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what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?


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On our first cruise, the day before debarkation the cruise director comes over the PA system. He said "As you all know, it is not legal for US citizens to bring cuban cigars off the ship. So tomorow morning we will be having a smoke-out up by the smokestack. For you Canadians, Canada does not forbid cuban cigars, HOWEVER, being we are debarking into a U.S. port, we look forward to you joining us tomorow morning by the smokestack." This got a chuckle from everyone around us, but a few hours later, there was a passenger trying to re-sell the excess that he had bought. Still wonder if he was Canadian.

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On our American Hawaii cruise, I was traveling with my mother-in-law and 2 children, who were about 10 & 7. It was lobster night. A waiter came up behind us and asked "May I take your head away?" My mother-in-law & I still crack up laughing when we talk about this, I'm not sure why it struck us as so funny, because my kids remember it, but didn't find it amusing at all. (We had whole lobsters & he wanted to remove the shells.) I think it kind of invoked the image of a human head on a platter, covered with one of those silver domes.

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I've only been on one cruise so far, but this was an interesting experience... I was sitting with a bunch of my group members on the Lido deck at around 3 in the morning, eating and chatting it up while Carnival's "Beer and Bathrobes" party went on right outside. My younger brother (this happened last August, so he was 12) went to get some pizza, and he came back with this horrified look on his face, and no pizza.


"Mike, what's wrong?"

"A lady... Just came by and slapped my ass."


She must have been drunk.


"Did she say anything when she did it?" I asked.

"I don't remember," Michael responded, still in shock. "I was just so mortified..."


I'm a big journal-writer, so I had a whole book devoted to that one week... I got some funny quotes in there... Wait, let me get another one, while I have this book out...


(At dinner)

Emily (10yrs old): If you don't like meat, you should just become a... (can't think of the word)

Maggi (that's me!): A vegetarian?

Emily: No, I don't know. I don't know if it's "vegetarian," "vegan" or "virgin."


Kathy: Hey, Mandy, was that you waving at me from the elevator?

Amanda: Um, what? No...

Kathy: ...Oops

Tommy: I told you it wasn't her!


Kathy: (dips her napkin in her husband's water glass) You drinking this, sweetie?

Tommy: Not now!


So the next night at dinner...


Kathy: (moves water glass to middle of the table) This is the washing glass.



It's just those little cruise moments that makes things so memorable. Of course, it helps that I wrote down just about every "little moment"... :)

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dont know if its the same couple but the one i met lives in or near portland oregon ----the man was the silent type but the woman carried a bear that wore a matching shirt to the couple --had a llife jacket during drill and wore a tuzx at dinner and she had it sitting on the table and kept trying to feed it off her plate-she did tell us that there was another bear in the cabin they was being punished for misbehaving ----her daughter and son in law was also on the ship but sat at a different table-----we figured that if the kids didnt want to sit with them neither did we and a 20 to the maitre d took care of that



These people live next door to my brother-in-law. He had no idea about the bear thing and the bear people invited him and my sisiter-in-law to dinner at their house. The table was set for SIX and the "good bears" got to join them for dinner. The couple put food on the bears plates and carried on a conversation as if they were real. One bear even didn't get any dessert because he didn't finish his dinner! Needless to say, they have never accepted another dinner invite since!!!!!!:eek:

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After drying the tears from my eyes after the old lady in the wheelchair story, I remembered this one from 10 years ago. My husband, myself and our best friends were crusing on the Carnival Jubilee. Our husbands are always thinking up ways to surprise us. We get out to the pool on our first day at sea and they are in normal swim trunks. We get our towels all fixed on our lounge chairs and start to lay out in the sun. After about a half hour, they say they're going to try out the slide. They both get up and take off their swim trunks. Underneath they had the skimpiest pair of matching speedos!!! Off they go to the slide together, laughing hand in hand. Needless to say, her and I were laughing our heads off. Later that night, she and I were in the disco and met 2 really great couples that we wanted to introduce our husbands to. We went to the casino and brought the husbands back to meet the the 2 couples. As we are walking up to the table, the couples are laughing so hard that they're crying. One of the wives says " These are your husbands? We saw them up on deck this afternoon and thought they were GAY!:)

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One night we were on our way back to the cabin, and this very intoxicated man, all dressed up in his tux, was weaving first to the left and then to the right. We kept trying to pass him but it seemed like he always went the opposite way that we expected him to, so we were having difficulty trying to get around him. finally he lurched so far to the left that he bumped into the wall. As we were finally passing him he seemed somewhat embarrassed and slurred "These damn big waves, ya can't even walk like a normal person." Of course the sea was very calm. So every time we see someone walking a little unsteady on their feet, no matter where we are, we say "yep it must be those damn waves!" :D

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Not so funny, but odd none the less. Our last cruise we saw an elderly (around 80) man, a rather portly gentleman in a white speedo....OK not so bad until....he went swimming. The suit became see through!:eek: Those topless decks became tame in comparison!


