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Live From The Noordam With Tomc

tomc

By tomc,
in Holland America Line

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tomc

tomc

Posted
Posted

Here we are, sailing south at what I assume is full speed. I am really disappointed at how cool it is, but we're only 2.5 hours out, so I guess we're not far enough south for it to make much of a difference.

 

I took a cab from the Port Authority Bus Terminal. "Passenger Ship Terminal," I told the cabbie. "Huh?" he replied. "Where is that?" Off to a bad start, I thought to myself. Summoning up my best Farsi, I said, "Big boat in water. Drive cab to boat. 55th Street and 12th Avenue." He nodded, "Ah! Good!"

 

People were getting off the ship late; someone said the Noordam was late getting in, another person said it arrived on time. Perhaps nobody could find the gangway, or it could be the staff lost the key and couldn't get the door open.

 

Once they cleared the ship, our embarkation went quick and smooth with no glitches at all. Typical HAL efficiency. There are 1,997 people on board this cruise, 1,996 of them above retirement age and 1,990 way above retirement age.

 

I have a delightful room for one with sufficient closet space. Unfortunately, it's actually a double and I have a roomie. One of us will have to stand in the corridor while the other changes his mind.

 

One of the senior officers on the Titanic was a guy named Murdoch, and so is the CD on our trip. I told the internet manager to wear his life jacket at all times, as this could be an omen.

 

HAL's lifeboat drill was the typical serious matter, with the captain issuing several of what amounted to be "shut up and listen" announcements from the bridge. The crew went around adjusting the jackets for people who screwed up (me, as usual, although I'm getting better all the time).

 

The Lido staff is friendly, as usual. I've been wearing a CC tag that I made up and now they recognize me without it. Tomorrow I start leaving rubber bugs (mostly cockroaches) on my table when they walk by. It worked pretty well last year.

 

Speaking of which, I was going to have supper in the Lido, but the cooks and staff were wearing those vinyl gloves. No way. If the food is too gross for them to touch, then it's too gross for me to eat. I went to the dining room instead.

 

I wanted Traditional Dining, but ended up with As You Wish. Well, the other guy at the table was a drunk and my wish was that he would disappear, but it didn't happen. So much for "as you wish." I heard the same five issues over and over and over. Then he started grilling me on how much I paid for the cruise; well, Hollywood stars will have virgin births before I give out that information. I smiled. He said, "It must be tough being a non-drinker with someone who is drunk." I stopped smiling. As a paramedic would say, watching Sesame Street, "This meal was brought to you by the letters E-T-O-H."

 

That's the report for the first day out.

 

This post came to you Live from the Noordam.

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ger_77

ger_77

Posted
Posted

Oh my goodness, this is going to be one of those "my cheeks are hurting from reading this" threads. A question . . . did you know you were going to have a roomie, or is this a person who just wouldn't get off the last cruise? :eek:

 

Enjoy your cruise - I'm looking forward to more reports from the Noordam.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

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CTBob

CTBob

Posted
Posted

Great writing Tom. Sorry to say it won't warm up for another day or so, but I think you'll be OK. Did you have your M&G yet? Hopefully you'll find some good people to hang out with. Admittedly it took us a few days to get the hang of AYW dining. It really was never "as we wished", but it worked out OK and we never went hungry. I hope the rest of your cruise is an improvement, but I guess that's a given. I'll look forward to your next installment.

 

Bob

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cruz4evr

cruz4evr

Posted
Posted
Here we are, sailing south at what I assume is full speed. I am really disappointed at how cool it is, but we're only 2.5 hours out, so I guess we're not far enough south for it to make much of a difference.

 

I took a cab from the Port Authority Bus Terminal. "Passenger Ship Terminal," I told the cabbie. "Huh?" he replied. "Where is that?" Off to a bad start, I thought to myself. Summoning up my best Farsi, I said, "Big boat in water. Drive cab to boat. 55th Street and 12th Avenue." He nodded, "Ah! Good!"

 

People were getting off the ship late; someone said the Noordam was late getting in, another person said it arrived on time. Perhaps nobody could find the gangway, or it could be the staff lost the key and couldn't get the door open.

 

Once they cleared the ship, our embarkation went quick and smooth with no glitches at all. Typical HAL efficiency. There are 1,997 people on board this cruise, 1,996 of them above retirement age and 1,990 way above retirement age.

 

I have a delightful room for one with sufficient closet space. Unfortunately, it's actually a double and I have a roomie. One of us will have to stand in the corridor while the other changes his mind.

 

One of the senior officers on the Titanic was a guy named Murdoch, and so is the CD on our trip. I told the internet manager to wear his life jacket at all times, as this could be an omen.

 

HAL's lifeboat drill was the typical serious matter, with the captain issuing several of what amounted to be "shut up and listen" announcements from the bridge. The crew went around adjusting the jackets for people who screwed up (me, as usual, although I'm getting better all the time).

