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brooklynfc

Cruising to Healthy

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I believe in honesty, mainly b/c if I’m honest with strangers I suppose that I have to be honest with myself. Sooo…

I’m 25 years old, 5’7 and I weight 345lbs. Yep, sure do, no lie.

So here is the deal. I’ve been gaining weight since I was in the 3rd grade. Slowly I’d add on the lbs year by year. My mom tried her best to stop the bad habits, but that just led to me sneaking food and obviously rebelling as a teenager. In high school I lost 40lbs on Atkins….gained it back…In college I lost 40lbs on Weight Watchers…gained it back and then some. Then the late night paper writing and pizza eating and other bad habits along with not exercise and afternoon naps led to even more weight. Got out of college and got a job and started WW again and lost 30lbs…..gained it back and then some again. So I was going to go with the only option I thought I had left, Lapband. Unfortunately, I got laid off my job and lost the insurance. My new job doesn’t cover it although I feel lucky to have a job and health insurance after going 8 months without either.

I recently went on a cruise with my friend (skinny girl) and just got a wake-up call. Though my friend is very supportive and we met another girl (plus size, not nearly my size tho) that made me feel better about myself….It hit me in my face. I couldn’t walk as far, my friend was constantly asking me if “I was okay?”, I couldn’t do half of the excursions even listed b/c they had weight limits or ability limits and of course I felt like the world was staring at me when I had my bathing suit on. So as not to forget, God sent me a reminder when I got home. My friend had taken a video on my camera of me dancing…..Okay, this is one of those moments I should have had about 100lbs ago. I used to pride myself on having curves. I don’t mind curves or being plus size. I think being a zero is ridiculous. I want some meat on my bones, but I’m in the far too extreme of that where it stops being attractive and more morbid. I watched that video and saw a girl who had no figure at all anymore. I was literally just “round.” I felt like that girl from Willy Wonka when she ate that gum and blew up like a blueberry. It’s sad when you look down and see your belly before your boobs.

Bottom line this time, I got one more chance to lose this weight through hard work and lifestyle changes. After this I’m going to take out a loan or save the money or borrow it and have the Lapband anyway. I’m not living some of the best years of my life in poor quality just b/c I can’t keep food out of my mouth.

I plan on cruising again in April 2010. My goal is to get to 300lbs by then. Not much of a diff., but hopefully I can do it.

I thought confessing my honest feelings and responses to myself and what I’ve done to myself would help move me forward. Saying stuff like that to people you know evokes sympathy and pity. Why should I have pity or sympathy when I did this to myself knowingly and willingly? But they say confession is good for the soul, so maybe this is good for me.

300 by 2010 is the goal if anyone wants to join in.

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I'm glad you shared your story. And I wish you the best of luck in losing the weight! Your 20's are some of the best years of your life. I regret that I let myself go for the majority of those years. I always gave up on everything (diet, etc) when I didn't see immediate results. I finally hit rock bottom and had to force myself to realize I can change this, and it's my own fault. IT IS SO HARD!! Some people just say "just eat better and exercise!" that's so much easier said than done when food is more to you than nutrition. I still have a hard time with it. The hardest thing for me is that I didn't have anyone around to help/motivate me. So I would just give up and have those chips and queso with them....I could go on and on! Best of luck to you. I like your idea of setting small goals. Reach them one at a time, and reward yourself for reaching them. That's what helped me...doing the small goals. Do you ever watch Biggest Loser? One thing Kristen said last season has stuck with me..."I am WORTH IT!" Do it for yourself girl...and don't let anyone/anything hold you back. But also realize you will stumble, that is inevitable. I used to beat myself up over it...and almost give up again. Just have to smack myself around and tell myself to get up, get over it, and keep going :)

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If you can get some weight off now you'll probably reduce the chances of knee problems later let alone a lot of other health/weight related porblems; sugar, heart and the most obvious, a shorter life expectancy... good luck!

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Thanks to both of you. I'm counting on myself to make the right decisions. But I possibly might put some motivating pics in my wallet, so that when I open my wallet to pay for that fast food or whatever I will stop and think.

 

I'm aware of the health problems. I'm at high risk b/c of my weight, but my family history is full of weight related problems and I'm dangerously putting my life at risk by taunting these diseases by being reckless with my own life.

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I admire your courage and determination. It does take a lot of guts to face somethign painful like your weight.