While on a cruise, a few years back, there was a sexy legs contest for men. A couple of gay men entered, wearing black speedos with brightly colored fruit on them. They won!

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We sailed on the Carnival Tropicale a few years ago, before they sold her. We went out and got a good seat near the pool for the ice carving demonstration. There was quite a crowd, including an overweight, elderly couple sitting right next to the pool, very near the ice carver. The man was wearing a conservative pair of large swim trunks, but the woman was wearing a bikini that was totally see-through! :eek: I don't know if she didn't know it was see-through, or if maybe it wasn't really meant to be a swim suit, or if she just didn't care that everyone could see ALL of her. I mean, she was walking around the ice-carver, in front of every one, taking pictures! If she were young and/or thin, she would have been getting a different kind of attention, but everyone was just snickering behind their hands. Needless to say, not many people were watching the ice-carving demonstration. ;)

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"but everyone was just snickering behind their hands."


LMAO! (falling out of chair)

Oh, that's just awful! :eek: LOL! (getting up from the floor). .. someone should have told her. (serious heartfelt reply)LOL! (but can't help but laugh because it wasn't me)

Poor thing.:( (wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, but feeling bad)

I'll be wearing my sweat suit!:cool:

(and now that's the truth for sure!)


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On my first cruise when I was 14, we were on the Franconia (o.k. now I'm aging myself) there was one woman who wore the same gold lamé (sp?) dress morning, noon, and night all seven days. :eek: Her luggage COULD have been lost, but there was a shop on the ship to buy another outfit...so I'm not sure why she didn't. I can still picture her all these years later!

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Last April on the Maasdam doing a 7-day Eastern Caribbean out of FLL, there was a couple who wore slippers EVERYWHERE on the ship. These were not your ordinary slippers, but those big stuffed ones - like Tweety-bird, puppies, etc. The woman walked with a cane so I think she actually had some problems with her feet - and her DH just kept her company.


During the Mariners award presentation, they went up on stage to get their award (I forget which one it was) and they were wearing their slippers - beautiful big blue and white replicas of a HAL ship.


There was also a service dog who got an award for 300 days.



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We were docking in Costa mayo on about the forth day of our cruise. I was standing on one of the upper decks talking to a young lady when the door open and this elderly lady came out. She was holding on to the door,then the railand king of staggering out the door. The young lady went over and asked" Excuse me are you afraid of heights?" the lady replied "No I'm deathly afraid of water." Where had she been for four days?

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OK..just two things


1. On the Dawn last Feb I was sitting at the Biminimi Bar overlooking the pool area. I happen to look down at this person moving around below on lounge chairs and catch a glimpse of a woman wearing a thong and no top (well, she had the top, but it was "arranged"off her "fruits"). This woman did NOT stop squirming around, rolling over, bending, etc.


I , against my better judgement, but could not resist, tell my hub to look down. He is totally mordified/engrossed. :rolleyes: So he is standing at the rail watching this woman (she must have come from one of those nudist countries cuz she did not want to or try to cover up at all) and every guy that happens to walk by my hub, he nudges them and says..."Looky down there". Before you know it, this bar is FULL of people, (this is usually an quiet area) looking down at this woman. This went on for over one hour. I was in hysterics watching the reaction of all the other passengers. I never saw her again, but a few remembered my husband for pointing out the "sight".


Which leads to #2...We had a balcony cabin, hub and I are out enjoying the huge seas (24- 28 feet) on way home. I decide to go to Panio Bar to grab a drink and return to the room. Of course, when I get to bar and order drink, I meet up with this woman who remembers me from the thong incident and how happy her husband was to be "let onto the sight", and order second drink to return to room. As I approach my room, I see two NCL officers in front of my door...I am concerned but very curious. It seems that when I left the room for my drink, I left my husband on the balcony and locked the door to the balcony behind me, leaving him stranded. He had to wait for someone to go out to thier balcony and scream for help!!!! oh, my ,,,god....:eek:


I still to this day say "I DID NOT LOCK HIM OUT ON PURPOSE!!!!" Though the next day arriving late into NYC it was pointed out that I may have been trying to get back at him for watching the "thong show". We did have quite a few crew members and passengers laughing...had not seen that one yet.

