happyscot

I will keep Happyscot informed so that he can critique the outfit! Should make for some entertaining reading! :rolleyes:

 

Bettie

Michty, it's Bettie! Crivvens, fit ur ye deain' this side o' furst classie? Mind noo, thur's a black laddie in a skirt oana rampage!!! Awa back tae Cunard the noo, afore ye get scunnered.

Translation:

Goodness gracious, is that Elizabeth? Have you accidentally wandered to the wrong end of the site? Do take care, some bloke wants to wear traditional highland dress. Do please return safely to the Cunard board, lest your patience with our uncouth ways begins to draw upon your reserves of patience.

:p Wayhey Happy Scot is back !!

 

Guid tae see yi loon.;) an howz yir bidee in daen

 

CP if you think that post was funny - you should have read the post he started last year - pish yir drarrz stuff it wiz :D

Mun, she's grand. She hus a chest oan hur lik the Grampians, an a rear ye'd dee fur. Ah'm fair pleased wi ma'seel.

Errrrrm....military what now?

Traditionally, a short dagger (skean dhu, sorry, can't spell it) is worn inside the sock with an ornamental hilt sticking out. Forget that on a plane or cruise ship - you'll spend the first night having your cavities searched by an Alsation and two US Marines (I make no judgement if you happen to enjoy that sort of thing). :D You can get a fake one. Dagger, that is.

That's it. No more. Don't get carried away. You're doing well so far.

A nice touch, which would look fab on a black guy, would be a Jacobean shirt - an open-necked shirt, very popular at Scottish weddings now, like what they actually wore then (ties weren't too big in the 17th century). It's round necked, with string bits hanging off, mucho macho, especially if you have a chest oxen could hide in like what I have. (I refer to hair, not muscles).

Nice!:D

 

 

 

I've decided upon the full formal kilt so I'd like to wear either military accessories or something neutral that would compliment the outfit. Just so happens there is a Scottish clothing and accessories establishment about 50k from my home. I'll be paying a visit straight away to set things in motion.

 

Repsol

HappyScot, ohmigoodness that is the funniest post I've read on Cruise Critic!!! Thank you so much!

Madame, I exist to serve.

Let me put it this way. Say you walked into a dance in Scotland with 200 lassies present. 100 would leap on you because of the kilt. The other 100, scornful of such transparent attempts to impress them, would leap on you because you were a black man.

Try to wear it reasonably correctly, don't get too worried about all the clan crap (about 2% of Scots are actually "entitled" to wear the tartan they wear), and you'll be pushing them off.

We really, really don't take it 1% as seriously as all our cousins who spend 3 years researching so-called tartan history, then turn up in something bright yellow with mauve stripes because someone told them it was the McBashtheEnglish hunting tartan. Basically we just wander down to Woolies and buy something red, turn up and get hammered.

xx

OK folks - here's my disclaimer right up front. I am posing the following in all honesty and sincerity and don't wish to incite any kind of ethnic, gender, or racial animosity. Please don't flame me or each other should you choose to respond.

 

Now then, to our fellow cruising Scotts, and others who may be so inclined to contribute:

 

I have always been fascinated with the kilt and admired men who have the courage to wear one outside it's native setting. So much so that I've recently contemplated donning a full formal kilt myself. I am a Black man and couldn't be further removed from Scottish heritage so I'm wondering if it might be looked upon as mocking if I were to wear one.

 

A kilt is edgy in and of itself - a Black man in a kilt; doubly so.

I like to push the fashion envelope but not so as to cause discord in the process.

 

Have any of you seen a Black man in a kilt? And against my better judgement I'm going to ask this do you think this is something I might be able to pull off - with class even?

 

Repsol

Surely a dedicated civil servant would be replying in triplicate. I'm grateful you haven't though.:)

Dedicated......civil servant?

Nope, sorry, no idea what you're talking about.

Right - so you already work in a comedy environment?

 

That's the sad thing about the Civil Service - it isn't a comedy show. They really are serious.

 

Matthew

I've referred that remark to a committee for consideration. They are confident about a reply in early 2009. Now please be quiet - I'm calculating how much my pension has gone up by since you posted.

You're a genius.

 

I don't know what you do for a living, but resign in the morning and take up stand up.

 

Matthew

Sir, the War Ministry regrets to inform you that I am a civil servant. I never resign in the mornings, a period when I prefer to enjoy the smell of napalm.

I believe in WW2, when we were rather short of food, .

I believe in WW2 as well. There is ample evidence it was a real event. Keep the faith.

When I worked in Edinburgh, in Morningside (super-posh bit of posh city for cousins) the trees in the grounds were infested with grey squirrels. We watched them avidly as an alternative to work.

