fratboxer

Me and the Beau will be on the Oasis of the Seas 4/13/13. If any other members of the family are going hit me up.

0. Do not park at the dock in Port Canaveral. You will get charged $15 + per night. The best deals are the hotel stay one night and sail packages or the park-n-sail parking lot which is only $8.50 for night if you are FL resident, military, police, firefighter etc or $9.50 otherwise

1. Internet is an outrageous $160 for 480 minutes. If you absolutely have to pay for the internet what you need to do is follow the policy download now, read later. For example if you go to cnn.com you may see 20 stories that you want to read. This may take you 30 minutes or so and use precious minutes. What you need to do is left click on the web page you want to read and a menu will come up. Hit the item that says “open in new tab”. Do that for all the stories/web pages you want to read. It may take a minute or so for them all to load up on your web browser but once they have loaded you can immediately log out. You now have all the stories loaded up on your browser and you can take as much time as you want reading them and you won’t be charged minutes for the privilege.

2. If you use Microsoft Outlook to access your email do not stay on line while you are reading your messages. You should log on to the internet through Carnivals web page and then open Outlook. All your messages will be immediately downloaded to your inbox (I had a ton this morning). Once your messages have been downloaded and your folder is up to date immediately log off the internet on the carnival web page (type 1.1.1.1 in your browser) so you don’t get charged minutes. Keep Outlook open and you can then read and reply to all your messages. They will be stored in your outbox. Once you are done with your emails log back on again in your web browser and Outlook will automatically send all your emails. This takes a minute or so depending on what you are sending. Once this is done you can immediately log off. You can condense an hours worth of work on email and only get charged a few minutes on your ship account ( the time it took to download and send your messages).

3. You will get killed with phone charges if you try to make calls out to sea. Download Skype on your laptop and use that to make calls. It will still cost you about 40c per minute (in terms of the carnival internet fee and the small Skype fee) but it is MUCH better than using the $3 per minute international roaming. If \you are good at multi tasking make your calls on Skype while following the above directions on how to load multiple web pages onto your browser. This way you can talk and load at the same time saving precious minutes.

4. If you absolutely have to use your cell phone wait until you get to St Thomas (if your ship ports there). It’s a US territory and your phones will work there. You won’t even get charged for roaming.

5. To save money you can use an old soda sticker from a past cruise (or card) to get free soda. Simply take your old card to the bar (with the sticker), cover up the old date of the cruise (all they care about is the sticker) then order away.

6. If you absolutely have to pay for the soda card only buy one for your party. Have one person in the get a soda card and furnish sodas for the whole group. You can also pass the card around and have multiple people use the card. If you are going to do this the best trick is to have people use different bars. Sorry this one is a bit naughty

7. Smuggling liquor on board is the absolute key to saving money on your cruise. Use rum runners!!! They are worth it! There are endless topics about smuggling booze on board so I will try not to talk too much on this subject apart from tell you what has worked for me. If you are bringing in 2 suitcases put all clothing in one and use that for the rum runners or any alcohol you may have that is stored in plastic bottles. Metal objects in a suitcase (laptops, canisters cups, etc) attract attention and you do not want to draw attention to the suitcase which houses your booze. You should therefore put all your metal objects in another suitcase. If your metal object attracts suspicion and suitcase has to be opened they will not find any booze as it is safely tucked up with all your clothes. This trick has worked every time for me.

8. If you need to restock your bar during a port trip my experience has been that security is coming in from port is pretty lax so its easy to bring booze on board (either using rum runners, or simply bringing in the bottle). If you travel with another compatriot have them go through the metal detector first, then them to make small talk with whoever is manning the metal detector. It worked a dream for my tequila and rum at Nassau. The lady was too busy chatting to my buddy that she didn’t even look at the machine as the backpack was rolling through with all the booze. Of course theatrics is always better so if are travelling with a pretty girl have her accidentally fall and scream. That always distracts enough . OK perhaps that’s gilding the lily but I am sure you catch my drift. If you need to bring mixers on board its pretty easy to bring them on from port. I bought on a case of red bull and they didn’t bat an eye ( I had run out the day before and about died when I had to go to the ships bar and buy a can for $5….that was only drink I paid for on the ship all week long).

