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what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?


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15 year girls “just want to have fun” on a cruise, with college guys, oh no! "This is the 2nd Mate, do you have Mrs. Jones' sweet, defenseless daughter in your cabin?"-- Spring Break 1964


My parents had just arrived onboard the Costa "Carla C" in Nassau, Bahamas; it was Spring Break 1964. I was staying in Nassau at a wonderful guest house and had never taken a cruise before or been on a large ship of any type. Since their ship was in port for 2 days, they invited me to come aboard, see the ship, have dinner, and stay overnight to see what being on a cruise was like.


They had met 4 college-age guys. One of them, named "Bob", was offered a job at the bank and a place to stay while trying to cash a traveler’s check. He made a snap decision to take the job and "jumped ship" that same afternoon. (The manager just happened to overhear the guys talking about this guy being a recent business/finance graduate, or something and what was he going to do next.) This left an empty bed in a very cheap, bottom of the ship, under the waterline, cabin for 4-four, with 4 tall, steel, gym-type lockers instead of a closet, and I was invited to use it that night. (It looked very much like the awful cabin in the funny movie "Out to Sea"(1997). Jack Lemmon &Walter Matthau pretend to be "gentleman dance hosts" to find rich widows.)


Security was not as big an issue back in '64, so I went aboard with my parents, had a lovely dinner, and met the college guys. One of the college guys, "Jim", led me below to show me where the room was.


When we got there (wrong time and place), the other 2 guys were there and so was a "15 year old girl", I'll call her "Mary". Jim pulled me aside and told me that Mary was a "wild child, hell bent on having a good time without any of her parents restrictions. She had been sneaking away from her parents and hanging out with the college guys the whole cruise, because she wanted to have some wilder fun with older guys and get away from her boring parents. The parents had told the daughter to stay away from the college guys and also told the guys to leave her "underage" daughter alone.


Jim's account about Mary's mis-adventures with older guys was suddenly interrupted, because there was a loud knock at the door and, with an Italian accent, "This is the 2nd Mate, I'm here with Mrs. Jones, looking for her daughter."


Then, talking over the 2nd mate, and louder, in a New York accent, "Boys, this is Mary's mother, I know she's in there with you guys! Mary! Mary! Open the door this instant! Make them open the door immediately!"


As soon as they heard the 2nd mate’s words, there was a flurry of confused ******** as the guys tried to decide what to do, and/or where to hide Mary in the small cabin. It was a little like watching a French Farce. It was quickly decided to squeeze her into Bob's, now empty, locker. It may have been a little tight, but the 15 year old's small frame could make it. It was the 4th one, furthest from the cabin door.


When the guys opened the door, the 2nd mate was standing there in the doorway with Mrs. Jones trying to push past. He explained that he was there to assure Mrs. Jones that her daughter was not there. Mrs. Jones wasn’t buying any of it, and pushed through the door, past the 2nd mate, and started looking in the bathroom, under beds and the 2nd mate stopped her and told her to, "please stop!," and let him handle the situation.


Desperate, and impatient, Mrs. Jones said, “She must be in one of the lockers, open the lockers!" So the 2nd mate opened the first one; just clothes, no girl. We knew that the sh*t was about to hit the fan. He then tried to assure Mrs. Jones that her daughter wasn't in the room and that she would soon turn up. I got the impression that he was trying to be diplomatic and if the guys did know where the girl was, they could quietly get her back to mom and dad without a big scene.


Mrs. Jones demanded that the next locker be opened. So, the mate obliged and opened it to clothes and once again tried to persuade Mrs. Jones that her daughter wasn't here. More yelling, more demands, and threats. So, the mate opened up locker number 3. No girl in there.


This left locker number 4, where the girl was doing a great job of not moving a muscle and not making a single sound. She knew that the locker door might open any second due to her mother's insistent demands.


The 2nd mate was a cool head. He somehow convinced mom to leave the cabin with him because they would search other areas, since the daughter obviously wasn't here. This all took about 5-8 minutes, but felt like 20.


When they left, I told the guys to say good bye to Mary, get here out of the cabin and stay away from her. Even if nothing happened that she wanted to happen, she may create a very damaging story. I got out of the cabin to let them sort out how to deal with the situation. I didn’t want anything to do with it. Nothing more came of it that I ever heard about. Oh, those raging hormones. Parents use an anchor chain on those wild daughters who "just want to have fun". Guys, use a little common sense, if you have it.


