

 

Okay so I judge :D. I would like to think that I judge with empathy :confused:

I also think that some judgements are educated and some are not so educated. Some people just don't know and others just don't care. I see where that is a judgement but at the same time it is an observation of a coming judgement :)

I never feel as though I am better than someone because of how I choose to dress but I do feel as though I am better at choosing what to wear then some or at least seeking out help for what to wear.

 

 

Someone else once said, "Judge not."

 

Yes, we all look and we all judge. But I think we get into trouble when we starting assigning character traits based on appearance. There are threads on these boards where people are assumed to be "classless," "low-rent," "plebian," "dirty," "rude," and a host of other negative things, based solely on how they're dressed.

 

I'm sorry but some people really are dirty ;) and some people are really rude. But I do agree that one can't tell based solely on what they are wearing.

[wraithe]

I didn't say it was the only choice, but their attire is not MY choice to make - they're going to show up dressed as they are, and I can't exactly channel my mother and march them back to their rooms to dress properly, now can I?;)

 

That'd be a neat trick if you could! I could talk about that for weeks!:p

[Bolaine]

I am a first time cruiser and do not know what level of formality of dress is expected for the dinners. I am going on vacation,not a fashion show. I will wear what I feel confortable in. If people don't like it, o well !!

bolains DW.

[Kurbanfan]

I am a first time cruiser and do not know what level of formality of dress is expected for the dinners. I am going on vacation,not a fashion show. I will wear what I feel confortable in. If people don't like it, o well !!

bolains DW.

 

Ahh but evidently you are.........Rumor has it you will be judged:D :p :)

[greatam]

For all of you that don't think people make comments-direct from the Cunard board on last January's Winter Crossing (and this was written by a guy)

 

Captain's Cocktail Party

 

Chart Room, Forward, by the Mauretania Painting (the better to view the queue)

 

Tables of four, two people face aft, to appraise the approaching apparitions, two people face forward to review the receding riots.

 

Comments delivered strictly sotto voce, all the while smiling and nodding at the queue. Judgements must be reached without fear or favour, and especially without favour, all the while cheerfully acknowledging that one is in absolutely no position one's self to comment on the sartorial misadventures of others, but will do so anyway.

 

Its not pretty, its not clever, but it is fun!

 

The 'tart in a meringue' comment was on one of the UK's most popular soaps - Coronation Street - when one of the ladies of dubious repute got married in a rather vulgar white wedding dress.

 

Of course, the best comment still belongs to Maggie Smith in her ad-lib in Gosford Park:

 

'Such a difficult colour, green'.

 

And this a few days later

 

Fashion Polce

Did get an outing at the Senior Officer's party. Admired gowns included the ruffled spangly white job that reminded some of bathrom curtains, and a reall stunner in patriotic Cunard orange/red - a shade better left to funnels. Also, when ones embonpoint has not only expanded, but started to give in to Mr Gravity, drawing attention to the fact may not be the wisest course, smothering it in sequins, of a Pheonix, where nothing in this case will be rising again.....

[sgttami]

I guess I am a people watcher on the formal nights. I wouldn't say that I judge who's wearing what but I just check out the scenery!!

 

From the gorgeous outfits I've seen to the "what are they thinking", I'll keep a low profile in my basic black and hope that no one is observing me!!

 

I've seen stunning and ridiculous (I've posted past reviews).

 

On one cruise however, a woman boarded, directly in front of me with big pink curlers in her hair. How can you NOT pay attention to that???

[klct39lg]

I guess I am a people watcher on the formal nights. I wouldn't say that I judge who's wearing what but I just check out the scenery!!

 

From the gorgeous outfits I've seen to the "what are they thinking", I'll keep a low profile in my basic black and hope that no one is observing me!!

 

I've seen stunning and ridiculous (I've posted past reviews).

 

On one cruise however, a woman boarded, directly in front of me with big pink curlers in her hair. How can you NOT pay attention to that???

 

Evidently, she wanted to look nice......later.:D

[Happy ks]

OK, in my original post, I wondered how some people figure out percentages of people dressed one way or the other.

 

I'll see threads where people have posted "60% of the women were in long dresses 20% in formal gowns, 15% in cocktail dresses and 5% not formal at all". The same type of posts with regards to men "80% in suits, 10% in tuxes, 5% in shirtsleeves and tie, 5% not formal at all".

 

How in the heck can anyone get these figures???? Your experience is limited by the people you see and you certainly don't see all 2000 (or more) of them. I couldn't begin to tell percentages, I don't pay that much attention. I'm usually concentrating too much to the conversation at my table, or with our group of friends in the lounge area.

 

It's odd to see the couple of people in shorts and T-shirts amongst the formal wear for sure. If it were me, I'd be most uncomfortable, quite the opposite of how some people will post here how "it is my vacation and I'll wear what I want". If I truly wanted to not participate in the requested dress of the evening, I think I'd not go into the dining room, show room, lounges etc... I'd feel as if there were a beacon over my head :o I can't say I look down on them, I just wonder how they feel good that way :confused: .

