HookedOnSeaDays

OH, I have another funny tidbit. We were dining at a table next to a very sweet but extremely elderly couple who were both hard of hearing. It was formal night, and as dinner went on the batteries in their hearing aids seemed to be dying quickly. We already knew the routine since this happened every night. By the time we began to order dessert, they were just all out shouting at each other in order to be heard. I will never forget this tidbit of conversation which occured as I plunged my spoon into my chocolate mousse: "LYDIA TOLD HER NOT TO GET HER GROIN WAXED, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS BUT SHE DIDN'T LISTEN AND WAS ITCHING HORRIBLY FOR THREE WEEKS AFTERWARD.":eek:

I almost choked, and the waiters and other passengers nearby were falling over each other laughing.

The funniest thing I ever witnessed was an older, kindly-looking gentleman who was a plein-air painter (fancy word for "paints outdoors"). He was painting on the sunning area all the way forward, on a blustery day. Everyone was joking about him because he was on his little stool and holding on for dear life, but still painting like mad, and everyone wondered why in the world he didn't move midship and to a less windy spot, or indoors. Every once in a while he had to chase a pot of paint that had fallen off, or something, and twice he almost fell off his stool.

Eventually our curiosity and admiration got to be too much, and about 8 of us braved the weather and crept up behind him to see exactly what he was painting. We were expecting some fabulous nautical landscape, sailboats, fish, something along those lines...but when we came up behind him and saw the canvas at last there was just shocked silence :eek: - let's just say the painting was extremely, extremely x-rated. And that's an understatement.

No wonder he was so far away from everyone! So we stumbled off, speechless and as bright red as he was, and when we got out of earshot we literally laughed for hours. For the rest of the cruise that poor guy would blush and dart around corners or behind doors anytime he saw us. And for the rest of the 11 days we never saw him painting again.