WTMhs

Walking around the ship with a friend/sibling, taking part in group activities is great fun for them. Just don't see how wandering around on their own is really making them happy.

At this point there are only 7 kids aged 5-17 booked on the cruise. I don't think there will be group activities.

As for making them happy, I used to pretend I was a detective and I "investigated" the ship. It was gloriously fun. Learning routes, finding shortcuts, getting to know the old couple who always sat on in a certain place and would play slapjack with me, the bartender who'd pretend to be angry at me when I poked my head in the bar before it opened, etc.

Oh now I'm nostalgic, and how I wish I didn't get so seasick. I can't cross the Sound without wishing I hadn't gotten on board.

It would be helpful to know what city and state you live in. While child abductions is rare in my city (Bellingham, WA), there is always a parent or two standing with groups of children in elementary school while waiting for the bus. In Seattle (only 100 miles south), parents need to be even more vigilent There are no laws on the books about this -- it is common sense.

 

Some cruise ships hold thousands of people. I'm certainly not suggesting that you hold your arms out while your child goes down the slide into the pool. Knowing where they are and checking up on them every hour or so (depending upon the age of the child) should not be too much to ask of a parent.

I am but 150 miles south of you, and our little burg has kids by themselves at most bus stops. I cannot find a WA law about not being able to walk to school. But, I just scanned the info, as we homeschool (in small part to expose our child to the risks that were considered normal when hubby and I were children. I'm all for seat belts and crash helmets, but kiddo takes part in riskier outdoor activities than most kids, with his outdoorsy, non-risk adverse, stay-at-home dad by his side.). I agree it is "common sense" in that it is what is commonly done, but I believe people FAR overjudge the risk because of media reporting, and may be raising a generation of people who have panic attacks if they aren't constantly on a cell phone with a protector. (Note: I am being hyperbolic.)

Checking where your child is hourly is not enough to prevent molestations and murders. I work with murderers and rapists. I'm sure you read about a recent murder at our hospital. It was silent. SIlent. If the goal is that, hourly is not enough. An hourly check would be more appropriate for making sure kiddo isn't bothering other cruisers (and I'm all for that). In the case I am foreseeing, it would be kiddo popping down to the cabin to get something and coming back, perhaps by the scenic route. I don't want to break rules nor get kiddo stopped. Nor have every mother in the area track hubby down and chew him out. Our goal is not to have a grown up without the burden of a child about, as they are best buds, but to promote independence without getting kiddo or hubby chewed out.

So, it seems that kids do walk about by themselves on cruises. That it is not against the rules, and, if I read correctly, most people are just interested in their cruise and don't register if a child is walking around.

There are few places left in the United States where children are permitted to walk to school at the age of 5. Not sure where you live, but children under 10 (or so) are closely watched by parents, teachers and other care givers. The cases of children being abducted or harmed in this country is way too high -- most parents would not allow a child of 5 to go anywhre alone in a public place.

Last time I checked, half of stranger abductions were in the 12-17 range, and 3/4 were girls. The overall rate per population has been trending downward. The national fascination with this, with 24/7 reporting and Amber Alerts have put it at the forefront, but *the actual number is low*. Estranged parents are much more likely to do the napping.

Not that I throw all caution to the wind, but I don't believe there is no negative effect from hovering over kids. Hence we seem to be always caught between indifferent parents with wild kids, and helicopter parents who are aghast we didn't stand under our child, arms upraised, every time he climbed the jungle gym. Others have been downright rude over our son's kayaking.

I'm also not finding specific laws about age/distance of kids walking to school, at least in my state. I find my state's laws on when a child can stay home alone shocking. Accidents are much more likely to kill a child than a stranger.

I'm trying read between the lines a bit, but I feel you asking us not to form an opinion of what your child should/shouldn't be allowed to do...but what the "norms of society" of the ship will look askance at.

 

Well, it is two fold. Our little area has kids walking about because a significant number of parents feel it is safe. But a few miles away, and no kids walk the streets, and all buses are met. A bit beyond that, lots of kids roam, shootings happen, kids end up in juvie and parents are dopers. So, finding out "what is done" lets me know not only what the general flavor is, but will also allow me to clue in my son about general behavior. Hubby is a great dad, but sensing social norms is my bailiwick and I'm not going to be on the cruise.

I believe they have walkie talkies and it sounds as if that is the way to go, to assure both kiddo and myself. However, we do take risks, and I would also not assume the average plotting pedophile looking for a cruise to meet kids would pick one with less than 8 booked. :) It would have to be an opportunistic pedophile.

On the odder side, the only significant crime I was exposed to as a child was on a ship, where our waiter was chopped to bits in his sleep. Amidst the general angst, an adult passenger (it was a freighter and there were only 11 non-crew members) asked me why I wasn't terrified, and I replied, with the confidence of a loved child, "My father said this was obviously a murder of revenge. Why would I be worried?"

This event was also the prompting for my favorite thing ever said to me. A rather tipsy (there was a lot of drinking after the murder) woman in her 70s shloshed up to me and said: "Kirsch cake [for my birthday] and a murder by 12 -- what's left for ya, honey." :D

thanks for everyone's input.

I was in bed LONG before that so I have no idea.

Kiddo will be, too.

We are not mall goers, as our local mall has more violence than our little bedroom community. Kiddo would be allowed to walk about our town, but is so afraid the police would stop him, he won't. (This phobia is from his dad being much older than a dad usually is, and since he would sit in the children's playground at parks with a bunch of moms young enough to be his daughters, and our kiddo was fairly independent, nervous moms would get the idea he was there childless and call the police. One occasion our son was taken by a police woman and questioned while hubby was questioned separately, in case kiddo was a kidnapped child. Kiddo was three. He now has a phobia getting into any situation where the police might be involved. Hubby noted the last time this happened our son, before the policeman opened his mouth, said, "You're only doing your job. You have to respond to all calls." he'd heard it so often.:rolleyes:)

Hence me trying to scope out what might be appropriate or expected. If I can honestly tell kiddo he won't be rounded up by someone in a uniform for popping back to the room to get a swim suit, I think might be willing to do it. If I tell him it is "not done", he won't.

Also, I remember those days of freedom very sweetly, the only time my folks let me off a very short leash.

"It depends on the child". What would have been your opinion about *your* child, assuming they are of normal physical and mental health, and a normal IQ and a normal sense of not letting strangers touch you or take you anywhere unless they say your family code word?

What is "done"? At your side until age 21? How about 16? What age children do you see walking about?

(I'm not so worried about kiddo running about bothering other people. If anything he is too concerned about how other people view him, and would hate to deserve any approbation. I also realize children change, and do go through spunky stretches. I also won't be there, and hubby is not always the best judge of "what is done". I mean, are people going to track him down and tell him horror stories the way someone might if you left a sleeping baby in the car while you got out to buy a paper from a vending machine, with baby in sight the whole time .... because that happened to him.)

I've never cruised, but back in the 60s I "crossed" with my family. Even my *very* strict parents (didn't let me wander 3 blocks from home in our small college town until I was 14) let me wander about loose, just checking back in periodically by the time I was 9.

What is the general age now? Kiddo will be on a cruise with hubby, and it will be mid-fall and thus far only 7 children above 6 are booked, and the line says the organized kids events aren't going if there are less than 20 children (which is fine by us, it's just kiddo will be itching to be footloose, and he'll stand out). What say ye?