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We were on the Imagination in the mid 90's and having a few drinks on the Lido deck at one of the tables on the pool deck. It was close to dinner time, so all of the chaise loungers had been picked up by the staff, so the pool deck was wide open except for the tables that always remain off to the side. It was Spring Break, so there were quite a few college students on board, and as we sat there, 3 young college men came from the rear of the ship. They all had drinks in their hand and were engaged in heavy conversation when WHAM! -The guy in the middle slams into the glass enclosure surroung the stairs coming up from the Promenade Deck. He dropped his drink while his friends busted up laughing. He decided to return to the bar where he got his drink and we invited his friends to sit with us while the glass dancer retrieved his new drink. After he left, I suggested that we move 2 tables up - closer to the glass enclosure and maybe we could throw off the slammer's perception and we could get a repeat performance. As he returned his friends played the part perfectly, chatting him up and taking his attention away, and lo and behold - WHAM AGAIN - at least twice as hard. The drink went flying and this time he stumbled back and fell on his butt. Everyone was in stitches, but we nearly passed out from laughter when he uttered "This f***ing ship blows". Still can't help smiling when I think of that.


Those glass enclosures are now smoked glass - so apparently it was a common problem. Good times though!

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They are all SO funny!


My dh's grandfather paid for a family reunion onboard the Viking Serenade back in 94. There were 24 of us, their children and spouses, and only two grandkids were married. So, my dh and I, and my bil/sil were next door to each other. Well, someone(not someone from our party) let loose a liferaft as a practical joke. So, the captain announced we were slowing down so they could retrieve it. They sent out another boat/tender thing to go get it. Well, we went back to our cabin after we got bored watching them try to get it. Dh and I got into the mood and you know you're out to sea, right? No one can see you? Well, all of a sudden there's a slam against our ouside window and it was the guys coming up from the water. We had no idea the boat was released right above out cabin. So, we think they got an eyefull, killed the moment and we got ready for dinner. While we were eating at dinner my sil/bil told us the same thing happened to them! LOL I just about spit my food out.


One our last cruise we went with the same bil/sil because we had so much fun with them. We were on the Elation and we were in Mazatlan. We had gotten back on board and were people watching all the drunks coming back. they were jumping off the trolley, rolling, staggering, it's pretty entertaining. We were watching one guy we didn't think was going to make it to the boat. He'd stop and steady himself and start walking again, stop again, steady, and walk. All of a sudden he decided to make a dash and puked all over himself without even stopping several times. We found out later that the medical emergency we experienced that caused us to port in Cabo earlier than expected was that there were several drunks that needed hospitalizing and they got to port as early as possible. We had some officers come over to the railing where we were standing and we overheard them talking, "She's so fired." Pretty soon we see a cute little young thing on the back of a motorcycle with shopping bags in hand. The ship was already pulling out and she throws her bags up in the air and starts screaming and crying. You see a car pull up with CCL uniforms on and talk to her. I asked one of the guys if she's really fired. He said she was and that was the CCL staff that will get her back home. They'll ship her things when they get back to L.A. LOL

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It's funny how certain people get labels during a cruise....we always laughed whenever we saw "Grandma." She was an older lady, probably 70 or so, who seemed to be traveling alone. She ALWAYS had some kind of drink in her hand, and was usually weaving from side to side whether the ship was rocking or not.


On our last cruise, there was one middle-aged lady who looked like she had just stepped out of a fashion magazine from the 60's. She seemed to always be dressed just like Jackie O., so that's what we started calling her....LOL!



My wife and I were on a cruise and after about 3 nights we started realizing that one of the single women (about 28-33yrs?) seemed awfully friendly and was wearing a different colored, large "feather boa" each evening. One morning (11am) she seemed awfully friendly. She knew I was married , but she invited to me her cabin to see the beautiful new boa she had bought in port and was going to wear that night. I said, " thanks, but I'm busy, I'm married, and have to be somewhere; I'll see the new boa tonight."

Next day, I was on a shore excursion and a couple guys were talking about the boa lady. The guys confided to me that the reason she seemed so friendly was because she was "hitting-on" all the single and married guys, trying to confirm the love boat stories. Or practice her flirting techniques. She was sooo available, to sooo many, that word spread and she probably ended up without any action as guys fled when they saw her, the boa lady. Maybe this was her mating season and she was trying to put a few notches in her boa.


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It was formal night on the Pride.We were sitting on the upper dining deck

watching people on the lower level arrive,when in walked the kind of woman

you love to hate.Tall,shapely,shimmering white gown that she appeared to

have been poured in to.She glided into the room glancing from side to side

making sure everyone noticed her entrance.