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My family and I were on the Fantasy in '90 and went to Freeport. My hair was long and I wore it down. It seemed that every few feet, someone was asking to braid my hair, which I declined. One young girl was insistent and had asked several times, but I still declined. Shortly after, we had stopped to rest and grab a drink. That same young girl walked by with her finger at least two joints up her nose!:eek:


Guess I know now how they keep those braids together!

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Re: the couple who wear the slippers - I know who they are, they are well known on the Holland America boards, Jim and Ruth Vrhovac. Yes, they do wear their slippers and have entire cupboards full of them (they actually bring suitcases full of slippers on the trip) - and coordinate their outfits around the slippers ... or is it the other way around, I can't remember. I do know the one night Jim wore his black and white Pepe Le Pew (skunk) slippers with his white tuxedo jacket for formal evening.


They are lovely people (haven't met them personally, but have conversed with them on the boards and on the telephone), and I'd love to be on a ship with them. They don't take life too seriously, and I appreciate people like that. They are neat people who don't mind people looking at them with a smile on their faces. Say hi to them if you ever see them onboard again - you'll get a charge out of them.


Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

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During spring break last year on the Imagination everyone on the ship knew who the "drunk girls" were. Two very attractive and very young girls from Michigan were the life of the parties from kraoke to pool parties. On formal night these two were climing over furniture to get from point a to point b and one broke her high heel of of one shoe. As a father of daughters the same age (they were home) I felt quite bad and for them and at their behavior. But they seemed to survive quite well and made many new friends. They must have spoke to or interacted with most every passenger. The funniest was as we were on a bus in Ocho Rios we saw one of the girls walking along the road with a new braided hairdo. I said to my wife that there was one of the "drunk girls". What was so funny was that everyone on the bus laughed as they knew who the girls were.

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It's funny how certain people get labels during a cruise. We were on the Carnival Inspiration with another couple, and we always laughed whenever we saw "Grandma." She was an older lady, probably 70 or so, who seemed to be traveling alone. She ALWAYS had some kind of drink in her hand, and was usually weaving from side to side whether the ship was rocking or not.


On our last cruise, there was one middle-aged lady who looked like she had just stepped out of a fashion magazine from the 60's. She seemed to always be dressed just like Jackie O., so that's what we started calling her.


On our first cruise, we went with a large group of people that I worked with, and someone from our group was always the center of every party or contest. When we'd meet someone and tell them we are with a large group, they would say, "Ooohhh...THAT group." LOL!



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This was our first cruise, (Carnival, Ecstacy) on our last night at Sea, my dh and I where walking down the stairs, this couple came up to us and said, "Hey we are getting everybody and we mean everybody on the ship to meet us up on the 'top' deck at midnight and we are going to take the first every nude picture of as many people as we can and post it on the internet."

No you cannot find our picture anywhere out there, the next morning before we left the ship we saw them, my husband asked them how the "picture" turned out? They said, "you know, we cannot believe it, but only 1 other couple showed up"! They where shocked that nobody wanted to do this. :eek:

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  • 2 weeks later...

OK I can't resist I was on the Fanasty, going to the elevators (Glass Ones) to find my wife and her girlfriend who went for brownies and cokes for the rum. We had already been drinking:rolleyes: . Well as I approach the elevators it opens and there they are laughing hard. Well when they saw me they started laughing harder. My wife got out of the elevator but not Lucie. We just saw her shrinking to the floor holding 2 cokes and a plate of cookies, with new people getting on as the doors closed. You guessed it she wet her self right there on the elevator. When the elevator returned she was in the same position ( on the floor) laughing but the cokes made it! LOL:) If you could have seen the look on her face as the doors were shutting! Tears were comming out of her eyes she was laughing so hard. The other people on the elevator just shook there heads, another drunk one! P.S. She was in her late 30t's

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I was boarding a ship one time and was waiting in line. A few lines over a gal my age is waving to me, excited that she sees me. Not sure if she was waving to me, I just smile. As the lines move along, there came a point where she and her husband were closer. Now I know she was waving to me, because she shouts a bit over, "oh my gosh, how are you doing? I can not believe that you are sailing with us!" I respond, "Me neither! So how have you been?" The line starts moving, so I hollers over, "I will catch up with you later on board!" My friend asked who the gal was. I whispered I had no idea! I was responding that way because she looked familiar and she was waving frantically at me!