One year, a poor wee soul was born and joined the colony, some kind of mutant. He had no tail, no fur and no ears. He learned how to cope, much as challenged humans do, and we all cheered him on. We christened him Stumpy, voted not to throw stones at him, and tried to look after him.

Anyway, mating season arrived. Well, that was the funniest thing ever. Squirrels use their tails for many things, including, in the case of males, keeping their balance whilst procreating. Stumpy would spy a winsome lass, leap on top, and fall thiry feet to the ground. Run up the tree, leap on top, and fall thirty feet to the ground. We used to lay bets on how many attempted bonks a particular female would put up with before seeking raptures new.

Ah memories................

But nothing like as much fun:D

No, you misunderstand. FIT a tap so that unpleasant brain and digestive juices can be drawn-off before consumption. Alternatively, can be used uncooked as a cocktail shaker: making the little bugger drink spirits can be tricky, but worthwhile when you see the delight on your guest's faces when you toss your kitten about a la Tom Cruise and then pour Mai-Tai from its ear.

no comment;)

 

(ducking)

Oh you've gone ducking? Wish you'd said, can't stand the little feathered fiends. I'd have been happy to carry your gun.

More usefully, does anyone have any culinary tips for grey squirrels, which arrogantly disport themselves in my garden, and don't even seem to hibernate?

I think you'll find they hibernate once hit with a spade.

The organisation I work for hires people to shoot grey squirrels (who apparently are BAD) because they give squirrel Aids to the red squirrels (who apparently are GOOD). Drive them up to the border, tell them Scotland is full of nuts, and we'll take care of the rest.

Bwah hah hah.

I was going to reply in great shock and say no, not York! But thinking about it once they've grown up a bit there'll be some meat on them:)

No need to wait. Force-feed them herbs for a day or two, then pop them on the barbie; you'll find the spine acts as an ideal skewer, and voila! novelty mini kebabs. I find it best to tap them on the head first; it's kinder, but more importantly a barbie always goes better if guests don't have to chase their starters round the garden. If there's any left over, they will freeze OK. The kittens, not the guests: they'll bugger off when the good vino runs short, or when Dr Who is due on.

We tried cat and propeller - the b****y thing worked out we were trying to kill it!

Damn damn damn.

I locked one of my cats (by accident) in the garage last night. With enormous dignity, it stalked out this morning when I went a-hunting power tools, having deposited the world's biggest - and I mean biggest - jobbie on my gardening gloves.

I take it you've tried releasing the hounds?

As long as it's a dead ORANGE cat I think it would be a very helpful thread:) Of course it would first need to explain how to kill the cat:D

errr...see the muuuu-duuuurrrr; it may assist.

No. 1

A cheap substitute for champange.

No. 2

An athlete's foot treatment of some repute but little practical effect.

Good Lord! Sir Martin's photograph is on the home page.

Bwah hah hah hah

I can be quite rude if necessary.......

 

Matthew

Your a civil servant.

Take covvvvveeeerrrrrrr...............Cruachan, ensure the Officers Latrine is safe.

Ha ha ha.

 

Let me die laughing.

 

One of the ways I cannot waste time at work is on this board. Even if I (as I do) have times when I have nothing to do.

 

It's been blocked. Together with Ebay and anything of interest. Oh, and Sport.

 

Thank you HMG.

 

Matthew

Is everyone on this board a civil servant????

As one of Her Majesty's civil servants, I too go by that same maxim.

Try walking around with a piece of paper in your hand all day.... that works well too:D ! Good to know that the taxpayers money is being well spent. Come to think of it, it is - on cruises!:) :) :)

Nah - just get appointed as the Head of Internal Audit (for Brenda too). Fear and loathing. They know you don't work, but are they going to say anything? Bwah hah hah hah.

 

Ah, Yes, but what of Miss Hyacinth Bucket?

 

 

I know nothing of this receptacle.

 

Oh wait - is she one of the Berkshire Buckets? I believe I may have hunted with her late grandfather, Admiral Trough.

Ooooooooooooooooooohhh!!!!!

 

We're hypenated now are we?

 

Normal surnames not good enough for you now?

Next you'll be accompanying Mrs Parker-Bowles-Windsor-Battenburg-Saxe-Coburg to launch our new ship.

 

 

I think you'll find Mrs Parker-Bowles-Windsor-Battenburg-Saxe-Coburg will be accompanying me.

David,

 

The surname he chose? Well now, that was Happyscot - but, around the village, he was always known as "Big Malkie"

 

Jimmy

Thank you Jimmy for helping me to understand and come to terms with my past. This is a noble thing you are doing.

I trust there will now be a little more respect round here about Daddy's drink? If it was good enough for the Perthshire Happyscot-Lackers, it's certainly good enough for you lot.