9. My poison of choice is screwdriver. In the morning go to the buffet with a bubba keg / thermos etc in order to get as much orange juice as needed for the afternoons drinking. You can go back to your room and use the orange juice as your mixer for the alcohol you smuggled on board. Be sure to have the steward empty your mini bar and you can use that to keep everything nice and cold. If you and unsure of your steward are nervous about keeping booze in the fridge get a collapsible cooler and store your booze there. Keep it under lock and key in the luggage under your bed and you will be just fine.

10. I managed to bring on board a magic bullet blender (its nice and compact). Its perfect for daiquiris. It will save you a fortune over the $10 drinks they serve at the bar…..You can pick them up from $20-$30 on eBay. I put this in my laptop bag surrounded by all my laptop cables. It went through fine. I put the accessories in my “metal” suitcase (see part 7)

11. You are allowed to bring on board 1 bottle of wine/champagne per passenger. Be sure to bring it on board. If you don’t like wine you will find that you can trade it with someone that does…..I was able to trade my bottle of champagne for a massage at the spa (someone from my dinner table had prepaid for a massage and decided she didn't want it).

12. If you need cash in a pinch and have to pull it out of your credit card account Carnival will charge you an arm and a leg in fees at the casino cashier. To avoid those fees what you can do is go to a slot machine and download money from your sign and sign card. As soon as the cash is on your card go straight to the cashier and cash out to get the money. It’s as simple as that. Your credit card will still be billed the $20 but you will not have to pay the nasty fees. Even better is that the money is billed through Carnival so you don’t have to pay the 20% interest rate that you normally would as a cash advance. Of course you can always tie in a new credit card account to your sign and sail account if you want to use an alternative credit card.

13. If you want to keep on a budget never ever take an excursion from the cruise lines. They are a complete rip off. On this cruise Carnival offered a “jeep tour” for 160 per person. (Total $320). I went to National right by the port and got a jeep by being emerald isle and using a free rental day (I travel a lot for work). Even if I would have had to pay for the day I could have got it for $80 for 24 hours, much less than Carnival had offered. If you plan ahead you can do in some instances the same tour at half the price. There are lots of postings about this on the forum so I won’t dwell too much here.

14. Take some plastic wrap on your cruise and get sandwiches from the ships deli and take them to port. This way you will save on meals when you on shore. It’s a little bit naughty as you are not supposed to take food off the ship but no-one ever checks, especially if you are in the crowd when the ship hits dock.

15. The ships TV channel is lame at best, the only thing worth watching are the pay per movie channels which of course you have to pay for. With a little bit of effort you can rig up a system so that you can watch movies that you have downloaded onto your laptop on the TV in your cabin. You will need to bring a HDMI to video cable. It took a bit of work but I was able to pull out the ships video cables from the back of the TV and replace it with the cable joined to my laptop. You will see video pictures on your screen and you can use the sound from you laptop as the speaker. If you want something a little bit better in terms of sound you plug in external speakers to your laptop, or even better an iPod dock (just use an audio cable to connect the laptop and the speakers). I would suggest bringing a power strip so you have access to multiple plugs (our cabin only had 1 plug). I put the power strip in my laptop bag when I embarked. It got through fine.

16. Bring a first aid kit. The ships doctor charges outrageous prices for even the most basic of service. If you drink a lot like me be sure to bring lots of antacid pills (e.g. tums). You will need them and you do not want to have to buy them on the ship. If you absolutely have to buy medication wait until you hit port.