She should have been watching where she was going.She walked face first

into one of the upper deck support beams hard enough to bounce back half

a step.Several people snickered,and she spent the rest of the evening

staring down at her plate,trying very hard not to be noticed.

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When my DH and I were on the Carnival Destiny, we came across another couple about our age (late 20s) at the port in Martinique. We decided to go to a hotel beach as a group and enjoy our day. The beach was 'tops optional', so myself and the other girl went topless. All of a sudden, her boyfriend decides that he is going to take off his swim trunks!:confused: :eek: A man from the hotel comes running over yelling, 'no monsieur, no monsieur," as he motioned for him to put his shorts back on. We couldn't believe that he took them off.


After that, we decided not to 'hang' with them anymore if they came around again. He was a little 'geeky' and strange in a wierd way.


Later in Aruba, we came across the same couple (we came across them all of the time it seemed after Martinique). We were on a scuba excursion with another group from our dinner table. There were a ton of us gearing up. We were on the same side of the group as the 'geeky guy'.


Later at dinner, our 'table-mates' said that while they were listening to the guide, she looked over in our direction and said there was this guy standing there with one leg up on the bench and you could see his 'family jewels' hanging out of his shorts. :eek: After about a minute or so, he hurried and 'regrouped'. We laughed when we realized it was the same guy in Martinique.


He was real nerdy. On the way back from diving, his girlfriend was mad at him for losing their one and only underwater camera, which had all of their water/beach photos from the whole trip.

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SETTING: My sister and I were on Adventure in Aug 2003 (sweltering heat), Early seating, Balcony Room.


So we are frantically showering, drying, cooling and trying to get ready for dinner and in various stages of undress.


Wait... in the distance I hear an ice cream bell. Huh... yum, Ice cream... it sure is hot.... sounds like its getting closer...


Of course we are facing open water so the balcony door and drapes are open as they are supposed to be!?


Next.... screams, laughing, clothes flying as the not so ice cream bus comes sliding by. Before sprinting for cover I think I glimpsed a smile on the drivers face!


God only knows what those window washers saw or have seen:)


I still laugh when I think about that!

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in 1997 i and my sister in law and 2 ladies from work went on a cruise on carnival fantasy ....we were dressed for the fromal nite and were on our way to dinner when we decided it was a good idea to use the bathroom before dinner cause it takes so long .....we all went in and came out and started for the dining room when this man form the ship came running after us (he was an officer white uniform) he was hurring and saying "oh miss oh miss " we all turned around but didnt think he was talking to us and continued to walk and he is still coming after us "oh miss oh miss " well i turned around an pointed to my chest and and he shook his head and pointed to my sister in law and i looked and she had tucked her skirt in her panthose in the back and was mooning every one ( no undies under her panty hose).....of course she was mortified but we all still remember and every now and then when we are at work we look at her and go oh miss oh miss




1995 majesty of seas

1997 fantsy of seas

2003 costa atlantica

2003 ledgend of seas

2004 vouyager of sea

2005 elation of seas


and hawii next year

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One cruise my hubby and I took years ago before children came along was quite funny. We were just running up the stairs to get to the top of the ship.

My husband who was quite a bit ahead of me got there first. By the time I got to the top, he was laughing his head off. He said as soon as he reached the top there was this lady standing at the railing just passing gas like crazy. He said the noise was loud. ( sorry to be so gross ) She thought she was alone and realized someone was behind her. He said her face turned to shear embarrassement. He said there was a card room just off that area she was standing in. I guess she thought she could go out there and blow off some wind without anyone knowing about it.

Just when you think you are alone, you are not.

After he told me what happened we just laughed and laughed.

He said she was wearing koulots and then we joked about that all evening long.

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My friends and I still talk about this trip to this day. Many stories, but here's our favorite. The Pride was running Saturday sailings from Port Canaveral at the time, and the second day out we stopped at Half Moon Cay. Like most private island stops, you have to tender ashore...so we're waiting our turn to disembark. As we're standing there, a member of the cruise staff begins to pass down the line, and we hear her ask in a delightful but slightly weary Aussie accent, "Is there anybody here who's missing a crazy guy on crutches?" Puzzled, we look at each other and wonder what's up. The line advances, and then we see the source of her inquiry: there is indeed a gentleman on crutches standing just inside the tender station, very loudly and repeatedly demanding to see the captain immediately. We agreed amongst ourselves that whoever was missing him probably didn't claim him right away. :p

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I was traveling with my 78-yr-old mother on Splendour of the Seas in '98 to the Caribbean. Everywhere except dining room, a 40-ish man, thankfully good physique, wore nothing but a black thong (and I don't mean footwear):eek: and a black leather hat. Wouldn't have been so noticeable except that he must have had polio or something when he was younger, because his walk/limp was quite pronounced. He even won the male sexy leg contest!!!