 

My only advice: spend the money that you use for the lapband and instead go to a hospital based university clinic that deals in weight loss as a specialty area. When someone is that young, at such a drastic weight, the issues are often rooted in some other things that have to do with emotinal well being. I only suggest this as in my career (neuropsych) I am often asked to do testing for candidates for lapband surgery, and sometimes lapband isn't the answer for that person in terms of long term success. There's other reasons why you are overeating and that large for your age. it's more than just changing your eating habits.

 

My opinion, only.:)

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Someone like me!! I am 238 lbs and I am 25 at 5' 4", People tell me I dont show my weight well but when I looked at myself from our photos in 2007 cruise aboard the mariner I was appalled. I hate seeing what I looked like. I am currently working out 5-6 days a week for 2 hours mostly cardio. I have to really push myself to get the gym but once I am there I listen to music because like you I love to dance, So I keep thinking while listening to music how much better I will look and feel dancing on our next cruise also in April 2010!!! Find something to keep yourself motivated to work out and eat better. I like the picture idea. Is it a picture of what you want to look like or a photo of what you look like now? Maybe even putting that on the fridge for when you want that late night snack of something yummy in that fridge?

 

I am struggling currently with my weight as I have 3 months of this work out going and I havent changed weight yet, but my measurments are down. So if you hit that bump in the road remember to read some of the stories here they really help! Keep us updated I am extremely intrested in you and how your doing.

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I admire your courage and determination. It does take a lot of guts to face somethign painful like your weight.

 

My only advice: spend the money that you use for the lapband and instead go to a hospital based university clinic that deals in weight loss as a specialty area. When someone is that young, at such a drastic weight, the issues are often rooted in some other things that have to do with emotinal well being. I only suggest this as in my career (neuropsych) I am often asked to do testing for candidates for lapband surgery, and sometimes lapband isn't the answer for that person in terms of long term success. There's other reasons why you are overeating and that large for your age. it's more than just changing your eating habits.

 

My opinion, only.:)

 

I've thought of seeking help for the emotional part of the weight gain, but I kept thinking it was just a excuse not an issue. Maybe I will reconsider.

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Someone like me!! I am 238 lbs and I am 25 at 5' 4", People tell me I dont show my weight well but when I looked at myself from our photos in 2007 cruise aboard the mariner I was appalled. I hate seeing what I looked like. I am currently working out 5-6 days a week for 2 hours mostly cardio. I have to really push myself to get the gym but once I am there I listen to music because like you I love to dance, So I keep thinking while listening to music how much better I will look and feel dancing on our next cruise also in April 2010!!! Find something to keep yourself motivated to work out and eat better. I like the picture idea. Is it a picture of what you want to look like or a photo of what you look like now? Maybe even putting that on the fridge for when you want that late night snack of something yummy in that fridge?

 

I am struggling currently with my weight as I have 3 months of this work out going and I havent changed weight yet, but my measurments are down. So if you hit that bump in the road remember to read some of the stories here they really help! Keep us updated I am extremely intrested in you and how your doing.

 

Its always nice to find someone you have things in common with especially when its something you need support for.

 

I love music too. I have a workout playlist on my Ipod with songs that motivate me. I either listen to music or watch movies on Netflix to keep my mind off the fact that I'm doing exercise.

 

It would be a bad pic...I just think that is a major motivator, but maybe I'll add some words of encouragement at the bottom.

 

I'll def keep thinks up-to-date if you do........

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It would be a bad pic...I just think that is a major motivator, but maybe I'll add some words of encouragement at the bottom.

 

Thats a good idea. I might have to do that too. and of course I will update!!! I was just reading another post about doing a "walk to your ship" if I do that its 1464 miles from where I live, or 5 miles everyday... that might be a bit too much for me atm. Maybe ride a bike to a ship lmao. We will see.

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Brooke is my name...that is so funny...the friend I just did this last cruise with name was Nicole.

 

The bike to your ship thing is cool. I'd have no idea how to do the math on that tho. I'm math challenged. I hate word problems.

 

I have a recumbant bike in my room so that I have to look at it every day and it makes it really hard not to get on it.

 

 

OH, Nice to meet you Nicole.

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We (my new friend Satha that I met on the last cruise) are planning on going on Carnival's Liberty. We haven't put down the deposit yet, but we plan to by the end of June.