17. Do not play the bingo! It is a complete rip off. I paid $20 for 1 game of bingo with a pot of $500. The problem was that were about 200 other people paying the same amount of money therefore the pot should have been closer to $4000 (lots of profit for Carnival). Of course with so many people playing the chance of winning at bingo is very small. You will get much better odds at the casino so if you are going to have a flutter take your chances there not the bingo hall.

18. Fee cologne. Why waste money on buying cologne...or even using your own. The ship store has free samples of cologne. Where a new fragrance every night!!!!

19. Of course if you want to wash your clothes you are going to pay for it. The going rate is $4 for a wash and $3 for a dry. Who wants to pay that??? Simply use the free soap they give you in your bathroom and use that to wash your unmentionables. Since them off and use your balcony or towel hook to dry your clothes off.

20. Formal dinner every evening is such an enjoyable occasion. The one part that ruins it is where you are asked to order drinks. You know that the bar costs an arm and a leg, that is where you liquor flask comes in a treat. Use your sign-sail card to get a cranberry juice, then give it some pizzazz with the liqueur flask that you filled with the ill-gotten booze that you brought on board. You can place the flask on the table, and no one will say anything to you.

21. You are allowed to bring 1 bottle of wine/champagne on board but if you want to bring it on board you are going to be charged a "corkage fee". Who wants to pay that?? Simply bring a thermos flask to the dinner table. You can fill that up and pour own. If the waiters try to take your wine glasses after you initially refuse the wine menu, simply shoe them off and threaten to order wine later.

22. If you are going to enjoy drinks from your own personal mini bar you may encounter the problem of having to go back to your room to restock (taking booze to the bars/clubs on board can be cumbersome if you are keeping the liqueur in your pockets). Carnival will provide you with glasses in your cabin but they are small and having to go to your room to restock can be boring. At dinner the formal water glasses are much bigger and can hold more alcohol so be sure to take them back to your room and use them to enjoy the liquor you smuggled on board.

23. You go the club and your buddy wants to do a round of shots. $20 for 4 people at a minimum. Who wants to pay that? Be sure to take a flask full of liqueur to the club. Make sure your buddy buys, first then re-pour the shot glasses full from your flask. So-Co and lime works a dream .

24. Most cruises( including the Carnival dream that I was on) deliver an enjoyable drink that is served in a novelty cup (pineapple shell, coconut shell etc). Most of the time it is simply a shell with a plastic cup inside. You have two cost effective options here. Pay up front for the luxury and then "rinse-and-reuse" (using the liquor you smuggled on board) or wait until someone leaves the area (and their coconut or pineapple that they purchased) Simply take it to the bathroom to clean it, then use alcohol that you have smuggled on board.

25. In my previous post I had alluded to the fact that you can tip your steward good enough to get you out of a lost beach towel situation. Please be aware that if you are too cheap to tip your steward you can follow the bath of helping yourselves to the stewards cart. it is bulging with used beach towels, simply help yourself when their cart is in the corridor and they are busy cleaning. $20 is $20 correct? Who wants to pay that. Sorry this one is naughty

26. Today we had a 10 hour port stop in St Thomas. Be sure to eat a full breakfast on board before you leave. This way you don't have to shell out on food once you arrive. If you want to be really cheap bring

a packed lunch using plastic wrap. In the evening simply return to the ship when you are ready to eat. Voila, a whole days meals and no $$$'s spent

27 Rum cake. At the ships store you will see mountains of rum cake at over charged prices. The good thing is they have free samples!!! Help yourself and enjoy endless rum cake at no cost.

28 Haircuts. Haircuts on board on cost big $$$. Bring clippers and do it yourself!!!

29 starve before boarding. Don't spend big money at Denny's before you come on board on embarkation day you are wasting your money. Save those $$ and eat when you get on board. Its free!

30 Tropical watermelons and fruit. Help yourself to the tropical fruit at the buffet then go back to your cabin and pour liquor all over them. Yummy!!!

31. I will end by saying just because you are on a budget don’t be cheap to the steward. If you help them they will help you. I had the misfortune to misplace my beach towel and he was happy to replace it.