 

The Lido staff is friendly, as usual. I've been wearing a CC tag that I made up and now they recognize me without it. Tomorrow I start leaving rubber bugs (mostly cockroaches) on my table when they walk by. It worked pretty well last year.

 

Speaking of which, I was going to have supper in the Lido, but the cooks and staff were wearing those vinyl gloves. No way. If the food is too gross for them to touch, then it's too gross for me to eat. I went to the dining room instead.

 

I wanted Traditional Dining, but ended up with As You Wish. Well, the other guy at the table was a drunk and my wish was that he would disappear, but it didn't happen. So much for "as you wish." I heard the same five issues over and over and over. Then he started grilling me on how much I paid for the cruise; well, Hollywood stars will have virgin births before I give out that information. I smiled. He said, "It must be tough being a non-drinker with someone who is drunk." I stopped smiling. As a paramedic would say, watching Sesame Street, "This meal was brought to you by the letters E-T-O-H."

 

That's the report for the first day out.

 

This post came to you Live from the Noordam.

 

 

I just got back from the January 16th cruise on the Noordam and we arrived around 8 a.m., a bit late due to an unexpected turbulent sea which started around 3 a.m. Friday morning. :( The captain informed us that it was not even predicted in the weather report and even when we were well into the storm, it still was not mentioned in the report. The waves were 18 feet with winds blowing at 60 miles an hour at times.

Nevertheless, it was rough going for at least 18 hours while the ship bounced us around as if you were in one of those fun houses at a fair. I hope by the time you cruise in that general area, the sea will be more tranquil. Good luck with your dining accommodations! :)

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tomc

tomc

Posted
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All continues to go well. To those who wonder, remember that this is not the most serious thread you will read and is subject to a bit of exaggeration.

 

Last night's show included comedian, so she advertises herself, Janine Gardner. She was not particularly smooth and the audience was not particularly appreciative. Still, she hung in there. At the start, she mentioned something about being better if the audience had a couple of drinks in it, which is probably true. But a stone-sober crowd isn't quite what she works with best. You could tell she was uncomfortable after the first few lines died. I left when she started doing impressions. It was me or her and she stayed. Now: this is my opinion. Others may have found her just fine.

 

I think the band was "augmented" with some sort of back-up disc, or something. I heard instruments that were not onstage. It sounded good, by the way, similar to the way things were in The Olde Days when the HAL ships had a real orchestra. If the musicians were playing to an augmented track, it was a good idea and worked well.

 

The drunk at my table last night, if I didn't mention it, couldn't figure the concept of the Cruise Critics. "You folks just go from ship to ship reviewing it? They give you free cruises? Is that all you do, just criticize ships?" I gave up on it about the third or fifth time around. Then he ordered another martini and I figured it was time to go. I should have mentioned that Bill is a nice guy and all his friends would be meeting every day...

 

Seas overnight were running high. I fell out of bed twice and the third time ended up in another cabin. THAT is what you call rough. They moderated earlier today, but it's up again as I write this. We're off Cape Hatteras, 16,000 feet of water, doing 21 knots; for you Canadians, that's south of Toronto, eh, 28 celsius per furlong and about the same speed as a dog sled.

 

Here's Your Lifejacket; What's Your Hurry? As an insert in the morning NY Times, the crew stuck the disembarkation form. First full day out and they can't get rid of us fast enough. Disembark plans? Hey, I haven't even planned what I'm having for breakfast yet.

 

The Purell Handshake ... glop yourself up, then watch your hand slip as you try to greet another person in the buffet line.

 

The Meet & Greet went well. They greased us up with various beverages more potent than coffee and little thingys with toothpicks sticking out of them. Mystery meat, from mystery animals caught by mystery hunters on mystery islands far away on the uncharted seas.

 

So far, no Code Red. And, as there are no children onboard, no Code Yellow in the swimming pools. Actually, it's nice being the youngest person on board.

 

The ship is providing doggie bags if you want them. They are available, oddly enough, at the elevators. Haven't figured that one out yet. They weren't there when we sailed down the Hudson River.

 

This post came to you live from the Noordam.

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welove2cruise232

welove2cruise232

Posted
Posted

Tom, thanks for taking the time to post your live thread -- you're on the same itinerary as our upcoming Noordam cruise on 3/8, so will be very interested to hear what you have to say about the ports, and what you did at each.

 

Also curious about HAL's new menus, and the fact that they're bringing local fish and produce from the islands -- we were very disappointed in the seafood offerings on our last cruise -- or lack of! Don't waste your time ordering the salmon off the everyday menu -- ugh...

 

Keep it coming!

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ger_77

ger_77

Posted
Posted
We're off Cape Hatteras, 16,000 feet of water, doing 21 knots; for you Canadians, that's south of Toronto, eh, 28 celsius per furlong and about the same speed as a dog sled.

 

Thanks for the metric conversion for us in the "frozen tundra" - it's always good to know speed in dog-sled. :D FYI the doggie bags are so you can show your roomie what you had for dinner!

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

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