 

I so want to go on the Oasis just to see such a massive ship, but their prices are just too high for me right now. Maybe when I get a raise or a promotion.

 

You will def. have to let me know how awesome the ship is.

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I sure will I am going to school for photography so I take a TON of pictures. So you can see for yourself. I am soooo intrested about the food on the ship which is part of why I want to lose some weight. I want to not feel guilty or bad that I am eating, especially with family and friends coming along you know :) I really do love eating, I love cooking, I love everything about fine foods but I can enjoy these wonderful tingles for my pallet when I am worrying about how I look.

 

That and my last cruise I never even went in the water once because I wasnt comfortable in a bathing suit. I went to the Caribbean and didnt go in the water!!! WHO DOES THAT!?! lol well atleast I can laugh at myself for it now but I kinda regret it. This time I want to go snorkling or something like that, I also know what you mean about weight limits. When we were picking our Mariner cruise I wanted to go to Belize to go horseback riding in the ocean.... well come to find out last minute that the weight limit is 200 lbs. My fiance could go but I couldnt. So we changed our port of calls to another ship that had activities I could do too. We did Tulum but MAN was I ever tired. I didnt think I would even make it. There was about a mile walk to the damn ruins and it was super hot and humid and stupid us didnt bring enough water for two people. We didnt think anything of that. Next time we are going to be more prepared with water.

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The whole month before this last cruise I was so excited about the food. I said to myself, "Typical fat girl: excited about the food." But honestly, I actually lost 5lbs on this last cruise. Even though I had food available 247 and as much as I wanted I was just too busy doing stuff and then the walking and dancing at night. But I get excited about the food b/c I just don't eat things like filet Mignon at home, so its special for me.

 

Photography, that's fun! I'm not a photog, but I like to take pics so I'm looking to upgrade to a DSLR in the next year. My camera just didn't do the Caribbean justice.

 

I was a theatre major in undergrad and then I got my masters in Humanities.

 

I know what you mean about the bathing suit. I bought a brand new one piece for the last cruise and I really liked it and if its just me trying it on in my bedroom I was fine with it, but getting in it on deck or on the beaches was hard. I wore gauchos over it on deck with a cover up, lol. If it hadn't been for my friends I probably would have never worn it and wasted $40 bucks. But they were really supportive, so I did actually where it on the beach in Saint Thomas and then in Tortola I wore it and got in the water.

 

Don't get me started on the excursions. I so wanted to go horseback riding b/c I used to do it when I was younger, but the limits hit me hard too. I was so upset. I mean I couldn't even do those Segway tours and I figure they were made for ppl who can't walk alot! My friend wanted to do the canopy tour and I told her I couldn't, but to not feel bad that I would just go to the spa that day.

 

This is going to be so tough....we had pizza last night, but I tried to even it out by doing my 30 mins on the bike. I just keep thinking about that image in my head (until I can print it out) and hopefully I'll get better a day at a time.

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Yeah losing on the cruise isnt too hard if your doing alot like dancing and walking. Did you ever use the gym on the boat? I did one day and it hurt my head to do it the motion of the boat moving and seeing the water then trying to walk on the treadmill didnt work out for me. I am hoping the next trip I will use the other equipment better. I have more knowledge of how it all works now. I go to a YMCA and the staff there is pretty good about teaching you. However I have issues with eating at home. I am trying smaller portions and healther foods. Atleast I am away from the fast food and chips and snacks now. But occassionally I like the convience of pizza. I usually try to get my pizza with chicken on it so atleast I have some form or protien coming in. I notice that when I eat more protien I tend to loose a pound or two that day but its always back within the week. I am looking into protien whey powder so I can make a shake or something. PLUS I work at Starbucks and its sooooo hard to avoid drinking all the high calorie drinks that I love. We just changed pastry companies and I dont care for the new ones that much so that helps in that department.

 

Theatre is fun that was my major back before when I went to school then I dropped out. I am just going back this year. Did you like to act or backstage?