 

We have changed after dinner, we like to walk laps on the upper deck. It's windy and sometimes wet up there and I'm not going in a long dress and heels :) I learned a long time ago that I'm more comfortable taking an alternate route and avoiding the areas where people will be congregating in finery.

 

So, do you think they do it for the attention (albeit negative in some cases) or they don't care or they don't have a clue??

[happysinglemom]

It's odd to see the couple of people in shorts and T-shirts amongst the formal wear for sure. If it were me, I'd be most uncomfortable, quite the opposite of how some people will post here how "it is my vacation and I'll wear what I want". If I truly wanted to not participate in the requested dress of the evening, I think I'd not go into the dining room, show room, lounges etc... I'd feel as if there were a beacon over my head :o

 

I've wondered that too...mostly from reading posts on this board - (Truely I rarely noticed any folks dressed like that when we were dining on our cruises.) Being in a such a setting, with tuxed waiters and the like, I would feel very strange and "on display" if I was dressed "down".

 

We have changed after dinner, we like to walk laps on the upper deck. It's windy and sometimes wet up there and I'm not going in a long dress and heels :) I learned a long time ago that I'm more comfortable taking an alternate route and avoiding the areas where people will be congregating in finery.

 

I think I am the odd one out here - I rarely miss a chance to walk out on the decks in my evening wear. I think it's something about the old movie 'mystique'...must be a cruise ship scene somewhere that I am subconsciously reenacting. :D

 

So, do you think they do it for the attention (albeit negative in some cases) or they don't care or they don't have a clue??

 

My guess is the attention. I don't think they could walk around and not have a clue.

[bububr]

YOUR statement is my point exactly.

 

There are those who choose like normal adults to follow ( with interpretation, sometimes ) the dress code. THere are others who feel they just don't have to because they are special. There are many faces of comfortable, and one of them is appropriatw wear that fits propperly, which doesn't include anything else but appropriate wear that fits propperly.

 

However if you wish to dress less than expected, why crash the party? being an adult and joining the alternative casual dining would be the correct thing to do.

 

Thats really the point of this thread. Making the right decision, or crashing the party.

 

Dave:eek:

[Happy ks]

 

 

 

I think I am the odd one out here - I rarely miss a chance to walk out on the decks in my evening wear. I think it's something about the old movie 'mystique'...must be a cruise ship scene somewhere that I am subconsciously reenacting. :D

 

 

 

 

 

We rarely see anyone, dressed in formal wear or regular clothes up on deck. It's too bad, the ocean is beautiful at night, the stars are out if the night is clear, it's so peaceful up there. But, we run into maybe 5-10 other people, total. We generally stay out there an hour or so.

 

We walk laps at a fairly brisk pace, I'd never chance it in heels :p

[Happy ks]

 

Thats really the point of this thread. Making the right decision, or crashing the party.

 

Dave:eek:

 

Actually, my point was asking people if they really paid attention. It was never intended as a debate whether or not to dress according to "code" (hate that term).

 

I always find it odd that people give percentages and make blanket statements with regards to what others are wearing.

 

I can only answer for myself, I wear what I like and try to dress according to how the host (ship) has requested. I like clothing, I like to dress up for dinner, not only on a cruise ship but also at home as well. I don't dress in nice clothes for work (messy job) so I love the opportunity to enjoy finer things.

[wraithe]

I am a first time cruiser and do not know what level of formality of dress is expected for the dinners. I am going on vacation,not a fashion show. I will wear what I feel confortable in. If people don't like it, o well !!

bolains DW.

 

Just out of curiosity, what do you mean by clothes "I feel comfortable in"?

[bububr]

You are correct, And this thread has gone a bit astray, so to put it back into perspective, my answer to your question is "Yes", I do notice.

 

Dave:eek:

[Lois R]

You are correct, And this thread has gone a bit astray, so to put it back into perspective, my answer to your question is "Yes", I do notice.

 

Dave:eek:

 

Dave, you are being kind......;) gone astray?

Its gone way beyond astray:eek:

 

I wonder why the people who get so upset

choose to even post on here:confused:.

It is a fashion forum on a cruise site.....just like there is an air forum,

a foodie forum, etc...etc...

We enjoy talking fashions:) and Kathy is correct, usually things stay civil...(usually is the

operative word)

 

If the fashion forum isn't "your thing" that is ok!!!! But some of us enjoy it here!

[golfnkitties]

We love to sit with our pre dinner drinks and admire the various outfits, especially on formal nights.

 

But, on a 14 day cruise, do we know if someone wears something more than once ? Of course not ! And more to the point, who cares ? Look nice and cleaned up, men and women, and everyone will be, or should be, happy ! :D:D