MiddleAgedBroad

I've only been on one cruise in my life, and that was with my introverted husband.  Since he passed away six years ago, I am considering signing up for The Nation Cruise.  For someone like me, a week with a bunch of bleeding heart liberals is probably a good intro to solo travel.  Has anyone ever been on this cruise?  If so, can you describe how many solos go, average age, and whether it's always the same people so it would be like being at a new high school, or is it a good experience for a solo traveler?

I have only been on one cruise, and that was with my husband in 2010.  He died six years ago and I am consdering my first solo cruise (on a theme cruise -- the "The Nation" cruise in December).  I am 64 years old.

It seems to me that "solo" is kind of an all-encompassing term and is more of a logistical thing than a "things in common" thing.  What people might be looking for in meeting other solos in one's 20s (friends and/or shipboard romance and/or True Love(TM)) vs. what one might be looking for in one's 60s (nice people to hang out with, especially other solo women).  It's hard for me to imagine a catch-all "solo" event where all age groups would be comfortable.

I'm finding it very hard to get out of my head that a cruise ship is going to be like a high school, where I'll be judged because I'm quite overweight, or thought weird for any of a number of reasons.  That's one of the reasons I'm considering this theme cruise, because I know we'll all have at least political leanings and a certain amount of interests in common.  

I'm interested in how other people get past that "No one is going to like me and I will be lonely but surrounded by camaraderie" thing.  I'm pretty well able to chit-chat with people, and I'm friendly if I'm comfortable, but if I feel judged I tend to crumple like a cheap car.

On 4/23/2014 at 11:16 PM, Casco Bay Kid said:

Will try and pin down a cruise. I will supply free Spaghetti Monster T-shirts for each person who cruises in our group.

 

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Count me in.

On 8/9/2019 at 10:30 PM, MHF said:

Maybe we should charter a cruise for widows who refuse to give up cruising.  I'm taking my first solo in November to the Caribbean too.  AND I booked a clear kayak tour too.  AND (avert your eyes) I ordered a new bathing suit.  It's been a tough year but DH's wish was for me to be OK so this is how I'm trying.

That is a super fun idea.  :-)

On 7/26/2019 at 10:41 AM, bnbeyer said:

Montego Bay - I was probably going to go to Doctor's Cave beach or maybe Frenchman's Cove beach. Thoughts or recommendations?

 

Beaches in Montego Bay are not all that great, and quite honestly the snorkeling there is only so-so.  But if you want a great beach, and your ship offers an excursion to Negril, definitely do that one.  It is 1.5 hours each way, but you'll get to see more of the western coast of the island, perhaps stop on the way for some good jerk chicken, and 7-Mile Beach is beautiful.  I've been to Jamaica 19 times and love Negril.

Congratulations on doing this.  I will be six years into this "widows journey" in October and I am thinking of booking the "The Nation" cruise as my first solo cruise.  I'm thinking a theme cruise might be a good first solo cruise.  When are you going?  I look forward to reading about your experience.

I always make it a point when at a social gathering where there are couples, to focus on the wives and make conversation with them. If my widowed status comes up (which I try to mention only in passing, unlike my mother, who would begin every introduction with "I lost my husband"), I try to say something like "my husband passed away three years ago, and I'm building a new life...I'm glad for the years we had but I'm not looking for another one" -- and usually that defuses any discomfort. Or I say "We were happy but I'm enjoying my freedom too" or something like that.

A lot depends on how your boundaries are. Some women are very threatened by any women talking to their husbands, but wives who are not overly insecure know boundary crossing when they see it. I know it's one more thing we have to deal with, but it's important, especially if we travel alone and don't want to spend the entire trip with our noses buried in a book.

For me the big issue is meals. I already have issues eating in public because I am overweight (because in our society, overweight people are not allowed to eat anything but salad), but I just don't enjoy sitting in a restaurant alone. I can do it if I am traveling for business and I bring a book, but I find it an unpleasant experience. However, what's MORE unpleasant is sitting alone at a table full of people and no one will talk to you.

Are there any routes/ships that are more geared toward older travelers? I would hate to go to some kind of solo meetup and find myself in a crowd of young singles.

I wouldn't say I am shy, and I AM friendly, but I have never been fully able to get out of my high school head, where I was treated like the fat weird chick. I recently moved to a new state and it has helped that I HAVE to get out.

It also doesn't help that I have RBF (ask me if you don't know what that means) and when my face is at rest it doesn't look happy even if I am.

When my husband was alive, I always wanted to pal around with other couples on vacation, but he never wanted to, so we didn't. The one cruise we took, we ate at the buffet every night because we don't like to dress up.

I'm sort of thinking in terms of taking a very short cruise to start, maybe 3 days or so, just to see how I do, before committing to a week. I like the idea of hanging around in the library or other places on the ship rather than doing the bar thing, which I found depressing in my 20s and would find horrifying now.

I'm a 61-year-old widow considering cruising for the first time, and a "singles cruise" is the LAST thing I would choose. I would go on a country music cruise first, and I hate country music. ;-)

I can't believe I'm that much different than many women in my situation who would be looking for:

- friendly people to hang out with (singles, couples, young, older)

- congenial meal companions

- relaxation

- nice places to hang out and read and stare out at the sky

- activities not involving being an a-hole (i.e. no belly flop contests, etc.)

I'd want to meet new people to be with on the cruise and also have some solo time to read and drink coffee, and go on some interesting excursions.

Not all of us are looking for a new husband, especially at our age!

As a relatively (3 years) recent widow, it's time for me to stop waiting for people to go on vacation with and venture out on my own. It seems sometimes when I read that most solo cruisers are young and, well, cruising. I am a friendly 61 year old not looking for hookups (or husband #2), but just want a relaxing vacation with interesting ports, hanging out with friendly people of any age, and yes, solo down time on my balcony to read and think.

Are there any older solo cruisers here? What has your experience been?

@Truluv: I look forward to hearing about your cruise!:)

I can't tell you how happy I am to find this forum and this thread. I am a 60-year-old widow; my husband died in 2013, and I am getting ready to retire next year so I will have time to travel if I want to. The part of travel that I can't stand is what I call the "shlepping." So cruising seems like an attractive option.

My husband and I did a Canada cruise a few years ago before he got sick and we both really enjoyed it. We ate exclusively at the buffet because neither of us wanted to get dressed up and with that option we could stay casual. I'll put on some "nice casual", but I'm not into the whole gowns-and-spangles thing...I don't even OWN any dressy clothes.

I'm more social than he was, so for me the option of having dinner with others is more attractive than it was to him. I'm fine with sitting with either sociable couples or solos of similar age. (I hate the word "singles" -- it implies "young and on the prowl" and I am neither. I had my husband and I am NOT looking for another one; dating was horrible enough in my 20s!)

I'd be interested in knowing the age group of some of you. Are any of you solos also "on the shady side of 50"? And those of you who are social, do you find you gravitate more towards younger people or around your age or both? For me, I'd enjoy both some activities AND sitting on deck or my balcony with a nice cup of coffee and a good book.