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Yeah losing on the cruise isnt too hard if your doing alot like dancing and walking. Did you ever use the gym on the boat? I did one day and it hurt my head to do it the motion of the boat moving and seeing the water then trying to walk on the treadmill didnt work out for me. I am hoping the next trip I will use the other equipment better. I have more knowledge of how it all works now. I go to a YMCA and the staff there is pretty good about teaching you. However I have issues with eating at home. I am trying smaller portions and healther foods. Atleast I am away from the fast food and chips and snacks now. But occassionally I like the convience of pizza. I usually try to get my pizza with chicken on it so atleast I have some form or protien coming in. I notice that when I eat more protien I tend to loose a pound or two that day but its always back within the week. I am looking into protien whey powder so I can make a shake or something. PLUS I work at Starbucks and its sooooo hard to avoid drinking all the high calorie drinks that I love. We just changed pastry companies and I dont care for the new ones that much so that helps in that department.

 

Theatre is fun that was my major back before when I went to school then I dropped out. I am just going back this year. Did you like to act or backstage?

 

Haha, the only time I made it to the gym was for the spa drawings. Our boat hit rough seas for the first two days. I was hard enough to walk, much less exercise. Although we did do the 60's dance lessons in the atrium and that was fun and difficult with the ship rocking.

I was a member of the Y, but money started getting tight and that $37 a month was needed for bills. But that's why i went out and bought the bike (on sale) and we have a treadmill. I have a WW workout tape, but my chiro doesn't want me to do high impact exercises until I lose about 40/50lbs b/c of my back.

 

Pizza is a weakness, but it has to be a certain kind of pizza. I'm not really a fan of main stream pizza like Pizza Hut or Papa Johns. I like the frozen tombstones or the Hunt Brothers. So I think that its good I can say no to some pizza. Fast food is hard though. I work on a college campus and we have a subway, so If I don't pack my lunch I try to walk over there and grab something healthier than the DQ down the road. But that's all the fast food in driving distance for my lunch hour, so that's lucky too. I have too eat a lot of protein too b/c my Dr. seems to think I'm borderline Hypoglcemic (sp), so to keep that in check I have to make sure I eat lots of chicken and turkey. I'm thinking about cutting beef out for a month and see if that helps me lose. I've pretty much cut it out anyway (My dad hunts so we have deer to eat and my mom replaces a lot of beef dishes with deer to save money and its healthier.)

 

If you find a good low cal protien shake mix, let me know. I've tried a few on some diets and I like to make them with ice in the morning and have a banana and a piece of toast. I really want to start making a grocery list (if you haven't noticed I still live at home right now), so I can have some planned meals for the week, so I don't end up eating bad things b/c they were the only thing there or the most convienant.

 

I don't know what you're doing as far as technique, but I'm really just counting my calories and exercising. I use this website called sparkpeople.com to log my food and exercise. Its awesome b/c it is totally free. You can even put in your current weight and how much you want to lose and at what rate (like a lb a week) and will give you a goal date, then give you the range of calories to meet that goal and how much exercise you need to do. It has videos of exercises and demos. Message boards (I don't use those) reciepes. Its pretty cool If you want to check it out.

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That website sounds neat. I will check that out later.

 

Living at home can be a killer because you feel the need to eat what someone else has prepared. Its harder mom is there with her awesome homebaked yummies. Vension is much better and its good!!! I wouldnt pass that up myself :) But making your own grocery list does help atleast for those lunches. I would suggest to go to your local bookstore and check out some of the cookbooks that are for lower calories and cholesterol. I have one my the American Heart Insitute that has some good recipes. Even thought they are for 4-6 people you can make them then save the leftovers for lunch the next day. My husband to be is a picky eater, so I pretty much make him his hotdogs or hamburgers and then I prepare my own meal seperately. I wasnt really like this before last year I live with my folks before we bought our own house. So learning to cook and be healthy has only started in my life. I make sure now I always eat a vegetable and a fruit with every meal. The cookbooks helps and I love to watch food network, even if I dont get to eat it just watching them make it curbs my appetite for food sometimes.

 

I am going to mix the whey potein powder with carnation instant breakfast. Those pretty much fill me up in the mornings.

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Yea, being home is killer. If I wasn't so frugal I would probably move out, but I like the money I save and the student loans I can afford to pay.

 

Mom is pretty good about trying to help me eat better, but my dad likes snack cakes and chips and things (He has a physical job and is always doing stuff, so he works it all off.) If the temptations weren't there I know I'd do better, but life is full of them, so I just have to learn to say no.