I concluded to my friend that "I must be getting older because I have no recollection who she was!" So, I began to think about my high school, my college, my bartending days, my previous and current places of employment, my relatives, and came up clueless.


I did not see the gal and her husband again until the sailaway party. My friend and I had a few drinks and my friend pointed them out as they walked by. So, I shouted "hello" and for them to "come over." I give the gal a hug and said it was great to see her again. She looked at me kinda funny at first but we engaged in small talk for about 5 minutes.


Finally, I confess to her that I had no idea where I knew her from and could she please tell me. She looked relieved, and told me that she did not know me from adam. She explained while in line she thought I was someone else. Once closer, she realized I was not who she thought! She was thinking she was crazy and getting older when I responded that I knew her and she did not know from where!


We had a good laugh and were relieved we were not losing our minds...



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Coka, I remember that day, we just kept laughing and laughing. That same cruise we had so many funny times.


I was on the NCL - Sky with my friends Cisco & Margaret. Now Cisco goes out of his way to try and embarrass you. The 3 of us were riding up on one of the elevators. There were 3 other individuals on this same elevator. A couple in there early 70’s and a man around 30. As you know...most of the time when you are on an elevator everyone is real quite. Cisco was standing in the very front of everyone, and when the elevator was almost to our floor…..Cisco turns to the older woman....looks at her…..and politely asked her if she was starring at his bottom…..The older woman took a deep breath and her husband started laugh so hard…..the husband turns to his wife and says……see I told you one of these days your going to get caught.



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Picture the scene...

...EOS, 11th floor, my wife and I arrive at the elevators.

Waiting at the first elevator are a Mum,Dad and 3 children, who, not to put too fine a point on it, look like they've spent their entire life living at McDonalds...

...and they always went large and they always had a giant shake.

Not wishing to make my wife feel too uncomfortable, we decided to wait for the second elevator.

As the first elevator arrived, and the doors opened, in waddled the Grizwald family. As soon as they pressed the `down` button, an alarm started ringing, and the doors jammed open, proclaiming to all in the vicinity...`Overload, Overload`

How embarrasing, because now they had no option but to squeeze themselves back out of the elevator, in full view of everyone...

...and, as they sheepishly headed towards the stairs, past a smiling crowd, Mother Grizwald, ever protecting her flock, uttered this line...


..."Do you know, these elevators just dont take into account how much a person is carrying in their bags!!!"


Yeah I thought...about 350 big macs! :D


Oh, how amusing real life can be. Had a smile on my face all day after that.

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I think, there were many people laughing about me....


It was my first cruise on MV Atalante. I was little bit over 20 and traveling with a very good looking friend. Every morning our steward ignored the do not disturb sign, knocked the door, didn´t wait and came in. So we want to stop that.


There was a specail kind of non working locker - but i had an idea. I closed the door and put the locker inside the keyring. Next morning - knocking, opening - stopping. BUT: When I looked at the key - it has a right angle now. I (thank god) unlock the door and tried to straighten the key - and one moment later the key was broken.


So we had to go to the concierge and had to confess what happend. Unfortunately - they don t have´a key replacement (ship was very old...). So they have to give us the master key....


We got a new key at the next port - and really everybody on the ship knows us - the two girls with the key...


We were told, that something like that never happened since maiden voyage...


Since this trip I am in contact with the girl from the guest relations...



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OMG, these stories are fantastic! I'm glad to hear my voyages aren't the only weird ones! It was about 8 years ago on a Carnival ship. My friend and I had been looking forward to a nice vacation and were anxious to meet some fun folks at our dinnertable. In we go to our assigned table....a round table....and it's full, except for our two chairs. These people seem to know eachother already. Okay, fine. It turns out they are travelling with a group called "Singles World". All are middle aged and over but all claim to be young at heart. Okie dokie. There was this one man who had to be 55 and looked like Gallagher the comic who smashes watermelons in his act. He always (and I mean ALWAYS) wore his "Singles World" yellow visor and CLIP-ON earrings! I guess he thought it made him seem cool....but clip-ons?????? My friend and I hated going to dinner each night because he always insisted on sitting by one of us, dominating the conversation and always took over the butter plate on his right (uh, dude.....you use the one on the left!). We tried and tried to have the maitre'D switch us, but it never happened. Unfortunately, having to sit with that oaf really turned us off to Carnival and we didn't sail on the line until last summer. I'm glad we tried again, because our Elation cruise in 07/04 was fantastic and our tablemates made it all the better!

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