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ON one of the top decks on the Jubilee for Topless tanning... in the corner there was a couple really going at it... having sex in public.... no one wanted to say anything... it was really shocking..




and up until now all the stories have been very very funny...




:eek: i cant belive no one said anything

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Picture the scene...

...EOS, 11th floor, my wife and I arrive at the elevators.

Waiting at the first elevator are a Mum,Dad and 3 children, who, not to put too fine a point on it, look like they've spent their entire life living at McDonalds...

...and they always went large and they always had a giant shake.

Not wishing to make my wife feel too uncomfortable, we decided to wait for the second elevator.

As the first elevator arrived, and the doors opened, in waddled the Grizwald family. As soon as they pressed the `down` button, an alarm started ringing, and the doors jammed open, proclaiming to all in the vicinity...`Overload, Overload`

How embarrasing, because now they had no option but to squeeze themselves back out of the elevator, in full view of everyone...

...and, as they sheepishly headed towards the stairs, past a smiling crowd, Mother Grizwald, ever protecting her flock, uttered this line...


..."Do you know, these elevators just dont take into account how much a person is carrying in their bags!!!"


Yeah I thought...about 350 big macs! :D


Oh, how amusing real life can be. Had a smile on my face all day after that.


That is not funny. It is tragic. And you are cruel for laughing about it.

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DW and I were on the Conquest last August. A man and wife, 30ish, were walking along the deck towards us. The woman had on a knee length skirt. The wind was whipping around pretty good. All of a sudden, her skirt was up around her neck and she had on.....................NOTHING underneath. She struggled with her skirt until the wind finally gave her a break. I think I was more embarrassed than she was.

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...so I was walking down to the restaurant with my stuffed bird on the shoulder of my life jacket, trying to keep my Burger King crown on with one hand, when this wig comes at my face from nowhere....:D


OMG, this just put me into a coughing fit.

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Can't compare but here goes. Husband and I on Rhapsody in Nov.03 with mother and father in law. Had a super cruise director that charmed us all. Never at a loss for words. Well we went to game they call " Dating Game" or something like that. 3 couples - one newlywed, one married @ 12 years and older couple celebrating 50 yrs. Mens turn to leave and questions are asked of wives. One question is "Where is the most unusual place you have had sex?" Honeymooner wife said "On the back of an ATV." Older couple wife said " In the back of a car on the side of the road" (Pretty funny) then 12 yr. wife said "In an elevator" The husbands come back and no one gets it right until the 12 yr. husband says " In an elevator" Lots of clapping. Then the cruise director asks where is the elevator? The wife looks sheepish - the husband gives a little cough. Again the cruise director asks where is the elevator? Then I think the husband said " the one in the lobby - you know the glass one !!!!! Silence then everyone erupts into hysterical laughter.....but the cruise director has nothing to say....he is speechless. Anyway, they were the elevator couple from then on. Keep em coming, I will check this thread often.....

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Then the cruise director asks where is the elevator? The wife looks sheepish - the husband gives a little cough. Again the cruise director asks where is the elevator? Then I think the husband said " the one in the lobby - you know the glass one !!!!! Silence then everyone erupts into hysterical laughter.....but the cruise director has nothing to say....he is speechless. Anyway, they were the elevator couple from then on. Keep em coming, I will check this thread often.....


That was a pretty good one...although I'm trying to picture how quick that would have been. LOL

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A couple of years ago my dh and I were on the Grand Princess. I went out onto the balcony and accidentally locked myself out. I pulled the handle down rather than keeping it horizontal. My dh thought he was funny and was making faces at me from inside until I demanded in my best first grade teacher ..."Stop being funny and let me in!" Well two days later a couple stopped me in the corridor and said they were in the cabin next door. They laughed and said that they had found it funny when I had gotten locked out. I laughed with them and started to walk away. Well, they quickly stopped me and shared what had happened to them the night followind my lock out. It was formal night and they had gotten dressed, ordered cocktails, and gone out onto the balcony to enjoy the sunset. When they tried to go back inside they realized that they had in fact locked themselves out. They shared that they yelled and screamed for over two hours till someone on a lower deck heard them and got security. They had put the deadbolt on the door and the door had to be taken off the hinges! Well we had a good laugh about the incident and ended up having drinks with the couple.

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Me having a "blonde" moment - showing up in the dining room at our table for 10 with the t.v. remote control in my hand:o, guess I got distracted on the way out of the cabin.

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