 

I have def. been cooking my own meals lately. The other night they had hot dogs and I used Bird's eye steamed Asian veggies and cooked some chicken and made stir fry. I could eat the whole bag of veggies for about 100 calories and then then the chicken for about 140, but I didn't. I saved some for lunch the next day. I have a weight watchers cookbook, but sometimes my patients runs out for cooking meals. I need like a cookbook for 10-20 min recipes.

 

I like your pics from the Mariner. That ship looks huge, so I can't imagine what the Oasis will be like. You'll probably get plenty of exercise walking around that thing.

 

BTW, you looked really cute with your Fiance'!

 

I have my pics from the cruise on Facebook, I don't have the patients (again) to upload them on other sites, lol.

 

Here's a pic of me, so you can point a face with the typing.

 

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30587438&l=9bee6f2ae4&id=62700819

Edited by brooklynfc

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Thanks! Thats Jeff in the photos with me :D I added you as my friend on facebook. I love that site! Your very pretty I love your glasses and how you look in lipstick I can never pull that look off!!!

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Brooklynfc...I am in the same boat as you. ;)

 

I am 24 years old, living at home and my weight..higher then yours!

 

I have the same feelings, same everything you have mentioned. I am promising myself to get my surgery done before I turn 25 (january) so then I can go on my next cruise hopefully by then. We are planning a huge family cruise..

 

Anyway does this site have private messaging? Not sure if I can give out my email too you..but I would like too keep in contact with you and others who are in the same boat...I think it would be really encouraging. :)

 

Thanks for sharing your story..I'll check back. ;)

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Added you back. Thanks, the glasses are a staple now. I wore contacts for five years and then, the best to describe it, is that my eyes kinda became allergic to them. So I thought if I was going to wear glasses might as well make a statement. I get called naughty librarian all the time.

 

OMG, that lipstick. Its Revlon's color stay lip gloss. Let me tell you it DEF. stays on to the point you can't get it off! I tried just water, then soap, then face scrub....it just had to wear off the rest of the way. I went with the Bath and body works colored/flavored glass after that.

 

It's funny you say that b/c my mom always said that I had no lips. They were too thin. The only thin thing about me, lol.

 

I peeked at your photography...you have a great eye. I've always liked the kinda of pictures that look like they come from a magazine. I told my mom that if or when I get married that I didn't care how much it cost that I wanted a photographer who could do shots like in the magazines. I can't wait to get a new camera, so this next cruise my pictures will turn out better. I bet you have a professional one. I'm not ready for something that intense, but I was looking at the Canon EOS as a good starter.

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Brooklynfc...I am in the same boat as you. ;)

 

I am 24 years old, living at home and my weight..higher then yours!

 

I have the same feelings, same everything you have mentioned. I am promising myself to get my surgery done before I turn 25 (january) so then I can go on my next cruise hopefully by then. We are planning a huge family cruise..

 

Anyway does this site have private messaging? Not sure if I can give out my email too you..but I would like too keep in contact with you and others who are in the same boat...I think it would be really encouraging. :)

 

Thanks for sharing your story..I'll check back. ;)

 

 

I'm glad I shared too b/c I don't feel so alone in my struggle now. So many days I look around and see people living healthy happy lives and just wish I could be more like them. I feel like a minority in a world full of skinny people. But I guess skinny doesn't translate to healthy and healthy is all I want to be.

 

If you have facebook you can add me. I don't think they have private messages.

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Thanks for your nice comments about my photography! Yeah my wedding in next year and I just had to have this one photographer I LOVE LOVE LOVE her work.

http://hbtphoto.com/ Thats her website. She is my idol in photography! I tend to shoot a bit like her actually. We spent alot for what we wanted but its worth it for your wedding. A canon EOS is a good start I have a Rebel XTI. Jeff has a little canon point and shoot digital camera thats nice too.

 

Welcome to the channel Jesscap5 I dont know how you private message either but I think me and Brooke are good friends pretty much now :P So we will probably keep the thread going for a while. I have facebook as well.

 

If we want to talk health stuff I havent been that good today eating some chips to settle mother nature problems, and no gym. Its days like these that I can fathom going to the gym : / Maybe I will work out here at home tonight. I have a Bender ball that thing works amazingly well actually. Its about a 30 minute work out but with videos I dont feel like I work out for that long since they take so long to talk about how to do the exercise and how to breathe! Get on with it already lady who is skinnier then should be, I want to finish exercising this century!

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